Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 1. Home
Delivery apps are on the same level as the pyramids.
That’s my conclusion.
And I am fighting to bring delivery apps back to life.
You might think that sounds insane, but the revival of delivery apps is synonymous with the revival of humanity.
Stable public order, advanced communication technology and transportation, invisible collaboration and division of labor, sufficient supply and demand. All of these intertwined, this is civilization’s pinnacle.
Just as the pyramid was the crystallization of the Egyptian Empire’s technology and social advancement, the delivery app is the culmination of every technology of the modern era.
At the same time, it’s the golden monument of human civilization that fulfills mankind’s most basic desire in the most comfortable space, with the least effort.
I realized that fact around the time I had spent about a hundred years rolling around in this godforsaken world.
* * *
My whole body was sticky. Monster blood, flesh, and damp mud mixed together, covering me like armor.
The stench was so horrible that my sense of smell had long been paralyzed.
Even so… I’d finally made it this far.
Beneath my feet lay a massive crystal, emitting an ominous red glow.
Inside it, something unknown writhed grotesquely.
The red mass, half gas, half liquid, twisted and squirmed like thousands of tangled mollusks, radiating a sinister light.
Now, I can finally go home.
Just that thought alone made my heart pound uncontrollably.
What should I do first when I get back?
Of course, a steaming bowl of gukbap (rice soup).
With lots of sundae (Korean blood sausage) and head meat, all soaked in a fiery red sauce… Ha, just imagining it makes my mouth water.
“Please, hurry, Sir Calvert! Once you destroy that, this world will be at peace again!”
While savoring the imaginary taste of sundae gukbap, a fluffy white ball appeared in midair. A lifeform resembling a cat, its eyes shining faint sapphire blue. But I didn’t move. Instead, I hefted the greatsword, drenched in monster blood, onto my shoulder.
Then I turned my gaze toward the demon in the shape of a cat with three tails.
“Why should I?”
“Wha…? What do you mean by that?”
Sensing something ominous, the demon’s eyes widened to the size of fists.
“No way…”
I just stared silently into those eyes.
All my companions were dead. I’d been alone for, what, fifty years? I wasn’t sure. There was no distinction between day and night here, so I had no way of knowing how much time had passed.
For that long, I wandered mountains of corpses alone, using damp, elephant-dung-like mud as my mattress, eating rotten food just to survive, and finally made it here.
All for this very moment.
“Bow your head, you son of a bitch.”
“W-what are you talking about, after coming all this way…”
“Cut the crap and bow your damn head, you demon bastard.”
You want to know what’s going on?
You know those clichés in novels or games where the hero gets betrayed right before the final boss or ending?
Yeah. That.
Never thought I’d be the one doing the backstabbing, though.
Of course, the protagonist of this story is me.
Just not the one getting stabbed in the back.
I’m the one doing the stabbing.
Isn’t that the trend these days?
If not, my bad.
It’s just… it’s been a while since I left Earth.
Anyway, back when I left, that kind of twist was all the rage.
“Why? Didn’t see this coming? You kidnapped me out of nowhere while I was taking a peaceful nap?”
Kim Dae-shik. That was my old name.
A regular office worker in his late twenties who loved hunting for good food, and spent weekends ordering delivery, watching dramas, movies, or YouTube while lounging around at home…
Until I got suddenly dragged into another world while napping on a Saturday.
Ah, just thinking about it pisses me off again. Maybe I should just forget it all and smash this bastard’s skull.
“You worked me like a slave for centuries without pay, so you better pay up, you human-trafficking bastard.”
I hadn’t died. I wasn’t paying for any crime. It wasn’t resurrection, reincarnation, or a wish-granting deal.
They just said, “Save the world covered in death’s shadow, and we’ll send you back.” That was it.
And so I spent over two hundred years struggling in this ruined world. Just to go back to Earth.
In other words, I was in forced labor for 200 years. In a place where death was everywhere. You can see why I’m pissed.
“You drag me out here, work me like a dog, and now that it’s over, you just tell me to go home? That’s not a reward. That’s basically saying, ‘We’re done, now get lost.’”
I sat down in front of the crystal, with the silent cat-shaped demon before me.
Not to destroy it, but to guard it, if need be.
“Do you even know how long I’ve waited for this day?”
At my sudden change in tone, the demon could only gape.
“You’ve got no power. And I’m the only one who made it this far. Maybe someday someone else will come down here, but…”
I wiped the monster flesh and guts off my sword as I continued.
“I’ll make sure that bastard never breaks this crystal. Hell, once he hears my story, he might even side with me. Let’s see how it plays out.”
The demon didn’t respond, but silence was answer enough.
For centuries, thousands of summoned heroes had fought to purify this world.
But I was the only one who survived to this point.
Another person reaching this place? Impossible. And if they did, I’d crush them myself.
“All the strong monsters are dead by my hand, and every colony’s been wiped out. Whoever comes next will never be as strong as me.”
Yeah, that’s why I bothered to annihilate every monster and zombie on my way down.
Not to mention, it was the only way to relieve stress in this damned world.
“This is your last warning. Bow your damn head unless you wanna see me become the Demon King.”
The outcome was pretty much decided.
“Yes, sir!”
The fairy, no, the demon, bowed.
No, “bowed” isn’t the right word. He planted his head into the ground, like he was trying to grow himself there.
“What do you desire, my lord?!”
Seeing that little bastard performing a literal face-plant into the stinking muck eased two hundred years’ worth of resentment by at least a fingernail’s worth.
“Feels awful, doesn’t it? I slept on this damp elephant-dung floor for two hundred years.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Now you kinda get how I feel, huh?”
“P-please, tell me what you want!”
“When I go back to that world, I want to keep my ability.”
That was my only wish.
To return with my power intact.
How much time would have passed on Earth?
Answer: “Unknown.”
But here, at least two hundred years had passed.
Would someone who lived in another world for two centuries be able to adapt to Earth again? No way. It’d take months at minimum to readjust to modern life, maybe longer. And I doubted I’d survive that long in the company office.
Even if I did, eventually I’d get fired, then I’d have to debate between opening a fried chicken shop or a café.
If I somehow managed to buy a house with a loan in between, that’d be a miracle, but yeah, right. So at least I wanted an ability that would let me live comfortably, even if I got fired.
Preferably one that could make me rich.
“B-but that’s against the laws of dimensional transfer…”
“Yeah, I figured.”
I calmly declared,
No negotiations. No deals.
Two hundred years of unpaid labor was enough reason for an ordinary office worker to become a Demon King.
“Alright, time for the birth of a Demon King!”
“W-wait! I-I’ll ask the g-gods! Please wait!”
“Do as you please.”
After a few minutes, the fairy with his head still buried like a taro root spoke up nervously.
“T-they ask… what ability do you desire?”
“How many can I have?”
“Only one… sir.”
“One?”
Unbelievable.
“You little…”
No. Calm down.
I wasn’t actually planning to become a Demon King anyway.
What would I even do here? Play hide-and-seek with rotting corpses? Slay monsters?
‘Calm down. What’s the point of staying in this damned place?’
If they say one is the limit, then one it is. And the fact they didn’t add any other conditions probably meant the same.
‘Only one… just one. Has a nice ring to it.’
At least my sense of humor’s still alive. Maybe I’ll adapt to modern life faster than I thought.
“Alright, then give me creation ability.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
The demon asked, tilting his head.
“Yeah.”
“Not a combat ability?”
“What would I do with that? I’d just end up a criminal or a monster. That world’s peaceful now.”
Going berserk like some beast back on Earth wouldn’t earn me anything.
At best, I’d get a bullet in the head.
At worst, I’d be dragged to some shady lab for experiments.
Better to take something that makes money.
I’d use the creation ability to open a workshop and rake in cash with supernatural craftsmanship.
Then I’d spend that money feasting on gourmet food every day, delivery, omakase, you name it. If I still had cash left, maybe I’d even drive a sports car.
“Understood.”
“Okay. Deal’s done.”
The cat handed me a sheet of paper conjured from magic the instant I said that.
“Then what will be the cost of using your power?”
In this world, every supernatural ability required a price.
Normally, creation consumed “points” earned by slaying zombies, but since Earth had none, I’d need a substitute. And I’d already decided on the perfect one, long ago.
“Satiety.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll eat until I’m full, use the ability, get hungry again, eat again, and use it again.”
At my answer, the cat-shaped demon’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“Are you… serious?”
“You think I’m joking?”
“U-understood…”
Looking rather uneasy, the cat began scribbling the contract with a magic quill.
“Mm-hmm. Good. Looks solid.”
I checked every word carefully, making sure there wasn’t a single trick.
From experience, I knew once you signed one of these, even gods couldn’t undo it.
“Then…”
After confirming there were no issues, I raised my greatsword and struck the crystal.
Whoooosh!
The massive blade, thick as a grown man’s torso, fell with a chilling sound, and cracks spread across the crystal.
Thud, thud!
I kept pounding away without rest.
Finally, when the giant crystal shattered completely…A blinding light enveloped me.
“Hey.”
I called out one last time to the cat.
“Still, thanks. Thanks to you, I didn’t forget how to talk.”
“I… thank you, too.”
The cat gazed at me with wistful eyes and sighed deeply.
Watching that, I felt a strange mix of relief and sorrow.
I guess even grudges can turn into bonds over time.
“Don’t get too sentimental, buddy. I’m gonna go eat myself stupid on the other side.”
“Please… be safe.”
With those final words, my vision filled completely with light.