The Murim Dumpling Deal
“…Hey. Before I die, can I ask just one thing?”
“What.”
“How long have you been listening?”
“…………….”
Squeeze…!!
Without a word, Yoo Joonghyuk tightened the hand clamped around Park Jinwoo’s nape.
“Ghk—ghk…! Y-you heard everything, didn’t you, Joonghyuk-ssi?! W-wait a second!? Time-out! Time-out!!”
Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!
My face turned deathly blue under the monstrous grip on my neck. I frantically slapped her hand with my palm, signaling surrender for all I was worth.
Whether she understood or simply grew bored, the crushing force around my nape eased.
“…Didn’t you already leave your last will?”
“…Okay, I badmouthed you, sure. But you were partly to blame too, right?! Why am I the only one getting chewed out! W-wait! I’m not finished talking yet?! Now for the main point! So ease up on the grip…!!”
“What do you want to say?”
“A d-deal. Let’s make one deal.”
“A deal? With the likes of you? Ridiculous.”
Yoo Joonghyuk snorted at my words, her voice dripping with scorn.
“Three thousand coins.”
“What?”
“Anything under three thousand coins—items, skills, clothes, daily necessities, ingredients, food, whatever—I’ll get it for you. In exchange… spare me just this once.”
“…You’re saying you can actually obtain all of that?”
“Yes.”
“With that skill from before?”
“Yes. How about it?”
“Hrm………….”
Yoo Joonghyuk fell silent, chewing over my offer. After a long moment she opened and closed her mouth several times, clearly hesitating, before finally speaking in a small voice.
“Murim Dumplings.”
“Pardon?”
“Can you get me Murim Dumplings?”
“…Murim Dumplings? Give me a second.”
Her eyes gleamed as she made the request in that deadly serious tone. I had fully expected her to demand coins, skills, or items, so the sudden craving for Murim Dumplings threw me for a loop. Still, surviving this situation meant I had no choice but to produce them. I snapped back to focus and searched the General Shop.
“Hmm… Not ordinary food, I see. Nothing in the General Shop.”
“………Couldn’t find them?”
For a second I thought my ears were broken. The insane bomb-happy kill-parrot Yoo Joonghyuk was actually sounding dejected over a single dumpling she couldn’t locate.
“Just wait a bit longer. I’ve still got another place to check.”
Still dangling from her grip on my nape, I searched the Dokkaebi Bag for Murim Dumplings. Thankfully, they were there.
“What the fuck?! What kind of dumpling costs two hundred coins a piece? Are they out of their goddamn minds!!”
“Did you find them?”
“They’re here, but… are you seriously going with this? Not a skill or an item—just these dumplings?”
“…Yes.”
She nodded with that same grave expression. When I turned for a better look at her face, the corners of her mouth were twitching upward—she was clearly thrilled at the prospect of eating Murim Dumplings.
It left me a little speechless, but this was the only way I was walking out of here alive. I let out a quiet sigh and spoke.
“…I’ll buy them for you. But you really will forgive me, right? No suddenly attacking me or snapping my neck after you get them?”
“I understand. Now hand over the Murim Dumplings.”
“…Fuck my life. Sacrificing dumplings to keep my head.”
Purchasing 15 ‘Murim Dumplings’ from the Dokkaebi Bag.
3,000 coins have been consumed.
The moment I bought them from the Dokkaebi Bag, the Murim Dumplings appeared nestled inside a paper bag. Freshly made, steam curled up through the gaps.
“Here. Now let go of me.”
“Mm.”
Yoo Joonghyuk took the bag from my hand and tossed me aside like garbage. I hit the floor with a clatter and rolled. A little self-pity welled up.
She ignored the sprawled mess that was me and carefully opened the paper bag resting on her palm. From inside she drew out a single dumpling still trailing thick ribbons of steam.
“What kind of dumpling is the size of a man’s fist?”
The dumpling she held was enormous—easily as big as a grown man’s clenched hand. Just looking at it made my mouth water.
Sniff sniff.
Yoo Joonghyuk brought it to her nose, inhaled once, then took a clean, decisive bite.
“Mm…. Definitely Murim Dumplings.”
Satisfaction bloomed across her face; a small smile tugged at her lips.
“Are they good?”
“I do not eat food prepared by others. Only these Murim Dumplings.”
“Talk about a roundabout way of saying it. Basically you’re admitting these dumplings are so damn delicious you’ll make an exception and buy them, right? Doesn’t that kind of detour exhaust you?”
“…Shut up.”
She had already finished the first one and was fishing another out of the bag. Those dumplings really must have been incredible.
“Sigh. So we’re good now? Can I go finish my chicken?”
“Do as you like.”
Apparently she had decided to completely forgive the backtalk and insults. She simply kept devouring Murim Dumplings with single-minded focus.
I watched her for a moment, then turned back to my own share of chicken, sat down on the floor, and lifted another piece.
“…Hey, Mister.”
“What now?”
The girl’s voice came from right beside me just as I was about to take a bite. I turned. Lee Jihye was looking up at me with sparkling eyes.
“Lee Jihye?”
“Mister, can I have some of that too?”
“The chicken?”
“Yeah! Yeah!”
Her eyes glittered and a bright, sunny smile lit her face as she stared at me.
“Oppa.”
“Huh?”
“Call me Oppa from now on and I’ll get you two whole chickens of whatever brand you want.”
“…How old are you, Mister?”
“Twenty-six.”
Lee Jihye closed her eyes for a second, let out a thoughtful hum, then spoke.
“…Ugh. You want to hear ‘Oppa’ that badly?”
“Yep.”
“…It’s a little embarrassing.”
She glanced back and forth between the chicken and me, clearly wrestling with the decision. Then she steeled herself and looked me straight in the eye.
“O-Oppa.”
“Add the name and say it one more time.”
“J-Jinwoo… Oppa….”
Hearing a high-school girl call me Oppa made a goofy grin spread across my face. Satisfied, I looked at Lee Jihye and declared,
“Alright. Name the chicken brands you want.”
“M-me! BBQ’s Golden Olive Chicken and Mala Hot Chicken!”
The instant she listed her choices I bought Golden Olive and Mala Hot from the General Shop and set them in front of her.
“These are freebies. Enjoy.”
“Wow! Oppa’s the best!”
I also handed over BBQ’s tteokbokki, a 500 ml cola, and pickled radish. Lee Jihye’s face lit up even brighter as she crowed that Oppa was the best.
“Heheh! Hearing ‘Oppa’ feels so good….”
“You get that happy just from a high-schooler calling you Oppa…? Look at that blissed-out face, Sangah-ssi.”
“Ahahaha….”
Jung Heewon shot me a look of pure contempt for reveling in Lee Jihye’s “Oppa.” Caught between us, Yoo Sangah simply wore an awkward smile and kept tearing into her chicken.
The rest of the party burst out laughing at the sight and returned to finishing their own chicken.
“Yoo Joonghyuk.”
“Mm?”
Everyone had stuffed themselves on the chicken I treated them to and were now lounging against the walls or sprawled on the floor in contented drowsiness.
Only Kim Dokja rose from the floor and walked toward Yoo Joonghyuk.
Yoo Joonghyuk paused mid-bite of her last Murim Dumpling and turned toward the voice that had called her name.
“Good to see you, you.”
“Ah, right. You were here too. So you survived after all?”
This Murim-Dumpling-obsessed crazy bitch completely forgot about me while stuffing her face….
Kim Dokja silently cursed the regressor who had forgotten her existence for the sake of Park Jinwoo’s dumplings, then continued.
“Were you hoping I’d die?”
“I thought it wouldn’t matter either way.”
Hearing that, Kim Dokja felt a powerful urge to punch the jaw currently crammed full of Murim Dumpling. The bitter truth was that she was still far weaker than Yoo Joonghyuk, so the desire remained pure fantasy.
Character List on Yoo Joonghyuk.
Exclusive Skill ‘Character List’ has been activated!
The target’s related information is excessively large. ‘Character List’ has been converted to ‘Summary List’.
Full version.
Converting Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ information to Full Version.
Name:Yoo Joonghyuk
Age:28
Sponsor:???
Exclusive Attributes:Regressor <3rd Turn> (Myth), Pro Gamer (Rare)
Exclusive Skills:[Sage’s Eye Lv.8], [Close Combat Lv.8], [Advanced Weapons Training Lv.5], [Strong Protection Lv.5], [Mental Barrier Lv.5], [Crowd Control Lv.5], [Reasoning Lv.5], [Lie Detection Lv.4], [Cooking Lv.10]… (abbreviated)
Stigma:[Regression Lv.3]
Overall Stats:[Physique Lv.24], [Strength Lv.24], [Agility Lv.25], [Magic Power Lv.23]
Overall Evaluation:(This character’s overall evaluation is too long to load.)
Reading the novel never gave me this feeling, but seeing her in person really drives home how absurd this bitch is. Physique, Strength, and Agility already over seventy? Pure crazy. Park Jinwoo was right—she really is a gorilla, this lunatic.
Kim Dokja clicked her tongue inwardly after reviewing the skills and stats through Character List and realizing just how extraordinary Yoo Joonghyuk was.
She’s even growing faster than the original third turn. How?
“Anything else you wanted to say?”
Kim Dokja understood that faster growth meant Yoo Joonghyuk was taking correspondingly greater risks. She stared hard at the regressor.
“I asked if you had more to say.”
“No. I was just looking because you piss me off.”
—As expected, she’s got guts.
Thanks to the exclusive skill Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Yoo Joonghyuk’s inner thoughts reached her clearly.
—Still, that arrogance is annoying. Should I just kill her now?
“Joke! Just a joke! Soften those eyes, friend.”
Hearing the murderous thought, Kim Dokja hurriedly forced a laugh.
Constellation ‘Prisoner of the Golden Headband’ is disappointed in you.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned away as if she had lost interest and finished off the remaining Murim Dumplings.
“Looks like you’ve gathered companions.”
Kim Dokja looked at her. Yoo Joonghyuk’s expressionless gaze swept over Kim Dokja, then past her to the rest of the party.
Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ is slightly disappointed in you.
What? Why all of a sudden?
Kim Dokja’s expression flickered with confusion as she stared at the regressor.
Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ activates ‘Sage’s Eye Lv.8’!
—I left Lee Hyunsung with her, yet this is all she’s managed to raise? Below expectations.
Kim Dokja found herself speechless for a moment because the assessment was accurate.
Yoo Joonghyuk continued examining the party one by one with Sage’s Eye still active.
—Park Jinwoo. Hmm… skill levels are low, but still usable. ‘Shooting’, ‘Rapid Fire’, ‘Agile Footwork’. Too many pure ranged specialties, which is a flaw, but the ‘Enchant’ and ‘Shop User’ he possesses are definitely useful.
Kim Dokja quietly nodded at the evaluation.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s gaze, which had been sweeping the group, suddenly halted.
—…What is that? How is something like that even possible?
The flash of bewilderment in Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes made Kim Dokja whip her head around toward the party.
Who? Who is she looking at?
Lee Hyunsung and Park Jinwoo had already been mentioned, so they were out. That left Yoo Sangah, Jung Heewon, and Lee Gilyoung—but she couldn’t tell which of the three had drawn that reaction.
The party was chatting among themselves when Jung Heewon’s eyes happened to meet Yoo Joonghyuk’s.
“What are you staring at?”
—………….
Nice one, Heewon!
Kim Dokja clenched a fist in silent praise for the woman who had just fired a clean shot at the regressor.
—Should I kill her?
“Yoo Joonghyuk!”
Yoo Joonghyuk was glaring murderously at Jung Heewon while thinking about killing her. Kim Dokja quickly spoke up.
“Yoo Joonghyuk, there’s something I’ve been curious about.”
The regressor turned her head toward Kim Dokja.
“Why are you leaving Gong Pildu alone?”
“A prophet should already know.”
“Being a prophet doesn’t mean I know everything.”
Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ is currently using ‘Lie Detection’.
Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ has confirmed your words are true.
As thorough as ever, this bitch.
After running Lie Detection, Yoo Joonghyuk nodded as if satisfied and looked at Kim Dokja again.
“…I suppose so. Even a prophet’s ‘Future Sight’ level must still be low. I’m keeping Gong Pildu alive because I need him.”
“For the scenarios ahead, right? I already know Gong Pildu will be necessary later. But you only need ‘Gong Pildu’ himself—not the entire group that follows him.”
“………….”
Yoo Joonghyuk remained silent.
“Isn’t your style to eliminate anything unnecessary? Why are you just watching?”
—…Annoying.
Yoo Joonghyuk turned her body away mid-conversation, then fixed Kim Dokja with a cold stare.
“I have a great deal to do. You will never understand.”
“Wait! You can’t just say that and walk off. If you don’t move now, most of the people in Chungmuro will…!”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes flashed coldly. Her voice dropped to ice.
“I don’t care.”
Kim Dokja’s face twisted with anger, eyes blazing as she glared at the regressor. She clenched her fist and spoke.
“…Yoo Joonghyuk, can I punch you just once?”
“Do you have the confidence?”
Character ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ is currently using ‘Strong Protection Lv.5’.
“………….”
At the message that Strong Protection was active, Kim Dokja lowered her clenched fist.
“Looks like your business is finished, then….”
“Wait! Wait a second! Can I really hit you once?!”
“……………Haa.”
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a long sigh at Park Jinwoo’s voice, turned back around, and answered.
“Fine. If you have the confidence.”
“Then just wait a moment! It won’t take long?!”
Park Jinwoo waved his hand through empty air a few times and pulled a large-caliber sniper rifle out of nowhere.
“Wha…!?”
“J-Jinwoo-ssi?!”
The sudden appearance of the anti-materiel sniper rifle left both Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja visibly stunned. When Park Jinwoo leveled the barrel at Yoo Joonghyuk, the rest of the party behind him also froze in panic.
“I’m just gonna hit you once with a round from this anti-materiel sniper rifle. Just once, you bastard. Pick—head or heart. I’ll punch your one-way ticket to the afterlife….”
“If dying that way is your wish, I’ll grant it.”
Shing!
Yoo Joonghyuk’s startled expression vanished in an instant. Her face hardened into ice as she glared murderously at Park Jinwoo and drew Heaven Shaking Divine Sword.
“E-everyone, stop Jinwoo-ssi and Yoo Joonghyuk?!”
“J-Jinwoo-ssi! Calm down!!”
“J-Joonghyuk-ssi, you calm down too?! Jinwoo-ssi’s just a little drunk on soju!!”
“M-Master! Calm down. Okay? Calm down and put that sword away!”
“Hyung! Please just calm down a little!”
“Ah, seriously?! Jinwoo-ssi! Get a grip!!”
And so the entire party desperately clung to the two of them—Park Jinwoo, two bottles of soju deep and aiming an anti-materiel sniper rifle at Yoo Joonghyuk, and Yoo Joonghyuk, thoroughly pissed off at the sight—trying with all their might to stop the fight before it started.