Chapter 85
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 85
Chapter Title: Let's Calm Down First
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Wait, let's calm down first.
I needed to figure out why things had escalated like this. Only then could I step in and stop it. So... I called my mom because Parents' Day was coming up. I'd promised to thank her for giving birth to me healthy, but I hadn't done it yet.
Then Mom asked if something tough was going on lately. She worried if something bad had happened with that girl from my previous call. And today, the albums Oh Hana ordered had arrived, right? No, I called after that.
Damn. How could I stay calm?
"How can a girl who lives without a thought in her head smile like that all the time?!"
"Now you're bitching about other people smiling? Mind your own business and stay out of it!"
"You?! Did you just say 'you'?! That's it! I've told you a million times, and you still won't fix it!"
"You told me to drop the formal speech if you do!"
"A bitch who can't even follow basic manners!"
"What are you gonna do about it?!"
Han Aebom and Oh Hana were right in front of me, grabbing each other's hair and tugging away. How the hell was I supposed to calm this down?
'More importantly, watch yourself. I felt it again this time, but women who act all fine and quiet end up exploding even bigger.'
Damn. Thinking about it, this was all the store manager's fault. That guy must have dropped some B-movie horror foreshadowing, and that's what sparked this mess.
I could picture the store manager looking wronged in my imagination, but that wasn't my problem. What mattered was blaming it on him cleared my head a bit.
Anyway, I had to stop them before more hair ended up yanked out on the floor!
"Okay, okay, both of you, calm down first. Let's talk it ouuuaargh...!"
"Let go, Hyunwoo! This bitch needs a proper beatdown to become human! How is that even a person? It's a beast! Just a beast that can speak human words!"
"Ha! Who's lecturing who right now? Worry about yourself! A bitch who can't even smile as happily as me!"
Even in the middle of this, they kept mouthing off while flailing their arms. Stuck in the middle, all those wild swings landed squarely on me.
Playing punching bag to vent their anger might work, but it'd be way too unfair for me.
"Agh! Seriously. Both of you, calm down!"
I finally used my superior stamina and strength to hug both Han Aebom and Oh Hana tight, locking their movements.
What can I say? It was like what my cousin brother used to do whenever I burst into tears as a kid.
Makes me think you really learn important stuff young. He'd always scoop me up and pat my back whenever I cried.
The difference in my case? After hugging them like this, I was sneakily groping their breasts. I'd admitted it before, but even now, satisfying my personal desires in a moment like this proved I was a total perv.
Fine, I admit it. Damn. Fuck. Goddamn it. What can I do? If it's a sin, blame my parents for making me this way... Damn, I can't even say that.
This is on me. My fault. I'm the perv here.
"Hngh! H-Hyunwoo! What are you...! Hauk! S-Stop that...!"
"Oppa, this isn't the time to grope breasts, ahn, ahng!"
For a split second, I wished they'd keep fighting. The sensation of kneading those overflowing breasts while holding them in a headlock like this was insane. No one who's never tried it could understand.
You have to have at least C-cups for that sideways grope to feel this good.
Oh Hana and Han Aebom definitely had amazing breasts. Though Yoon Sua still wins in that department.
'And Yoon Sua's watching this whole scene with keen interest even now.'
Like I said before, that woman has some subtle fourth-dimensional madness. Whether it's her terminal illness or her congenital condition, I don't know. But she's definitely not normal.
"Okay! If you two don't calm down, I'll keep kneading these until you do."
"That's ridiculous, hngh, r-really, now's not the time, haang, haaah."
"You just wanna grope our boobs, kyaaang, haang, d-don't pinch the nipples... haang, it tickles but, hng, my pussy's getting wet."
I always feel this, but certain elements play a huge role in sexual pleasure.
Han Aebom and Oh Hana fighting. No sane guy would suddenly start groping in a situation like this.
...And then he does. With owners whose up-close beauty rivals reincarnations of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. That says it all. Why are these breasts so soft and squishy? Seriously.
At least twelve times softer than a hot steamed bun fresh from the steamer, yet so bouncy.
"Calm down. No choice. If I don't do this, you'll keep yanking hair, right? Who's cleaning the floor? Yoon Sua's already working hard without a vacuum, just sweeping with a broom? Who's mopping? Yoon Sua, scrubbing like she's missing her grandma back home?"
I spouted plausible nonsense on reflex while maximizing the moment, kneading their breasts nonstop.
Damn, groping boobs makes me wanna slip a hand under their armpits too.
"Ah... I'm fine with it. I like cleaning."
Yoon Sua, stay out of this.
"......"
"......"
Things had quieted down a bit. Honestly, the only one moving now was me, busily kneading away.
"We're calm now. Let go."
"...Yep."
Honestly, it was way more chilling and cold than when Oh Hana was cursing me out. If I'd kept going, she might've chopped off my wrists.
'Still, nice breasts.'
I felt a bit proud too. Besides stopping the fight by hugging them, how many guys in the world get to grope in a situation like that?
"Ahem! Let's hear how this started first. Not to decide who's wrong, just talk it out. Talk."
"No. Why're you looking at me then, Oppa? I feel kinda awkward? My butt's gonna bruise?"
"......"
Maybe because I'd heard she graduated from beauty school. I quietly lowered my gaze to check Han Aebom out.
"I don't think I said anything wrong."
"Ha?! Sis, you're still saying that?! What did I do wrong?!"
"Fight again, and I'll grope your pussies next time."
The heated tension cooled instantly at my words. Too much, actually. Was pussy too extreme?
Feeling their glares, I quickly spoke up.
"Okay! Let's talk one at a time. One by one! Things were peaceful until I left, right? Yeah?"
"Yes. Well..."
"Not really peaceful? Honestly, even with Oppa around lately... Hah. Never mind."
Oh Hana glanced at Han Aebom as if to say something, then sighed deeply and shut her mouth. Leaning against the wall, chewing her lips—she looked like she desperately craved a smoke. Her face screamed more than a day or two of stress.
'Come to think of it, she's not the type to hide smoking from me.'
She'd declare she was smoking openly with a bright smile. But she'd sneak one to relieve stress.
Were there roommate tensions I hadn't noticed? How oblivious was I?
"Phew, anyway, today was the day the Genesis Eleven fan-sign event entry albums Oh Hana ordered arrived, right?"
The last scene I saw was that. The CDs she'd sung about endlessly for the fan-sign entry arrived in a whole box.
Oh Hana carefully opening each pricey album over 30,000 won, collecting entry tickets one by one. Yoon Sua sincerely cheering her on to win. Watching that, I thought of Parents' Day and headed out to call before forgetting.
"And when I got back, you two were screaming and grabbing hair."
What? I'd summed it up neatly, but nothing was solved.
"Aebom?"
"Nothing to say. I don't think I said anything wrong."
Seeing Han Aebom repeat the same line, Oh Hana flared up again.
"Argh! Can't say it straight 'cause even she knows she's guilty! Fine, if you can't say it, I will!"
"......"
Han Aebom just bit her lip quietly at Oh Hana's shout. I gestured for Oh Hana to keep going. No story, no progress. And we couldn't stay awkward in one room forever.
"I was humming while opening CDs, and at first, she said it was noisy. Then she said this isn't a solo space—it's cramped already—how could I bring in so much stuff."
"That... wasn't wrong... maybe?"
Oh Hana flinched a bit. Honestly, our studio was spacious for one, but stuff piles up and shrinks it fast. That's why our rules: no unnecessary junk, toss unused stuff without regret.
"Fine, say that's my fault. But it's my money, my CDs—starts with 'Do you need to buy this many?' then 'Useless,' 'No financial sense!' Maybe not wrong at first. But later? Just to piss me off! I'm not late on rent or groceries!"
Words poured out like machine-gun fire. First time I'd seen Oh Hana talk this long in one breath. She was seriously pissed, rare for her.
The girl who handled Crazy Cow Girl's tantrums coolly got properly scratched by Han Aebom.
'Strictly speaking... she might not be wrong.'
From a normal person's view, buying a box of CDs for one fan-sign is excessive. Oh Hana's tame, though. I saw purchase logs for this Genesis Eleven event—worst was 8.24 million won solo, even after discounts.
Can't even listen to that many; reselling's best, but half-price tops. From a 29-year-old eldest's view, it's impulse-buy by a financially clueless kid.
But Oh Hana wasn't wrong either. Her money, her buy. No harm to others.
She paid rent and groceries on time. What she does with her cash is her freedom.
'Yeah. Like paying for sex with Oh Hana, like me.'
Tsk. I smacked my lips. Bitter taste.
If Han Aebom were some random fan-club stranger, it'd be fine. But we'd lived together months, dinners, good memories.
Friction like this between us felt awkward.
"Uh, Aebom..."
The moment I cautiously called.
"I didn't say anything wrong! No apology!"
Han Aebom shot up, stormed to the bathroom, slammed the door. I blanked out. What, not elementary school?
Seeing it, Oh Hana exploded too.
"Oh yeah?! I always bend over backward, so you see me as a total pushover! Think about it! With that smart head, you'll see who's wrong! Hmph!"
Yoon Sua, who'd watched it all, didn't seem surprised.
"Oh my, oh my."
She still saw this as one of Oh Hana's fascinating shows.
I'm going nuts. Damn.
As I clutched my head in agony.
[A quest has been given.]
Is this supposed to cheer me up? Fuck.