Chapter 45
Chapter 45
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 45
Chapter Title: Hobgoblin Bastards #5
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Forwaaaard! Charge!"
-Thwack!
"One! Two! One! Two!"
"Keruk! Kek! Keruk! Kek!"
The goblins executed formation movements at my command.
-Click click click click.
Of course, it was a total fucking mess, an absolute shitshow.
Buril, who didn't even grasp the concept of marching drill, was stepping out with his left foot and left hand at the same time, while the others outright tripped or hopped around like idiots. Tangled feet were par for the course, and plenty of them froze mid-step, unsure which foot to move first, only to crash into the guy behind.
"Keruk! Kek! Keruk! Kek!"
And yet, they nailed the cadence perfectly amid the chaos.
"Hoo. Halt."
"Keruk."
I issued the halt command again.
I'd spent about an hour drilling them on marching formations, but being goblins, they just couldn't wrap their heads around it.
Marching drill is seriously important.
Back when I was in the army, I thought it was a total pain in the ass that only slowed you down and tired you out—a useless piece of garbage military procedure. And honestly, I wasn't wrong.
When the hell would the Korean military ever use marching drill in combat? If war broke out, you'd grab your gun and fight, drill be damned.
Modern militaries do marching drill purely for instilling discipline—nothing more, nothing less. It's got no practical use in battle, so of course it's boring as shit and hard to find meaning in.
But not here.
"Formation."
To fight in formation inside a dungeon, you need precise, disciplined movements. The phalanx is all about maintaining that formation.
What happens if it breaks?
Morale goes straight to hell.
You're fighting to leverage the formation's advantages—if that falls apart, it's just a chaotic brawl. And a brawl? Look at the size difference between hobgoblins and goblins. We'd get crushed. That's why we need tactics.
In this world, marching drill isn't a joke—it's a practical combat technique.
"Keruk! Keruk keruk!"
Squad leader Buril swung his arms wildly, lining up the troops. At least they were good at just standing in formation.
"Eh, whatever. Can't expect perfection in one day."
Thinking about it...
It was the same back at basic training.
No matter how hard we drilled, there were always guys who walked weird right up until graduation. Not sure if they were doing it on purpose, but plenty couldn't control their own bodies properly.
Hell, one guy even marched with his right foot and right hand together when going up for his certificate...
If humans are like that, what chance do goblins have?
Basic drill training lasted like five days? Three? Something around there—memory's fuzzy, but it was a while. Even humans need that much, so goblins will need even more.
"Alright then! Your great Demon King will demonstrate marching drill one more time! Like this. Left foot!"
-Thwack!
Step out with the left foot first. Right hand stays put—it's the one holding the spear or shield.
"Then right foot!"
-Thwack!
Step with the right foot while swinging up the left hand. Like that.
"Left foot! Left foot! Left foot! One! Two! One! Two!"
I put my all into the demonstration. Buril seemed to get the basics, but watching him imitate it, he was fumbling badly. Poor body control.
"Shaa! Sha! Shaa!"
Then Sharan sidled up beside me and started mimicking the drill.
"Holy shit."
"Shaa!"
She marched with the happiest damn face, stretching out those long, beautiful legs. Oh man. She was only wearing those skimpy leaf panties, so her ass line was killer... What a sight.
Staring at a body like that every day was its own kind of torture.
If I put a beret on this tall, slender stunner in nothing but her underwear and had her do drill...
Just watching would guarantee a wet dream.
-Shake!
I shook my head to clear the dirty thoughts! Sharan was too damn stimulating just existing!
"Yeah! Good job, Sharan! One! Two! One! Two!"
"Shaa! Sha! Shaa! Sha!"
Anyway, Sharan nailed it right away.
"Gyusat!"
"Krrruk!"
Then Imsoong and Gyuil's crew came over, trying to copy me. They didn't resemble it at all, of course. Imsoong scuttled sideways like a goddamn beetle, and Gyuil's bunch tried crawling on all fours.
What a fucking zoo.
"Hey, hey. You're distracting everyone—cut it out. Imsoong."
"Krruk?"
"No playing around. Go gather some fruit. Take Gyuil's crew. Gyuil! Go with Imsoong and get fruit!"
"Gyusat!"
They immediately formed up and headed outside.
"Heh heh heh, cute little shits."
Sending just them was risky, but they were ready for it now.
You know how territories work. Ever since we claimed this place and patrolled the area nonstop, it felt like the "territory" concept had taken root—no real predators around anymore.
This dungeon outskirts were our turf. So errands like fruit-picking were fair game.
"Alright, back to drill! Everyone in position!"
"Keruk!"
"Commence marching movement. Forward—go! One! Two! One! Two!"
"Keruk! Kek! Keruk! Kek!"
"Hmm."
Better than before, but these fuckers couldn't keep their hands still.
The front-line shield goblins were shaking their shields as they moved.
"Hey, hey. This ain't working. Halt for today. Let's jump straight to combat training."
"Keruk?"
"Everyone in position. Shield guys, raise shields."
At my word, the shield-bearers lifted their shields to cover themselves. They still didn't know how to use them properly. Time to teach 'em.
-Snap.
I snapped a branch off nearby and broke it into throwable chunks.
"Shaa?"
"Yeah, Sharan. What?"
"Shaa shaa."
Sharan grabbed the branch and—snap—broke it herself. Smart girl! She wanted to help.
"Heh heh heh, Sharan's the best."
"Shaa."
She even shoved her head in for pets. I stroked it. At this rate, I might naturally cop a feel on her chest.
Anyway.
"Shield guys! I'm throwing these now—block with your shields!"
"Keruk?"
"Here we go!"
-Whoosh!
I hurled a wood chunk.
-Thwack!
"Kyaek?!"
It nailed Sahaogi right in the forehead! He shrieked and clutched it.
"You dumbass! Block with the shield! I said block!"
"Kyaek!"
"Again!"
I kept chucking wood chunks.
-Thwack!
-Thwack!
-Thwack!
"Kyaek!"
"Kek!"
"Keruk!"
These fuckers were hopeless with shields! Even if they'd never seen one, they shouldn't be this clueless!
"If you don't know, you learn by getting hit, you shits! Here it comes!"
I pelted them with branches for a good while.
"Ke... keruk!"
Was it the shock therapy?
-Thud!
Finally, one blocked with his shield!
"Yes! Good job! You guys adapt quick!"
After enough headshots, they started blocking properly.
"Heh heh heh, yeah. Nothing teaches efficiency like a beating."
They hated getting hit, so they figured out how to use what they were holding. Wild goblins learn through experience, body-first.
I threw a few more chunks.
-Thwack!
They deftly raised shields and blocked every one.
"Great job! You little shits have talent!"
"Ke... keruk...?"
I rushed over, petting heads and praising them. My goblins were like sponges—they grew on compliments.
"Keruk keruk!"
See? Loving it already. Buril gave me a weird look from behind, but kids first.
"Alright! Real training starts now!"
I grabbed a long branch—a staff to use like a spear.
"Now I'll stab with this. Block it good."
"Keruk?"
"Hah!"
-Bonk!
I thrust at their shield wall.
"Ke... keruk?!"
The goblins panicked visibly, bumping shoulders and angling shields every which way. Good—they instinctively knew to hold formation.
"Take this!"
I kept thrusting!
-Bonk!
-Bonk!
-Bonk!
"Keruk!"
Perfect blocks from the shield wall! Holy shit! The kids were keeping up— this was fucking fun!
"Hahaha! Ha! Ha ha!"
As I gleefully stabbed away...
"Ke... kerrrruk!"
"Hm?"
Buril suddenly paled, dashed out, knelt before me, and started groveling like a fly, begging desperately.
"Kerruk! Keruk! Kerrrruk!"
"Wh-what? What the hell are you doing, Buril?"
"Kerrrring!"
Buril begged with a ashen face... What the fuck?
"Ah?"
Wait...
Did he think I was beating the shit out of the kids in a rage? Misread my pissed-off vibe as me punishing the shield guys? That's why he was pleading?
No!
"Hey, you idiot! Misunderstanding! Big bro wouldn't do that! It's training! Training!"
I explained immediately.
"Keruk...?"
But he didn't get it!
"Goddamn it! Practice! Combat training! You think your bro's some psycho beating kids 'cause he's pissed? Huh? I wouldn't!"
"Kaerurung?"
Damn! I hope he gets this—I didn't want my right-hand goblin misunderstanding me!
"Hey! No! It's not like that!"
"Ke... kerruk!"
"Kerrrruk!"
Then the shield guys dropped shields and rushed me, begging like mad.
"Sha... shaa. Shaa shaa."
Even Sharan stroked my shoulder with a worried face.
"Aigoo! Kids, I'm not mad!"
How the hell do I clear this misunderstanding!
* * *
Days of training passed like that.
As time went on, Sharan made more wooden gear, and I fully tamed the POW goblins.
Thus, the goblin phalanx squad armed with spears and shields was complete.
Number of troops.
Eight.
Plenty for a proper squad.
"Good. No more recruiting for a bit... Let's schedule the routine. Training. Hunting. Personal training at dusk."
Time to study black magic too.
And my own training.
Flipping through the book, there was hand-fire like Imsoong's, raising undead, and more.
"Demonic Power Extraction?"
Need to use that more. Food shortage meant no converting corpses to mana crystals yet.
Anyway.
"Sharan. Morning recon."
"Shaa."
Up and at 'em—time for routine morning patrol with Sharan. She loved leisurely forest strolls.
So we'd do it together.
Turf management had to be thorough.
"Shaa shaa."
Walking along, Sharan hooked her arm in mine.
"This is basically a date."
"Shaa."
Part of me wanted to drag Sharan somewhere quiet... Get cozy alone.
"Shaa?"
But her face was so innocent...! With that sinful body, she radiated pure cuteness! Doing dirty stuff to this Sharan felt wrong...
Anyway, lost in those thoughts during our patrol-slash-morning walk...
-Twitch.
My ear twitched suddenly... What? Ear twitched? Weird sensation. Focusing... I heard a sound.
"...grarak."
"...rak."
Faint voices.
-Twitch!
Instant call—I hit the deck and crawled toward the source.
"Grarak."
"Grak."
I spotted hobgoblins.
Two of them.
Carrying javelins.
...Scouts?
Pretty close to home base?