Chapter 194
Chapter 194
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Translator: Ryuma
Chapter: 194
Chapter Title: Epilogue: The Distance of Hearts
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Emergency.
I'm dying from severe skinship withdrawal syndrome. This condition hits when you've been indulging in excessive physical contact and then the supply suddenly gets cut off.
The main symptoms are anxiety, restlessness, and over-the-top fussing.
Why did the supply get cut off?
"...I'm not playing with you."
"Gasp."
"I was super worried and really sad, but you were just fooling around with Yuri inside like a total idiot, so I'm not playing with you!!"
"Whaaaa."
It's because the head of our primary supplier, Violet Magic Tower's President Yu, declared a trading halt over a minor misunderstanding. But I feel a bit wronged.
We fought like hell in there—sure, there was a little fooling around, but is it really worth getting this upset and angry over?
Plus, I explained that Yuri's feelings for me had turned into scorched radish roots due to certain circumstances. I even demonstrated it right in front of her.
"See, Tower Master? When I try to hold Yuri's hand like this."
"......"
Shhff.
Yuri slipped away smoothly like a ballerina. Now, I couldn't even touch her hand anymore...
I need to slowly close the distance again. But since we've always advanced at such an intense pace with our skinship, I can't gauge a normal speed anymore.
Thinking back, we smashed our lips together on our first meeting—maybe start from there again this time?
No way.
But even before hand-holding, nothing else comes to mind... As I sat there with a gloomy expression lost in those thoughts, Yuna puffed out her cheeks like she was about to die of genuine grievance.
"Get out──!!"
She chased me away swinging her Yuna Punches (the kind loaded with mana that actually hurt).
What the hell set her off?
Is it really that heartbreaking that Yuri's distancing herself from me...?
In this situation, it's been two whole weeks since I've had skinship with anyone.
We used to cling together like family, hugging and rubbing skin in every way imaginable, and now it's all vanished like a lie—I'm going through withdrawal so bad I feel like I'm dying. Warmth, where's the warmth...?
I'm walking through winter right now...
I need someone to ask for advice. I can't think of a way out of this mess on my own, so I should consult a romance expert.
I trudged through the academy.
They say if three people walk together, one must be your teacher—so in this vast academy teeming with all sorts of characters, there had to be at least one romance pro, right?
Then I ran into the one-eyed Viking.
"Sardine! Haven't seen your face lately, but finally we meet. Alejandro and I are grabbing drinks at the tavern tonight—wanna join?"
I swear, asking him for advice would be less useful than a one-day druid experience. I'd be better off asking the nearby bushes how to seduce a woman.
The rustling leaves would give more productive advice than that loner.
"Disqualified."
"???"
Alekson gave me a look like I was crazy at my rejection, but then remembered I've always been a bit off and nodded.
He debated whether to smack my head as he passed or explain a bit more out of bro code among the male faculty. True to his tight-knit friendship style, he chose the latter.
"They remade the waitress outfits at the Larkspur Tavern this time, incorporating advanced Crown Hall fashion. That's what we're going to check out."
"Then I'll... pass."
The memory of vowing to go to a tavern with short-skirt waitresses with Yuri flashed by, plunging my mood into sudden gloom. If we were still close, we could've gone to see the new outfits together...
Seeing my face, Alekson asked worriedly.
"Your expression's completely rotten. What's up?"
"Romance problems."
"Ah, so that's why disqualified... You bastard."
Whack.
I got smacked after all.
On the way, I ran into Crimson Tower Girl. When I stared at her intently, Selbia crossed her arms and drew a firm line.
"I'm not doing your laundry, Professor."
"That's fine, but..."
Selbia has potential as an advisor. Didn't she calm my panic last time? So maybe this time too...?
But her view on romance is built on dreams and sugar—way too naive.
She's at this age still waiting for a fairy-tale prince childhood friend. Meaning she's never actually dated. But she might know about girls' hearts... Nah, I might know that better myself.
As I pondered staring at her, she stared back at my face with a puzzled look and suddenly asked.
"...Professor, did you put on makeup?"
"? Why, you trying to seduce me?"
"Ow, crap...! No, I was just asking. Your face looks kinda fresh and dewy today."
"Can't you see this face stained with sorrow and pain, you heartless Selbia...!!"
I've noticed it since I switched your lectures to Cthulhu. How can anyone look at my obviously gloomy face and say that?
Maybe she has a little demon inside her too. The type that laughs when people are sad.
...Huh.
Speaking of demons, it hit me—I wasn't getting any bad ideas.
More precisely, it felt like my inner angel was suppressing the devil a bit. Like it was holding back.
I asked just in case.
"You haven't molted yet, right?"
"You teasing me?"
"Yeah, if you had, you'd have challenged that Azure Tower thorn to a duel. So it's not a mental stability molt..."
"Don't mention Snow White in front of me!"
So it's not Selbia—it's something happening inside me. Did I have some connection with her? Well, obviously.
We're from the same hometown village. I just don't remember.
The past...
If I've steeled myself to face the uninvited guests in my mind, I need to dig into my past too. How else would something so weird get lodged in my head?
"Selbia, let's check faces later."
"...No thanks."
I backed off from Selbia, promising next time.
Because right now, the priority isn't digging up my past—it's closing the emotional gap with those two.
In the end, I couldn't find any solid advisor.
Asking grad student candidate Luna just got me a curt "Maintain the status quo."
When I tried asking the White Lotus Princess passing by, her followers told me to scram, so I did.
The White Lotus Princess is, of course, a romance master who knows all the answers to life's mysteries, but her followers insisted you shouldn't ask such things of a pure virgin with no dating experience.
"...Please, everyone. Please stop..."
"Don't worry, Princess—we can keep this up all day!"
"Evil professor, begone! Begone!"
The White Lotus Princess looked impressive, flustered by the endless blind upvoting.
It was nice seeing a faction bond so tightly, but treating me like a walking plague sparked my competitive spirit a bit.
So I tossed out a matchup: "Make the White Lotus Princess live single forever VS Find her a so-so husband she'll understand" and bounced.
The sound of her followers splitting and fighting echoed across the academy.
Then.
As I slumped on an academy bench staring blankly at the sky, night's curtain slowly fell, and stars hidden by daylight began peeking out one by one.
"Oh!"
Stars.
Come to think of it, I know one guy who could give clear advice on this—a man living a happy life boldly straddling two legs: Bennett!
Bennett's not at the academy, but I can write him a letter. We share a session bond, so if I pour my heart into it, he'll reply thoughtfully.
I scribbled the letter right there.
Starting with flattery like "Greetings, world-saving hero..."
Then into the main topic... Hmm, straight talk won't cut it. Gotta pay a consultation fee. I feel close to Bennett inwardly, but he might not.
Finding his sister's body was a session reward, so I don't want to touch that. I know it'd be efficient leverage, but it's protected by the sacred TRPG oath.
So what can I offer? First off, to ease his worries.
I included that we took down the "Pleasure-Drinking Succubus." Since we beheaded that massive named dark mage, we can handle the "Fear-Eating Corpse Flower" too. So relax.
That's the vibe I wanted.
Then the main issue: I've got this situation—how do I recover the relationship? How are Niolea and Tara? Teach me romance...
No.
"Too raw."
Even with my thick-skin module, this is embarrassing. Asking a young guy for romance advice feels pathetic on reflection.
This body's age is probably younger than Bennett's, but including my past life, I'm around 50. Elder's pride and all. Phrase it indirectly.
Sealed it up nicely and handed it to a postal service-like government office.
"...Crazy wizard, the Defense Bureau isn't a merchant guild."
"It's super important personally, please, Kirby."
"You saved Yuri, so just this once..."
Good. Now just wait.
Bennett, show me the path back—guide me to redemption...!
Finishing work, I sneaked back to the lab, but the door was firmly shut.
I carefully gripped the knob, turned it slowly to avoid noise, and eased the door open. But the rusty hinges ignored my gentleness and screamed mercilessly.
Screeeeech!
Pingbalrez and Yuna, stuck together inside, both turned to look at me. Pingbalrez sat on the sofa with Yuna on her lap in the classic embrace pose.
Pingbalrez averted her gaze upon eye contact, while Yuna shot me death glares.
It stung that I couldn't wedge in between them. It had to be soft and warm in there.
Right—her affection for me burned out, but Pingbalrez and Yuna's relationship is fine. Wait, does that make Yuna a rival...?
As I flailed in confusion, Pingbalrez threw me a lifeline.
"...We talked it over a bit. So, the Tower Master is feeling anxious. She sensed a crisis, it seems."
"What...?"
"......"
Pingbalrez turned her doll-like blank face even further away. Her gaze fixed far off on the wallpaper pattern, not sparing me a glance.
Seeing that, it clicked. I snapped my fingers triumphantly.
"Ah, you're worried Pingbalrez and I might drift apart after our big fight...? Don't worry, Tower Master—I'll get close to Pingbalrez quick."
"No, you idiot──!!"
"??"
The puzzle wouldn't fit. Usually, that means one piece is wrong. There's a culprit here. One piece is malicious misinformation.
Who is it—the liar clouding my judgment...?
Pingbalrez's affection burned out, distancing us—that's an undeniable fact. Evidence is solid. Two weeks, and I haven't even brushed her fingertip.
Even those constant subtle sexy jabs evaporated. I haven't heard a single fragment!
So is the Tower Master's anger a lie? But Yuna can't hide her feelings...
Then Yuna's finishing blow landed.
"I, I hate you so much!"
"......!!"
"Hic."
Yuna blurted the shocking words, then covered her mouth in her own surprise, starting to hiccup.
If I'd stayed calmer, I'd have noticed her reaction looked like she couldn't control herself—and that it wasn't her true feelings.
But I had no such luxury then. So.
I stiffened like a thunderstruck rabbit and toppled sideways. As my consciousness faded, their voices echoed distantly.
"H-Hwah! A-Are you okay?!"
"That was too much, Tower Master. Even if he's been dense..."
"No, it's not that, there's circumstances... Wait, Yuri—him?!"
"...A slip of the tongue. For now, get him to the bed."
And so I passed out.