Chapter 53
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 53
“About Han-byeol’s dad… Is it, by any chance, Im Eun-seong?”
The air in the car turned heavy, suffocating. Hae-young tacked a nervous laugh onto the end of her question. Now that the words were out, she realized just how absurd her suspicions sounded.
“No, no, Yeon-ju. I’ve just been writing a whole drama in my head these past few days. Ah, I must have too much free time. I only thought of it because you two went to the same university. I was just letting my imagination run wild.”
An embarrassed chuckle escaped her. She felt too ashamed to even look at Yeon-ju, imagining how ridiculous this must sound.
It was the first time Hae-young had ever uttered the words “Han-byeol’s dad.” She had always believed that the absence of a husband, of a father, was a topic she should neither pry into nor ask about.
She never wanted to put Yeon-ju in an awkward position. Theirs wasn’t a friendship that required sharing every secret to survive. If Yeon-ju wanted to tell her, she would do so in her own time.
That was what Hae-young had always believed, a conviction she had held throughout their precious friendship.
Yet now, it felt as though she had broken an unspoken rule. Regret washed over her the moment the question left her lips. Hae-young bit her lip, met with Yeon-ju’s complete silence. Not wanting the mood to grow any heavier, she forced a smile and raised her voice.
She turned to look at Yeon-ju.
“Yeon-ju, I was just talking. You know how people imagine things when they’re bored…”
Hae-young’s voice trailed off.
A sense of impending shock seized her. Her lips went dry, and a thick fog rolled into her mind.
“What is it, Yeon-ju? Why are you reacting like this?”
Watching Yeon-ju sit there, utterly speechless, her long, dark eyelashes fluttering, Hae-young’s heart sank.
“What is it? Why are you being like this? What does this mean? Huh? Hey, Yeon-ju.”
“…”
Honk!
The light had changed, but Hae-young remained frozen. The car behind them blared its horn impatiently. Snapping back to reality, she gripped the steering wheel with both hands.
[In thirty meters, turn right.]
The navigation system guided her toward their usual lamb skewers restaurant, but Hae-young drove aimlessly, as if she owned the entire road.
A ten-minute drive stretched into thirty, yet Yeon-ju remained silent the entire time. Trapped between an abyss of sorrow and the severed thread of hope, she seemed to finally accept that she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
* * *
The restaurant, its sign written entirely in Chinese characters, was a hidden gem known for its lamb skewers, popular among local Chinese residents and international students. The meat lacked the gamey smell typical of lamb, and the menu offered a decent variety of authentic dishes and Chinese liquor. Having traveled to China frequently for business, Hae-young had made it one of her favorite spots.
Yeon-ju had been here a few times before, dragged along by Hae-young, who always insisted on sharing her culinary discoveries. The place looked small from the outside, but stepping through the door revealed a surprisingly spacious interior. Ever since a recent feature on a TV show, finding an empty seat after seven in the evening had become nearly impossible, and long waiting lines were now a common sight.
Having made a reservation, Hae-young sat by the window with Yeon-ju. The lamb skewers arrived almost immediately, and Hae-young placed them on the automatic grill.
The skewers, a perfect balance of fat and lean meat, rotated rhythmically along the geared tracks. Hae-young ordered a bottle of Chinese soju that paired well with the food, poured herself a glass, and downed it before the meat was even cooked.
Inside the bustling restaurant, where they should have been enjoying a rare, warm chat, Yeon-ju simply closed and opened her eyes, having lost all desire for food or drink.
In that time, Hae-young emptied two more glasses. She pulled the golden-brown lamb skewers from the grill, arranged them on a plate, and slid it toward Yeon-ju.
“Let’s eat first. Even if you don’t feel like drinking, you need to eat.”
When Hae-young nudged the plate forward, Yeon-ju took it with a weak hand. But despite telling Yeon-ju to eat, Hae-young had no intention of doing so herself and refilled her empty glass.
“What on earth happened? Are you just going to stay quiet?”
The cold bite of the alcohol burned hot in her stomach. Feeling the buzz set in quickly, Hae-young let out a long breath.
Yeon-ju remained silent, and time ticked by. Knowing that pressing her wouldn’t help, Hae-young stopped talking and joined her in the silence.
“You’re right.”
How much time had passed?
Yeon-ju finally spoke.
“You’re right. He is Han-byeol’s dad.”
“Haaah…”
Feeling as if her emotions were about to spill from her eyes, Hae-young squeezed them shut, deep creases forming between her brows. Yeon-ju continued.
“We met in college. I got pregnant with Han-byeol, he went his own way without knowing, and now… things have turned out like this.”
She spoke without any particular emotion, as if reciting the ending of a boring drama. Her calm demeanor rivaled the detachment of an old soul who had seen it all, which only made it more tragic.
“So I dropped out. I had Han-byeol, and there was nothing else I could do. I just lived day by day in a daze… and then, suddenly, he was standing right in front of me again.”
Hae-young had nothing to say, and no reason to say anything. She just drank. Shock and sorrow washed over her at the same time, leaving her unsure of what to process first.
She kept gulping down her drink, sighing under the weight of it all, before finally speaking after a long silence.
“Back then… why didn’t you tell him?”
“I couldn’t.”
A deep loneliness settled over Yeon-ju’s face, which had been expressionless until now. It brought back those days—so utterly bleak and overwhelming.
“Once his number was gone, there was no way to reach him. His face was plastered all over TV and the internet. I saw him everywhere… but I couldn’t get to him.”
“…”
“No, actually, I don’t think I tried that hard to find him, either. He was doing so well. He had finally grabbed hold of his dream… how could I just show up and…”
Yeon-ju barely managed to swallow some cold water. There weren’t many ways to soothe the fire turning her insides to ash.
Yet, strangely, the more she spoke, the slower her heart beat.
“That’s why I didn’t want to bring Han-byeol near him. That was the reason I opposed the movie casting at first.”
“Ah…”
Hae-young let out a soft groan as the pieces fell into place. Feeling as though everything happening to Yeon-ju was her fault, she was overcome with self-reproach and misery.
“So you broke up without him ever knowing you were pregnant?”
“Yes. Back then, CEO Min Tae-gon told me it would be best to let him go.”
“Ah… Oh, god…”
“Of course, it wasn’t just because of that. At the time, I also thought it was the right thing to do.”
“…”
“Even now, I think I did the right thing. That hasn’t changed.”
It felt like the riddles were being solved one by one. Hae-young let out a heavy sigh, different from before, and took another drink.
No matter the era, dating was always a sensitive issue in the entertainment industry. While one couldn’t justify an agency’s interference, it was something that happened countless times behind closed doors.
Entertainment was a business of pouring massive sums of money into grooming people. No one in the industry wanted trouble. Hae-young had survived a long time in this chaotic world where stars rose and fell overnight. She had surely seen all kinds of ugly things during her career.
While she could understand CEO Min’s position—having to tear apart two passionate young lovers—the matter of Han-byeol was an entirely different story.
The more she thought about it, the more maddening it became. What do we do? The question spun in circles, but she couldn’t picture a way forward.
“Yeon-ju. You should have told me…”
Yeon-ju lowered her head.
“You should have told me, of all people. Keeping it all bottled up inside… how could you… how…”
Hae-young bowed her head, unable to finish. She still didn’t know which of the overwhelming emotions to address first, but—
“How did you get through it…? How did you never show a single sign… how…”
The guilt of dragging her into this world.
“It’s driving me crazy, it’s absolutely driving me crazy…”
The guilt of not noticing sooner.
Tears began to fall, and Hae-young quickly pulled out some tissues. With Yeon-ju sitting right there, holding back her own tears until her neck flushed red, she knew she couldn’t break down. No, I can’t be like this.
“Ugh, sorry. Let’s eat. You haven’t had a single bite. I went out of my way to make a reservation and bring you here… and you haven’t… you haven’t eaten anything… making me worry… why are you only drinking water…”
Her face crumbled again.
As Hae-young mumbled with her head hung low, Yeon-ju offered a hollow smile. Her lifeless, detached eyes held no expectations, which was heartbreaking to see.
“At first, for a while after meeting him again, I hoped—whether by coincidence or fate—that he would notice.”
“…”
“I wished he would recognize his child at a glance. I hoped that there really was such a thing as inescapable destiny, and that he would recognize him.”
A selfish part of me quietly dreamed.
That you would recognize him. That you would realize the child standing before you is ours.
What if you were the one to discover this massive secret of my life, one I could never bring myself to tell you?
“But not anymore. Now, I just pray that nothing happens between us.”
…A futile wish.
“Han-byeol is my son, my mom’s only grandson, and your only nephew whom you adore so much.”
“…”
“I think that’s how it should be.”
“Yeon-ju…”
Leaving Hae-young to her distress, Yeon-ju smiled faintly.
She stared at the liquor bottle as if debating a drink, but then averted her gaze. Even without alcohol, she didn’t think she could handle her churning stomach.
She smiled as brightly as she could at Hae-young, who was watching her with uncontrollable sorrow. Then, she picked up a lamb skewer that had already gone dry.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. But now that I’ve said it, I feel so relieved. Unni, let’s eat.”
“What are you going to do… What are you going to do…”
“It’s okay. Unni, I’m fine. Once filming is over, everything will go back to the way it was.”
“…”
“Right now, it just feels like I’m in a dream, so I think I’ll take my time waking up.”
Yeon-ju stuffed her mouth with lamb skewers until her cheeks were full. She chewed the meat, which had lost all taste and texture, as if it were the most delicious thing in the world, and poured more soju into Hae-young’s empty glass.
The poorly chewed meat felt like it was catching in her throat, sitting heavy in her chest, but Yeon-ju kept eating without pause. It was as if she were trying to fill the cold, empty space her secret had left behind.
Like a withered leaf, starved of sunlight, desperately struggling not to fall.