Chapter 3
Chapter 3
To put it nicely, I'd describe her as being light as a feather, but the girl's condition was more like nothing but bones.
"Who would deliberately starve her?"
I muttered without thinking, just blurting out whatever came to mind without any intention.
The girl's index finger, which I was holding, trembled slightly.
...For real?
"What kind of son of a bitch would do something that insane?"
I'm trash too, but I couldn't even imagine deliberately starving such a fragile, delicate little girl.
Could such a garbage human being really exist in this world?
"Son of a bitch?"
"...Yeah, son of a bitch. That kind of thing exists."
Sswaaaa, Sswaaaa.
Putting aside whether she's my daughter now or not, the fact that such a young girl had been going around starving was infuriating.
I've been getting irritated for no reason since earlier.
"Hey, from now on, even if you suffer from being too full, don't suffer from being hungry. Got it?"
Flinch, flinch.
"...Ah, arajjyeo."
"Good, that's enough. If you're hungry, even if you have to grab my cheek and yank it, wake me up. Got it?"
At my words, the girl completely forgot the pain in her finger and blankly lifted her head to look at me.
As if asking, "Is that really okay? For real?"
...Annoyed and embarrassed by that gaze, I spoke.
"For real, realda."
Then the girl's eyes seemed to grow 1.5 times larger, and she answered with a slightly stronger voice.
"Eung!"
"Good, now you look a bit better."
"My finger doesn't hurt much..."
"Don't lie. Even adults get bothered by burns all day long. A kid picking up bad habits so early..."
"...Really doesn't hurt."
"Yeah, yeah."
I nodded vaguely, then looked at the red ramen broth swamp spreading wider and wider on the floor.
"..."
Then I alternated my gaze to the girl, who was still held in my arms, just tilting her head blankly.
"Apology."
"Apple?"
"You kidding me?"
Rather than wanting to receive an apology from such a young child... it seemed like the natural thing to do.
After all, that's how I was raised by my parents.
"Ah... so that's what it is."
I felt like I understood why children are called mirrors of adults.
They were blank sheets of paper.
Without parents teaching them everything from A to Z, they knew nothing.
"When you spill food I went out of my way to make for you—"
"Eung."
"At times like that, you do something called an apology, ahem."
Saying something like this made me so embarrassed that goosebumps rose on my arms. Thinking about it, I realized I'd forgotten what an apology was at some point.
When I worked at the bar and accidentally spilled a drink, or when I bumped into some guy worse than me, I'd get mad instead.
「Ha, that once-great Kim Hyun-woo, after becoming impotent, went straight to rock bottom, huh?」
Looking back now, it made sense that I was insulted with words like that.
It was all seeds I had sown myself.
"I should have started with an apology too... before getting angry."
I only meant to teach the child, but I ended up realizing my own mistakes.
"What's an apology?"
"That is..."
I slowly set the girl down on the floor and said.
"It's saying 'I'm sorry, I was wrong'..."
"Mian, jamothaessyeoyo."
Watching the girl perform the act I taught her with a lisp, I chuckled softly and kindly accepted her apology.
"Right, then usually the other person says 'It's okay, it's okay' and forgives you."
"Okay?"
"Of course it's okay. How many people go through life without ever making a single mistake? Getting all red-faced and angry over spilling just one cup of ramen is something even a kid wouldn't—"
...Ah, that was me too.
Back in high school during night study, I was secretly eating cheese ramen behind the teacher's back, and a classmate accidentally hit it with their elbow while pulling a workbook out of their locker.
"Ha, this is getting embarrassing for no reason."
Gurururuk, gurururuk.
Thankfully.
The girl kept drawing my gaze and attention so I wouldn't flounder in my embarrassment.
"You don't know how to use chopsticks, do you?"
"What's that?"
"For now, it'll be faster if I feed you. If I wait any longer, the ramen will double in size."
I realized that taking care of a child really required a lot of effort.
My parents must have felt this way too.
They probably kept feeling this way until the day I graduated high school and ran away from home.
"No, they might still be feeling it now..."
...Come to think of it, I hadn't even visited them during the holidays either.
I thought I was doing fine on my own, that I didn't need to see the faces of that shabby family.
"If Hyunu apologizes too, won't that be okay?"
"Yeah, that's where it starts."
It was a weight incomparable to spilling a cup of ramen like this, so I don't know if they'll forgive me, but the girl's words gave me a small bit of courage.
Even if I get beaten until my bones break with a broom, I have to visit them this time.
"Hey, sit here."
To make feeding easier, I sat the girl inside my crossed legs.
"Arajjyeo..."
Unlike before, the girl was obediently listening to me. Seeing that made me feel oddly proud and a little touched.
In a way, ever since my life went to hell, with my pride and self-esteem hitting rock bottom, maybe I had been feeling lonely too.
I just wanted someone—anyone—to be by my side, so I ended up looking for my mother.
"Hoo, hoo..."
I lifted a large bundle of ramen with my chopsticks as usual, then realized it was too much for this tiny girl to eat, so I halved it and blew on it to cool it down.
"Hot things are eaten cooled down."
"Arajjyeo..."
Is that the only thing she knows how to say?
No.
It means that's all she knows.
"Should be cool enough now. Eat."
"..."
"You can eat. It's okay. It's edible. I've never met a human being who says ramen is tasteless in my entire life."
I've even met women who were chairwomen of major corporations, and among them was one who said hangover food was still ramen and dragged me to the neighborhood tear-gas ramen shop.
"Omnomnom."
Gaining confidence from my words, the girl carefully opened her mouth and slurped the ramen.
"Ha, you don't even know how to eat ramen?"
Do I have to teach this too?
As I muttered as if to imply that, the girl flinched, shuddered, then looked up at me with discontented eyes.
"Eojju?"
"Eodyo!"
So you teach me and then complain?
This cheeky little brat.
"This is how you eat it. Like this. Huuuuuuurururururururup!"
"!"
When I reproduced the noodle-slurping technique I'd seen countless times in mukbangs on Nutube, and then some, the girl's eyes widened again and sparkled brilliantly.
"Snort, cough, cough!"
"Puhahahahaha, puhaha! Puhehehe, puheit!"
"Don't, don't laugh!"
"Ah, fuck that's hilarious, seriously..."
"F-fuck! D-don't laugh!"
...Uh.
"What did you just say?"
"Fuck! Son of a bitch!"
Oh my god!
Startled, I almost dropped the ramen I was holding onto the floor just like the girl had.
No, seriously.
Come to think of it, children are mirrors and sponges of adults.
But just how much had I cursed in front of her?
"..."
Had she already learned that?
And out of all things, such vulgar profanity?
"Uh, uh, that's a forbidden word. Okay?"
"It sticks! Sticks right to my mouth! Fuck, son of a bitch!"
"I said it's a forbidden word!"
I tried to warn her and correct her habit, but hilariously, things like that are always the hardest to fix.
Ah, I was the same way, wasn't I?
My parents told me countless times to stop causing trouble, but I was a troublemaker since elementary school.
"Aigo. Let's just finish the ramen first and think about it."
"Huureureuk, collok, hureuk, collokcollok!"
The girl tried to imitate the noodle-slurping I'd shown her but failed to succeed until she finished the ramen, and instead ended up splattering ramen broth all over her tattered clothes and face.
"It's still too much for you."
"No more?"
"I gave you almost a whole one, and you're still not full?"
"That, that..."
I had just asked lightly, with no real meaning.
Literally.
I was just asking if she was really still hungry, and implicitly including the meaning that I'd give her more if she was. But the girl, as if our earlier connection had been a lie, got surprised again, dropped her head, and watched my reaction.
"Hey!"
At the sight, I shouted angrily.
"...Ik!"
Then the girl, as if her earlier boldness in hitting my testicles twice had been a lie, flinched in surprise and plopped down on her rear.
I carefully lifted her up and said.
"If there's something you want to do, say it honestly! That's actually better. Got it?"
"R-really?"
"Yeah! It's okay to do that. It's worse for a kid to lie and deceive adults. Bad kids get taken away by... um, worse people. Got it?"
"!"
Startled by these words, the girl trembled—she was unmistakably a young child. What kind of past could she have gone through to be this extreme?
"Hey, it's okay."
"Uh? Then what should I call you. You didn't tell me your name."
"...Ho."
"Uncle Ho Ho?"
"Miho..."
Miho, huh.
That's a surprisingly Korean-sounding name.
"You're not lying, are you?"
"It's Miho! Miho is my name! I'm not lying!"
As soon as I doubted her, she puffed up her two tiny fists with a hurt expression and shouted. I chuckled and said.
"Yeah, okay. It's a pretty name."
"!"
At that moment.
Juureuk.
Tears suddenly streamed down Miho's cheeks and fell to the ground.
"Hey, hey, hey! Why are you crying! What did I do wrong?"
"I don't know, huaaaang, huaaaang! I don't knooow..."
"Don't cry! No, what did I do wrong that you're crying?"
Startled, I hugged Miho and patted her tiny back. Her back was so fragile and small that if I patted too hard, she might actually break.
"Appa, eomma... huaaaang, huaaaang..."
Appa...
I knew that word wasn't referring to me, and I told myself I shouldn't mind it.
But a child weeping and calling for their parents had a mysterious power that made even a piece of trash like my heart tremble.
"...It's okay, it's okay."
"I'm hungry, I'm still hungry... Miho was hungry."
"Yeah, I'll make you another cup of ramen."
See?
Of course a child couldn't endure hunger. How painful must hunger be for an impatient little kid?
It's no wonder that hungry kids sometimes go into the kitchen and cause accidents.
"If you're ever hungry again, tell me anytime. Got it? Even if I'm sleeping."
"Grab your cheeks..."
"Yeah, that's what I said."
A little while later, Miho finished another cup of ramen all by herself, licking the bowl clean.
And then.
"One more."
"Uh? Y-yeah."
She must have been really hungry.
...I thought.
But then.
"One more."
One more?
One more?
No matter how small the cup ramen size, how many was she going to eat?
I stared blankly at the empty cup ramen containers piling up in front of Miho in an instant, speechless.
"Burp."
Where the hell did I bring a piglet from?