Chapter 134
Chapter 134
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 134
Chapter Title: The Elves' Soju Crisis
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[Title: I... I can't breathe...]
Author: Elves Are Pretty Cute and Everything
My head suddenly hurts and my chest feels tight...
All the strength is draining from my body...
I can't even twitch a finger, what do I do??? ㅠㅠ
[Likes 1021] [Dislikes 0]
- How do you do x / What do you do o
- Just pick up the elf and...
- Ma!!!Tri!!!Arch!!!
Elves were suddenly showing strange symptoms.
Dizziness or nausea at first.
In severe cases, it was leading to fainting.
"Some rift exploded or something?"
The first thing that came to mind with those symptoms was a rift.
They basically caused headaches, and there wasn't much else that could affect the outside.
But it wasn't a rift.
Pure Elf: No idea.
Pure Elf: I don't have any of those symptoms.
"Hmm..."
If it had happened to all elves, Pure Elf would have been affected too.
But the partial symptoms showed it wasn't due to a rift.
And usually, when an entire race showed weird symptoms like this, people would worry...
- So what?
- What are we supposed to do lol
- (-El- Conehead)
- That's pretty weird huh
ㄴ Yeah. What do they even have in their heads to hurt?
ㄴ Isn't it because they chug booze all day?
Maybe it's all the karma catching up.
No one was worried.
[Title: Eladrin Update.jpg]
(Cemetery meme)
lol
[Likes 102] [Dislikes 52]
- Mega like lol
- Holy shit these crazy bastards lololol
- Don't pick fights, my head hurts -_-
ㄴ Whoa look at this
ㄴ Don't talk to me human scum
ㄴ (Black-and-white flashing magic GIF)
ㄴ Heeeek
They were busy turning it into a festival and mocking them.
There wasn't even a World Tree.
The elves' destination, with no help anywhere else, was one place.
- Lord Judak ㅠㅠ help us ㅠㅠ
- Sisters and brothers, save us!!!
- Lord Judak help!!! Help!!!
They were calling for me, who had been lurking.
At times like this, the elves' chat firepower ramped up.
Where was their usual eagle typing? The latest posts were flooded with pleas for me.
- Ah fuck calling for Judak again
- It's always Judak this Judak that
- Let Judak browse the gallery in peace
Other races naturally didn't look kindly on them running straight to me when trouble hit.
But I happened to be curious too.
"Why are only the elves like this?"
Summing up the elves' symptoms, it seemed like mana depletion.
When the World Tree vanished and mana plummeted, elves who used it like usual were exactly like this.
But unlike then, weren't they barely using mana these days to conserve it?
And I found the cause quicker than expected.
"Found the culprit."
The source of the elves' symptoms was none other than themselves.
[Title: It's Me]
Author: Judak*
['Elves Are Pretty Cute and Everything' post list]
[n hours ago / My, my head feels like it's gonna explode!]
[4 hours ago / Friends mean booze after all]
[3 hours ago / My, my head feels like it's gonna explode!!]
[2 hours ago / Drink up, pour it down~!]
.
.
[1 hour ago / My, my heeead!!!]
What the fuck is super and hangover?
Head hurts but why keep drinking?
[Likes 9999+] [Dislikes 52]
- What the fu lololol
- But what's super and hangover?
- So they've been chugging booze nonstop and now complaining about headaches?
"Outrageous."
The reason the elves were suddenly complaining of pain was all the booze.
Mana normally cleared hangovers and booze sickness, but they didn't even have mana left for that.
Keep drinking in that state, and of course hangovers hit.
Drink more in that state, repeat.
In fact, every night the gallery got overrun by elves' emo posts.
- Night sky and me, and sweet booze ^^
- Life is... like a really bitter apple...
- What is an elf? What is life, what is this world...
- Ugh fuck elves
- Go to sleep already please
- These assholes really piss me off every damn dawn
Even humans who loved booze were shaking their heads at these alcoholics.
Elves don't mess with beer.
Only soju, absolutely soju.
Doesn't matter if the proof isn't high; chug it like water and it's different.
"So yeah, conclusion: it's the booze."
No wonder soju sold out fastest and most at the market.
Register it and it flies off the shelves—especially soju. Now I knew why.
It was fine with the World Tree, but now without it, they needed moderation.
- Um... Lord Judak? ^^
- The headache thing was a lie!
- Actually we don't think we need your help much haha...
The elves realized too late they'd dug their own grave and started posting that they were fine.
But by the time you realize, it's always too late.
[Market liquor section closing.]
[Locked region IP – Eladrin]
- Elfffffiaaaaak!
- Nooooo!!!
- lololol serves you right so much
- Gallery back to normal!!!
For the elves' health and survival, I banned liquor from the market.
*
Sometimes you gotta go hard.
Like the elves' prohibition.
- I, I'm really gonna die!
- Lord Judak unban sojuuuu!!!
- I'm going crazy I'm going crazy I'm going crazy mom
A week into the soju ban, elves started going berserk.
"But I expected this much."
Flooding the gallery with posts?
That was mild.
"Not some one-two-day thing."
More than anything, it was a survival issue.
Elves without a World Tree needed to cut back on booze.
One serious wave hits and they'd drop like flies.
- Judak*) How about 1 bottle per person per day?
ㄴ You think that makes sense?
ㄴ 1 bottle?? Oooone booooottle???
ㄴ Can Lord Judak survive on 360ml of water a day!!!
Elves had reached the point of drinking booze instead of water.
If they couldn't control themselves, I'd have to do it.
"They won't actually die without drinking, right?"
It was all about endurance.
I figured that and went full hardline.
[Title: Wtf are these guys?]
(Elves spotted at Adrian border pic)
(Worn-out elves sneaking around Adrian outpost pic)
Thought I was seeing things but it was really elves
Scared shitless thinking war, nocked arrows but no reaction
Sneak closer eyeing us then suddenly soju appears in their hand?
These bastards didn't come all the way here to buy soju with Adrian IP did they?
[Likes 4921] [Dislikes 0]
- ?????
- Holy fuck unbelievable lololol
- This real?
- Elves usually dislike even if we trash them but too drunk on booze to even dislike
[Title: Found Elf in the Warehouse]
(Cat-like elf dangling while chugging soju pic)
Yeah;
[Likes 102] [Dislikes 0]
- Why this real?
- What, uh what's that?
- Beefed up security to keep elves out so they snuck in and hid in the warehouse;
"No way they're insane?"
But the elves' soju love was worse than I thought.
They crossed borders into human society to buy soju.
Elven society was pretty insular.
Given the outside, the inside was obviously chaos.
[Title: Lord Judak... Please...]
(Empty streets of Eladrin city pic)
(Elves turned street hobos with no will to live pic)
(Elf with ears pulled hard but no reaction pic)
Elves are dying...
Please... don't take away our happiness... ㅠㅠ
[Likes 5740] [Dislikes 54]
- Wow lol;
- I like booze too but this is...
- Soul sucked out? No light in their eyes
Elves had lost the will to live.
I wondered if they were faking to get soju unbanned, but Pure Elf proved it wasn't.
Pure Elf: Judak, situation is serious right now
Pure Elf: (Picking up and dropping elf pic)
Pure Elf: (Yanking or squishing ears pic)
Pure Elf: Elves would hate this normally but zero reaction
Judak*: No way soju's that bad?
Pure Elf: There's even elves praying to Judak statue for soju right now
That's when I realized.
Elves didn't just like soju.
Elves are soju.
For long-lived elves, soju had become an essential joy and pastime.
"I surrender."
Without unban, they'd die first.
If they'd threatened or something, maybe, but seeing them shrivel up was pitifully weird.
[Notice: Soju Notice ㅇㅇ]
So I posted a notice.
Incredibly, views hit 10k in under a minute and climbed to 100k.
- All elves were just waiting for this?
- Views climbing speed wtf lol
- Truly a booze-crazed race
[Notice: Soju Notice ㅇㅇ]
Author: Judak*
I surrender ㅇㅇ;
Never imagined crossing borders and jail for one soju
Will limit to 3 bottles per day but lifting Eladrin IP ban for now
[Likes 4921] [Dislikes 0]
- Kyaaaa love you!
- Finally my time starts ticking again
- (I'm an elf! Head cone)
ㄴ (I'm an elf! Upper body cone)
ㄴ (I'm an elf! Lower body cone)
ㄴ (Spare them this once... Knight cone)
In exchange, limited to 3 bottles a day.
I figured no more collapsing like before, but the problem remained.
Mana still got depleted detoxing booze.
"What about mana stones?"
Thought of mana stones first but shook my head.
Not enough mana stones, and downsides outweighed upsides.
"No extra World Tree either."
World Tree? Puberty phase right now.
Getting VIP treatment from dark elves, realizing its value.
Ironically, the one loving this mess most was the World Tree.
Pondering what to do—
-Boom!
"Huh?"
The bunker shook.
Startled by the sudden impact, I checked the gallery. A post with a wild title was up.
[Title: Gold Dragon Graffiti]
(Magic tower top floor gold dragon pic)
Took about an hour?
For real?
[Likes 3499] [Dislikes 1021]
- How's this graffiti? Draws insanely well
- Look at that clarity insane
- Tribal godlike like
ㄴ ?? Wait
ㄴ This is real holy shit
ㄴ Poster) lol
Yongyong Will Die's spot at magic tower top floor.
Another dragon had appeared there.