Why Did I Burp?

I had no idea why a burp escaped me. As I casually rubbed my belly after letting out such a frivolous sound, Boreas looked like he was losing his mind.

[What kind of absurd bastard is this! Wait right there! Once I drive off Iris, I'll rip your body apart starting from the head!]

But Boreas wasn't the only one shocked. The gods' astonishment followed in waves.

Zeus, however, seemed amused by me.

Screw how far—I was in deep shit right now. I'd nearly died after swallowing a fragment of the Burning Nameless One's divinity before, only barely surviving. For a mortal, divinity wasn't something you could just handle. Even a tiny shard put your life at risk.

"Gaaargh!"

The reaction hit immediately. Thick black smoke erupted from my mouth and eyes like an explosion. It felt like Boreas's divinity was thrashing wildly to escape my body. I clamped my mouth shut and covered my eyes with both hands.

"Urgh!"

The backlash made my body swell up, like it was about to burst. My gut felt like it was inflating from the inside.

-Peleus! You'll explode at this rate! Just spit it out!

Divinity fragments weren't something you could gobble up willy-nilly. If they were, the world would be crawling with guys like me. But of course, it was impossible for mortals.

There were two main ways for a mortal to gain divinity: receive it directly from a god, like Zeus had granted before, or have some fated connection to one. I'd succeeded with the Burning Nameless One's fragment because of that connection. That's what gave me the guts to try this reckless stunt.

But neither applied here, so the Secret Book was screaming at me to stop.

-You fool! Do you want your greedy gut to burst and kill you!

Harsh words. Sure, I was greedy, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew acquiring divinity required a god's intervention.

-Look... at my hand.

It felt like my whole body was being riddled with bullets nonstop; I could barely respond. I collapsed forward, gasping for breath. Staring at the hand propping me up, I saw intricate, grotesque dark tattoos etched across the back.

-Peleus, no way!

-Yeah... If this didn't work... I was gonna bail.

My head spun wildly; even lying prone, the ground seemed to tilt sideways as my balance faltered. But I trusted the tattoo on my hand. It was a gift from the elephant demigod I'd freed from Iris's prison—it was supposed to save my life once. It contained powerful magic that activated a god's power under specific conditions.

-This counts as divine intervention too. A bit different form... urgh.

The conditions were met. I'd swallowed Boreas's divinity betting on that elephant demigod's favor. If it failed, I'd just puke it back up. Normally, you'd die the instant you tried, but I was different.

-Think it'll work?

The Secret Book pressed like it was nagging, but I had no breath left to answer. Cold sweat poured off me like I'd been caught in a downpour.

And damn, this was way harder than expected. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Boreas's divinity reeked of malice—like I'd chugged a barrel of poison. Maybe I should just give up? I'd already scared the crap out of him pretty good. He must be shaking in his boots.

...No. Keep going. Living this long, who knew I'd owe that goddess one like this. Talk about killer motivation.

"Grraaaargh!"

Black smoke leaked from my gritted teeth. It felt like a red-hot furnace had been shoved inside me, the molten metal inside sloshing and then exploding, flipping my insides.

Boreas's divinity was definitely ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠making one last desperate struggle to escape.

"Aaaagh!"

This wasn't pain you could endure with willpower alone. Enduring it now, I understood why so many heroes in the past had died trying to seize divinity on their own. Most must have failed. Now that I'd tried it, I realized just how insane the challenge was.

"Urgh..."

As my consciousness faded from mental exhaustion, the elephant demigod's tattoo on my hand twitched. Not sure if "twitched" was the right word—it started moving like it was alive. Then suddenly, it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠vomited out countless leech-like things.

"Gah!"

Pain or not, the grotesque sight startled me. Countless leeches burrowed into my body all at once. No time to stop them.

-Peleus!

-Shut it and watch if these leeches help...

But strangely, as I gasped for air, I realized my body was recovering fast. It was like the leeches were scurrying around inside, devouring the foul, murky residue Boreas's divinity spewed out. If not for the sensation of them rummaging from head to toe, it'd be fine.

"Haa..."

A long sigh escaped me unbidden. I'm alive. What a recklessly mad gamble, but the leeches...

"Urk!"

Irresistible nausea hit, and I spewed out a torrent from my mouth. It seemed endless; tears streamed down my face. Finally, after heaving forever, I looked at the ground—covered in dead leeches.

-I puked all that up?

-Not a sight for sore eyes.

Urgh... Am I good now? Felt like all the bad stuff was gone, only the good remained. Probing inside, I sensed Boreas's divinity quietly settled. Couldn't use it yet, but no harmful effects either.

"Success."

The gods watching this all expressed shock in unison.

But the most crucial reaction right now wasn't that.

When a unheard-of mortal swallowed his divinity fragment, Boreas was clearly flustered. And that decided the fight.

Thud.

The sinister aura coiling around dead Idomeneus's body dissipated. Looked like he had no more energy or thought left for chatting with me. The night sky trembled harder; he was probably rushing to finish Iris and come kill me. But things don't always go as planned—even for gods.

Iris's light grew brighter by the moment; anyone could see victory smiling on the rainbow god.

"Odysseus! Help suppress Crete's bunch!"

Odysseus, still with some strength left, dashed over at my shout.

"Understood!"

We immediately subdued Idomeneus's followers and bound them with ropes. Other heroes joined in. They knew which way the wind was blowing. Soon, the captives knelt before me.

"Meriones, you dared steal my arrow and plot treason—don't beg for mercy!"

I berated Meriones, Idomeneus's cousin. He rolled his eyes, making excuses.

"I had no choice. The Cretan king's orders..."

Slap!

I backhanded him without warning.

"Gah!"

Meriones screamed and toppled sideways, spitting bloodied teeth onto the grass.

"Still haven't come to your senses? Can't grasp your situation yet?"

"Please, have mercy! I'll compensate with gold."

Slap!

I hauled him up and slapped him again. Only then did Meriones speak appropriately.

"P-Please... spare me."

"Want to talk? Answer my questions honestly. Your precious Cretan king is already like that anyway."

Idomeneus lay dead, his monstrous upper body split open. Everyone averted their eyes in horror.

"You helped that monster plot. Hanging you now wouldn't be amiss."

Meriones and Idomeneus's faction all looked woebegone. Rumble! Boom! The gods still clashed high above. But brighter light flashes appeared more often now.

Confident it would wrap up well, I addressed the crowd.

"Listen up. What makes a great hero? Heroes from villages and cities gathered here, yet during my stay, I saw scarcely any worthy of the title."

I pointed at dead Idomeneus, voice rising angrily.

"When this wicked fiend laughed maniacally and rampaged, what did you so-called heroes do—drinking and strutting about? Unless my memory fails, you all screamed and fled every which way."

There were brave ones like Big Ajax, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Atalante who'd charged in. But with dozens of suitors, only a handful truly fought. Even those who joined mostly hung back, watching from afar as frontline fighters bled.

I skewered that point sharply.

"Even those who drew swords half-turned away, legs aimed opposite—like grotesque statues from the side."

"......Kkh."

Some bowed in shame. Others pretended not to hear.

"Heroes come in many types. Those who die devotedly for country are saintly heroes; the uniquely bold and fierce are heroic champions. One who holds off ten alone is a peerless warrior; the cunning whose wits tower over others is a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠crafty overlord. With all these heroes in the world, where do you lot fit? I've read countless books, yet can't place you—who can enlighten me?!"

Beating around the bush, I basically called them unworthy heroes. Those who'd dodged fighting and eyed opportunities flushed red, trembling.

I gave them one final warning.

"I once treated you as heroes, but no more. Reflect on yourselves. When gales howl, were the words from your mouths screams or battle cries?"

With that, I drew my sword.

"Ancient law says cut off a thief's hand—don't forget this severity."

At my nod, Agamemnon and Menelaus seized Meriones.

"No! I'm Cretan royalty! How dare you chop a noble's hand like a commoner! You mad bastards! Think you'll get away with this?!"

Meriones, who'd cowered, now spat curses and struggled up. That must be his true nature. Never expected real remorse anyway.

"Royalty are a nation's roots. Strong roots bear fine leaves and fruit. Rotten ones must be pruned, no?"

Slash!

I severed Meriones's hand in one stroke. The severed limb arced through the air, spraying blood.

"Aaaargh!"

Meriones wailed in agony. But I mercilessly grabbed his hair and whispered,

"Today, one hand suffices. But someday, you'll split open like your cousin there."

"Sp-Spare me... guh-huh-huh."

"Why provoke folks when you're such a scrub?"

I chopped off hands from Idomeneus's entire crew. They soon got permission, picked up their king's corpse weeping, and slunk away.

I eyed them coolly, warning the rest.

"They deserved scorn, yet showed one virtue at the end. Know what it was?"

Terror-struck gazes met mine.

"Knowing their place. I hope you Cretan virtue-mongers learn from it."

From now on, "Cretan virtue" would mean knowing your place.

The suitors scattered, clutching fear and shame. Only those who'd truly clashed with monstrous Idomeneus remained.

Sparta's king Tyndareus, root of all this, sat half-dazed. Iris wouldn't let him be anyway—no need for me to act.

Kieeeek—

Then a piercing wail echoed from the distant night sky. Black thunderclouds hastily retreated north. Boreas had lost to Iris after all.

The night sky blazed like day in Iris's rainbow hues, as if boasting his triumph.

Odysseus approached, murmuring in awe.

"Look at that. What a magnificent rainbow, eh?"

I nodded silently at the mythic spectacle overhead.

"Incredible colors."

Yeah, really. Almost like...