War of Kings (2)

I felt my pupils darting back and forth across the countless "King" options floating before my eyes.

"What the hell is this crap?"

King of Bunny Girls? Seriously? And what the hell were the Kings of Madness, Backstabbing, Bombs, Eunuchs, and Impersonation supposed to be?

"Look… sure, I like bunny girls, and yeah, I may have suggested Kim Dokja and Jung Heewon try one on once, but…"

That didn't mean it belonged on a list of royal titles.

Is this for real, Star Stream?

Shut up, you balding monkey bastard.

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I said shut up, you nobody.

Would all of you just shut the hell up…

My body trembled under the relentless mockery and laughter of the Constellations. Voice shaking with shame and humiliation, I raised it in protest against the Star Stream itself.

"No, wait. Just wait a damn second. You insane Star Stream bastard. Does this make any sense by any normal standard? My chest is getting tight just looking at this, you piece of shit."

The Kings of Madness, Backstabbing, Bombs, Eunuchs, and Impersonation I could almost understand. But King of Bunny Girls? Absolutely not.

Face burning red, I pointed at the King of Bunny Girls option and shouted.

"If I actually lost my mind and picked that, everyone would start yelling, 'Ooh! Park Jinwoo, King of Bunny Girls!' Are you out of your goddamn mind?!"

How was this any different from Andersen's fairy tale of the naked emperor? No — that emperor had just been tricked by con men into showing his bare body. He hadn't put his sexual preferences on public display.

Picking this would be no different from announcing my kinks to the entire world.

"Ah, ah! Pass! This option is an absolute Pass!"

I was certain of it. Choose that, and I'd become the first king in Earth's scenarios to die of pure humiliation.

Without so much as a second glance at option six, King of Bunny Girls, I started hunting for something actually usable.

"Tsk… they're all pretty mediocre."

The only ones that even vaguely appealed were Hunter, Weapon, Pleasure, Merchant, and Dragonslayer.

I weighed those five carefully, then made my decision.

"I choose the King of Pleasure."

In the end, I picked King of Pleasure. Even I didn't know why. My heart simply told me to, so I followed it.

If combat was the priority, it should have been King of Hunters or King of Weapons.

If I wanted to rake in coins, King of Merchants.

If I wanted an easy time against the dragon-type monsters that would show up later, King of Dragonslayers.

But my heart obeyed the instinct roaring from the depths of my soul, and I chose the King of Pleasure.

"Status window."

Ding!

…Coming to Dobong Station, I killed a fair number of people, plus the Tyrant King and the Throwing King, so my coins have already broken a hundred thousand.

And there was a way to earn even more right here.

"Dokkaebi Bag, open the Exchange."

Ding!

I opened the Exchange window and listed two Fire Dragon scales and one Fire Dragon bone.

All three materials at 99,999C apiece.

Heh.

I could feel the thick smile spreading across my own face.

I knew full well that this was the kind of thing only a complete scumbag — or a professional scumbag — would do. But what did that have to do with me?

"Rich suckers and diamond-spoon types will buy without a second thought. No need to feel guilty."

In this world, the most useful and powerful force was coins. Coins alone.

With a completely unhesitating expression, I pressed Y.

"Please let me be a righteous bastard again today, O God…"

I clasped my hands, closed my eyes, and prayed with devout sincerity.

Or rather, I prayed with desperate sincerity that some rich sucker — or some gold- and diamond-spoon type who urgently needed Fire Dragon materials — would buy the items I'd listed.

"If you don't like watching me become this kind of bastard, just give me 299,997C. Then I'll cancel the listings."

I delivered the ultimatum to the two absolute-good Constellations with a go-ahead-and-try-me attitude. Of course, even if they actually handed over 299,997C, I'd just list the items again.

Never forget: a bastard once can be a bastard twice.

Even if the Constellation in question was one that sponsored me generously with coins, there were no exceptions.

"Quiet, all of you. Now then — time to dig for a few more hidden items…"

When you loot, you loot thoroughly. That was my creed.

I stripped the strange-looking golden crown and the royal dragon robe off the dead Tyrant King and stashed them.

In the Master of the Throne arc, the Tyrant King's status window had shown his Magic Power level with a +2. I figured one of three things was boosting that stat — the Samryunhwan, the golden crown, or the dragon robe — so I took the crown and the robe.

"Hmm… the dragon robe doesn't have any special effects. It's just sturdier and flashier than other B-grade gear."

The dragon robe wasn't a hidden item at all — just a stylish B-grade piece of armor. I tossed it into My Room and checked the oddly shaped golden crown next.

"Jackpot."

I'd finally found an S-grade item I could offer as a sacrifice in place of my Samryunhwan to restore Kim Dokja's uses of Intermediate Prediction.

"Nice, nice. With this, the Samryunhwan can stay mine for good. Now then — time for dessert?"

I eyed the corpse of Jung Yonghoo, formerly the Tyrant King. Now it was time to plunder the skills he'd possessed.

"「Skill Extraction.」"

Ding!

I looked at Weapon Training and grinned.

If luck's on my side, I can get it this time.

Did you know why I'd never bought Weapon Training from the Dokkaebi Bag even though it was available for coins?

Because once you entered the Kings' arc, killed the kings, and used Extraction on their corpses, you could get Weapon Training without spending a single coin.

Save coins, raise Extraction proficiency — two birds with one stone, right?

Of course, the Throwing King had had Weapon Training too, so I'd tried extracting it. But I'd failed both 50% rolls and walked away empty-handed. Damn it…

"I choose Weapon Training."

"Yeah. Spin it."

I let out a sigh of relief at the system message floating before my eyes.

"Whew… right. Even 50% doesn't fail three times in a row."

I was, after all, the man who'd hit both a 45% and a 15%. Somewhere in the distance I thought I heard a desperate scream about my gacha luck vanishing, but I decided to ignore it.

"So that leaves Heoncheonbo and Grappling Training."

I didn't need Heoncheonbo. I was already planning to learn the Path of Wind from Lycaon, so there was no reason to take it. That left only Grappling Training…

"But what even is Grappling Training…?"

That one was a little confusing. In Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, there wasn't a single explanation of Grappling Training.

It was a proficiency-type skill like Weapon Training. But proficiency in what, exactly?

Miscellaneous techniques — as in a grab-bag of tricks? Or "miscellaneous arts," referring to Jung Yonghoo having ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠been a circus performer before the apocalypse?

I strongly hoped it was the former. That one would actually be useful to me.

"For my second pick, I choose Grappling Training."

I quietly nodded. Getting it would be nice; not getting it didn't matter much.

"Tsk…"

I'd failed the 50% gacha. But it didn't really matter. I'd already pulled my real target — Weapon Training.

"More than that — a king really is a king. Weapon Training already at level 5."

I still didn't have a single skill at level 5, yet the Tyrant King already had two of them.

Ah, right. The Tyrant King's sponsor bought him a starter pack, a growth package, and a new-scenario commemorative package, didn't they?

Well, if someone bought you three whole packages just so you wouldn't die easily, threw in heavy sponsorship, and even got you a King attribute — and you still couldn't hit skill level 5, you deserved to drop dead.

"Dessert's finished. Time to head back, I guess?"

It was about time to leave. I still needed to meet Min Jiwon, after all.

I used Barisada to carve the flag stand out of the center of Dobong Station in one piece, then started preparing to leave.

"Um, um…"

"What?"

Someone called me in a thin voice, so I turned my head.

Behind me stood a man wearing a brown cloche hat.

And this man… something about him felt familiar. I was sure I'd seen a face like his somewhere before.

"What do you want?"

"S-so… are we supposed to follow you now…?"

The man kept his eyes lowered and spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.

At that, I looked around at the wreckage of Dobong Station that I'd left behind.

People injured large and small by my explosive rounds were everywhere.

I had killed their king, and they had lost him.

That was why they were afraid.

They'd lived like dead mice, constantly watching the Tyrant King's mood — but now that he was gone, they were hunched in terror, terrified some other group would attack them.

I looked at them with open contempt.

"Follow me for what? I'm just a hedonist. Live free."

"W-what…?"

The man's eyes went wide for a moment. He looked like he couldn't believe what he'd heard.

"You deaf? Live free on your own. I don't want to be responsible for you people."

"B-but…!?"

The man kept pestering me. That was when I realized who was standing in front of me.

Wait — in the Master of the Throne arc, two of Han Sooyoung's Avatars stabbed Jung Yonghoo, didn't they?

And one of those Avatars had been a man wearing a brown cloche hat, just like this one.

"So it's you."

"Huh? What are you talking abou—"

Slash.

I swung Barisada, still in my hand, and took the man's head clean off.

The headless body slowly toppled backward. I snatched the falling head out of the air before it hit the ground.

An ordinary human dies the moment their head is cut off. But the severed head in front of me was still alive.

The blood that should have poured from a severed neck wasn't flowing at all.

There was only one answer.

"You've already been found out, so quit playing dead. First Apostle."

Flash!

"You figured out who I am. What the hell are you?"

The severed head snapped its eyes open and spoke to me.

I ignored its words and looked down at the head with genuine interest.

"The more I look at it, the more impressive it is. That Avatar skill of yours."

"Wh-what?! How do you know the name of my skill?!"

"Perfect timing. I was worried running all the way to Gwanghwamun alone would be a little lonely. Now I've got a conversation buddy."

"Answer my question! How did you know my skill's name?!"

"Whoa, whoa… calm down, My Best Friend."

"Who the hell is best friends with a lunatic like you?! Answer the damn question!"

I ignored the First Apostle — or rather, Han Sooyoung's Avatar — and started walking toward the Dobong Station railway tracks.

Near the stairs leading down from the station, I spotted Kang Ilhoon standing stiff as a board.

"Oh, good — you actually did what I told you. I'd have been a little sad if you'd ignored me and died."

"Y-yes… I did exactly as you said, Jinwoo-nim, and survived. Thank you."

"It's fine, it's fine. You're alive — that's what matters."

I looked Kang Ilhoon up and down. Fortunately, he didn't have a scratch on him.

"Hey, did Dokja give you any extra instructions?"

"No, she didn't order anything beyond that."

"Then take me as far as Gwanghwamun. Drop me off, then go wait at Chungmuro again."

"Understood. I'll head down first — need to start the engine."

"Sure~"

Kang Ilhoon went down the stairs to start the bike. That was when the head of Han Sooyoung still clutched in my right hand started screaming.

"Hey, you crazy bastard?! Are you ignoring me?! Ignoring me?! You son of a bitch! Keep ignoring me, see what happens! When my real body gets here, I won't let you off easy, I mean it!"

"What's our bestie so curious about?"

"This bastard… no, wait… how the hell did you know my skill's name, you psycho."

"You want to know that badly? Fine, I'll tell you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you."

"Alright, spit it out."

Han Sooyoung looked straight into my eyes. I looked back at her head with equal seriousness.

"…………."

"…………?"

When I kept my mouth firmly shut, Han Sooyoung just blinked for a while. When I still didn't open it, she finally spoke with a thoroughly pissed-off expression.

"Hey… what are you doing? You said you'd tell me."

"When did I say I'd tell you now? If I tell you eventually, that still counts as telling you."

"Of all the absolute lunatics I could have run into… this is my fate…"

Han Sooyoung let out a deep sigh, looking like she'd thrown up both hands and both feet in surrender.

"Be my conversation buddy until Gwanghwamun. Then I'll actually tell you."

"Forget it, you bastard. I'm leaving."

"H-hey…? Don't do that?"

"Get lost."

Apparently she meant it — the head in my hand began slowly turning to dust.

"Hey! I just teased you a little and now you're actually leaving because you're sulking?!"

"Who's sulking? Your eyes broken?"

"Come on, just talk with me. Who knows — while we're chatting, you might hear the information you want."

"Bullshit. You think I don't know anything about you? You're that one, right? The Incarnation who killed a dragon at Anguk Station."

"That's right. That's me."

Han Sooyoung closed her eyes, seemed to think for a moment, then slowly opened her mouth.

"Hey. I'll make you one offer."

"What is it?"

The First Apostle and Fake King, Han Sooyoung, making me an offer?

Intrigued, I quietly listened.

"Ditch that Kim Dokja bitch at Chungmuro and come to me. I'll treat you well."

"…………?"

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What did I just hear?

For a second I thought my ears were broken. I never expected Han Sooyoung to make an offer like that, so the shock hit even harder.

"And what's in it for me?"

"You like bunny girls, right? Come to me and I'll wear a bunny girl outfit for a whole day."

"………!!!!"

What did she just say!!!!

I felt my mind go blank.

I knew what Han Sooyoung's real body looked like.

I knew exactly how much of a beautiful girl she was.

Short black hair, 158 cm, small but with excellent proportions, a beauty mark under her eye, a catlike face — a genuine pretty girl.

She didn't have the massive chest of Jung Heewon, Yoo Sangah, Kim Dokja, or Yoo Joonghyuk, but she still had a nice size. And that pretty girl was making me this kind of offer?

Had I ever in my life agonized this deeply over anything? My heart was genuinely stirred.

"………Look, I know I'm the enemy saying this, but you're a real pervert, huh? You're actually considering this?"

"……Ahem! Ahem-hem!! Wh-who said I was considering anything!? I-I was… I was gonna refuse! Don't go framing an innocent man!!"

"Wipe the tears running down your face before you say that, idiot."

Under Han Sooyoung's trinity of contempt, pity, and sheer disbelief — plus the Constellations' condemnation — I frantically wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with my suit sleeve.

Once they were clean, I whispered quietly to the Constellations and Han Sooyoung.

"Uh… was it that obvious I was considering it?"

"Duh. Why are you even asking?"

Goddamn it.

"Fine! I was seriously considering it! So what?! A guy's allowed to do that sometimes, right?!"

"Proud of it, huh, you bastard. Can you say that so confidently to your comrades too?"

"Ah, that I can't. The second I say it, I'll either get the death glare or get beaten on the spot."

Those women were all terrifying, honestly.

Kim Dokja would become a Constellation, Yoo Joonghyuk a Transcendent, Yoo Sangah a spider girl, Jung Heewon a judge who cut down the wicked, and Lee Jihye… I wasn't sure? She hadn't done anything huge up through the real Revolutionary arc I'd read.

Either way, every last one of them was a woman who could hold her own. That much was certain.

"Oh, is that so?"

In that moment, Han Sooyoung looked up at me with a meaningful smile. A wave of unease hit me and I hurriedly spoke to her.

"Hey, hey. What's with that smile?"

"What smile?"

"That meaningful smile you just made, damn it! Y-you're not… it's not what I'm thinking, right?!"

At my panicked words, Han Sooyoung only smiled wider. Then her head began turning to dust.

Han Sooyoung's real body was dismissing the Avatar skill. Did I understand what that meant? It meant every conversation I'd just had with her Avatar was being transmitted in full to the main body.

Bottom line? I was fucked!

"Hey, hey! I-I was wrong! Let's not do this for real?!"

"Tsk tsk… just accept the karma that's coming for you."

Ssssss.

Han Sooyoung's Avatar completely scattered into dust. This was genuinely bad.

Thud-thud-thud-thud!!

I raced down the stairs to get on Kang Ilhoon's bike.

"Ah, Jinwoo-nim. Did you finish everyth—"

"Hey! Shut up, no time?! Get to Gwanghwamun— no, wait, floor it to Gwanseongmyo in Jung-gu, now!"

"Uh, y-yes, sir!"

I cut Kang Ilhoon off and ordered him to race to Gwanseongmyo in Jung-gu, Seoul. He looked bewildered, but followed my instructions and gunned the bike.

Vroooooom!

Shit. An unexpected chicken game had just begun.

I had to rejoin Kim Dokja's group as fast as possible, blow up every last one of Han Sooyoung's Avatars, pin down her real body, and slap a Temporary Oath or Existence Vow on her.

Otherwise, my comrades were going to kill me!