Chapter 143
Chapter 143
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 143
Chapter Title: The Elves' Forbidden Gourmet Slime
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“Hold on.”
In front of the entrance to some basement.
The blonde elf blocking the door glared at the visitor before slowly opening her mouth.
“What’s your purpose?”
“For fine dining.”
“Elves are...”
“Pretty, cute, and all that.”
After confirming the passphrase a few times, the elf gatekeeper stepped aside and bowed her head.
Gonic, elves are pretty cute and all.
She was the leader of this secret gathering.
Stepping inside revealed a bright eladrin glow contrasting with a gloomy, dark space.
In the center sat a lone square table.
“Is everyone here?”
As she entered, the elves already gathered perked up their ears and looked up.
There were dozens of them.
The reason they’d gathered here was simple.
Gluttony and forbidden cuisine.
To secretly devour dishes meant for Judak.
“Ah, Lady Elyegui...”
“So, this time too...”
As the assembled elves cautiously spoke up, Elyegui beckoned with her hand.
Elves promptly emerged from within, carrying dishes.
“Aah!”
The mere sight elicited gasps of awe.
It was a cube dish made from a monster dubbed the “gourmet slime.”
Literally just slime sliced into cubes and plated.
The reason elves hid and gathered like this for mere slime cubes was...
“Corn syrup, minced garlic, ketchup, sugar, gochujang, and so on. It’s slime raised on that feed.”
“Uwaaah...”
“And of course, it was aged in dew at the end, so no worries about the recipe.”
...in the slime’s preparation method.
What was a slime, anyway?
Just a pathetic little monster.
But gourmet slime was different.
Gourmet slime’s flavor and texture changed based on what it ate over a week.
“The feed is all market-bought, right?”
“Of course.”
In other words, the fancier the spices fed to it, the better the taste and texture.
For fine dining, the elves hadn’t just raised monsters for a week.
They’d used market food as feed for that week.
“Before we eat, as you all know, this must stay secret from everyone.”
The gallery had an unwritten rule.
Don’t waste or discard market food carelessly.
In short, they’d hoarded the market foods Judak had graciously created and shared for the gallery...
...and invested them long-term into monsters for one gourmet meal.
“If this ever got out...”
One elf asked tensely.
“Permanent gallery ban.”
“!!!”
“Heeek.”
Worse than death: a permanent gallery ban.
Yet the elves merely twitched their ears, staying seated.
The dish’s flavor was that transcendent.
“Then...”
A green-haired elf said, eyes gleaming with greed and excitement, ears quivering.
Elyegui nodded.
“Let’s eat.”
At those words, everyone draped white cloths over their heads.
Hoping Judak never found out.
Or to ease the guilt of feeding his food for hungry gallery users to monsters.
Just as they slowly lifted sliced slime to their mouths.
Judak*: lol
Judak*: What’re y’all doing?
“Uh...?”
An unfamiliar message suddenly appeared before their eyes.
“Keep eating and move no matter what.”
In front of the dazed Elyegui stood a full-plate elf—disguised infiltrator—with sword drawn.
*
“So this is the gourmet slime?”
We’d successfully raided the elves’ secret gathering.
What we got were the dishes they’d hidden from my eyes...
...but hearing and seeing the recipe left me dumbfounded.
“Isn’t it just feeding it spices and eating it tasty?”
They’d raised it on market food as feed, then eaten the big, tasty slime. That was it.
I thought the white cloths over their heads meant something like ortolan.
Ortolan was a dish where you gouge out a small bird’s eyes, force-feed it fat, and drown it in liquor.
So barbaric it was legally banned, but this? No issue.
“They’d faint seeing modern livestock methods.”
To me, it seemed fine.
But the gallery thought differently.
[Title: Chilling Dish Elves Ate in Secret.jpg]
(Raised gourmet slime image)
(Feeding it market spices and food image)
(Eating with white cloth over face image)
...
(Shocked frog emoticon)
(Frog emoticon charging in rage with knife)
No wonder the elf bastards were quiet—what the hell are they doing with Judak Market food?????
[Recommendations 6942] [Dislikes 102]
- Wow, that’s straight-up disgusting lol
- Wow...
- Was grinding for pepper, lamented it selling out, but wtf slime?
ㄴ Nah, just burst out laughing the moment I saw it
To starving medieval folk, recipe cruelty was irrelevant.
Just months ago, they’d kill for moldy bread.
Seeing precious market food hoarded and fed to slime enraged them.
- There’s a line to pranks lol
- Fucking around with market food
- Greed knows no bounds. Respect
“Is it that bad?”
I was the flustered one.
It could turn into interspecies conflict, so I posted a notice.
[Notice: Whoa whoa, calm down]
Author: Judak*
(Cat staring straight ahead image)
Just fed the slime to make it tasty, right? That’s all.
Why so mad? (Genuine)
[Recommendations 9999+] [Dislikes 201]
- Ah lol
- Calming us down, wanna get calmed?
- Came to curse them out, but it’s Judak posting lol
ㄴ Gotta hold back lol
ㄴ Who even is it lol
- Lord Judak ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
- Ah ㅠㅠㅠ Sorry ㅠㅠ
- ㅠㅠㅠ Thanks so much ㅠㅠ
ㄴ Ugh, just reading about those elf bitches pisses me off
My maximally intellectual, modern notice had no effect.
Most shocking: even the elves thought they were wrong.
“Elves... apologizing?”
Proud elves apologizing.
Market food meant more than just eating to gallery users.
- But why’s Judak chill af?
- Fr, I’m fucking furious watching this
- Lord Judak don’t hold back, even a sage would slap them
[Title: Why Judak Was Chill...jpg]
(Dawn elf lewds 1)
(Judak commenting on elf lewds 2)
(High-defense armored elf selfie)
Cuz of elf lewds ㅇㅇ
[Recommendations 12] [Dislikes 102]
- Makes no sense?
- Fr lol, just thinking of what they did boils my blood
- What’s a great beauty mage like Judak lacking to view elf lewds?
- But I’m horny tho?
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Quick with fave food
ㄴ That’s me, pleb
ㄴ Pleb-pilled
They assumed I was suppressing rage and invented reasons.
In short: I forgave, they didn’t.
- Ah lol, angrier the more I think
- Realizing I missed pepper cuz of elves, hands shaking, can’t sleep...
- Give back my cola ffs
The fire wasn’t dying; it was spreading.
Tearing eyes from gallery, I eyed the gourmet slime cube from the full-plate elf.
[Gourmet Slime Cube]
Gourmet slime raised on 4 tbsp corn syrup, 2 tbsp ketchup, 1 tbsp gochujang, 2 tbsp sugar... etc.
Finally soaked in Soju, then deep-fried cube dish.
Tastes like well-fried seasoned chicken.
“Is this supposed to be that good?”
Food elves hid to eat.
-Crunch!
I speared and bit one with a fork.
Wondering if it was really that great.
“...?”
No clue what flavor.
Took another bite.
Still no “whoa, insanely good, can’t stop!”
“Just okay?”
Literally just okay.
Tasty, but not worth the hassle.
Plus, a familiar taste I’d had before.
Rereading the system desc slowly, it hit me.
“This is seasoned chicken sauce ingredients.”
Subtle red hue, crispy texture.
Just a low-end modern seasoned chicken.
“They caused all that for this?”
Even less sense.
I’d dropped chicken already.
Obviously seasoned chicken too, once.
“Ah.”
Then it clicked.
“All cooking stuff was meal kits, right?”
My chicken drops, pizza, other foods—all meal kits.
Like army PX ones.
Sure, they taste fine.
I’d eaten countless.
“But can’t compare to fresh from a chicken joint.”
This 2% lacking slime cube...
...was elves who knew meal kit taste wandering, creating it.
Never had real seasoned chicken, so settled for this.
“Hmm...”
Till now, gallery-grind food.
Gaming snacks, simple meal kits for browsing.
This was a fresh shock.
“Wanna feed it to them once.”
Meal kits vary wildly by cook.
Wanted to show hot, fresh seasoned chicken from a pro shop.
But how?
Never sold such items.
[Level Up! 10 → 11]
[Post-level 10, choose level-up rewards!]
[Choose reward.]
1. Shop item upgrade
2. Real-life gallery PvP arena unlock
“Oh.”
I’d steadily gained exp from candy.
Perfect timing: level up with new system. Not impossible.
*
- Galers hoping elves die: upvote lol
- No bottom line for these fucks
- If I were Judak, perma-ban all
“Urgh...”
Gonic Elyegui.
She slumped, ears dragging on the floor.
Not just cuz gallery users cursed and pointed at her.
“...Wanna eat slime cube.”
Her life’s food: once-dropped market seasoned chicken meal kit.
Now couldn’t eat the slime cube mimicking it max.
“Make and eat secretly?”
Tried thinking it, but impossible.
Eladrin now directly monitored her upon learning.
Fearing Judak’s ire, elves self-policed.
“Heeek.”
Finally, seasoned chicken withdrawal hit; she collapsed.
Like a fish out of water, flopping on bed forever.
[Market Subsystem Open!]
[‘Market/Marketplace Nation’—show some love.]
“Marketplace Nation...?”
New alert; Elyegui looked up.
Market now had gacha-like sub-system.
No clue what, but drawn in like magic.
[Welcome to ‘Marketplace Nation’!]
[Pay to request custom menu items for Lord Judak!]
[If Judak approves, delivered to home!]
“Eh?”
Request to Judak, and he okays delivery?
“What’s on menu... gasp.”
Tilted head, entered menu.
1. Yangnyeom Chicken
“Y-Yangnyeom Chicken!!!!!”
Soul food: yangnyeom chicken, rarely sold at market.
“Order now!!! ”
Recalling cold meal kit taste, she requested instantly.
[Lord Judak approved!]
[Delivery complete!]
Seconds later, square paper box dropped from air.
“Elkkiiiyahoo!”
Box small enough for two hands.
“Not a meal kit?”
But inside: steaming, fully cooked chicken.
Bewildered by difference, but entranced by look and color, bit into drumstick.
“...!!!!!”
Elyegui’s ears shot straight up.