Chapter 75
Chapter 75
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 75
Chapter Title: Witch Hunt Backfire
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[Notice: Actually, I Am a Girl...]
Author: Judak*
(Witch hunt group disbanded meme)
(Frog with an angry face flipping the bird meme)
Sorry, I pulled some agro just to show you this...
Is the medieval humans' level of awareness for real?
This is a trial by the world's biggest idiots...
How do they go from "life's gotten better" straight to holding a witch trial?
Those same loser humans? Real humans are legendary...
[Upvotes 1512] [Downvotes 9999+]
- Fuuuck, got baited
- Jukki yah hoo~ Jukki ruk kik
- Just admit you're a cute girl already
ㄴ Come on, admit it quick!
ㄴ If you don't admit it now, you're done for!!
- Myo Ran) lol
ㄴ Acting all high and mighty after seeing your face
ㄴ Wanna grab you by the ears and lift you up
ㄴ Myo Ran) (Shotgun stored in village meme)
ㄴ Almost said it lol
ㄴ Don't say bad words ㄴㄴ
Right before the witch trial could proceed, I quickly posted a thread.
But a regular post wouldn't stop the execution in time, so I stirred up some agro.
And just like that, the comments section exploded.
- Judak*) Okay, everyone, calm down
ㄴ Fuuuck, calm down my ass
ㄴ My left hand's name is Calm. And it wants to meet your face.
ㄴ (Elf flipping the bird meme)
ㄴ Judak*) (Permanent ban screen cap meme)
ㄴ Judak*) Calm down, I said
ㄴ Sorry
ㄴ If you're gonna ban me from the gallery, just kill me instead
But with my outstanding eloquence, I managed to calm down the gallery users.
There were three people tied to poles, about to be witch-hunted.
From the way the crowd was shoving torches at them, it was clear they'd all be dead if I'd been even a little late.
With the trial halted for the moment, someone stepped forward in protest.
- Albert the Faithful Cardinal: How rude! Judak, you dare interfere with a religious trial?
A gallery user with a truly legendary nickname.
From the looks of it, he was part of the cathedral crew running the trial.
- Judak*) Those people are witches?
ㄴ Albert the Faithful Cardinal: Of course! They used the power of demons, so punishment is just!
"What a load of verbose bullshit."
Of course, I didn't agree with that at all.
I couldn't help but frown.
Burning people alive over some delusional, unrealistic crap?
"You're out."
I was about to hit permanent gallery ban without question.
"Huh?"
That's when Penny eating birthday cake instead of breakfast caught my eye.
Come to think of it, Penny's a demon too, right?
"Real witches might exist?"
This is an apocalyptic isekai with friendly elves using casual speech...
I regained my senses for a moment.
Then I calmly directed a question at Albert the Whatever Cardinal.
- Judak*) Then there must be victims, right?
Even in medieval times, you couldn't just accuse without victims.
Though in hardcore versions, they stab first and ask questions later, but it didn't seem that bad yet.
- Albert the Faithful Cardinal: Indeed. This man right here is the victim!
ㄴ Alster) Sob... Yes, that's right. I am the victim...
ㄴ Alster) (Peasant unable to continue speaking meme)
The victim who appeared was a gallery user named Alster.
But in his meme, he looked perfectly fine.
Not like someone who'd been hit by demonic powers at all.
- Judak*) You look pretty healthy? Where are you hurt?
Limbs intact, huge build to boot.
Doesn't look like a victim—more like the one causing harm?
Alster then spoke in a trembling voice, as if recalling the trauma.
- Alster) I'm just an ordinary villager with a fiancée!
"No, wait, he really is a victim?"
Alster looked like your average villager.
Had a fiancée, lived an ordinary life.
Was I totally wrong? Right as I thought that, Alster continued in a pained tone.
- Alster) Those were peaceful days. But one day, a witch came to our village.
The moment our eyes met...
An inexplicable desire and whisper corrupted me...
Without realizing she'd cast a spell, I approached the witch!
When I came to, I'd given my body... my body... ugh...
In one night, she stole my purity and defiled my faithful heart...
It was all that witch's evil sorcery!
- Judak*) ?
"Fuck, he just committed a crime."
Just a regular crazy rapist.
I turned to the real-time stream meme.
There were the real victims, bound and tearfully watching this.
All accused as witches for similar reasons.
"No need to see more."
Without further thought, I opened the system.
Then I dove into Alster's gallery log and combed through his past posts, leaving comments.
- Judak*) Alster ← This fucker's past posts
[Private Post List]
Private / One week ago / New girl who moved in lol. Post her pic if she's hot, upvote lol
Private / 5 days ago / Finally did it... shit, is my life over?
Private / 3 days ago / lol nah, life's about action~ Reported her as a witch right away~
The gallery user posted anonymously, then went private when shit hit the fan.
But there was something he didn't know.
"Where do you get off playing victim?"
One: Posts on the gallery don't get deleted.
And two...
ㄴ Judak*) You piece of shit
ㄴ Alster) Wait, it's private, how?
ㄴ Judak*) Think about why I'm Judak
I can see private posts too.
[Block this user?]
[Block duration: Permanent]
I immediately hit the on-site ban.
ㄴ (This user has been permanently banned)
[Permanently banned troll!]
[Points awarded: 203]
And with that, the criminal vanished, leaving me just a few points.
ㄴ Whoa whoa whoa
ㄴ Gallery permaban? For real?
ㄴ Whoa, witnessing it live ㄷㄷ;
ㄴ So everything we've seen so far is unusable now?
ㄴ Fuuuck;
ㄴ Better to just die lol
The onlookers started murmuring.
Naturally, the cardinal running the trial wasn't unscathed either.
- Albert the Cardinal: Th-this is slander! That woman is a witch!
"Heh, still not getting it."
Judak's powers are versatile.
One of them: I can edit other people's nicknames at will.
[Nickname 'Albert the Faithful Cardinal' → 'Albert the Cardinal'?]
- Albert the Cardinal: What is this? What are you doing!
The cardinal got his first normalization.
But it didn't end there.
- Oh shit; Wait, they were innocent?
- Then I was defending a rapist?
- Even if it's an event, framing innocent people is too much
- But what's "innocent" that's causing all this fuss?
ㄴ You fucking murderer
ㄴ Why the sudden rage, psycho? I never killed anyone fuck
ㄴ This is "innocent"
ㄴ Ah, got it. Understood right away
ㄴ lololol fuck
ㄴ Eye-level explanation lolol
Countless eyes were watching live.
The crowd at the scene moved immediately.
"Time to die, huh?"
What kind of world is medieval?
A world where one or two deaths are everyday.
Private sanctions were a classic problem-solving method favored by commoners.
"Wait, hold on!"
The witch trial site instantly flipped to reverse witch trial.
The cardinal got nick-changed in reality and dragged from his seat.
Alster was tied to the pole and vanished into warm flames.
But the root problem wasn't solved.
"Oh, this is just daily life."
Realizing these happened daily like events pre-Great War, I felt the need to intervene.
"It's not just religion."
This affected gallery users' lives—and mine too.
Pondering how to step in, I checked a new notification.
[Gallery Doctors Meeting]
- Watching the gallery, everyone's gone mad
- Looks like they need enlightenment
- Saving people = People killing people themselves
It was the gallery doctors, from Black Death onward, who worked for me like hands and feet.
Maybe because I gave them info posts and basic medical books?
They seemed relatively awake.
One called out to me.
- ExcellentDoc) Judak. Do you need our help?
- ExcellentDoc) Barbarism gets replaced by violence
The top performer, ExcellentDoc.
Seeing the chat sparked an idea.
*
[Title: Children Born from Mistakes]
Author: ExcellentDoc
(Gallery doctor muscle flex meme)
everyone, another problem?
We save people
But people sometimes kill people
Some uneducated misguided kids commit illegal murder?
so Mr. Judak, produce these results
(Witch Trial Guidelines)
1. Hold witch trials in the gallery too
2. At least one gallery doctor observes witch trials
3. Wrongful trials or false accusations turn into reverse witch trials
No need to agree of course
but you, get replaced by permanent ban
[Upvotes 5512] [Downvotes 1]
- Heh; Of course we'll follow
- Gallery doctor's words are law...
- We'll definitely follow... heh
- Naturally, who would disobey heh ^^;
- ExcellentDoc) Good response. But dissatisfaction
ㄴ Yes?
ㄴ ExcellentDoc) Which condomless result left a downvote?
ㄴ ExcellentDoc) Demand immediate appearance. No-show means kiss my fist
ㄴ Sorry sorry sorry
ㄴ It was a real mistake. Meant to upvote but finger slipped to downvote. Not trying to piss you off, please spare me
ㄴ lololol begging for life
ㄴ Spare me) For real
One good solution.
Handle it with medieval physics.
And luckily, I had the gallery doctors as my armed force.
"Whew, that settles it?"
Seemed like witch hunts would quiet down.
As I tried to get back to reading concept posts peacefully, a new notification.
"Gallery doctors?"
But unexpectedly, it was from one of the witch trial victims.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Lord Judak? Ah ㅠㅠ You read it ㅠㅠ Thank you so much for saving me ㅠㅠ
"Ah, one of the tied-up gallery users."
Felt good.
I'd saved an innocent life, after all.
Judak*: lol No prob. Take care. Tell me if anything unfair happens
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thank you! Really thank you!
Up to there, it was fine.
A heartwarming story of saving an innocent victim.
But the next chat was the problem.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: (Pointy hat, long ears, witch outfit self-meme)
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Truth is, I am a witch ㅠㅠㅠ
"What?"
She really was a witch?
I was too stunned to reply.
Ignoring that, Poma kept chatting, not expecting a response.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thanks to you, I survived and can get revenge!
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thank you so much! Lord Judak is the savior of all witches!! >o<
['PotionMasterGonnaBe!' has left the chat.]
Judak*: Wait, hold up
By the time I called her, she'd already left.
"No way? Right?"
Hoping otherwise, I opened the gallery.
[Title: ㄷㄷㄷ Cardinal Murdered]
(Street-hanged cardinal meme)
Fuuuck that's scary wtf?
- What the hell is that on the street in broad daylight?
- Face turned purple, extra limbs on body?
- Fuuuck, really got got by a witch?
"Ah."
A witch murder had occurred.