Omniscient Ocean Sunfish (9)
I held up a recorder, sipping my cola as I cheerfully watched Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk glare at each other mid-swordfight.
"Hey, Oppa?"
Lee Jihye, still sprawled on the floor after getting walloped by Yoo Joonghyuk, called out to me.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing right now?"
"Recording Dokja-ssi's black history, obviously."
"Wow…"
Lee Jihye let out a small sound of admiration, then shot me a look that clearly said, Is this guy even human?
"Why are you looking at me like that? If I don't roast her now, when am I supposed to?"
"…Do you really have to do it right now?"
"Of course! I'm going to carefully collect Dokja-ssi's black history from this point on so she can die of pure embarrassment."
And then I'd detonate it all at once. Because I desperately wanted to see Kim Dokja clutch the back of her neck and collapse.
"…Oppa, you're a really weird person. Right, Heewon unnie?"
"That guy's always been like that, so don't worry about it too much, Jihye."
Jung Heewon, who'd been quietly listening to our conversation from the side, chimed in.
Suddenly, someone shot upright nearby.
"Hm?"
While the three of us were chatting, a frantic scrambling sound came from beside us, and I turned my head toward it.
Theater Master Simulation is greatly flustered!
The Theater Master was thrown into a panic over the fact that his specialty — brainwashing — had been broken twice. He hurriedly stretched a hand toward the freed Yoo Joonghyuk.
"You bastard. It wasn't just twice."
I closed the distance in a flash, seized the Theater Master by the scruff of the neck, and hoisted him clean off the ground.
Suddenly finding himself dangling in midair, the Theater Master kicked both legs wildly, thrashing about.
"Hey, you old fossil of a grandpa. Quit squirming! You're just making me feel sorry for you."
I said it in a deliberately playful tone.
…Should I just finish him off?
The nine thousand coins were tempting, and I nearly put more force into the hand gripping his scruff — but I decided to hand him over to Kim Dokja instead.
In the future, I'll sell Kim Dokja a Kim Dokja Black History Package.
From now on, I'd carefully stockpile her embarrassing moments, then sell the whole package at a suitably outrageous price once she'd amassed a mountain of coins.
"Kehehe…"
Of course, I'd only be handing over a copy, not the original. That way I'd get the coins and still have the master files to circulate and kill her with shame.
"Hmm-hmm~♪"
Dreaming of that sweet future, I hummed a little tune as I approached the two of them, who were still locked in a staring contest, sniping at each other with What the hell are you? and Who even are you?
"Dokja-ssi! And Chihuahua… no, Joonghyuk-ssi!"
At my call, Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk both turned their heads toward me at the same time.
"Jinwoo-ssi?"
"………Park Jinwoo."
Kim Dokja looked at me with pure confusion, as if wondering why I'd walked over. Yoo Joonghyuk, on the other hand, was glaring at me like she wanted me dead.
"Here, Dokja-ssi! A present!"
"Pardon?"
I handed the Theater Master over to Kim Dokja. She took him with a baffled expression, then just stared blankly at me in total bewilderment.
"You should kill him quick. Otherwise he might try brainwashing again."
"…Thank you."
Kim Dokja gave a small bow of her head and offered her thanks.
"Park Jinwoo!!"
Still furious that I'd treated her like a dog, Yoo Joonghyuk came striding toward me with her eyes rolled back in rage. I watched her approach without a word.
"I'll kill y—!"
The moment she got close enough, I stuffed a Murim Dumpling straight into her mouth.
"……………."
She looked back and forth between the dumpling in her mouth and me, then squeezed her eyes shut and started devouring it at high speed.
"You bastard… did you really think I'd let you off with a mere Murim Dumpling?"
Shing.
Having finished the dumpling, Yoo Joonghyuk quietly leveled her sword at me. I couldn't help but snicker. At the sudden sound of my laughter, she frowned and demanded,
"What's so funny?"
"That Murim Dumpling. Didn't it taste a little off?"
"…What?"
Yoo Joonghyuk pressed me for the meaning behind my words, about to demand an explanation — when she suddenly felt her vision start to sway.
"What is this…?"
No — it wasn't simply her vision swaying. A sudden, crushing wave of exhaustion was forcing her eyes shut on pure reflex.
"Park… Jin… woo…!"
Yoo Joonghyuk glared at me with pure hatred, wearing the exact face of a protagonist betrayed by a comrade and swearing revenge.
"Don't worry. It's just a simple sleeping pill."
I spoke to her in the same gentle, affectionate, unhurried tone a neighborhood pediatrician might use with a small child.
Then I stepped closer to Yoo Joonghyuk, whose eyelids were already drooping under the sleeping pill's effect, carefully gathered her into my arms, and said,
"Sweet dreams, then. Our ferocious, violent, completely insane Chihuahua-ssi."
"………When I… wake up… I will… definitely… kill…"
Under the influence of a sleeping pill strong enough to knock out an elephant, Yoo Joonghyuk fell into a deep sleep. I carefully hoisted her onto my back and walked over to Kim Dokja, who had just finished off the Theater Master.
"Dokja-ssi."
"Ah, Jinwoo… ssi? Why are you carrying Yoo Joonghyuk?"
"Looks like she was tired. She passed out cold. Of course, I did feed her a sleeping pill."
Constellation, Secretive Plotter, stares at you with a look of pure disbelief.
Kim Dokja eyed me like I was a complete lunatic, but then she let out a small sigh, shook her head, and said,
"Haa… Fine. That's so very like you, Jinwoo-ssi…"
"Why am I getting that kind of treatment? I'm hurt, Dokja-ssi."
"Anyone who does nothing but stir up chaos every single day should stay quiet."
The clear conditions for the Hidden Scenario have been met!
Reward: 4,000 Coins acquired.
Oh.
With the Theater Master's death, the Hidden Scenario reward rolled in. I was smiling in satisfaction when another message arrived.
From the opaque dome that had been wrapping the Sky Garden came the sound of glass shattering. Moments later, the barrier vanished completely, and I tilted my head back to look at the sky.
"Whoa…"
Brilliantly shining stars and countless meteor showers filled the night sky. I stared blankly at that dazzling expanse.
"Dokja-ssi, Jinwoo-ssi. Are you okay?"
Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye approached, supporting each other as they asked.
"We're fine. As for Yoo Joonghyuk, Jinwoo-ssi put her to sleep temporarily with a sleeping pill."
"Oppa… how are you planning to deal with the aftermath?"
Hearing Kim Dokja's explanation, Lee Jihye asked with a worried look.
"Future me will figure something out, I guess."
I gave her the kind of irresponsible answer only a thoroughly hopeless adult could deliver.
"……From where I'm standing, Oppa's going to get stabbed by Master any day now. When that sword comes, just accept that you had it coming. Got it?"
"I'll play the little-sister card when that happens."
"I don't want to die with Master, okay?!"
Lee Jihye reacted like a hissing cat, all bristling nerves.
"But Heewon-ssi, Jihye — are your bodies okay? Your faces are ridiculously swollen."
"It hurts… My face is so puffy I can barely talk."
"It hurts for me too…"
Having taken a thorough beating from Yoo Joonghyuk, Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye winced slightly every time they spoke, their faces and mouths badly swollen.
"Hold these against the swollen spots for now. It'll be better than nothing."
I handed them ice packs I'd frozen solid from the general store.
"Thank you, Jinwoo-ssi. I'll put it to good use."
"Thanks, Oppa."
Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye pressed the ice packs to their puffy faces.
The end time of the Third Main Scenario is approaching!
"Looks like things down below are wrapping up soon, too."
Kim Dokja confirmed the main scenario message and spoke in a calm voice.
Having safely cleared the Hidden Scenario, I looked around the rooftop. Far in the distance, dawn was beginning to break.
Damn, we pulled an all-nighter…
I wasn't young enough for all-nighters to be easy anymore. Watching the sky brighten only made the fatigue hit harder.
"Ah… Seoul…"
Jung Heewon let out a low, bitter sound. Wanting to see what had drawn that reaction from her, I followed her gaze.
"What a mess."
The Seoul we remembered — the capital of Korea — was nowhere to be found. Only a ruined city remained.
In the distance, intermittent explosions and scattered fires sent black smoke climbing all the way to the sky. Beneath collapsed buildings lay the corpses of the Poison-Breathing Rhinos — those creatures that had farted out the toxic fog known as Deadly Poison Mist — along with other monsters. People fought each other with weapons in hand, while others broke down weeping beside corpses.
"It's really… all over, isn't it…"
Jung Heewon spoke as if sighing the words out.
"Shooting stars!"
Lee Gilyoung, who had at some point glued himself to Kim Dokja's side, pointed up at the sky.
Dozens of meteors were falling in a magnificent display.
If this were the old days, I'd have watched them all day in pure delight.
But Kim Dokja and I both knew what those meteor showers meant, so we couldn't simply enjoy them the way Lee Gilyoung did.
Those falling stars were the harbingers of the Main Scenario. Wherever those meteors were landing across the entire world, disasters and nightmares far more terrible than anything so far were waiting.
Unlike Kim Dokja and me, though, Jung Heewon had no idea what the meteor shower meant. She watched the streaks racing across the sky with open admiration.
"Wow… they're damn beautiful…"
Lee Gilyoung pressed his hands together, closed his eyes, and began murmuring something. He was probably making a wish on those falling stars.
Jung Heewon and Lee Jihye fell quiet for a moment as well. Whether they were looking at the meteor shower or at the destroyed Seoul, I couldn't tell.
A short while later, having finished his wish, Lee Gilyoung opened his eyes and looked between Kim Dokja and me.
"Hyung, Noona — aren't you going to make a wish?"
Kim Dokja hesitated for a moment, then answered him.
"I already did."
"What did you wish for?"
"You're not supposed to say your wish out loud or it won't come true, Gilyoung."
Jung Heewon gently scolded him.
Kim Dokja quietly looked at Jung Heewon, Lee Jihye, and Lee Gilyoung. Then at Yoo Joonghyuk on my back, and at me. Then at the meteor shower overhead and the ruined landscape of Seoul. At last, she opened her mouth.
"I wished to be able to see the epilogue of a certain novel."
Lee Gilyoung tilted his head at her answer, as if he didn't quite understand, then turned his gaze to me.
"What about you, Jinwoo hyung?"
"Me? I…"
Kim Dokja, Jung Heewon, Lee Jihye, and Lee Gilyoung all looked my way. Meeting their eyes, I answered with half sincerity and half mischief.
"I wished for this ending to be a happy one — and that at the end of it, I'd get a man's ultimate dream: a harem."
And for that, I received looks of pure contempt from Kim Dokja, Jung Heewon, and Lee Jihye.