Chapter 215
Chapter 215
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 215
Chapter Title: The Chilling Secret of the Elves
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>Isekai Destruction Gallery Episode 215 (216/467)
[Title: Goosebumps-Inducing Creepy Elf Secret.jpg]
Hey there.
First off, before getting into the main point, here's my credentials.
(Jusak Magic Tower Mage Certification)
As you can see, I'm a legit Jusak Magic Tower mage.
Still a scrub for now, but anyway.
During my research, I stumbled on a seriously creepy hypothesis and wanted to share it.
So what's this hypothesis?
(Pic of goblins and orcs taken in the forest)
(Pic of an elf taken in the forest)
It's that elves = magical beasts.
You might be thinking, what kind of bullshit is this?
But hear me out seriously.
(Isekai Destruction Gallery Wiki: Elf Controversy page)
Elves were once the prime troll race.
They rode the World Tree, ravaged the land, and plundered other races.
They always preferred looting others' stuff over their own, and they never listened to reason.
Then the Great War broke out + World Tree bounce incident,
They had the best conditions but ended up the most pathetic race.
(Pic of a magical beast from the Great War era)
And magical beasts are trolls too.
They carry the outside on their backs, wreck the land, and plunder other creatures.
They always prefer looting others' stuff over their own, and they never listen to reason.
Then Judak showed up,
Now they're in the most advantageous position but suffering loss after loss and turning pathetic.
In other words,
Elves = magical beasts.
Elves = ancestors of magical beasts.
Elves = internal spies deliberately trolling to bring apocalypse to the world.
This, fucking hell!
[Likes 8993] [Dislikes 1921]
- Holy shit, I just got chills;
- Are you a genius or what?
- Wtf;;; it all fits like this
- Fr, we've all been fooled by those sneaky elves
- Does this even make sense!!!
ㄴ Exactly!!! Just cuz you slap = signs on pics doesn't make it true!
ㄴ OP) Name one race you like.
ㄴ .
ㄴ Your face is orc
ㄴ OP) lol, hit a wall so straight to personal attacks?
ㄴ Elf simp
Elves were once the strongest race.
Beauty? Check. Physical prowess? Check.
On top of that, their long-lived perk gave them superior combat sense over other races.
But that was the problem.
"Their behavior is just like cats."
No, comparing to King God Emperor Nyan was an insult.
Elves squandered those advantages with extreme laziness.
That became poison, and the gap widened starkly after the World Tree left.
While dwarves and humans refined steel and trained knights, elves still just shot arrows.
And the results were clear.
[Title: Lord Judak, help!!]
(Pic of a scrap-metal magical beast smashing trees)
(Pic of a flying arrow snapping uselessly)
Arrows aren't working!!!
- You again, elf simp?
- Oh, I know exactly who this is
ㄴ OP) o_o?
ㄴ Elf trait) Hehe we're the best → Eek arrows ain't working!! → Waaah Lord Judak help!!
ㄴ OP) -_- ooo
The moment arrow-proof magical beasts appeared, elves had no answers.
Problems they'd muscled through before became impossible without the World Tree.
Elves don't create problems.
But when problems arise, their response rate is less than 50%.
"Isn't that the issue?"
This time, though, no big worries.
"We got Full Elf. Cheers."
Pop, full-blooded honorary human.
She was the most un-elf-like elf, always thinking ahead.
Prime example: the quota system.
To stop elves slacking, set quotas and gather Elad-exclusive materials.
"Sold 'em in the gallery, right?"
Barter for sales.
Profits reinvested into weapons.
"Of course, easier said than done."
Diligence? Fat chance.
But Full Elf made it possible.
"Elves are all bark to the weak, meek to the strong."
Elves bully other races.
But Full Elf? She's an elf too.
Plus, she's the Queen's Knight Captain.
The ultimate elf counter.
"She said she bought a ton of steel recently."
Upgrading weapons for elite elf knights.
Even a decent wave could be handled by Full Elf's crew.
Full Elf: Judak
Full Elf: Judak
Full Elf: Jjuuudaaak
Judak*: ???
Full Elf: (Pic of elves twitching on the ground)
Full Elf: ㅎㅎ; save us plz
"Aw, man."
Limited to regular magical beasts, anyway.
*
The era when elves were strong was ancient history.
Tough, massive magical beasts emerged.
Wooden arrows did nothing to them.
So?
Time to change.
"We elves can't stay stuck."
The times are changing.
Full Elf Eliana knew it.
Now was the time to adapt.
Problem was, only Eliana thought that way.
"Heeeek, Eliana-nim split in two... so Elli-nim and Ana-nim?"
"Booze... more booze... no, bring it all!!!"
Even the elf elites.
The knight order wasn't right in the head.
Drinking on duty hours, smoking herbs, babbling nonsense.
"Ah."
Limit reached.
Eliana forced in quotas.
Knights film and report patrols.
Regular elves gather Elad-exclusive materials.
No backlash? Hardly.
"Uuu trash, step down."
"This is dictatorship!"
Crowds of elves protested outside the knight captain's office.
"You're right?"
"Eh?"
"Spot on."
"Heeeek."
The warm, laid-back Eliana was gone.
She cracked down hard on protests, diligently gathered materials, made money.
Reinvested into weapons, finally rode the steel tech wave like other races...
-Ting!
"Ugh, no way."
Blocked by a never-before-seen magical beast.
One made entirely of scrap metal.
While elves advanced, beasts got tougher, sturdier.
Bigger issue too.
-Kiiiiiek
"Heeeek!"
"Hueeek."
Some had megaphones or speakers on their faces for sound attacks.
Elves, clueless, approached too close and got wiped effortlessly.
"...This can't be."
Eliana climbed a tall tree, overlooking below, muttering.
Elf knights defeated pathetically.
Foes trickier, even their tree-climbing edge axed by tree-felling.
"We wanted to handle it ourselves."
Eliana paled.
Other elves too.
Could elves ever solve anything alone?
"If we'd asked Judak from the start..."
Under grand magic, even those beasts would've dropped easy.
Too late now.
Beasts took live elves hostage, aware of it.
Judak's grand magic? Elves swept up too.
"My reforms were a mistake..."
Eliana second-guessed herself.
Was relying on Judak like regular elves the real answer?
"Captain..."
Her vice-captain Melang watched her then.
Judak*: You? Got talent, keep it up.
Judak appeared in midair.
Eliana, not expecting surveillance, flinched in shock.
"Judak?"
As Eliana tilted her head.
Judak left a message instead.
Judak*: ↑
"Up...?"
Eliana looked skyward.
High, dizzyingly high, a tiny dot.
Even sharp elf eyes barely made it out.
Might be big up close, but distance too vast.
"What's that..."
Judak always solved problems in amazing ways.
But this time, impossible.
No, she thought so.
Hostages glued on, impossible to hit beasts without them.
-Pop.
The dot exploded.
"!"
Eliana and elves grabbed trees in haste.
Judak's grand magics from Elad invasion had huge fallout each.
Expected massive shockwave.
"...Huh?"
Time passed, no change.
No blast, no boom.
"D-Did it fail?"
A nearby elf asked cautiously.
Even a pebble ripples a lake.
With sky so eerily quiet, maybe it really failed—
-Zzzzt...
"Huh?"
Eliana glanced down at the unfamiliar noise.
Mouth agape.
Beasts crawling relentlessly suddenly spewed gray smoke, froze solid.
"Wh-Why're they doing that?"
Too bizarre.
Dot explodes, everything fine but beasts dead-stopped.
"How..."
Like a vivid dream.
Eliana muttered in bewilderment when—
-Zzzzt zzzt
"Huh?"
Among frozen beasts, something flickered on.
*
"It works."
Miniature EMP bomb.
Not as small as I'd hoped, but worth the price.
Detonated at high altitude, still fried circuits in all machines nearby.
"Or maybe already junk."
Dunno how they revived, but mechanical beasts weren't pristine.
Broken or rusted out.
Scrapyard-worthy ancient hulks.
Covered in scrap outside, but weak insides made 'em easy prey.
Full Elf: Judak Judak
Full Elf: (Noisy glitchy machine pic)
Full Elf: Found among dead beasts, keeps flickering
Full Elf: Looks important so I grabbed it, what's this?
Full Elf sent something.
Pic check: a cellphone.
"Whoa, been ages."
Saw 'em daily pre-possession, first time here.
System handles all gallery stuff, no need for phones.
"Useless anyway."
Straight-up no use.
With handy system, why bother with a phone?
Judak*: Whoa nostalgia lol
Judak*: But no need, toss it
About to tell Full Elf to ditch the junk.
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"Oh...?"