The Chilling Horror of Otherworldly Medicine (1)

The beastfolk were running completely wild.

Community control had totally slipped from my grasp.

"The Hall of Fame... has been completely overrun."

The Recommended tab, which used to boast a healthy variety of intel-sharing, field survival status updates, monster hunting logs, and emergency calls for aid, was entirely in ruins. Now, it was stuffed to the brim with shameless clickbait tagged NSFW, Mild NSFW, and Thirst Trap. At this rate, what was the difference between this board and an Otherworld Rabbit Beastfolk Bod Gallery?

"The core theme of this community must be preserved...!"

Having watched the front page devolve into a monoculture of skin and fur for days on end, I frantically hammered out a post.

It was my ultimate trump card: the stern, authoritative plea to halt. Yet, contrary to my expectations, the response was colder than ice.

"Ah."

I had overlooked a crucial fact. Unlike me, who had enjoyed a peaceful, modern life on Earth before transmigrating, these people had spent decades rolling in the mud, barely scraping by on the brink of death. When hit with an unending feast of intensely provocative imagery, their exhausted brains simply short-circuited.

Moreover, there was an underlying catalyst behind why the board had lost its sanity to this degree.

The popular fixed-nickname succubus, WholesomeModest, had stopped regularly posting her provocative photos. It was entirely my fault: after guzzling down the modern high-proof liquor I sold, she was able to satisfy her appetite for lust without having to solicit attention through risque posts anymore.

And to make matters worse, another massive headache had sprouted.

"Wait, what the hell is that last one?!"

I gave the rabbit beastkin a bit of humanitarian aid, and now their eyes had rolled clean back into their heads. Nearly every single post was accompanied by personal photos coupled with impassioned pleas begging me to come live in their burrow. It ranged from flirtatious invitations to share carrots to tempting offers letting me fondle their fluffy ears.

"Whew... Calm down. Deep breaths, keep it together."

My cursor hovered reflexively over the permanent ban button, only held back by sheer discipline. Everywhere I turned—hell, even when I sat perfectly still—a grotesque sea of naked flesh besieged me from all angles. It was so harrowing that it almost coaxed genuine curses out of my mouth for the first time in my moderator life.

Even so, I was the Gallery's Head Mod.

Pruning what needed pruning while dutifully saving what deserved to be preserved, I concluded another exhausting day of community maintenance. With a bit of downtime on my hands, I finally opened the barter parcel Myoran had sent earlier.

Tucked inside were two items whose descriptions shed little light on their actual purpose.

Before investigating the gifts, I brought the gallery back under semblance of order with a swift regulatory notice and drafted a new inquiry post. The 100% Golden Carrot had detailed item information provided by the system, but the Magic Rabbit Burrow Ticket was entirely devoid of explanation.

"An absolute universal cure."

Essentially, this was an extra life in vegetable form. I had told them to send whatever they had lying around, but to think they'd part with something so absurd. Hopefully, I'll never find myself in a situation where I actually have to chew on this.

That left the ticket.

Most users were completely in the dark.

Only the rabbit beastkin commenters were aggressively, uncharacteristically urging me to rip it open. Which, naturally, made me want to use it even less.

Refusing to make any ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠rash decisions, I quietly monitored the thread until a comment popped up from someone who seemed to genuinely recognize the relic.

Befitting a long-lived race, a few elves seemed to recognize the ticket's lineage.

"They really are an entire species of soju fiends, aren't they?"

The fountain of Elf-pedia trivia had gushed forth without hesitation. Piecing together the details, it was undeniably an instant-teleportation consumable linked straight to the rabbit tribe's subterranean village.

"Wait... Isn't that actually incredible?"

If my life were ever in mortal danger or if someone breached the bunker to abduct me, this meant I had an instantaneous escape route. Once the chaos settled, I could simply hike back up to the surface. The more I mulled it over, the more overpowered it sounded.

However, an ominous thought struck me, and I typed out one more follow-up.

The entire purpose of that golden ticket was to kidnap me.

I immediately snatched the shimmering slip off my desk and hurled it into the farthest, darkest corner of the bunker. Not feeling safe even with that, I scooped it up, locked it inside an iron safe, wrapped it in duct tape, and hermetically sealed it away so I wouldn't tear it by accident.

"I only received a Golden Carrot. That's all that happened."

Under no circumstances would I ever touch that ticket. Realizing that my life had almost reached its premature final chapter right here, a severe sense of vigilance regarding the barter market flared inside me.

"If someone mails me a cursed relic, I'll be marched straight down to the netherworld."

I needed safety countermeasures against such hazards as a top priority. Shivering at the goosebumps crawling up my arms, I deliberately turned a blind eye to the rabbit beastkin's despairing comments and continued browsing the recent forum feed.

That was when a particular headline stopped me in my tracks.

Judging by the photo, the laceration wasn't deep at all. Looking at the guy's toned physique, a simple clean bandage and proper sanitation would have seen it scab over and heal within a couple of days.

Yes. That was assuming he received sane, standard medical care.

What kind of demonic, death-wishing rituals were these idiots prescribing?! Pouring cow milk and raw flour into an open vascular tear?! Or rubbing dirt-encrusted tree sap and rotting leaves straight into the wound?!

Stunned by the horrifying majesty of medieval otherworldly medicine, I let slip an unfiltered profanity for the very first time in my moderator career.