Sponsor Selection (2)
— Choose your sponsor.
— The sponsor you select will become your steadfast backer.
1. Lord of the Riffraff
2. God of Wine and Ecstasy
3. The Poet Who Died From a Joke
Three of them, huh….
Not too many, not too few.
Constellation, Lord of the Riffraff.
A masochistic Constellation who got off on watching his own incarnation get wrecked by other incarnations.
This one is a hard pass, obviously.
I'd expected the Lord of the Riffraff—he'd been spamming me messages ever since Yoo Joonghyuk started stomping me into the dirt.
But when did this famous joke guy show up?
Constellation, God of Wine and Ecstasy.
True name: Dionysus. One of Olympus's Twelve Gods, better known as the god of wine and madness.
He was so infamous for his memes that almost no one in Korea could claim not to know him.
I still remembered that line. "You completely ruined the mood, so take responsibility."
And last of all… how the hell did this one even become a Constellation?
Constellation, The Poet Who Died From a Joke.
Nefi, a poet of the Ottoman Empire.
He'd become a court poet through the sultan's favor and spent his time writing satirical verses about people he hated. When word came that the sultan's brother-in-law was coming to kill him for it, Nefi went to a eunuch chief he was friendly with and begged him to write a petition on his behalf. The eunuch chief—who happened to be Black—was drafting the petition when he accidentally spilled the ink. Nefi took one look and cracked a joke: "If you're going to sweat that hard writing a petition to the grand vizier, what's the point?" And that, supposedly, was how he died.
How is it that the three Constellations interested in me are all complete weirdos?
A masochist who enjoyed watching his own incarnation get destroyed. A thug nebula. Olympus's god of wine and madness. And a Constellation who literally died mid-joke in his previous life.
"This is hopeless."
Constellation, Lord of the Riffraff, says he will treat you well if you come to him.
Constellation, God of Wine and Ecstasy, says your expression is amusing.
Constellation, The Poet Who Died From a Joke, gazes at you with an intrigued expression.
A handful of Constellations watch your choice.
With Constellations bombarding me nonstop and Yoo Joonghyuk and Bihyung staring at me with blank faces, I did the only reasonable thing.
"Eat shit, all of you."
I offered them a polite smile and raised my right hand with only the middle finger extended, flipping them off one by one.
Once toward the floating Constellation messages. Once toward Yoo Joonghyuk, who was watching me with that expressionless face. And once toward Bihyung, whose face had contorted into a silent scream at the sight of me flipping off both the Constellations and Yoo Joonghyuk.
The Constellations in the channel stare blankly at your actions.
Many Constellations slam their keyboards as they watch an Incarnation dare flip off a Constellation!!
A handful of Constellations clutch their sides laughing at your actions.
Constellation, Lord of the Riffraff, laughs at your actions.
Constellation, God of Wine and Ecstasy, laughs at the sight of you.
Constellation, The Poet Who Died From a Joke, laughs and calls you bold.
"You bastard…."
"Whoa, whoa? That was aimed at the dokkaebi. The one at you was a mistake?"
Yoo Joonghyuk started toward me with a murderous look, clearly pissed that I'd flipped her off. I stopped her cold with a blatant lie—claiming I'd meant it for Bihyung and that hers had been an accident.
Watching the Constellations lose their minds over a simple middle finger, and watching Yoo Joonghyuk still glare at me even after my "it was a mistake" excuse, I felt a pure, unfiltered rush of joy.
Hey, you crazy bastard—! What the hell do you think you're doing, an Incarnation flipping off Constellations?!
Bihyung shot over to me, face bone-white, and started rattling off accusations at machine-gun speed.
"Hey, those Constellations were being assholes."
Why keep pressuring me—pick one, hurry up and pick one? It was pissing me off.
Wh-what kind of…!?
I ignored Bihyung's look of pure, dying frustration and tapped the X in the upper-right corner of the Sponsor Selection window.
Sponsor Selection has ended.
"I don't need a Sponsor. I just need coins."
So.
"Hand over the coins."
Shut up and give me the money.