Melodrama (1)
Melodrama (1)
However, Ilone's hardships didn't end there.
"......No, what the hell is going on today? Why is the Elf Queen suddenly coming!"
"Don't ask me."
The next day, knights from the territory visited the Guard Force and issued a mission.
A few days later, the Elf Queen would arrive as the Dungeon Lord's envoy for friendly relations with humans.
They ordered the complete elimination of all suspicious elements in the city to protect her—a completely unrealistic desk-jockey pipe dream.
"If that were possible, why would we even be here......."
"Should we spread some rumors?"
"How?"
"Say the Elf Queen is coming, so they better clear out on their own—."
"Are you insane? What if that provokes a real assassination attempt?"
After scolding the idiot squad member for his dumb idea, Ilone realized it wasn't all that different from what she was thinking.
If you can't completely exterminate the cockroaches in your house, make them scatter on their own.
Ilone immediately ordered all squad members to patrol.
Go into the back alleys on purpose and drag in every criminal you see. Don't let even the tiniest misdemeanor slide, and if they resist, pile on every possible additional charge.
"If we pull that crap for a few days, they'll realize something's up and clear out on their own."
Then, Ilone grabbed her weapon and flipped down her helmet.
In a situation where every single person was precious, even the captain couldn't just sit around.
The guild had been in an uproar for days.
Dojin noticed it every time he came and went.
'What's going on......?'
As he tilted his head in confusion, Pion approached him with a thank-you.
"Ah, thanks for coming with me! Well, take care!"
"No problem. It's fine. Want me to pick you up later?"
"Yup!"
After dropping Pion off at the guild, Dojin stepped out. Even though they'd set up a branch office at the mansion, they couldn't handle everything in this otherworld without computers or the internet.
She came to the guild like this whenever she had time and cleared out all the piled-up work at once.
Clank-.
'Guard.'
As Dojin walked, he spotted a guard.
This was already the third one he'd run into today.
Maybe they were ramping up patrols now that it was getting chilly to prevent freeze deaths.
'Doesn't feel like it, though.'
But Dojin, who had never committed a crime and paid his taxes on time, didn't give it a second thought.
If anything, he was their employer, wasn't he? Probably no one in the city paid more taxes than him......
Dojin arrived back at the mansion and headed straight to the dining hall where the children were gathered.
Sure enough, since he'd given them advance notice, all the kids were there together.
"You're here?"
Seoyun slightly lifted her head to greet him. Dojin nodded and looked around at the children.
All of them were waiting for him with expectant eyes.
"Let's go."
"Yeah!"
"Wow—it's my first time seeing my friend's show live."
"Of course! How many kids our age are successful enough to be performing!"
"Uh—Ga-hee?"
"Concert tickets were too expensive, so I couldn't go."
Today was Eunha's performance. It was already her umpteenth show, and rumors were swirling that even the Saintess had come from the Holy Kingdom to see it.
'......Just rumors, right?'
He started to worry a bit, but Dojin headed to the theater troupe anyway. To the one where Eunha was.
'An extermination squad?'
Waiting in the VIP seats at the theater troupe, Adelange wrinkled her nose at the unpleasant smell hitting her nostrils.
It was the smell of clerics. The stench of holy water they always doused themselves in. The smell of those self-important clerics, covered in the fertilizer of some dubious god whose existence was questionable, filled the entire theater.
The problem was......
'They've already surrounded us.'
There were just too damn many. Inside and out, the sticky smell clung everywhere.
Who would've thought she'd meet her end like this? With that in mind, Adelange steeled her resolve to take down as many as possible and began gathering her magic power.
She waited for the holy knights to charge at her.
'......What the hell? Why?'
But no matter how long she waited, the clerics didn't come at her.
"Ugh-."
Then, a piercingly intense smell stabbed her nose. She whipped her head around and stared at the woman sitting in the VIP seat next to her. Her eyes also met those of the guardian standing behind her.
'So strong.......'
The smell and the skill—absurdly powerful foes.
A smell this potent meant at least bishop-level.
Someone who could crush her one-on-one.
Feeling her gaze, the veiled woman next to her cautiously turned her head to look at Adelange.
She couldn't see the full face, but Adelange knew exactly who it was.
'Saintess......!'
Bow-.
Adelange returned the Saintess's courteous bow, then quickly covered her mouth with her fan and turned away.
Beings of bishop rank or higher became famous in proportion to their power, and someone like the Saintess was so renowned that pretty much everyone knew her name.
Which meant the one standing beside her had to be the famed judge Charlotte, the Saintess's guardian knight.
'No way, why would the Saintess come to some backwater theater troupe's play......!?'
Finally realizing the identities of all the clerics around her, Adelange figured that as long as she stayed quiet, there wouldn't be any big issues, and prayed for the time to pass quickly.
Murmur murmur—.
The theater started buzzing again. At the same speed, Adelange's nose picked up a natural scent.
Moments later, an elf took the seat to her left.
Elves were rare, but not nonexistent, so the commotion was a bit odd......
"Is my husband here at a place like this?"
The elf who entered was none other than the Elf Queen, ruler of all elves.
It went without saying that the rangers following her were formidable, if not quite on Charlotte's level......
Seeing the Queen, the Saintess muttered something to her guardian. Hearing it, Charlotte looked at the Queen and spoke.
"The Saintess-nim asks, 'What brings you here?'"
"I saw it in the newspaper—said the play here was hilarious, so I came."
Hearing that, Adelange was dumbfounded. It wasn't that funny to warrant a trip from the Elf Kingdom.
More than that......
'Why the hell are the Elf Queen and the Saintess at a dump like this...!'
The odds of it being coincidence were ridiculous.
It was so unbelievable that Adelange pressed her open fan tightly to her mouth, hiding half her face to avoid their gazes.
But you can't just dodge eyes that easily, so the Celestia next to her took an interest and spoke to her.
"You here because of the newspaper too?"
"No, I just have a hobby of watching stuff like this."
"Quaint hobby."
"Ah, ahaha. I've always been interested in art since way back......."
Busted.
Adelange thought, her heart pounding uncontrollably.
It was the first time her heart had raced like this since becoming an immortal undead.
Vampires were public enemies on the continent.
No better than mosquito spawn among demi-humans.
They wouldn't hunt you down specifically, but if they spotted you, it was taken for granted they'd slaughter you brutally—the most reviled race on the continent.
If her identity got out?
A pincer attack from the Elf Queen, Saintess, and their guardians—she'd be obliterated before she could even scream.
She didn't want to die so pathetically.
She had pride as a noble of the night......!
'But seriously, why are they here......?'
As she thought that and glanced around, even the general seats—not just VIP—started filling up.
Darkness fell over the theater, and the famous Small Swan began her dance.
As people gasped in admiration at her performance, Adelange eyed the people around her, gauging them.
'......They're not watching?'
Both the Saintess and Elf Queen weren't focused on the show—they were rolling their eyes around like they were searching for someone.
If that's the case, why come to the damn show? She wanted to snap, but didn't dare.
In the end, she spent the whole play just peeking around without even knowing how it went, until it finished.
The moment it ended, the two stood up like they'd been waiting and vanished. Adelange stayed seated, waiting for them to leave.
Only after their scents fully faded did she stand, spotting troupe members looking for her and smiling.
'Right, I came for a gourmet meal today... not to deal with those monsters.'
With that thought, she approached the troupe leader.
Right ahead, fine cuisine.
Having watched Eunha's performance, Dojin clapped and let out an exclamation.
It wasn't empty praise because she was his colleague—she was genuinely amazing.
"Wow...... Eunha, since when were you that good?"
"Genius! Total genius!"
The kids were rowdily praising her.
Dojin recalled that she'd invited them to an afterparty once the show ended, so he headed with the children to the spot Eunha had mentioned in advance.
On the way, massive footsteps echoed from somewhere.
"Husband!"
Dojin turned at the familiar voice, and his eyes landed on a massive pair of breasts.
He quickly stepped back a pace, and the Elf Queen, missing her target, charged in again without giving up.
Finally catching her, Dojin blinked and looked at her.
"No...... how did you get all the way here?"
"To see you, husband. Aren't you happy?"
Celestia said that as she buried her face in Dojin's chest and started sniffing his pheromones greedily.
Who knew just a few days apart would make her crave him this much? She'd never imagined it before.
"Your Majesty, you must maintain decorum......."
"Yeah! We wanna hug too!"
Noel, Irisa, and Orion arrived late behind her.
Dojin met Orion's eyes, gave a slight smile, then pried the Queen off him.
"......Husband?"
And at the same moment, Seoyun's icy voice rang out.
Come to think of it, he hadn't explained to her. Or the other kids......
They didn't even know he'd gone to the Elf Kingdom, right?
To explain would require starting from Orion's disappearance and all the trials he'd faced searching for her.
Dojin didn't have the skill to sum up that epic tale short and sweet.
So he boiled it down to one line.
"It just happened."
"─Haa."
Seoyun let out a long sigh. One loaded with the meaning of why the hell do I like this guy?
The kids watched Dojin and Celestia—who claimed to be his wife—with thrilled eyes, like they were glued to a trashy drama.
As the atmosphere ignited, the Saintess appeared from afar.
"......Huh? That person—"
The kids recognized the Saintess from the festival and gasped. In this otherworld, no one was more famous than the emperor—except the Saintess.
Tear-.
The moment she appeared, she pulled a scroll from her bosom, tore it, confirmed the barrier was up around them, and removed her veil.
Then she rushed at Dojin, shouting.
"Husband!"
Blindsided by the sudden bombshell, Dojin couldn't dodge and caught the Saintess. Behind him, a chill hit—not just cold, but absolute zero.
"......Husband?"
"......It just happened."
With the house already ablaze, the Saintess poured on the oil.