The Bizarre Food Craze (1)
Three genuine, top-tier, biohazard, vomit-inducing disasters of cuisine that make you feel guilty even comparing them to dog food. Yeah.
Any hunters wandering around out there putting down beasts will be intimately familiar with these abominations.
However.
Ever since this stuff dropped, the entire game changed.
Eating monster meat used to be the absolute last resort when you were literally starving to death. Now, this insane seasoning makes you crave it even when you have normal rations left.
Just shaking some of this powder into hot water boiled with monster flesh gives it legendary, authentic savory depth.
Three-Line Summary:
1. Head Mod released something called MSG.
2. Monster cuisine became insanely delicious.
3. Head Mod, you glorious bastard, I love you. Brace your cheeks for a big fat smooch.
Head Mod ← Upvote if you think he's freaking adorable lol
I swear I wanna grab him right now and plant a massive kiss on both his cheeks lol
"The anti-tracking measures are holding up properly, right?"
The gallery was running completely amok.
Having inhabited forums longer than anyone and earned the title of Head Moderator, I was a diehard gallery addict who seldom swore. Yet right now, I felt as though I was participating in some grueling trial called Restrain Your Rage: Level 999.
Why on earth did these lunatics respond to good treatment by threatening to smother me in aggressive kisses?
"Well, if things turn dangerous, I have plenty of contingency plans."
• Handguns
• Submachine Guns
• Shotguns
• Rifles
...
The shop system was divine, and I was invincible. For instance, the K2 assault rifle—the bitter tears of every South Korean conscript—cost a meager 650 Mana Dumplings. Back on Earth, I had been an exceptional marksman with top combat evaluations; in front of my iron sights, everyone got one bullet equally.
"Assuming it doesn't jam, of course."
With a fifty-percent failure rate, every trigger pull was a coin flip between victory and demise. Naturally, there was no need to resort to such extreme measures yet. The horn gifted to me by the popular fixed-handle user WholesomeModest was diligently masking my location coordinates even now.
"Still... is monster meat in this world really that foul?"
I had seen plenty of images of orcs and trolls circulating the board. Posts frequently mentioned chewing on them purely to survive, but nobody had ever provided an actual review of the taste. Driven by curiosity, I had once asked the forum's resident meat enthusiast, Full-Health Elf.
Her visceral reaction had given me a pretty clear picture.
"Still, MSG isn't some miraculous cure-all. This fad will blow over soon enough."
I shrugged off the community's sudden hysteria. What was an imageboard, after all? A chaotic place where topics shifted dozens of times a day. By tomorrow, the hype would fade, and the front page would be flooded with the usual brand of brainless shitposts.
I switched off the illumination and drifted into sleep, completely oblivious to one crucial truth: to denizens of an otherworldly wasteland who would willingly swallow curry flavored like manure just to stay alive, the power of pure MSG was an apocalyptic revelation.
We tracked down that forest troll that's been living in the cave behind our village and turned it into barbecue lol.
The bastard tasted awful, was massive, and was a colossal pain in the ass to hunt, so he was always an annoying pest.
But the moment our village users tasted MSG, it was like they had coordinated a hit—a huge mob rushed out and beat the beast to death in minutes.
The goblins lurking nearby were utterly bewildered.
Seeing them stand there looking dumbfounded before screaming in panic and running for their lives was funny as hell lmaooo.
They almost looked kind of cute lol.
Anyway, our next meal is roasted goblin.
Our region has heavy undead contamination, so no matter where you look, there are only zombie bros wandering around.
Oh, if you travel a bit further out, there are zombielin bros too, but their rotten, sloughing flesh is basically the same.
If we sprinkle MSG on these guys, wouldn't they taste good too?
"What on earth is wrong with these people?"
The next morning, the gallery was plunged into even deeper pandemonium. The Popular tab, which usually boasted a healthy variety of content, was now partitioned entirely between provocative lewds and heated culinary debates over monster flesh—and the menu was expanding at a terrifying pace.
What started with goblins and orcs had escalated to trolls, and was now brazenly eyeing the undead.
Undead beings, composed of bare bones, were animated entirely by ambient mana. People were gleefully boiling those bones down into soup. Even worse, roving mobs of survivors were attempting to harvest zombies, giving rise to the bizarre spectacle of decomposing corpses sprinting frantically away from ravenous humans.
Surrounded by this endless feast of delicacies, yet they cried and whined that they were starving and begged for emergency aid.
How is that any different from standing in front of a conveyor belt sushi buffet and complaining that you're hungry?
Yet, as was always the case whenever a festive mood swept the community, there was invariably one haughty race eager to douse everyone in icy water.
Where have your table manners and healthy vegetable diets gone?
Watching you all frantically gorge yourselves on foul monster flesh makes you look no different from vile goblins.
Unlike your uncivilized kind, we elves do not consume the slimes and lesser beasts that populate our lands.
Sharing the same breath as you in a communal forum such as this is deeply humiliating!
Managing this gallery rightfully belongs to the elves.
"Their passions are certainly inflamed."
The old adage holds true: whenever an issue crops up, blame an elf and you'll usually be right. The elf had hijacked the Popular page using vote manipulation, but this forum possessed an acute hatred for artificial boosting. Subjected to an immediate, merciless barrage from every other faction on the continent, the haughty post was swiftly and pathetically deleted by its author.
However, the post left behind an unintended ripple effect.
Despite being classified as monsters, slimes lacked the fishy funk and rancid bitterness typical of demon beasts. Thanks to their mild inherent venom, they offered a unique, fizzy, popping sensation on the tongue. Veteran forum hunters who remembered that flavor immediately swiveled their hungry gazes toward El-Ladh.
It marked the genesis of a monumental migration: hordes of diverse races storming toward El-Ladh, a territory that had remained isolated and unvisited for ages.
This MSG is truly supreme!
Viscous, foul blood transformed into pure nectar.
This is nothing short of a culinary revolution!!
I wish to praise you!
That... I remembered!
Orange Badge! I crave to kiss your cheek!
Brace your cheek for my smooch!
Brushing aside Godjukheup's terrifyingly affectionate death threat, I turned my attention back to the gallery, which had spiraled into pure, unbridled madness.
The entire forum was consumed by this culinary inferno. Primitive soups made from roughly chopped, boiled flesh quickly evolved into intricate recipes. Self-proclaimed monster food chefs conducted rigorous studies to discover the optimal seasoning ratios. As the frenzy peaked, an increasing number of survivors took up arms and ventured out, actively hunting down beasts to satisfy their newly acquired palates.
KABOOM!
SKREEEEEECH!
"Wait, they're hunting all the way out here?"
The proof echoed right outside the storage facility. The frenzied, bloodthirsty shouts of hunters drifted in from the distance, mingled with the panicked roars of besieged monster packs. I considered stepping out to investigate, but wisely decided to remain hunkered down in the bunker.
At any rate, the main reason the gallery was burning with unusual intensity today was remarkably simple.
I came to Elad to hunt slimes because I was curious, and an elf timidly approached me.
Next thing I knew, she planted her butt right next to me and started vacuuming up the food I cooked.
She's been scarfing it down like an animal for three whole hours now lol.
Those hypocritical elven snobs whined about monster cuisine being vulgar, but look at her true colors showing lmaooo.
Hold tight, sweetheart.
I'm going to remodel your body into one that can never live without monster food again.
The proud and aloof elves had finally succumbed to the irresistible gospel of monster cuisine.