Galaxy (1)
Galaxy (1)
"Grrrngh...... This isn't working."
Sweat poured down my entire body like rain. This was the first time I'd felt this exhausted since leveling up.
I chucked my sword away and flopped straight onto the ground. Basrak basrak, the heightened senses picked up the crumbling earth sounds, ants crawling around, the feel of sweat droplets sliding down my skin, and even the smell of the weeds growing from the dirt—tons of info flooding in.
'Worked fine in the Dungeon.......'
The Dungeon was Senseless Hell, pitch black with not a single ray of light. A void space where you couldn't sense light, sound, or anything at all.
In that horrifying void that normal people would find utterly terrifying, I'd grasped Unity of Self and Nature and awakened my Sixth Sense.
......Well, sorta. Only kinda got it.
'Is the light always this prickly blinding?'
Once I stepped out of the Dungeon, everything I'd realized scattered like it was all a dream. I tried mimicking it hard, but no dice.
Reality was way too stimulating. The sun blazed down from the high sky all damn half-day, and when it set, moonlight and starlight twinkled away.
Countless critters chirped and wriggled, poking at me nonstop.
No way could I reach State of Absolute Calm or Unity of Self and Nature. And I knew exactly why.
'Too much damn stimulation.......'
Any famous swordmaster would've yelled that I was just making excuses for my shitty training, but what can ya do? Reality's a bitch.
'At least this Otherworld has no smartphones...... If it were Earth, I'd feel all the radio waves flying around too?'
I'd probably end up with radio wave hypersensitivity, couldn't even do daily life. Forget Sixth Sense—my five senses would go numb from overload.
'Go back...... to the Dungeon?'
Nah, that wouldn't bring enlightenment. Gut feeling said so. If you could regain a forgotten enlightenment the same way, it'd just be like an attendance reward, not real enlightenment.
"How the hell do I......."
"Um, Dojin......."
"—Huh, Eunha. What's up?"
"This......."
While I was deep in thought, Eunha showed up with a basket. Inside were water and a towel.
"W-Wipe off your sweat while you do it...... Sweat getting in wounds is bad......."
"My wounds are all healed, remember? Aram fixed 'em."
"B-But just in case......."
"......Yeah, alright. Thanks."
I took the towel from her and immediately stripped off my top. Peeling away the sweat-soaked shirt let a cool breeze hit right away.
Wiping down with the cold damp towel felt insanely refreshing, words can't even describe it.
'Ah...... right.'
That's when I finally noticed Eunha was right there and turned to her. But she acted totally unfazed even seeing me naked.
Come to think of it, she was always like that. Never freaked out big-time no matter what, never showed her feelings.
'Is this what true State of Absolute Calm looks like.......'
How do you even get there? I stared at Eunha intently, and she stared right back like, What do you wanna say?
"Eunha."
"Yeah, what......?"
"How do I become like you?"
"......Like me?"
"Yeah, always so calm, not reacting big to anything......."
"I'm not...... like that."
Eunha hung her head low as she said it. Her face looked awful, going all pale like she'd eaten something bad.
"I'm not...... the amazing person you think I am, Dojin."
"Really? 'Cause from where I'm standing, you're pretty damn impressive."
"No...... I'm just hiding it. Yeah...... Acting like it doesn't faze me is my specialty......."
Specialty, huh. I gazed at Eunha steadily. She looked like she had zero self-esteem, still couldn't find confidence in herself, head bowed low.
Even after coming to the Otherworld, the Trauma embedded in her wouldn't let go.
'Now that I think about it.......'
Eunha's ability was Pain Immunity. Put differently, it meant her Trauma was so bad from suffering pain that escaping it became her thing. How the hell does that even happen?
I slowly read her thoughts. Then I flinched and looked away.
'......What the fuck.'
—Die die die die die die die die.
Her head was full of pure self-loathing.
Back in his room, Dojin recalled Eunha's thoughts from earlier and felt a bit nauseous. The emotions were so intense, they bled through the text.
'When did Eunha get like that?'
She never showed it on the outside. At least back then, it wasn't this bad, he thought.
Dojin tried remembering the last time he'd read Eunha's thoughts. ......Too long ago to even recall.
'Maybe ask Aram......?'
Aram was still sharing a room with Eunha. Not 'cause of no rooms, but 'cause Eunha couldn't sleep alone.
Unlike Seoyun who popped in anytime, Aram didn't visit often for that exact reason.
Realizing that, Dojin headed straight to Aram's room. Luckily, Eunha wasn't there—probably off to the Bath or something.
"Dojin? What's up......."
"Got something to talk about regarding Eunha...... Mind if I come in quick?"
"......I'll come to your room. Wait a sec."
Not long after Dojin waited in his room, Aram showed up. She'd even brought and put on glasses she didn't usually wear.
"Been waiting?"
"Nah, come on in first."
"Okay......."
Once inside, Aram pushed up her glasses and warned Dojin.
"You're not here for that right now, so don't think like that, okay?"
As she said it, she jiggled her chest. Dojin couldn't tell if she was tempting him or dead serious.
He didn't read her mind, just sat on the bed with her. She took a deep breath, then looked at him.
"So......? What do you know?"
"......Know about what?"
"About Eunha. How much?"
Dojin spilled what he knew. That she was timid, low self-esteem, even suicidal.
Considering she'd already leveled up once, it wasn't just depression. It was chronic mental illness, not easy to fix.
After hearing him out, Aram slowly shared what she knew.
"......Remember at first, when we fell into the Otherworld and I shared a room with Eunha?"
"Yeah. I remember......."
Nearly half a year ago, but impossible to forget. No money, so they sold smartphones, padding, everything—and still short, so two or three per room.
Back then, Aram recalled how Eunha acted while rooming together.
"Eunha's body back then...... was covered in wounds."
"......Covered?"
"Yeah."
"From fighting in the Dungeon? Nah, back then Seoyun wiped everything out, none of us got a scratch."
Dojin remembered too. In front of Seoyun post-awakening, Goblins were pathetic weaklings. Couldn't even scratch them......
Naturally, the smallest and frailest Eunha didn't get a chance to fight. No reason for wounds. Which meant.
"Abused or something?"
"......Yeah."
Dojin said it casually, but in modern society, child abuse was a major crime. In America, parents would lose custody and go straight to jail.
And since Eunha was a girl, sexual abuse was possible too.
"No way......."
"Nah, probably not. She's clueless about that stuff, and I checked when we bathed together—no signs."
"......Phew, good."
Dojin sighed in real relief, then anger surged as backlash. Abusing your own kid so bad they get abilities to avoid pain? Dojin's dad did similar shit, but at least had a decent excuse.
"Eunha...... already has deep emotional scars."
"......Any way to treat it?"
"You know too, Dojin...... No."
Truth was, Dojin couldn't cure Aram's depression either. She recovered via leveling up, not his power.
Since Eunha had already leveled up once, her mental illness was beyond fixing.
"......Eunha was thinking of dying."
"How'd you know? She tell you herself?"
"......Kinda, my ability."
"Your ability? Isn't it just sword mastery?"
"W-Well, leveled up and got a new one. Can read opponents' thoughts-ish during fights."
Lie. But couldn't tell the truth. Way different from spilling to Deokgu.
Luckily, Aram didn't doubt him. Other kids' abilities had evolved already, after all.
"......So Eunha thinks like that."
"Yeah."
"......Eunha's washing up alone right now."
That instant, the same thought flashed through both their heads. Suicide. With Pain Immunity, Eunha could die quietly like euthanasia.
Dojin bolted to the bathroom. Burst the door open, jumped into the Bath. Eunha, lost in thought in the tub, turned, saw him, and freaked, covering herself.
"D-Do, Dojin!?"
"You okay!?"
Dojin rushed over, yanked her arm. She'd been busy covering her chest, now her hands were taken.
Luckily, no cuts on her wrists. Dojin sighed in relief, and Eunha spoke up, embarrassed.
"......Um, Dojin? Can you leave now......?"
"Ah, y-yeah. Sorry."
He apologized and left. That's when Aram arrived, panting hard.
"Eunha!?"
"She's washing inside."
"She's okay!?"
"Yeah. Nothing happened."
Not entirely true. Dojin recalled Eunha's naked body from the Bath.
'Those scars.......'
Some weren't from a day or two of beatings. Old ones from childhood that stretched as she grew......
Aram was right. Eunha had been abused. That's why her personality was like that.
'To fix that.'
Any way? Sadly, this world's psychiatry wasn't advanced. Dojin's elementary-level psych knowledge obviously wouldn't cut it......
'What to do?'
Dojin pondered hard. All night long.......