The World Tree Kidnapping (Part 3)
The dark elves gathered in a tight circle, their long ears twitching with curiosity.
At the center of their undivided attention rested a tiny white vitamin tablet.
“Leader, what did you say this was again?”
“A multivitamin... Vitamin D, or something like that.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean, Leader?”
“...I have no idea.”
Roen pouted slightly. Everyone claimed Judddak was a supreme Archmage, so perhaps this was some esoteric branch of high magic. She picked up the tablet and scrutinized it with squinted eyes.
“So you’re telling me this tiny pebble... can substitute for the sun, even if only a little?”
“Come on, Leader. How does that make any sense?”
“Our leader is way too gullible. She’s practically begging to get scammed.”
“Hey, all of you, quiet!”
Her subordinates might have had wildly unruly personalities, but she was still their chieftain. If this strange white pebble caused any harm, she would shoulder the burden alone.
Steelening her resolve, Roen swallowed the vitamin in one gulp.
Instantly, a barrage of anxious questions erupted around her.
“How is it? What does it taste like?”
“Does your body feel sick? Any pain?”
“Umm...”
Roen patted down her arms and torso in a daze. After a few seconds of bewilderment, she tilted her head.
“I don’t really feel anything?”
Naturally so. Dietary supplements required consistent intake over time to show any meaningful effect.
A month had passed since I first supplied the dark elves with vitamins.
Though she had choked down the first pill like a condemned prisoner swallowing lethal poison, she now took them religiously with every meal.
Her compliance was likely rooted in the trust built by my daily deliveries of sustenance. I had experimented with sending loaves of bread and other provisions, but dark elf culinary preferences were remarkably uncompromising.
“These hopeless triangle kimbap junkies...”
They craved only, exclusively, and irrevocably triangular rice balls wrapped in nori seaweed. Whenever I sent plain cuts of roasted meat, the response was always lukewarm at best.
A decidedly tepid reaction. But whenever I sent crates of bulgogi triangle kimbap instead?
They would fling their arms into the air, screaming in uninhibited ecstasy and singing hymns of praise in my honor.
“I will never figure out how dark elf brains work...”
Regardless, one month had passed, and noticeable biological changes began manifesting in LoveDarkness’s body.
The bone-deep aches and constant fatigue have vanished like a bad dream.
Thank you so much, Judddak!!
Watching them interact made one thing abundantly clear.
“They’re genuinely pure-hearted kids.”
They had abducted the World Tree out of sheer desperation to escape extinction, but beneath the grim veneer of outcasts, every single one of them was absurdly sweet and naive. Even so, vitamins were not a permanent cure for an eternal absence of sunlight. While their condition had improved temporarily, their fundamental dilemma remained unaddressed.
“Should I supply them with firearms and weapons first?”
Eventually, they would have to march to the surface to claim a piece of land under the open sky. From the dark elves’ perspective, there was no reason to surrender their hostage until a lasting solution presented itself.
“Huh?”
My expectations were completely shattered. Out of nowhere, the dark elves volunteered to release the World Tree.
The community was just as bewildered by the sudden proclamation, but the dark elves’ reasoning was painfully simple.
They simply refused to burden me any further.
Now that starvation was off the table, they intended to resolve the rest of their troubles through their own grit. That heartbreaking integrity swept through the gallery, pivoting public sentiment entirely in their favor.
The fact that surface elves already possessed rock-bottom reputations certainly helped stoke the flames. More importantly, the dark elves had another, far more urgent reason to release their hostage.
Deprived of sunlight in the dark depths of the ravine, the sacred tree had begun to rot and wither.
At the end of the day, dark elves were still elves. They were willing to forfeit their leverage solely for the sake of their divine tree.
“I really ought to help them out somehow.”
I pondered whether providing military gear so they could carve out a proper settlement on the surface was the right move. Just as I was wondering if the World Tree would peacefully return to El-Ladh, a frantic post popped onto the board.
W-We are trying to send her back, but she won't go!
She's smashing all the dark elf furniture to pieces and throwing a massive tantrum!
Heeeeeek!
“What the hell?”
The victim herself was throwing a violent fit, completely dismantling the dark elves’ living quarters because she adamantly refused to go home.
The World Tree kidnapping incident.
Having received food rations and vitamins from Judddak, the dark elves voluntarily abandoned their hostage plan. It seemed poised for a heartwarming, peaceful resolution, but...
“Hiss-s-s-sk!”
“W-World Tree-sama, please calm down!”
The moment she caught wind of their plan, the World Tree revolted. She had crawled into the upper corner of the ceiling, clinging to the rafters like an overgrown spider and hissing with unrestrained venom.
“World Tree-sama, at this rate, you’ll destroy your health!”
“The Leader is right! You have to return to El-Ladh at once so that you can—”
“HISSSS-S-S-K!!!”
“Heeeeeek!”
Every mention of returning to El-Ladh triggered a full-blown fit of hysterics. Despite her harmless, petite appearance, she threw a rampage like an utterly unhinged problem child.
“I am nev-v-ver going back there! Do you think I'm crazy enough to return to those morons?!”
“World Tree-sama, if you keep this up, we’ll have to restrain you by force!”
“Just try it, you cowards!!!”
Dark elves were peerless masters of assassination. In matters of silent movement, ambushes, and pure physical agility, no race on the continent could rival them. Yet, against all odds, they could not lay a single finger on the World Tree.
Her defiance, however, was running on borrowed time.
“I like it so much better here! I'm never going back... Ack, cough!”
“World Tree-sama!”
Deprived of vital light and minerals, severe malnutrition caught up with her, and she coughed up sap before tumbling straight to the stone floor. Several dark elves lunged in unison to secure her.
Yet it was a calculated feint.
The moment they closed in, thorny brambles erupted from the floor, neatly tying the dark elves into helpless bundles.
“Heeeeeek!”
“Hehe! Told you I’m not going!”
A World Tree could technically survive without conventional sunlight; the cosmic moniker was not handed out for nothing. However, the subterranean city of Lumelin possessed no nutrient-dense substitutes to offset that deficit. Day by day, she grew visibly frailer, yet she refused to yield an inch of ground.
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Armed with an uncanny surplus of self-made reaction stickers, the World Tree staged her armed protest on the forums. Not a single commenter mocked her, however, because the entire gallery already knew the absurd torment she had suffered back in El-Ladh.
“If she hates it this much, I actually feel bad for her.”
If the victim herself despised her homeland that deeply, forcing her to return just to appease surface elves felt wrong. The kidnappers and the hostage had practically swapped roles, leaving me deep in thought.
“In other words, she just needs an artificial supply of light and nutrients, right?”
Natural sunlight was ideal, but a World Tree could sustain itself without it so long as adequate nourishment was provided. I navigated to the dimensional system shop and browsed through the botany catalog. As always, the system had the answer ready.
No natural sun ever reached the deep subterranean ravines. The World Tree had begun to wilt day by day, her glossy emerald hair and smooth skin drying out like brittle parchment.
“Well, that’s all in the past now.”
Once the supplies from the shop arrived, the World Tree curled into a contented ball at the very center of Lumelin. The dark elves erected a cluster of full-spectrum plant growth lights around her perimeter and fed her bottles of concentrated nutrient solution.
“Wait... she’s currently in the shape of a human girl. Does that actually work?”
Just as I wondered about the biological plausibility, a bright, tender green sprout poked straight out from the crown of her head.
For centuries, the dark elves had endured exile, forcibly severed from their sacred arbor by their brethren. Now, after endless generations in the dark, they had coaxed the divine tree to sprout anew with their own hands.
A flood of over-the-top, sycophantic declarations swept the board as dark elves migrated into the community in droves. Though their overall numbers were modest, they still constituted the population of an entire underground city. Given their innate diligence and raw talent for arcane arts, they would prove tremendously valuable to the network.
It was a genuinely happy ending for all involved.
Except for the surface elves, of course.
Reflecting on this ordeal, I felt an acute need for a new Assistant Moderator.
“The racial animosity around here runs way deeper than I anticipated.”
Even on the brink of apocalypse, racial friction was vicious. Elves hated dark elves; elves hated dwarves; elves hated humans.
“Wait a minute...”
In any case, having only two Paddaks made moderation an uphill battle. With the World Tree going into seasonal hibernation after her ordeal, an administrative void opened up over Myeolgal Wiki. Soon-to-Die Vampire specialized purely in physical reality bans with her scythe, while Full-Health Elf was constantly targeted by witch-hunts and revolutionary uprisings solely because of her elven lineage.
“The time has come to appoint another Sub-Mod.”
I reached a decision. Wasn't a triumvirate of three Assistant Moderators the golden standard of internet community governance anyway?
To any gallery users wishing to become an Assistant Moderator,
And to all who have dreamed of wearing the blue armband,
Feel free to submit your applications ^^
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The official announcement dropped like a tactical nuke on the community. In seconds, thousands of resumes and pitch threads swamped the front page.
Among the sea of desperate applicants, there were surprisingly prestigious candidates boasting impressive credentials.
“Mhm, mhm.”
I skimmed through each thread with a nodding smile, then systematically discarded every single one of them.
First rule of recruiting an Assistant Moderator: Never, under any circumstances, grant moderator authority to someone actively begging for it.
This was an unshakeable iron law of the internet. In all my years across countless message boards, I had never once seen a well-adjusted individual beg for an administrative armband. Those actively craving power were invariably unhinged tyrants in the making.
The recruitment notice was, in truth, an administrative sting operation.
“Now that I’ve filtered out all the applicants who posted threads, finding the right person will be a breeze.”
Eliminating the volunteer pool narrowed the search down significantly. As I casually scrolled through regular posts in search of a sensible, reluctant user, one thread caught my eye.
“What’s his deal?”
It was a post from our well-known resident fixed-nickname user, xXStormMageXx. Intrigued by the brief and visceral panic in the title, I clicked inside.
A dragon literally fell out of a clear blue sky onto my tower.
It's been perched up there for an hour screaming that it came to prove it's a real dragon.
It keeps shrieking, 'Do you believe me now?!' and I have no damn idea what it's talking about.
Holy shit, Judddak-nim, please save my life.
“Wait, that’s an actual dragon?”
Attached to the post were unmistakable photographs of an apex mythical beast, perched atop the magic tower and throwing a cataclysmic tantrum.