Chapter 98
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 98
Chapter Title: Confessions Over Soju
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Both of us just washed our feet and plopped down barefoot on the chairs in the motel room, starting to sip soju. I'd heard somewhere that it's best not to use the cups provided in motels or hotels, so we drank from paper cups we'd prepared in advance.
Drinking soju from paper cups looked pretty sloppy, but maybe because I was sharing it with Han Aebom, it didn't feel cheap or unpleasant. There must be something special about drinking with a pretty girl after all.
'If I'd been drinking alone, it would've tasted awful.'
Come to think of it, I probably wouldn't have touched soju if I were by myself.
I figured five bottles between the two of us would be plenty—more than enough, really. But it was going down surprisingly easy.
Already on the third bottle.
The conversation as we drank was nothing special.
Things like what happened while working at the study cafe, or the crazy customers I still dealt with regularly at the convenience store. Or how Yoon Sua's cooking skills seemed to be improving day by day. Her complexion looked much healthier than when we first met, stuff like that.
"We've already finished three bottles."
"Yeah, we have."
We'd barely touched the snacks, but before I knew it, I was popping open the fourth bottle.
Han Aebom glanced at me slyly, then tapped the bottom of the soju bottle with her elbow before squeezing her eyes shut and shivering dramatically.
"Aebom?"
"Hnggg..."
She's so damn cute.
"Were you trying to copy what Hana did last time? It looked cooler than I expected."
Han Aebom nodded, her ears turning slightly red.
"Try it slowly. Nice and slow."
"Okay."
She had no intention of giving up. Once the static from the elbow subsided, she tapped it again and shook the bottle enthusiastically.
Han Aebom looked a little disappointed when no impressive vortex formed inside the bottle she'd shaken herself.
"Why doesn't it work for me? With Oh Hana, it swirled like a tornado."
"Hana's got the technique down, that's all."
"Hmm."
Pop!
Even as she grumbled, Han Aebom twisted off the cap and diligently pushed the top of the soju with her index and middle fingers. Then, as she poured some into my cup, she asked,
"What about you, Hyunwoo?"
"Yeah?"
"... Do you have any worries or anything?"
This was like a gift from the heavens.
Truth be told, while staring at Han Aebom's feet, I'd repeated "show a weak side" in my head dozens of times, waiting for the right moment. And now, the opportunity had presented itself.
Since she'd decided to show her vulnerable side anyway, I was going all in.
"Worries? I've got plenty."
I had no intention of lying or acting. Han Aebom was sharp—she'd see right through it. I planned to win with nothing but the genuine truth.
"I'm not sure if I should say. Sigh. It'd be too embarrassing."
"You don't have to force it if you don't want to. Everyone has worries they don't want to share with others."
"If it were Hana, maybe I wouldn't. But with you, Aebom... I want to tell you."
At my words, Han Aebom's feet—which had been quietly flat on the floor—lifted slightly and started fidgeting.
Moving up and down, curling her toes like a little kid.
"You saw it today, right? How much my friend was tiptoeing around me."
"You could call it consideration. Or you could see it as something that made you uncomfortable."
"If it were anyone else, I'd think they were doing it on purpose. But he's not like that. Even back in our more equal college days, he was the same. The guy's just overly attuned to others' feelings."
"That's just how people talk. From what I saw chatting with him up close, he seems like a good guy. Though Lee Seonhwa had a bit of a sly side."
I nodded and chuckled softly.
"But honestly, if I were as outstanding as those words imply now, I wouldn't be fazed at all. A successful friend wouldn't need to read my mood like that in the first place."
"Hyunwoo, you're working hard enough as it is..."
"I've been working hard before."
"..."
"Not as hard as now, maybe. But still, I put in some effort because I was scared of becoming a NEET or a societal failure. I did."
And yet, my friends ended up working even harder than me, so they got jobs.
I didn't work as hard as them, so I became unemployed.
"It's the same now, in a way. I can't live off convenience store part-time gigs forever. Sure, some say you can scrape by on that for life. But how many people actually live like that on purpose?"
"..."
Han Aebom nodded gently in understanding. She was the type who knew how to listen. What a... truly wonderful woman.
"An uncertain future. My current situation, which even I find a bit pathetic by my own standards."
"..."
"That's what scares me, even as I try so hard—really hard—to escape it. I wish I could be as positive as Hana. But I'm more drawn to the negative side."
"That's just how humans are."
"...What if I'm just destined to fail from the start?"
"...!"
"Aren't I basically a failure already? They say life is long, to look at the big picture, you never know what'll happen...! But right now, the gap with my friends is already widening."
Han Aebom quietly closed her parted lips and let her raised shoulders drop slightly.
I kept going.
"To be honest, I didn't even know what a 'junior associate' was today."
"..."
"I looked it up online. Turns out it's the rank after regular employee. I've picked up stuff from company dramas—employee, assistant manager, manager, department head, team leader... But honestly, I still don't know if team leader outranks deputy or whatever."
"..."
"Even if I keep grinding away, this world might not even let me in as a full-time employee. What if I get hired on contract and can't convert to permanent, then get kicked out? Or even if I'm lucky and land permanent, by the time I start, my friends might already be prepping for promotions."
These were thoughts I'd never shared with anyone. Words I'd buried deep inside.
At the year-end party, I'd laughed it off in front of my friends, bragging about applying to mid-sized and big companies, but that was just pretending it didn't bother me.
Telling my parents would just make me feel guilty... And venting to anyone else would come off as pathetic self-pity, without any real help anyway.
I wasn't even sure if this was vulnerability or just ugliness. But I couldn't stop now.
Was it the alcohol hitting me late?
Or once the dam broke, I couldn't hold it back anymore?
"I'm going crazy with anxiety. Meanwhile, kids younger than me are prepping even harder and surging ahead. Would a company really hire someone like me?"
"Companies... are companies..."
Han Aebom started to say something, then sighed deeply and fiddled with her paper cup before speaking.
"To be honest, you don't need to hang your whole life on someone else's company. But to get a good job... to earn a high salary by others' standards, you kinda have to. That's how companies make it."
"..."
"Hyunwoo, companies have their idiotic sides, sure. But ultimately, they're collectives aimed at maximizing profit. And one of the most important things for that is scouting and hiring talent. That's a huge reason why big corporations pour money into training despite all the losses."
Han Aebom continued.
"QL Academy Project, Overseas Talent Smart Home Project, New Technology AI Project, and so on... They invest massive sums in large-scale training programs, teach them everything, only for people to jump ship to competitors with promises of higher pay and better treatment. Do you know how many do that?"
Stories I'd never heard before. Worlds far removed from mine. But suddenly, they felt much closer.
"And yet, sometimes one unexpected genius or talent brings massive profits to the company. Or sustains its pride and value as a major corporation. That's why big corps don't skimp on this stuff. Look at how many pathetic companies collapse in this country from cheaping out on it."
Han Aebom let out a sneer close to a scoff, then caught herself and looked at me.
"...Sorry, I went off on a tangent. Point is, companies recognize talent for their own profit in the end. So what if you're a bit older? Prove your ability, and they'll hire you. Comparing to others? Fine. Then just build specs that outshine those others."
"These days, they won't even hire new grads without experience. Is there even a chance to prove that ability? Everyone's doing experiential internships and all that..."
"Then show off a weapon unique to you, Hyunwoo—one that lets you ignore even that. Unless you're just going to brag about the same internship experience as everyone else."
Han Aebom looked me in the eye and said,
"I'll guarantee you this much."
"..."
"Someone with truly unparalleled ability will succeed no matter what. There's an idiom for it—do you know it?"
"...A peg in a bag?"
"Say it confidently. You're right. But if the awl's too sharp... it ends up hurting you too."
Her expression as she said it was the saddest, most regretful one she'd shown yet. Probably tied to whatever she's hiding.
And belatedly, I remembered I wanted to hear that story. Damn. Did I just come off as a pathetic whiner? This sucks.
"Thanks for listening to my worries. And for the encouragement."
"No, it's fine. If anything, I learned something new. Everyone carries different burdens. What seems trivial to me could be life-or-death for someone else. I almost forgot that again."
Did I screw up?
...Even as I thought that, I clung to any straw and asked,
"Don't you have any worries, Aebom?"
"Me? Well..."
Han Aebom paused, trying to brush it off casually. She stared at her paper cup of soju, her fingers cutely curling.
"...Actually, yeah. I do have worries."
For a second, I nearly yelled Eureka.
"Since you opened up first, Hyunwoo. I should do the same to be fair. Or maybe... I want to."
I gazed at her quietly, urging her on. Han Aebom gave a wry smile and spoke.
"Truth is, I boldly declared I'd make it as a novelist and ran away from home."
Huh? Novelist?
"And just recently, I got spectacularly rejected from the contest I submitted to so proudly."
It didn't seem as serious as I'd imagined...
"N... novels?"
"Yes."
"From the way you say it, it sounds like a sudden decision. Was there... a reason?"
At my question, Han Aebom froze for a moment. She even stopped breathing.
Then, quietly, her lips parted.
"Childish rebellion... or maybe fulfilling my dead brother's dream in his place. Or if not that."
A voice more chilling than ever flowed from her mouth.
"Revenge against the family that killed him. Who knows."
At that instant, thunder crashed outside with a boom, and heavy rain began pouring down.