Chapter 154
Chapter 154
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 154
Chapter Title: How to Farm Well
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[Isekai Destruction Gallery Episode 154 (155/467)]
[Title: How to Farm Well...jpg]
Hey there, gallers.
As a master farmer, I'm here to teach you not just how to farm, but how to farm *well*.
1. Fertile soil
(Image of dark, rich soil in a vast field)
(Image of frequent rain)
Obviously, find fertile soil.
But what if where you live is barren?
Then you're pretty much fucked.
Don't worry, there's step 2.
2. Buy fertilizer from Judak's Market
(Image of sprinkling chemical fertilizer on a field)
Super easy to spread, right?
Surprisingly, that's all it takes.
It's fertilizer made with Lord Judak's great magic—sprinkle it on, and it handles 50%, no, 70% of the work.
Got either 1 or 2?
Then all you need is some rain.
But what if it's a barren place with no rain either?
(Frog laughing and punching image)
What are you hitting?
Get the fuck out if it's barren—no solutions lol.
That's all the pro tips I'm sharing.
[Likes 412] [Dislikes 2842]
- Holy shit
- This is just beating off
ㄴ Now you get it
ㄴ Poster) You've opened your eyes—come to Edelin
- Pro tip confirmed?
- Shouldn't we regulate the market fertilizer for assholes like this?
- Admin Black Stone, scam map bastard
Kelliarton City outskirts, Edelin region.
It was famous for its fertile soil back in the old Kelton Kingdom days.
After the Great War, the country went into total collapse and vanished.
But with Kelliarton established, a village sprang up again.
"Crops are duplicating."
The land already had great yields, but mixing in modern cheat-level chemical fertilizer broke through the ceiling.
Any seed you plant bears fruit.
Like a 2014 Bitcoin crop duplication glitch.
But if there's a massive pump, there's always a massive dump.
Suddenly, an abnormal drought hit.
- Huh, rain just stopped falling
- Legendary lol, no rain for 5 days
- For real lol, gotta screenshot this for memes
ㄴ Fuck off you crop-ruining wankers
But the Edelin locals didn't think much of it.
They even found the lack of rain novel and leisurely browsed the Gallery.
The sky was full of clouds, so rain could come anytime.
But after two weeks, that changed.
[Title: You fucking bastards, make it rain already]
(Image flipping off the clouds)
Clouds are thick as hell—why the fuck are they passing by for two weeks straight??
[Likes 381] [Dislikes 12]
- (Why should I? Elf con)
ㄴ Poster) Cute friend, won't you make it rain quick?
ㄴ (Why me? Elf smirk con)
ㄴ Poster) You fucking bastard
No rain.
Even with heavy clouds, they passed by.
Like ghosts, they only dumped rain after skirting Edelin.
- Don't get too hasty, Edelin folks
ㄴ ?
ㄴ This bastard thinks it's not his problem
ㄴ No, even in drought, rain always comes
"Yeah, that's true enough."
Rainfall drops sharply, but it does come.
But Edelin hadn't seen a drop for months.
So it was true.
- Ah lol, didn't know that
ㄴ Rain always comes, you bastard
ㄴ Get hasty right now
"Hmm... this is kinda weird?"
Clouds in the sky, but not a single drop?
Not normal weather.
So there was only one cause.
Excellent Doc: Great Employer discovers assholes hiding everywhere
"Gotcha, culprit!"
It was the rift.
The bizarre cold from the frontlines came from a rift too.
Some rifts try terraforming the surrounding area before waves hit.
And there was evidence backing it up.
zl Great Storm Explosion Mage: Tower Lord, I looked into the Edelin sky you mentioned
Judak*: Why am I your Tower Lord?
zl Great Storm Explosion Mage: Similar mana to what we've seen in rifts is hanging over the sky
zl Great Storm Explosion Mage: To dispel it, we'll probably need a weather mage of similar caliber
Judak*: OK OK thanks
zl Great Storm Explosion Mage: So our tower has one anytime now heh...
['Judak*' has left the room]
zl Great Storm Explosion Mage: Fuck
Magic was cast over the sky.
Specifically blocking rain just in Edelin.
No need to guess why.
"To cut off food supplies."
Rifts seem dumb, but they're calculated.
They first targeted major cities of each race.
When that failed, they went for outer granaries or wiping out fringe races.
Figured this was the same.
"Can't breach the Market anyway."
But beasts can't invade the Gallery.
Penny was the only one so far.
Or peeking into dying gallers' Galleries, but nothing more was allowed.
Meaning they can't stop me from uploading food to the Gallery.
So they're trying to block self-sufficiency.
"Terraforming? In your dreams."
Judak*: Proceed
Excellent Doc: Rift terraforming attempt? Came and went. Like the beasts' mom
Excellent Doc: (Rift tool-smashing image)
Excellent Doc: (Poison gas into rift image)
Now countermeasures existed.
- Wood crackle!
Gallery doctors in gas masks puffed poison gas, and the rifts withered like dried persimmons.
Over a dozen rifts found nearby.
Turned them all into persimmons in under a day.
"Do we really need to dispel the magic?"
Mages are rare.
Especially fringe ones like weather mages.
For magic that level, better to destroy the source, right?
"Should be solved now?"
Half proud, half expectant, I logged in to check Gallery reactions.
[Title: Water, water... I need water...]
(Image with mouth open, hands raised up)
Valhalla is in sight...!!!1!
Lord Judak is watching us!
[Title: No fuck my crops]
(Image of zombies dried up and dead between fields)
Did this die from sunlight?
Or did the plants suck the moisture out?
But can I still grow and eat crops like this?
[Likes 1291] [Dislikes 15]
- Evolved properly lol
- Judak*) Plants vs Zombies ㄷㄷ
ㄴ What the fuck is that
ㄴ Poster) Ooh Lord Judak... please put water in the Market...
ㄴ Lord Judak saw me!!!
"Huh."
Not only no rain—they were drying up and dying.
*
"Removing rifts alone doesn't cut it."
Drought still ongoing.
Thinking back, the affinity addict ground explosion mage said mana covered the whole sky.
Rifts gone doesn't mean the mana vanishes.
"Then we handle it directly..."
A weather mage to erase mana that scale?
No one grows those in apocalypse medieval.
"Then force the rain."
How humans control weather.
Artificial rain induction.
Using cloud seeds to make rain artificially.
Not super welcomed in modern times...
But better than rift mana terraforming.
"Problem is the price..."
No need to worry about planes or rockets to deliver seeds.
Gallery delivery handles it.
But price is the issue.
From what I know, minimum hundreds of thousands of points.
Manageable with points saved so far, but still a burden.
"Check the price first."
[Cloud Seeds 4,000㎡] - 5,000p
Core material for artificial rain induction.
Not a highly noted tech.
But usage spiked after frequent climate anomalies post-incident.
"Huh, why so cheap?"
Units a bit confusing, but 1 acre.
Said to be the area one ox covers in a day.
And above all, cheap.
Price I remember from old modern Gallery days wasn't like this.
"What's the 'incident' referring to?"
Explanation's odd, but decided not to overthink.
Price isn't bad, no transport worries.
"Time to go."
[Enter delivery location for item.]
Bought about 10 for 50,000 points.
Big loss, but not shaking-hand levels compared to before.
[Notice: Edelin IPs pay attention]
(Frog raising a glass image)
Look at the sky
[Likes 9999+] [Dislikes 12]
- Put a subject in your sentences please
- Now they mass dislike anything without full sentences?
- Looking, what's changed?
ㄴ Oh?
ㄴ Oh my god!!!!!
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Fuck tell us together
ㄴ Post a curiosity image you bastard
I posted a notice and grabbed a cola can.
Through the Gallery doctor's view...
Excellent Doc: (Rain pouring from sky image)
Excellent Doc: How did it execute? Replaced by my shock emotion
"This is it."
Pleasant rain sounds filled the cracked dry ground.
*
Already two months.
No rain, not even a drop, for two whole months.
What started as a laugh-off became an undeniable disaster.
"Praying that hard didn't work..."
Prayed to village gods for days, tried every trick.
Useless.
Without the Market, would've abandoned the village or died of thirst long ago.
But Lord Judak learned of it just days ago, and the problem solved.
-Shooooah
Rain started pouring from the sky.
Villagers stumbled out like entranced, reaching hands to feel the rain.
Watching the scene, the man felt the rain running down his body and muttered softly.
"Just a normal human..."
Seen kings and emperors call themselves gods,
But a human-like Judak freely controlling weather? First time.
As worship bloomed in the man's heart,
-Kieeeek!
A pained, eerie scream rang out.
The man, dazedly staring at the sky, turned toward the scream's source on the ground.
Beasts were crawling out, flailing from the water-soaked earth.