Epilogue 3
Translator: RaidenTL
Epilogue 3
For days, Yeon-ju shut herself in her room and refused to come out. Her door was locked tight. She wouldn't eat, and she wouldn't speak to anyone.
Through it all, Mrs. Na’s only thought was to take Yeon-ju to the clinic. She had absolutely no intention of letting her daughter have the baby.
Having lost her husband when Yeon-ju was only two, Mrs. Na was a woman who had the grueling hardships of her life etched into her very being. She had survived simply by enduring, by putting one foot in front of the other until she’d somehow made it this far—but it was not a life she wanted to pass on to the next generation. Unwilling to hand down the unspeakable sorrow of her years to her daughter, Mrs. Na planned to give Yeon-ju a few days of space before trying to persuade her.
That day marked exactly one week since their world had been turned upside down. With no way of knowing what Yeon-ju was doing behind her locked door, Mrs. Na stepped into the kitchen after finishing work.
She touched the dishes turned upside down in the sink. Feeling a rice bowl that was still damp, she let out a quiet sigh of relief. At least she's eating. She hasn't been skipping her meals.
She stared blankly at the tightly shut door. A full week had passed. Tomorrow, no matter what, she would take Yeon-ju to the clinic.
Just then.
"Ugh!"
The door flew open and Yeon-ju rushed out, a hand clamped over her mouth. Startled, Mrs. Na's eyes widened.
Gagging, Yeon-ju ran straight into the bathroom and began to throw up. Crouched over the toilet, her back convulsed as she emptied her stomach. The violent sounds shocked Mrs. Na, who hurried into the bathroom after her.
"Oh dear, are you okay? Are you alright?"
Mrs. Na asked, rubbing her daughter's back. Instead of an answer, another violent wave of retching followed. Watching her daughter's veins bulge as if they might burst and her earlobes turn bright red, Mrs. Na kept rubbing her back without stopping.
After a moment, the vomiting subsided. Exhausted, Yeon-ju clung to the toilet bowl, breathing heavily. As Yeon-ju reached out with a trembling hand to flush, Mrs. Na reached over and did it for her.
Whoosh—
The half-digested rice swirled away. Mrs. Na squeezed her eyes shut, her hand still resting on Yeon-ju's back.
Memories of her own morning sickness when she was pregnant with Yeon-ju came rushing back—how even a sip of water would make her gag at the slightest fishy smell.
"Mom… I'm okay… You can stop now…"
Her throat burned as if it had been scoured by stomach acid.
"I'm fine… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Mom…"
"Is it morning sickness?"
"I think so, I don't know… My stomach just keeps churning, like I'm carsick…"
"What did you eat?"
"Just… rice mixed with water… I couldn't stomach anything else…"
Hearing that she had eaten plain rice with water because she couldn't keep any side dishes down made Mrs. Na sigh. Hadn't she been the exact same way? In the distant past, she remembered living on nothing but scorched rice soup for three months straight.
She had eaten and thrown up, eaten and thrown up, until her esophagus felt raw and shredded. She had no appetite, and the very act of eating terrified her, but she forced it down anyway—terrified the baby in her womb would have nothing to nourish it, terrified that if she didn't swallow at least a spoonful, her baby would starve.
Mrs. Na squatted down on the bathroom floor. Looking at Yeon-ju, who hung her head as if she didn't even have the strength to lift it, she spoke in a voice heavy with tragic certainty.
"You haven't even given birth yet, and it's this hard from the very start. This is what you're signing up for."
Yeon-ju’s head sank even lower.
"You think this is the hardest part? This is nothing. Absolutely nothing. Once you give birth, it doesn't end with an upset stomach and a dizzy head. Do you have any idea how hard it is to raise a child? How do you plan to handle that all by yourself?"
Tears dripped into the toilet bowl. Watching Yeon-ju grit her teeth and sob, her shoulders trembling, Mrs. Na began to rub her back again. Wondering if there was anything left to throw up, she gently caressed her daughter's back with her warm hand.
"Are you really going to have it?"
Yeon-ju nodded slowly. The tears fell faster.
"Can't you just listen to your mother? Just this once. Please?"
"I'm sorry… Mom, I'm sorry…"
"…"
"It's my baby… How can I do that to my own child, Mom…?"
Lately, she was hearing more apologies from her daughter than she had in her entire life. Mrs. Na stared at Yeon-ju, whose fists were clenched tight, and let out a long sigh.
My baby. Yes, my baby.
Just as you were precious to me from the moment you existed, your baby must already be precious to you. It must be a sad, overwhelming love. If I, the one who gave birth to you, couldn't understand that… who could?
"Sigh…"
Mrs. Na let out a heavy, worry-filled sigh and slowly stood up.
She knew, deep down, that she would never break Yeon-ju's will.
"Don't you dare resent me later."
…It felt as if her heart were bleeding.
"You just try it. If I ever hear you say you should've listened to me back then, just you wait. It'll be the death of us both."
Stopping on her way out, Mrs. Na glanced back. She tossed the question bluntly toward Yeon-ju, who was still hunched over the toilet, crying.
"Is there anything you want to eat?"
Yeon-ju shook her head.
After leaving the bathroom, Mrs. Na made white rice porridge every single day from then on, until her daughter's morning sickness finally disappeared.
* * *
Eight months pregnant.
Mrs. Na, working at her bedding shop as usual, looked up as Yeon-ju opened the door and walked in.
"You're here?"
Packaging a blanket for a customer, Mrs. Na spoke loudly to the hesitant Yeon-ju. A couple of middle-aged market women sitting nearby turned to look.
"Oh, Yeon-ju's here?"
"Hello."
"Hello to you. It's been a while, Yeon-ju."
It was Ms. Lee of the Dakgangjeong Shop and Ms. Hwang of the Rice Cake Shop. As Yeon-ju greeted them self-consciously, their eyes naturally drifted down to her stomach. Seeing how round her belly had become, Ms. Hwang clicked her tongue.
"What are you standing there for? Come over here and sit."
Mrs. Na called out to Yeon-ju, who was hovering by the entrance. To force her daughter out of the house—since she hadn't gone anywhere but the clinic for the past eight months—Mrs. Na had summoned her to the market.
If she was going to have the baby, Mrs. Na wanted her to hold her head high. She needed to trample the world's harsh judgments underfoot. Without that much grit, her future would be unbearably cold.
"My, your belly is really showing now. Boy or a girl?"
When Ms. Lee of the Dakgangjeong Shop asked, Yeon-ju replied in a small voice.
"It's a boy."
"Oh, a boy? Well, aren't you lucky, Mrs. Na? Getting a healthy grandson just like that. And becoming a grandmother so young, too."
The subtle mockery in her laugh rubbed Mrs. Na the wrong way. Organizing the bedding, she let out a sharp breath and tied the silk wrapping cloth with a tight, firm knot.
"Hey, Yeon-ju. You'd better treat your mother well, you hear? Your mom has practically lived on bragging about you. You need to know that. Be good to her, okay?"
"Yes."
As Yeon-ju answered in a small voice once more, Mrs. Na straightened her back. She let out a short breath, just as the low murmurs of the women's conversation drifted over.
"This is why you can't let girls run wild. It takes a split second for a family to be ruined."
"She'll hear you. Keep your voice down."
"What did you just say?"
When Mrs. Na asked, her eyes blazing, Ms. Lee of the Dakgangjeong Shop smoothed her hair and hesitated.
"I asked what you just said."
"Oh, you heard? Why are you getting so angry, Mrs. Na? I only said it because I feel bad for you. Don't pay it any mind."
"Why would you feel bad for me? Go on, speak up."
Mrs. Na marched over and stood right in front of the two women. They glanced at her warily before deciding they might as well get it over with.
"Well, think about it. How can anyone not say something when a girl that young is walking around with a big belly? Especially with no father in the picture. I'm raising a daughter myself, so I only said it because it breaks my heart."
"A bitch raising a daughter shouldn't be running her mouth like that. No, whether it's a daughter or a son, how can any mother say such things? And right in front of the kid, no less?"
"Mrs. Na! That's a bit much, don't you think? Calling me a bitch? Did you just— screech!"
Ms. Lee, who had been flapping her gums, shrieked and jumped up from her chair as a splash of water hit her face. Mrs. Na had thrown the contents of a paper cup she’d just filled for herself.
"Are you out of your mind, you crazy hag?! Have you lost it?"
As Ms. Lee raised her voice, Mrs. Na lifted her chin.
"Yeah, I've lost it. But if I'm crazy, what does that make you, running your mouth like that?"
"Hey! You're the one who couldn't keep a leash on her own daughter! Why take it out on me?! You should've raised her right! How dare you throw a tantrum!"
Wiping water from her face, Ms. Lee looked up, her expression twisted with irritation. Then, she sneered, as if glad to finally let it all out.
"You used to brag about your daughter until your mouth was dry, and look how that turned out. Serves you right. You don't know, do you? Every time you walk by, people in the market point fingers behind your back. They say the bedding shop owner's daughter is having a baby and doesn't even know who the father is. You had no idea, did you? Huh?"
"Stop it, Ms. Lee. Stop. I said stop!"
The rice cake shop owner tried to hold her back, but Ms. Lee only screamed louder, absolutely furious at having been doused with cold water.
"Is being an unwed mother something to be proud of? How dare you walk around with your head held high? No wonder the daughter turned out like that with a mother like this. Ugh, this is disgusting, seriously— screeech!"
This time, it was her hair. With a vicious grip, Mrs. Na grabbed Ms. Lee by the hair and shook her back and forth.
"Yeah! I don't know how big of a sin it is not to keep a leash on my daughter! But since I've already sinned, I might as well teach you a lesson. What's one more sin? If I raised my daughter wrong, then you've lived your whole damn life wrong! You hear me?!"
"Let go! Let go of me, you crazy bitch!"
The shop instantly descended into chaos. Neatly stacked blankets tumbled to the floor, but Mrs. Na had no intention of letting go, shaking the woman violently.
"Mom… Mom, don't do this…"
"Let go! I'm going to tear this bitch apart and go to jail, so let go! Let go!"
"Mom… Mom…"
"Oh dear, Yeon-ju's mom! Let go and talk! You're going to pull all of Nari's mom's hair out!"
Ms. Hwang of the Rice Cake Shop and Yeon-ju desperately tried to intervene, finally managing to pull Mrs. Na away. A clump of Ms. Lee's hair was already ripped out.
.
.
.
The police arrived, and a massive scene ensued. Amidst the crowd of market merchants who had gathered to watch, Mrs. Na was escorted into a police car.
Even at the station, Mrs. Na didn't say a word. She simply listened as Ms. Lee hysterically demanded they throw her in jail.
Only after the Fruit Shop Owner, the eldest merchant and president of the market association, arrived did mediation begin. As befitting a respected elder, he scolded and persuaded them both, barely managing to broker a settlement.
By the time they left the police station, the sky was pitch black.
Trudging home, Mrs. Na glanced back. Yeon-ju, who had been following a short distance behind, froze in her tracks.
Mrs. Na took a deep breath and gestured for her to come closer.
"Are you a puppy? Why are you trailing behind me like that?"
"Huh? Oh, okay."
As Yeon-ju caught up, Mrs. Na started walking again. For a mother and daughter who used to be so close, it had been a long time since they had walked side by side. Lately, even having a proper conversation felt like a memory from a lifetime ago.
"Yeon-ju."
It had been a while since she had called her by name, too.
"Yeah?"
"Your mother is ignorant and only knows how to use her strength, so I fight with my body instead of my words. But you can't be like that. You understand?"
"Ah, yes."
"If anyone says nasty things to you, just think to yourself, 'That pathetic fool doesn't know any better,' and leave it at that. Then you come tell me. I'll go and rip every single hair out of their head."
Mrs. Na gently reached out and took Yeon-ju's hand, pulling her close.
"By the way, what's the baby's prenatal name?"
"Ah, Byeol. It's Byeol, Mom."
"Byeol. That's pretty. Even the name is beautiful. I just know a beautiful little one is going to be born."
For the first time in eight months, the mother held her daughter's hand again. Matching her pace to her heavily pregnant daughter's slow steps, they walked the rest of the way home together.
That day, Mrs. Na paid 1.5 million won in settlement fees. She closed down her bedding shop as soon as Han-byeol was born.
It was the beginning of co-parenting.