Nothing Special
Sunlight slipping through the gap in the curtains nudged my eyes open.
"Did I fall asleep…?"
Dragging myself out of that half-dreaming haze, I stretched hard, trying to shake off the drowsiness that still clung to me.
The heating must have shut off while I was out. A chill hung in the air—but something warm nestled against me held it at bay.
Seol-hwa. Breathing soft and even, still curled in my arms exactly where she'd fallen asleep.
"You sleep like a rock."
Most mornings it was the other way around—Seol-hwa drifting off before me and waking first, the one who usually had to rouse me. Chances to see her this deeply under were rare.
Careful not to wake her, I watched her sleeping face in silence.
She looked so at ease. Something almost bright about her expression, even asleep…
…Kind of cute, actually.
More than enough to make the thought stick. If she'd overheard it, a volcano would have erupted clean through the top of her head—I could picture the whole scene so clearly I almost laughed out loud.
But she was sleeping. So for now, it was fine… I told myself, not even sure who I was making excuses to.
Without meaning to, I thought back to the way she'd looked that rainy day.
A face filled with nothing but sorrow and loneliness. Resignation written into every line of it.
Those dark eyes, that shadow hanging over her expression—at least none of that was here now. I was glad for that.
"…Ugh."
Sitting there staring at her so unguarded, last night came rushing back whether I wanted it to or not.
"What the hell did I even say…?"
If there'd been a mirror nearby, I'd have seen my own face gone scarlet. The stuff about the past was one thing—but I'd gotten swept up in the moment and just spilled everything, sense or no sense.
Even I thought it was pathetic. The embarrassment was only hitting me now, late and hard.
"Don't look away, huh…"
Quietly, so I wouldn't wake her, I turned Eun-ha's words over again.
That the person you care about feels the same way. That you shouldn't turn your eyes from that fact.
The thing I'd kept denying ever since that day.
I shook my head a couple of times to clear the dull ache settling in, then gently pressed a fingertip to Seol-hwa's cheek.
She hadn't been taking care of herself at all. The same way her hair sometimes felt dry and brittle when I stroked it, her cheek wasn't so much soft as a little rough—and that just made me feel bad for her.
She tried so hard to look put-together, but the finer details like this were clearly beyond her.
Maybe I should talk to Eun-ha.
She seemed pretty serious about taking care of herself. If I asked, she might help. The only real problem was that she was basically the same species as my mother, so the teasing would be inevitable… Nothing I could do about that. I'd just have to take it.
Even while making that grand resolution, I kept gently poking at Seol-hwa's cheek, careful not to wake her.
Too much of a good thing, maybe. She twitched at the touch, and for a second I thought I'd done it—woken her up for real.
But she only shifted a little, then let out a sudden soft "nyuu…" like she was talking in her sleep, and started nuzzling her cheek against my finger like some tiny animal.
This is, on multiple levels…
Dangerous. Dangerous in every possible sense of the word.
I shoved down the turmoil creeping up on me and carefully tried to pull my hand away.
That must have been the trigger. With truly impeccable timing, Seol-hwa's eyes fluttered open.
"…Sleep well?"
"…Hweh?"
Whether she was still half-asleep or just needed a second to process the situation…
Her hazy eyes wandered for about three seconds. Then her whole face went scarlet, she let out a completely unintelligible "HkyAAAAH?!", scrambled backward using only her arms—and cracked her head straight into the wall.
"Sorry—you okay?"
I was pretty sure something similar had happened yesterday. Was her head all right?
This time it was about ninety-nine percent my fault, so I couldn't exactly complain. Without even a moment to sigh the way I usually would, I started toward her to check if she was hurt.
"…What are you doing?"
But Seol-hwa had suddenly curled into herself like some kind of armadillo, refusing to meet my eyes.
Was she hurt badly enough to end up in a pose like that? I tried to get closer, and she scooted away still all curled up.
Wait. Don't tell me…
"…Are you embarrassed?"
"D-don't say it!"
"…Bull's-eye."
Hadn't I nearly been writhing with delayed mortification myself just a minute ago?
…Yeah. Of course it'd be worse for her.
I let out a breath, strode over, and peeled one of her arms away from her still-curled-up body.
And there she was—face flaming red, eyes shining with unshed tears. I swallowed hard without meaning to, words gone.
"Yu-seong, you're so mean…"
Seol-hwa puffed out her cheeks in a tiny pout.
"So? You hate it?"
"Th-that's a dirty question!"
If I kept teasing her while she was sulking like this, she really would get mad at me. I shook my head a little, trying to wipe the grin off my face.
"Sorry."
Only then did she deflate her cheeks with a muttered, "…Just this once."
"Man, you really can cook. No joke."
After the morning's chaos had settled, the table held fried eggs, scrambled eggs… even an omelet.
A pretty lavish spread for breakfast.
With nothing left in the fridge but eggs—a truly dire situation—she'd still managed to make the table bloom. It was enough to make your jaw drop.
"I can only do simple things. I wasn't sure about it, but… I'm glad. It seems like you like them."
"You'd be perfect if you just learned some confidence."
Self-worth might have been the better word.
I wasn't the type to dish out empty flattery, so I'd given her my honest impression—but Seol-hwa still looked apologetic about it, and I clicked my tongue silently.
She had the effort and the skill. She just rated herself way too low.
Without her, I wouldn't even be eating like this.
From the perspective of someone whose daily routine used to be skipping meals out of laziness, or filling up on delivery, convenience-store food, and instant stuff—this was more than I could ask for.
She'd started doing everything, from cleaning to cooking like this, saying she couldn't face herself if she didn't pull her weight as someone freeloading here. I'd turned her down at first. That wasn't why I'd brought her home.
I'd turned her down, but…
At this point, I'd be in pretty rough shape without her…
Getting to eat warm, delicious food like this every day, plus having her handle all the chores and knock them out one after another—I was the one in her debt, really.
Even hiring a housekeeper for serious money wouldn't get you results like this. Hell, even when Mom dropped by now and then to help clean, she couldn't get it this perfect.
Not that the person responsible would admit it. She just scratched her cheek, flustered, and mumbled, "I-it's not that big a deal…"
"Um… are you sure this is really okay?"
"It's fine."
We were walking to school.
Not separately, the way we had until yesterday to keep from being seen—but the two of us, side by side, out in the open for anyone who cared to look.
It had started with something I'd said after breakfast.
If she was okay with it, did she want to walk to school together?
That part, at least, hadn't been the plan…
But then Seol-hwa had gone and said, "Then… can I ask one favor?"—and so here we were, walking the whole way hand in hand.
(Yu-seong… are you scared of people?)
I quietly recalled what Eun-ha had asked me.
I hadn't been able to give her a real answer at the time.
But looking back, she'd hit the mark dead-on.
People… more precisely, the idea of ending up alone again. That was what scared me.
I hadn't wanted to admit it, so I'd told myself I was fine on my own—that alone was better, even. Played tough.
Acted however I wanted. Treated the gossip and the cold shoulders like they were only natural.
Convenient excuses, all of it.
My reputation this, not wanting to drag Seol-hwa into it that… acting like she and I were different somehow.
I'd decided not to look away from what mattered. So what could I actually do for her?
I didn't need to think long.
I'd been saying it all along, hadn't I?
That being together was better. That I wanted to be with her.
Maybe I'd had some preconceived notion that I needed to do something grand.
But if I really thought about it—whenever I stayed by her side, talked to her, praised her, stroked her hair, held her hand like this—Seol-hwa always smiled.
To other people it might be nothing special. But to her, it wasn't nothing.
I'd overcomplicated it with every excuse I could find… when the easiest, simplest thing I could do for her had been right there the whole time.
"Hey, isn't that Han Yu-seong? Wait—and next to him, is that Yun Seol-hwa?"
"I heard they were hanging out together. So the rumors were true?"
The whispers started up around us like it was the most natural thing in the world. I didn't care even a little.
I was used to this kind of reaction by now… no. More accurately, I'd stopped letting it get to me.
Honestly, it wasn't like the snide remarks or the dirty looks didn't register at all.
But there just wasn't any room left inside me for that kind of noise.
The reason was simple.
"I never thought… there'd be a day I'd walk to school with someone like this."
Seol-hwa said it with a bright, beaming smile, like she couldn't be happier.
Something this small was enough to make her light up. So what did any of the rest of it matter?
Seol-hwa was happy.
That alone filled me so completely that whatever anyone else had to say, there simply wasn't space for it.
"Sorry. I should've done this sooner… instead of being a coward about it."
When I said that, Seol-hwa shook her head.
"I don't know what you're apologizing for."
"I'm happy. There's nothing to apologize for. You don't need to. Not at all."
The pure joy in her smile made my face heat up before I could stop it. I scratched my cheek with a fingertip.
"…Well. Good, then."