Chapter 3
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: Blonde Roommate Oh Hana
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I was flustered, sure.
But more than that, the woman standing in front of me was so stunningly beautiful that I couldn't tear my eyes away.
A celebrity? An idol? Ah, aren't those basically the same thing?
I'd always thought blonde hair only suited foreigners, but apparently, some Korean women could pull it off too.
Blondes were something even real celebrities only tried occasionally, right?
No, forget that.
She actually came here after checking that Naver Cafe post? To live together? With me? For real?
My head was spinning.
"Hey! How long are you just gonna stand there like an idiot? Move aside. It's cold out here. And grab my suitcase, mister."
Mister...
That snapped me out of it. I kinda got why aunties get mad when you call them ma'am. Was I really at the age where people called me mister already?
I'd been working the convenience store night shift, and even the crazy customers called me "young man."
While my mind raced with all sorts of thoughts,
the blonde beauty had already kicked off her shoes and barged right in. She was overflowing with energy in every way.
"Ugh! What the—it's freezing in here too."
"Well, yeah, I didn't turn the heat on. You think an apartment stays warm without heat?"
Whatever, just do what she says for now.
I hauled her suitcase inside. Even the suitcase was cute—bright pink, covered in colorful, stylish stickers.
I could never pull something like that off. But it'd look perfect with that blonde hair.
"Ugh, I should've gotten it hot. My bad. I went with iced Americano 'cause it felt like 'freeze to death' vibes."
"Oh, uh, the electric blanket's already on."
"Whoa! You should've led with that, mister!"
At the mention of the electric blanket, she dove straight into the bedding I'd just been lying in—coat and all—like a golden retriever.
Did everyone act like this as kids? That much boundless energy? And jumping into a strange guy's bed like that...
'Is this okay?'
Honestly, in my fantasies, it sounded great.
I'd imagined some girl showing up, thinking it'd be a dream come true, all excited and whatnot.
But now that it was actually happening, reality hit different.
Panic mode.
A touch of fear, even.
Maybe I couldn't just relax. What if she pinned something on me here? Wouldn't she turn around and report me?
She might even be here aiming for that.
I was starting to understand those frustrating rom-com protagonists with no game.
When a real girl gets close, unless your head's empty, you can't just charge in blindly.
I needed to talk it out... have a proper conversation first.
So...
"Uh, hey. I'm Kim Hyunwoo, 29. What's your name?"
"Huh? I'm Oh Hana, 22. Kinda sounds Japanese, right? Everyone says that."
She volunteered all that unasked-for TMI.
A quick mental search for "Oh Hana" brought up the Japanese word for "flower."
"You can call me Hanachan, mister."
"Sorry, but could you not call me mister?"
"Huh? You're not?"
"29's still a bit young for that..."
"Hmm. Fine. Oppa Hyunwoo."
Just swapping "mister" for "oppa" changed the vibe completely.
My heart was pounding.
No.
This wasn't the time for instinct. I needed to think rationally.
"Hey, Hanachan."
"Yeah?"
"Sorry to ask this after you came all the way here, but... are you really gonna... you know, live here?"
The words wouldn't come easy.
Live under the same roof as a guy she just met today? For real?
"Oh, yeah, cohabitation! Gotta do it. Absolutely!"
Her determination was off the charts.
She was dead set on it.
Why, though? Was she scheming to scam me somehow? I'd heard there were tons of those lately.
Cold sweat trickled down my back.
Then Oh Hana shouted,
"You know this place is perfect? Just four subway stops to the broadcasting stations—ten minutes tops. Music show buildings are all twenty minutes away by subway, right in the city center! Prime location! And for a one-room, it's huge. I was crammed in a 4.5-pyeong place with a friend until recently. Eleven pyeong? This is basically a palace!"
Her energy was hard to keep up with.
Broadcasting stations, huh.
So she was a celebrity? But celebrities doing something this risky... scandal-prone... didn't make sense.
"Wait... hold on. I'm having trouble following. Bottom line: is it okay for you to just move into a guy's place like this?"
"Yeah, sure. Back in the day, I slept side-by-side in the same room with my older brother and little brother."
"That's family. I'm a total stranger—a guy stranger."
This wasn't working.
I needed to be more direct. Was I being too polite? Or was Oh Hana's head really full of flowers? I was confused.
"What if I... get the wrong idea?"
"Then I'd report you."
True.
"What if... I make it so you can't report?"
"Possible? Really? Even if you locked me up, one scream and the neighbors next door or the one after would call the cops. Plus, I'm pretty popular—tons of friends. If I go radio silent, they'd come looking."
True.
Thinking about it, actually committing a crime against a woman in reality wasn't that easy. Unless I was willing to risk my whole life for one shot.
Sudden embarrassment hit me hard.
Was I the only one overthinking the creepy stuff? She probably hadn't even considered it.
"N-no, but even if not, wouldn't it be awkward for both of us? No partitions here. It's big for a one-room, but cramped for two, and putting up dividers would be weird."
"Oh, right... like changing clothes, or when I'm showering. Or laundry stuff?"
Was a seven-year age gap really this huge?
Generational divide.
Why was she so open?
"Psh, whatever. It's fine. Middle and high school were co-ed for me. Guys saw or whatever—I didn't care, changed into gym clothes right there. Not some innocent girl, so it doesn't faze me~ A quick peek won't wear it out."
Mind-blowingly bold.
"Pfft. Mister, at 29... nah, forget it. Anyway, you get used to it if you're around it a lot."
I figured porn trained you for that.
Reality proved otherwise.
In porn, even hot girls spreading it got boring after a while.
But a beauty like Oh Hana saying this stuff? Blood rushed to my head—and elsewhere it shouldn't.
"There. We're good now, right? We can live together? It's not a bad deal for you. Right, oppa?"
Yeah.
Not bad at all. Might even add some spark to life.
'I get why guys with real girlfriends wanna give them their liver and gall bladder.'
Just having a girl this pretty around? I'd skip meals three times a day to buy her gifts.
Was I too quick to fall?
Not love, just... she was gorgeous, so I liked her.
"Heehee! Honestly, oppa, you look super nice. Totally fine. Oh, oppa!"
"Yeah?"
Oppa this, oppa that—such a sweet sound.
"Those bromides on the wall? Can I hang some up too? On the wall!"
"Uh? Hang... them?"
"Yes! Thank you! Oh, and drop the formal talk. Feels weird with you being seven years older... not mister, oppa... but still, you using polite speech makes me feel bad. Hehe!"
What had her so giddy? She jumped up beaming and flung open her suitcase.
"......"
Whoa.
Inside was pure chaos—stuff exploding out the moment it opened.
Cute clothes everywhere... mixed with underwear, but she didn't care, tossing junk aside and pulling out eleven precious bromides.
Eleven. For real.
Each one over a meter tall. Like blackout curtains.
"Oppa! Oppa! Know who these guys are?"
"Uh... yeah. Genesis Eleven... right?"
"Kyaa! Knew it—our oppas know the famous ones."
Yeah.
Famous as hell.
Even outside Korea, hardly anyone didn't know Genesis Eleven. Top male idol group.
So famous, constant collabs and ads.
They'd done convenience store merch a few times—stuck in my memory. Knew some names.
"Who's that one... Not super familiar. Just a bit."
I emphasized "a bit" and named them carefully.
"Jumin. Hoi. Elix... Riki."
"Kyaaaa! Riki! Riki!!"
The second I said Riki, Oh Hana's pent-up energy exploded.
"Riki-oppa's my ultimate bias. Know what 'bias' means? There was even an anime about it once. Anyway, I'm in their fan club, Luxury, and Riki's my top there too! I watch all his variety shows, hit every handshake event. Want a CD? I got like a hundred Genesis albums at home!"
Ugh...
Totally obvious.
No acting could fake that. Oh Hana was a die-hard male idol stan—serious levels.
"Oh! Honestly, I picked this one-room for the location, but also to save cash. Albums, fan club stuff—money's tight."
Makes sense.
Even office workers would struggle buying a hundred albums per release.
"Heh heh, hng."
After gushing about Riki a few times, she was hyped—plastered bromides all over the walls.
Didn't notice before,
but surrounded by male idol posters? Super weird vibe. Like they were watching.
"Ah, oppa."
"Yeah?"
She'd curled back into her electric-blanket hedgehog form and asked,
"Taking more people?"
"Yeah."
"Ehh, no fair. Can't we just do two?"
Scary in a whole different way.
"Two people: 300,000 won. Three: 200,000. Four: 150,000."
"......"
"You need the money, right?"
She nodded without hesitation.
"Fair point..."
"Ah, Hana...?"
"Yeah, just Hana's fine, Hyunwoo-oppa."
In a way, it was lucky my first roommate was someone bright and friendly like Oh Hana.
Put my mind at ease.
"Sorry, but if we're doing this... the 300,000 won? Can I get it now? If more roommates join, I'll refund 100,000 right away. Oh, gotta talk utilities too."
Truth was, I was behind on rent—those 300,000 were a lifesaver.
But.
"...Hehe, sorry! Broke as a joke right now! I'll get a part-time gig and pay you ASAP!"
Watching her beg with that nasal aegyo, hands clasped, a tiny worry crept in: was this really okay?