Chapter 21
Chapter 21
After leaving the department store, I wandered aimlessly nearby with Miho.
Quietly, with my mouth shut, completely spaced out...
"She bit her own tongue."
The doctor's words kept replaying in my head like a broken tape recorder on infinite loop.
"......"
[......]
Living life, there were occasional cases where people accidentally bit their tongues. While eating, someone might unconsciously chew on their tongue, that sort of thing. And probably 99.98 percent of humans who had bitten their tongues had only experienced it to that degree.
Even that alone was enough to make most people startled.
But for such a small child to deliberately bite her own tongue... what, how, why...
"Is there any treatment possible?"
When I asked that, the doctor looked at me with somewhat strange eyes.
A suspicious look, as if wondering whether I might be the one who caused Miho to end up like this. But rather than feeling offended by that gaze, I silently endured it.
In fact, I felt even more relieved that he suspected me.
Because it felt like it confirmed that the sympathy I felt for Miho wasn't something strange.
"Honestly, the wounds are almost completely healed. What's surprising is that she didn't bite her tongue just once or twice. There are traces scattered all over. She must have bitten her tongue at least a hundred times. It's a miracle she didn't end up in a worse condition. The problem is that even if the wounds fully heal, her speech might not immediately return to normal due to the lisp."
The doctor said to me.
"There's a very high probability that it won't heal right away because of lingering psychological trauma. If you're her parent or guardian... take good care of her."
It was rare for a doctor to speak so bluntly to someone who came to the hospital.
Because the person who came might take offense.
But on the contrary, I was grateful that the doctor spoke to me so firmly. I thought he was a good doctor.
"Thud, thud, stop."
"Hey."
"Uh?"
"...Never mind."
I shook my head.
How could I ask her when we'd only just met? Why she chose to bite her tongue like that. It must have been unimaginably painful. It wasn't easy to ask if she was okay either.
That was probably the exact distance between Miho and me right now.
Fuck, I really want to smoke a cigarette.
My mouth and lungs are itching so badly I feel like I'm dying.
I'll just close my eyes and smoke for today...
"Hyunu!"
"What."
"Doh someding bedder dan holding hands!"
Something better than holding hands?
What was that.
"Oh, a piggyback ride."
"Piggyback wide!"
"Yeah, yeah, of course I can do that much. You're wearing proper underwear and clothes now."
I loosely hung the shopping bags on my forearm, lifted Miho up, and sat her on my neck. And worried she might fall, I firmly held onto her feet.
The warmth I felt from Miho above my head was incredibly comforting.
"Kyaaaaaaah! So high, so hiiiigh!"
"Of course! My height easily surpasses 180 centimeters! To a little squirt like you, that height must be absolutely amazing!"
"No way, Miho has climbed way higher trees than this!"
"Oh, really?"
If I did well, so that Miho could speak normally, clearly like other kids.
And so that even without me, she could show this confident and energetic side in front of others...
I wanted to do well.
Since being born into this world, not even once had I ever thought I wanted to do something this well.
Strangely enough, for this one thing, I felt like I wanted to do better and work harder than anyone else.
[......]
"Let's go. Now it's time to get a phone."
"Let's gooo~."
With Miho on my neck, I looked for the ST mobile carrier store that I used.
And even though I was just trying to roughly pick the most popular phone among kids these days, I had to go through some trouble.
"What is your relationship to the child?"
"...I'm the guardian."
"Well then, what is the child's name?"
"Miho."
"Click-clack, clack!"
The store employee, who was rapidly typing on the computer with the latest smartphone we were about to buy right in front of us, scratched the back of his head.
"When I search for Miho, too many names come up. Could you tell me her full name?"
"Excuse me? That is her full name..."
"......."
I was so flustered by the unexpected question that my voice trailed off. The employee's lips flapped a few times before he cautiously asked.
"Well then, could you tell me the guardian's full name?"
"...Kim Hyun-woo."
"Yes, one moment."
"Click-clack, clack!"
The store employee, who was typing on the keyboard again, let out a small chuckle and then teased me as if telling a joke.
"Oh, here it is. Were you kidding me, Sir?"
"......?"
Wondering what he meant, both Miho and I quietly looked at each other and tilted our heads, and the store employee explained why.
"It's right here. 'Kim' Miho."
"......!"
Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation and avoided eye contact with the employee.
Wondering if Miho might also react somehow, I looked down at her.
"Kim, Miho..."
Tears welled up in Miho's eyes as she muttered softly, and eventually, unable to hold it in, she burst into tears.
"Waaah, waaaaaah...!"
The cry was filled with so many emotions that I also felt a mix of feelings.
We had only met for a single day.
Was she shocked because some stranger called me her father, and because someone else's surname, someone she had no relationship with in her entire life, was attached to her?
Honestly, I...
Was a little, no, very happy with the name Kim Miho.
"Please wrap up the phone."
"Oh, yes! Understood. Please wait a moment."
I held Miho, who was crying her eyes out, and patted her back, struggling to hold back the words that itched to come out of my mouth.
I wanted to ask her honestly, was it that bad?
But I couldn't bring myself to ask.
"Hoo."
What was this little bundle of flesh to me? How long had we known each other, that she could toss my emotions around like this...
'I don't know anymore.'
"Waaah, waah..."
This one wish—that this child would laugh more often than she cried—was a sincere feeling that no one could deny.
"Here you are."
"Thank you."
Holding the sniffling Miho, I also received the shopping bag containing the smartphone. Somehow, both my hands were full.
"I can buy the blanket and toothpaste from the bedding store and convenience store in front of the house."
I was pretty tired too, and it was already almost lunchtime.
Should I just head back like this?
"Sniff, sniff."
But I felt a bit reluctant about that.
I didn't like the memory of returning from a busy street being accompanied by tears. When I was young and followed my mom around, I always came back smiling.
That's why I used to enjoy going out back then.
Although at some point, I started liking computers more and felt embarrassed walking around with my mom, so I stopped.
"Wait, let's stop by somewhere before we go."
"Where?"
"I don't know if it's still there, but I'll know once I go see."
With a glimmer of hope, as I wandered around with Miho, a familiar sign caught my eye. I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't help but break into a big smile.
[Space Arcade]
"It's still here."
Honestly, it wasn't in a great location.
Although it was on a busy street, to actually get in, you had to go through a rather dimly lit alley before a small entrance appeared.
If you came without your parents, there were occasional cases where shady guys would approach and take your money. Fortunately, my mom was always by my side.
I think she used to silently watch me play games and cheer me on.
'At the time, I didn't understand that.'
From a child's perspective, I had no idea why my mom, who didn't even play games, would clap and laugh just by watching me play.
So, on the contrary, I sometimes got embarrassed and whined, or threw a tantrum saying I'd go back on my own when I was done.
But now, I think I understand how my mom felt back then.
"Oh, oh oh oh oh...! Hyunu, Hyunu! What's this, so noisy! So sparkly!"
"Wait a moment."
[300 won per play]
If anything had changed, it was probably the price?
Back in the day, it was 100 won per round, but now it's changed to 300 won per round.
[Coin Exchange Machine]
[100 won x 10 coins]
I quickly exchanged three 1,000 won bills for coins.
"Jjallang jjallang jjallang!"
Miho's eyes sparkled as she saw the 100 won coins pouring out of the coin exchange machine.
"Kyaaaaaaah!"
Watching Miho, who looked like a monkey encountering new civilization, I put the coins into her hand and asked.
"What do you want to try first? Let's do whatever you want."
"Uh?"
I explained the arcade to Miho, who didn't understand what I meant, and she finally clutched the coins in her hand as if she would never let them go, running busily around the place.
After making a full circle, she barely managed to decide on two games: casual bowling and a racing game.
Well, those were the kinds of games kids were naturally drawn to.
I used to play them a lot when I was young too.
[Gutter!]
"Kyaaaaaaah!"
Even though the bowling ball she rolled kept veering sharply to the side, Miho just laughed as if she was having the time of her life, and I couldn't help but smile.
"Silly, that's not how you do it. You have to do it like this."
"Tteogureureureu, chwararak!"
[Strike!]
Even though it had been a really long time, my body still remembered how to play this game.
"Woooooow! Miho too, Miho too! Tteogureureureu!"
[Gutter!]
"Kyaaaaaaah!"
"Puhahaha, you really suck, huh."
"It's fun!"
So we played casual bowling, racing games.
Finally, we played a game where you ride a horse, and even though Miho complained her butt hurt from it, we had a great time laughing together, and naturally, smiles were drawn on both our faces.
Even though the doctor's words and Miho's reactions were still flickering in my mind.
Still, there was no denying that this time was enjoyable.
"Let's go home now."
"...Okay!"
Miho hesitated for a moment again.
I took her hand and hailed a taxi. Then, near the house, I bought a decent blanket and strawberry-flavored toothpaste, which was supposedly very popular with kids, and came back home.
"Hooah, I'm so tired."
Without even organizing the things I bought outside, I threw them carelessly on the floor and flopped face-down onto the cheap mattress.
But strangely, Miho was quiet.
I thought she would immediately whine and ask me to buy her chicken because she was hungry.
"Hyunu."
"Uh?"
"Did you come back quickly today? How many times does Miho have to count this time?"
"......"
Honestly, I had planned to go to work today.
My current situation wasn't very good. But thinking about how I had resumed my debut with Seonwoo Ye-rang yesterday, there were definitely customers who would come after hearing my news.
On the flip side, if I didn't go today, I would lose out on that much profit.
But.
"I'm not going today."
"......!"
"I'm just going to stay here. I'm tired, so I'll take a nap too. When I wake up, I need to eat something delicious with you, and I also need to teach you how to use the smartphone. Hey, let's spread out the blanket. Let's get some sleep first and then get up."
"Okay!"
"And we need to brush our teeth too."
"Eww..."
"It'll be fine today. I bought some good-tasting stuff. No, actually, you'll be looking forward to brushing your teeth from now on, you know?"
"......Bushing... teesh..."
"Brushing your teeth, brushing. Hurry up and come here."
"Uh! Okay!"
I put the kid's toothbrush in Miho's hand and squeezed a generous amount of the fragrant pink toothpaste on top.
"......!"
Miho seemed tempted, seeing that the color was different from the toothpaste she saw yesterday, and it smelled nice too.
She cautiously put the toothbrush into her mouth.
Seeing that, I said one thing.
"You can't eat it."
"Flinch!"
"Mi, Miho. You're not that stupid."
You were totally about to eat it, weren't you.
"Chikachika, gageulgageul, ptooey!"
As if we had rehearsed it, we stood side by side and brushed our teeth exactly the same. To be precise, Miho was imitating me.
If she kept doing that, she'd get better at brushing her teeth.
"Oh, I forgot about pajamas."
"Tha's okay!"
Miho pulled out a white t-shirt that was buried in the corner of the shopping bag, put it on inside out, and smiled brightly.
"Miho likes this better!"
"...Is that so?"
If she likes that better, that's actually a problem.
Well, maybe it's okay for now.
"Come here."
"Kyaaang!"
I thought about buying a bigger blanket, but since two would be enough until we moved, I only bought one today.
Because once I washed the blanket she peed on, I'd have two.
Today, since there was only one, Miho and I had to sleep a bit closer together.
"Wriggle wriggle!"
Not that it mattered, since this clingy little thing was crawling right into my chest anyway.
"Huaam, I'm really sleepy."
Waking up at dawn, watching over her in that uncomfortable position until she woke up, then eating pizza, going to the department store... I had really been moving around a lot in many ways.
As I drifted off to sleep, my eyes fluttering shut, Miho quietly said to me.
"Hyunu."
"...Uh..."
Half-asleep, I answered vaguely.
"'Kim' Miho... wath nice."
"......"
My eyes got a little misty for no reason.