Chapter 84: Not Yet
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 84: Not Yet
Without giving her a moment to think, Eun-seong pulled her close, his sudden intensity catching her completely off guard. The broom slipped from Yeon-ju's hand.
"Ah…!"
The handle clattered sharply against the floor, the sound echoing in her ears for only a fleeting second. She couldn't avoid the touch of his lips, nor could she stop him as his tongue swept inside.
Though his approach had been fierce, the kiss itself was surprisingly gentle, his tongue tracing hers with an almost solemn reverence.
Yeon-ju slowly closed her eyes. As moisture seeped into her parched, cracked lips, tears welled up. It wasn't from the dizzying rush of the kiss.
Yes. I’m alive. You’re alive.
That profound sense of relief washed over her.
Instead of wrapping his arms around her waist, Eun-seong took her hand, keeping the kiss alive. He feared she might step back if he let go—or worse, that this entire moment would vanish like a madman's dream. He gripped her fingertips tightly, desperate to maintain their connection.
After a long moment, they finally parted. As Eun-seong drew back and stood straight, Yeon-ju opened her eyes. No matter how many times she blinked, neither of them vanished. They simply stared at each other, marveling at the reality of their presence.
"I… I have to clean," Yeon-ju stammered.
This time, Eun-seong simply pulled her into his arms. She stood still, letting herself sink into his embrace as he gently stroked her back, as if soothing a child.
There was so much to say. For a moment, he didn't know where to begin.
"I saw the USB drives."
"Yes."
"I listened to all of one, and I'm watching the other. I'm taking my time, so I'm still near the beginning."
"…Yes."
Eun-seong let out a heavy sigh and squeezed her tighter. There was no way to compress the eleven years she had lost into a few minutes of conversation, but there was something far more pressing.
Holding her as if he were completely lost, he exhaled a ragged breath before finally whispering, unable to hold it back any longer.
"I'm sorry."
For three days, the two USB drives she sent had dragged Eun-seong back and forth between heaven and hell. One contained the recordings of her conversations with Tae-gon.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry…"
The other was filled with videos documenting Han-byeol's growth.
Over the past three days, Eun-seong had cast aside his own perspective and looked at the world through her eyes for the very first time.
Until now, his world had been simple: the sky was blue, and the sunset was red. His life had shone like golden thread, as if the sun would never set.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry for everything…"
While I was drunk on a glamorous life, you were living under a gray sky and a blood-red sunset. And even that was fleeting; your years were a pitch-black night where the sun never rose.
There wasn't a single chapter of your life that could be described as a green field or a blue sea—only a rough, jagged asphalt landscape dominated your existence.
"I didn't know. I really knew nothing, absolutely nothing…"
He had assumed it was just an ordinary breakup, the kind everyone goes through at least once. He had casually dismissed it, thinking, Even for a common breakup, you certainly lingered in my memory for a long time, without feeling much regret.
Yet all the while, she had endured a breakup that tore her heart out. She had remembered him every single day, feeding on a mix of despair and love that she believed she could never escape.
Unlike him, who was merely surprised to run into her again by chance, her entire world must have shattered and cracked open that day.
Eun-seong finally, truly understood.
"I'm sorry… I'm so late…"
His choked, tear-soaked voice was a low scrape against the floor.
Listening to his sorrow-filled words, Yeon-ju closed her eyes again. She hadn't shown him the videos of their child to burden his heart.
She had simply wanted to show him off. That was all. Knowing Han-byeol wouldn't be precious and beautiful only to her, she had been desperate to share him. To let him know that the grown child he’d met once had a time like this.
Look. He's beautiful, isn't he? This is when he rolled over. This is when he took his first steps. This is when he started talking, and this is when he began eating by himself. She had recorded and preserved every single detail with near-obsessive care, writing letters to him in her mind every night.
I knew I might never be able to show you, but if I didn't do at least that, the crushing weight of being utterly alone would have been too much to bear.
"It's okay. It wasn't as… as hard as you think. My days weren't only filled with sadness."
Instead, Yeon-ju patted his back.
"Han-byeol brought me so much joy. He did so many adorable things. Watching him grow, I didn't even realize how fast time was flying. It's okay. I'm really fine. I mean it…"
"I'm sorry…"
His sorrow-laden voice dissolved into a sob. Yeon-ju fought with all her might to keep the tears pooling in her eyes from falling. She felt that if she started crying too, neither of them would be able to bring an end to this overwhelming grief.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
"Why are you apologizing to me…? Look at what I did to you… Why do you keep saying sorry? Don't… Please don't do this…"
In the end, her shoulders began to tremble. She wrapped her arms tightly around his back—he who had no intention of letting her go—and they wept together, their aching chests pressed close.
Eun-seong held Yeon-ju so tightly it felt as if he wanted to pull her into his very soul. Then, like a solemn vow made to God, he whispered:
"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I'll make it all up to you. I will… I'll make up for everything…"
She held her breath.
…I knew a tsunami large enough to swallow the entire town was rushing toward us, but with my slow steps, I could not run away.
Yet, holding my hand and matching my pace, he chose not to escape alone.
Should I let him go? Before the towering waves crash over us, shouldn't I at least send him to safety?
But instead, I followed him and hid in the crevice of a small rock. I had no choice but to believe his words—that if we hid here, everything would be alright.
"Go Yeon-ju. I can't let you go now. I won't let you go, even if I die. So you should be the one to give up."
Misfortune may never let us go.
It might rise to our throats and choke us at every turn.
But what does it matter if we earn the hatred of the world?
"Alright, Im Eun-seong. I give up. You win."
I love myself.
"I want to be very happy."
And you love me.
* * *
The staff, who already knew Yeon-ju would be rejoining them, welcomed her warmly. When Yeon-ju apologized for her sudden departure, the crew members—unaware of the underlying circumstances—laughed it off, saying there was no need. They figured that a staff member, let alone the youngest assistant, transferring teams midway through a project couldn't possibly be of her own volition. It was surely the doing of the higher-ups.
As the staff welcomed her based on their own assumptions, Yeon-ju finished her greetings by handing out gimbap she had rolled herself.
"There are employees who only do what they're told, some who do well even without being told, and some who can't even do what they're told. But you're someone who takes initiative and does a great job. How could I not be thrilled to work with you?"
The Makeup Chief welcomed Yeon-ju more than anyone. Coming in early to tidy up the workspace without being asked was a habit not easily formed. To the Chief, Yeon-ju couldn't help but look incredibly endearing.
"Hey, once this project is over, do you want to come work with me?"
When the Chief casually made the offer, Yeon-ju smiled. Sitting on the sofa reading his script, Eun-seong let out a soft chuckle as he overheard their conversation. Yeon-ju waved her hands frantically, indicating it was out of the question.
"I've caused too much trouble for Director Jin. I think I need to keep working hard as the youngest assistant to make up for it. Thank you so much for the offer, Chief, but I'm sorry."
"Sigh, Director Jin is so lucky. If things don't work out, just come over to our agency. I'll give you my business card. Don't forget, okay?"
"Yes. Thank you."
Just a few days ago, she had endured rude insults while helping a model fit clothes for a small internet shopping mall. Today, she was being scouted by one of the country's top makeup chiefs.
A bright smile spread across Yeon-ju's face at the thought of how unpredictable life could be. Perhaps because she had cried her heart out, or perhaps because of the reassuring feeling of finding her place again, the heavy, suffocating knot in her chest felt completely gone.
Wrapping up her conversation with the Chief, Yeon-ju stepped out of the dressing room area. She stole a sidelong glance at Eun-seong, who was sitting on the sofa reading his script, before quickly looking away.
Her emotions weren't as controlled as usual; they had boiled over uncontrollably this morning. At his apology, she felt the deep-seated resentment she thought would never melt finally dissolve.
She had never expected an apology, nor had she ever wanted him to acknowledge anything. Yet, the anxiety she had carried while raising their child alone, and the fear of having no one to lean on, seemed to have surfaced all the same.
Don't pay attention. Don't pay attention. Yeon-ju forced her eyes away from Eun-seong and picked up the steam iron. She needed to focus on her job. She couldn't let herself get distracted.
Just as she was pulling out the clothes she needed to organize, Eun-seong suddenly looked up from his script, picked up his phone, and spoke in an incredibly tender voice.
"Hello, son. One Star."
Son? One Star?
…Han-byeol?
Yeon-ju looked over in sheer surprise. Eun-seong offered her a warm, bright smile as he met her gaze.
"How have you been, my son?"
It seemed he had officially begun his full-on sprint.