The Abandoned World (5)

Standing with Yoo Sangah before the tent entrance, I overheard the conversation between Kim Dokja and Lee Sookyung.

I already knew their story, yet hearing it from their own mouths left me with a feeling that was difficult to put into words.

…Yeah. It’s a feeling that’s really hard to describe.

It brought back the first time I read Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint.

I had simply thought of it as another modern fantasy webtoon with nice art.

But before I knew it, I found myself completely immersed in the ORV webtoon.

Why was that, back then?

Was it because I was drawn to the way people carrying their own traumas helped one another clear the scenarios?

Or was it the catharsis of watching the protagonist Kim Dokja clear scenarios using her knowledge of the original work?

Or maybe because Kim Dokja’s past shared several similarities with mine, and I felt a sense of kinship?

It could have been all three. Or none of them.

The longer I listened to Kim Dokja and Lee Sookyung speak, the droplets of memory I had buried deep down—trying my hardest never to recall them—began riding the waves of nostalgia, or nightmares, and slowly drifted toward me.

Yeah… That’s also why I used Enchant to protect my mind when my party and I ran into the Specter horde on the railroad tracks.

I hadn’t wanted their mental attacks to drag these memories back up.

I closed my eyes for a moment and continued thinking when their voices cut clearly into my ears.

"If you still think of me as your child."

"I wonder whether you think of me as your mother."

"A little."

"Do you still resent me?"

"That’s not why I came."

"Your father was a bad man."

…

…

"There is a ‘law’ that says anyone who commits murder for any reason must go to prison."

"You talk well for someone who only reads novels."

"To me, reality felt more like a novel. Because of you."

…

…

"Are you going to lend it to me, or not?"

"I’ll lend it. But next time… introduce me to your friends as well. Especially that boyfriend of yours."

Huh?

I had been completely absorbed in their conversation until that single line shattered it.

I turned my head toward the tent entrance with a startled expression.

"What?"

Kim Dokja sounded just as flustered; her voice came out unsteady.

"The boyfriend you kissed. Make sure you bring him."

"…What are you planning to do to him?"

"I just want to talk with him for a moment."

For a split second I thought I heard Lee Sookyung grind her teeth while speaking.

It was only the sound of teeth grinding, yet goosebumps raced across my entire body.

"Yes, I’d like to have a short conversation. Especially about how you drank with that woman named Yoo Sangah last time and kissed her. I’d like to hear the details."

"…He chases women, but he’s still a good guy."

"Dokja. All men are wolves. He can act nice in front of his girlfriend, but behind her back he latches onto other women…"

"I’ll just keep him firmly under control."

"……Haa. Fine. You’ll handle that part yourself. Just don’t end up with a bad man the way your mother did."

……I’m really sorry for chasing women, Mother-in-law.

When Lee Sookyung let out a long sigh, I silently bowed my head and apologized to her in my heart.

Then, from inside the tent, came the sound of Lee Sookyung putting her mask back on.

The mother-daughter conversation was drawing to a close.

"Dokja. Look at reality properly. Even if fiction has become reality, you must never truly treat fiction as reality. Do you understand?"

"That’s right. I think of ‘fiction as if it were reality.’ Why? Because I’ve always lived that way."

"…………."

"It might look pathetic in your eyes. But know this: at least I don’t sell ‘reality as if it were fiction’ the way you did."

With those final words, rustling sounds came from inside the tent. Kim Dokja was about to step out.

I asked Yoo Sangah for understanding, released the hand I had been holding, and waited with her for Kim Dokja to emerge.

Flap!

When Kim Dokja came out of the tent, I simply looked at her without a word.

The moment she stepped outside, Kim Dokja met my gaze with trembling eyes.

I walked over, pulled her into a silent embrace, and gently patted her back.

"……Did you hear everything?"

"Yeah."

"Sangah-ssi too…?"

"Yeah. She just woke up and came out of My Room."

Kim Dokja bit her lip lightly at my words.

I looked at her and asked,

"Want to walk for a bit?"

She nodded slightly with her head still lowered. I turned to Yoo Sangah and asked with my eyes. Fortunately she nodded as well, so the three of us fell into step along the platform of Yongsan Station.

"By the way, how’s your hangover, Sangah-ssi?"

"I’m fine. I’m actually sorry I woke up so late."

"Don’t mention it. You moved us when Dokja and I went to the Underworld, and you stayed up late because of that."

After that we fell into silence for a while.

As we walked the platform of Yongsan Station in quiet, Kim Dokja carefully opened her mouth.

"You think it’s strange, don’t you? Why a mother and daughter would talk like that."

"N-no, not at all."

Yoo Sangah denied it, but her expression was honest.

Kim Dokja glanced between the two of us and asked,

"Do both of you want to know?"

"…If it wouldn’t be rude."

"……………."

At Yoo Sangah’s words and my silence, Kim Dokja gave a bitter little smile, stared into empty air, and slowly began to speak.

"My mother killed my father."

"………!"

I already knew the story, so I kept my face as calm as possible. Yoo Sangah’s eyes went wide with shock.

"She went to prison for it."

Kim Dokja continued.

"It might sound wrong to say this, but honestly my father deserved to die. Domestic violence, gambling, co-signing loans…"

As she dredged up the memories and trauma of her childhood, her voice began to tremble little by little.

Yet she didn’t seem to notice her own state.

"We got beaten every single day. Then one day Mom made up her mind, and everything exploded."

"…Ah."

"I thought it would become quite the rumor at the company, but you didn’t know, Yoo Sangah-ssi? Now it feels even stranger, right?"

"………."

Yoo Sangah listened in restless silence.

She had realized too late that she had touched a wound that should never have been touched.

And I was the same. I had deliberately prodded a wound that should have been left alone.

Kim Dokja seemed to know it as well; she gave a powerless smile and went on.

"Legally she was clearly in the wrong, but you probably can’t understand why I hate a mother like that on an emotional level."

"That’s not true! Even if I can’t completely understand because I’m not you…"

"Honestly, you think I should forgive her, don’t you?"

Yoo Sangah’s mouth snapped shut.

Kim Dokja glanced at us again and continued.

"Have you ever heard of a book called Notes from the Underground Murderer?"

When the conversation suddenly turned to a book, Yoo Sangah seemed to think the topic had changed and brightened a little.

"I think I’ve heard of it. It was a huge bestseller, right?"

"It’s an essay written in prison by a woman who killed her abusive husband. Critics at the time praised it to the skies."

Something felt off to Yoo Sangah; the bright expression vanished in an instant and she stared blankly at Kim Dokja.

"They said Korean literature finally had its own version of Notes from Underground. Of course, it was completely overrated."

"………."

Yoo Sangah’s face darkened rapidly.

She had realized it.

The topic had not changed at all.

There was no life in Kim Dokja’s eyes as she spoke. Her voice was flat, as if every emotion had died.

"That’s right. My mother wrote it."

We had stopped walking somewhere along the platform of Yongsan Station.

Yoo Sangah stared at her with her mouth open at the shocking revelation. I kept silent and simply watched Kim Dokja.

"I still remember. The reporters swarming in front of our house. Asking whether every word of that essay was true. All of it."

"I remember every single thing my classmates said. ‘Your mom’s making money by selling a murder, huh?’"

"Relatives said it too. ‘How dare a murderer show her face in the newspaper?’"

Yoo Sangah looked at her with worry.

"Dokja-ssi…"

"It was a little hard because of that. No… maybe for quite a long time."

"…………."

"Being the child of a murderer is something I can endure. But having that turned into a story and sold is a completely different kind of problem. The fact that my life is being converted into money by someone else…"

Kim Dokja looked up at the sky and finished.

"That’s an entirely different problem."

After staring blankly at the sky for a while, she turned back to us and asked,

"Do you still think I should forgive my mother?"

"…………."

Yoo Sangah could say nothing. She could only stare blankly at Kim Dokja’s face.

Then, suddenly, a smile appeared on Kim Dokja’s lips and she burst out laughing as she looked at us.

"Heh. Sorry. Actually it was all a jo—"

Whump.

"You really are something. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to get angry, just get angry honestly."

Well, we were “adults,” so we couldn’t express those feelings openly and always buried them inside.

I quietly hugged Kim Dokja from behind and spoke.

I turned my head to look at the two of them staring blankly at me and said,

"Then is it my turn now?"

I gave them a mischievous smile and continued.

"By childhood standards, I wasn’t born into a great family either."

I turned Kim Dokja’s body so she was held against my chest, looked up at the sky, and opened my mouth.

"A bit better than Dokja’s father, I guess, but still not a good dad. Gambling, affairs, co-signing loans, scams—our house was always noisy."

At least there was no domestic violence. That was the only silver lining.

"I was three when it happened, so I don’t remember clearly, but when I became a high-schooler my sister and mom told me."

Because of my father’s gambling ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and co-signed debts we had to sell the house we lived in, and we literally ended up on the street—not a metaphor.

Mom borrowed money from relatives and worked late into the night. My sister had to start working at a young age too.

And until life got a little better when I was in middle school, I always had to stay home alone until late at night.

Back then I was so jealous of other kids.

Kids who came home on time and ate happily with their families.

Kids who had parents or siblings who played with them on weekends.

Kids who sometimes went out to eat or to amusement parks. I was genuinely envious.

But I swallowed it all down.

I was old enough to know how hard Mom and my sister worked when they came home exhausted.

They were trying to fix the life that bastard of a father had ruined, so I endured.

And the first incident exploded when I was nine.

"That son of a bitch who’d been gone for years came back and introduced me to some young woman, saying this:"

"This person is going to be your new mom."

I was still little and didn’t understand what that meant, so I told Mom honestly.

"Mom, Dad called some woman my new mom. What does that mean? Are you not my mom anymore?"

What do you think happened next?

Of course a huge fight broke out between my parents.

It was so loud in the middle of the night that the neighbors woke up and came over to stop them.

My sister held little me and hid in the room. Because it had started because of me, I burst into tears.

In the end my parents divorced when I was nine.

"Even now I sometimes wonder. What if I hadn’t told Mom? What if I’d acted cute or thrown a tantrum and told Dad I still liked Mom the way she was? Would things have been different?"

My words had been the spark that finally made them divorce. Little me was heartbroken, and that trauma still sat in my heart at twenty-six.

"After that it was different from Dokja’s but similar in flavor. Somehow the rumor spread, and lots of kids teased me saying I had no dad, that I was an orphan. And I even heard it from the parents of the kids who teased me."

When many of the kids I was close with were told by their parents not to play with “me,” I resented the whole world.

I looked at Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah staring blankly at me, gave a bitter smile, and continued.

"I mentioned my dad’s gambling and co-signed debts, right? The next incident started from there."

Loan sharks who’d lent money to that bastard father came to our house.

Morning, noon, night—they showed up whenever they felt like it and screamed for their money. I can still see those thug bastards.

Most of them didn’t bother laying hands on a kid.

But “most” didn’t include all of them. A few did.

They hit me lightly, and when I was alone they smashed things right in front of me or threw them so the shards cut me.

"Now you know why I was so hostile to those gangster bastards at Geumho Station. It was all because of that past."

Even now, if I saw thugs swaggering in front of me, the old memories would surge up and my eyes would roll back.

"Luckily that daily life didn’t last long. When I got hurt from their bullying, Mom flipped out, grabbed a knife, and tried to stab them."

The thugs panicked and ran. The next time they came, an uncle I was close with at the time protected me.

I later heard he’d been a violent-crimes detective.

He’d been on vacation, resting at home, when he suddenly thought of me, brought snacks, and found the thugs harassing me. He arrested them on the spot.

Anyway, he told Mom everything, and together they went to the loan shark who’d lent money to that bastard father. They said we were divorced and that if they came again we’d kill them all and then ourselves.

That finally freed our family from the thugs, but because of what happened then I gained my second trauma.

"Not every thug was a bad person. Some felt sorry for my situation, bought me black-bean noodles, or advised me to learn taekwondo or boxing so I could protect myself."

But for every person like that, there were always trash who did the exact opposite.

"Isn’t it ironic? I hate thugs, yet I ended up acting like one."

"Jinwoo-ssi…"

"…Jinwoo."

At the worried looks from both of them I let out a short laugh.

"Maybe because of what I learned when I was little, from middle school on I grew up fighting other kids a lot."

The middle school I entered happened to be an all-boys school, so I really fought a lot back then.

In sixth grade I begged Mom and learned taekwondo and boxing.

The memory of being hit by gangsters for years made me never want to be hit by anyone again. I wanted to become strong, so I learned them.

Thanks to the taekwondo and boxing I started in sixth grade, I could easily win fights against other kids.

Of course having a decent physique at the time helped too.

I fought so much that my sister, who worked less than Mom, always came to school in her place to apologize to the other parents and teachers.

And I got smacked by my sister every time.

But I could never talk back to her. When Mom wasn’t around, she was the one who raised me.

"Even now it’s amazing. I was scared of my sister, and even when she scolded me not to fight, I kept brawling with kids until I graduated middle school."

I closed my eyes and dredged up the old memories again.

"Ah, right, right. In sixth grade I was in a big car accident."

Every now and then I met that bastard father and got free meat. That was when I was in elementary school.

I went to meet him late at night, got into a traffic accident, and Mom and Dad had another huge fight. After that I never heard from him again.

"It was really dangerous, you know? The impact was so hard that all the tendons in my left arm snapped. My skin was torn up badly too."

It was dangerous. No—it was a chilling memory. When I rode the ambulance that came after the call and arrived at the nearby hospital,

the doctor’s words outside the room I was lying in are still burned into my brain.

"If we don’t reconnect the tendons within twenty-four hours, you may never use the arm again. And the wound is so large that if bacteria got in, worst case we might have to amputate."

How terrifying those words were to a child.

I still remember.

Bleeding heavily, half-conscious, the doctors hurriedly pouring disinfectant straight onto my left arm while I clenched my teeth and held back screams.

Luckily, in the middle of the night the ambulance took me to a hospital famous for tendon surgery. I got the operation safely, the left arm recovered, and after I became an adult I had plastic surgery to erase the scars.

"After that it’s a boring story. Before I graduated middle school Mom remarried and life got easier. In high school I got my head straight, studied, got my first girlfriend, broke up, became a college student, got a second girlfriend, broke up, went to the army, worked in a factory for two years to save tuition, graduated college, and studied to become a civil servant."

I smiled at Kim Dokja and Yoo Sangah, who still looked at me with silent eyes, and spoke.

"Well, don’t look at me like that. It’s embarrassing. I’m fine. I’ve overcome it to some degre—"

In the middle of speaking,

a soft sensation and a sweet scent brushed against my chest.

Then something gentle tapped my back, and something small and soft took my hand.

Kim Dokja wriggled inside my arms, pulled her arms free, and lightly patted my back. Yoo Sangah had come up beside me and taken my hand.

At the gentle comfort of the two women I gave a bitter smile, closed my eyes, and said,

"I really didn’t say all that because I wanted comfort."

But it really helped a lot.

The surge of emotion from dredging up old memories vanished in an instant.

We stayed silent for a while, simply enjoying one another’s warmth.

I pushed the memories I’d just pulled out back down, stuffed the negative feelings that had welled up deep inside, and let out a short laugh.

"Still, if all the misfortunes I went through were so I could end up dating the beautiful women in front of me, then they were worth enduring. Right?"

"……What are you even saying, you idiot."

"…I suddenly feel embarrassed, Jinwoo-ssi."

"Heh heh. You two are just too cute, aren’t you?"

Watching their faces and ears turn red, I burst out laughing.

"Dokja-ssi! Jinwoo-ssi!"

At that moment the sound of our companions running toward us reached us. Kim Dokja reflexively pushed me away, and Yoo Sangah reflexively let go of my hand.

Jung Heewon, who had run over with the others, asked us,

"What, did the three of you kiss again?"

"K-kiss?"

At Jung Heewon’s words Yoo Sangah’s face turned even redder than before.

"Look at Yoo Sangah-ssi’s face turning red. You did it, you did!"

Jung Heewon smiled with her eyes and glanced at me. I pretended to wipe the corners of my eyes and said,

"Sob sob… I wish we had."

"…Don’t rub salt in a single’s wounds."

"You’re so cold, Heewon-ssi."

"Yes, yes, of course you would say that."

After answering me coldly, Jung Heewon turned to Kim Dokja.

"Grandma Lee Bok-sun came looking for us. Did ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you call her, Dokja-ssi?"

Thud.

The sound of something tapping the ground came from nearby. I turned my head toward it.

An old woman leaning on a cane was walking this way.

It was Grandma Lee Bok-sun, whom we had seen during the Disaster of Water last time.

"Heh heh, what use is this old body… Long time no see, young ones."

"Yes, I called her. Everyone who needs to gather is here, so let’s get going."

We left Yongsan Station at once and headed to the place where people were gathered.

The kings and Yoo Joonghyuk’s party were already assembled there.

Through the Great Hall, a pure-white crystal decorated with gold ornaments was slowly descending from the sky.

A crystal that scattered light so dazzling it almost hurt the eyes.

If I could sell that later or use it as a lantern substitute, it’d be perfect.

But I couldn’t.

Because the name of that item was the Warp Crystal.

That crystal was the very item that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠would transport us to the next scenario area—Peace Land.

Looking closely at the crystal, I could see a total of five slots.

If we inserted the talismans we had obtained so far into those slots, the Warp Crystal would begin to operate.

As I pushed through the crowd with my companions,

I marked Kim Dokja’s subspace coat with the formula for Hiraishin no Jutsu and kept moving forward.

Finally we broke through the crowd and stood before the crystal.

Yoo Joonghyuk, who had been standing there first, glanced at us and said,

"You’re here."

"Yeah. Unfortunately."

"You can sit this one out."

Kim Dokja looked at Yoo Joonghyuk as if she had heard something completely unexpected.

But Yoo Joonghyuk continued without looking at her.

"Planning to leave your boyfriend behind?"

"…What?"

"It’s going to get hard."

Kim Dokja stared blankly at her.

"It might be the last time."

"…Well. I’ll just have to make sure it isn’t."

"…Looks like you’ve made up your mind. Then live as if you’re ready to die at any moment."

"I will, but could you talk a little nicer? That hurts."

Yoo Joonghyuk suddenly glared at Kim Dokja with killing intent and continued.

"Don’t forget. I still haven’t paid you back for hitting me."

"…Do you want me to live or die? Anyway, I’d almost forgotten, so thanks for reminding me. Really."

After finishing with Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja seemed to give brief instructions to the party through group chat. She glanced at them, then looked at me.

I had been about to activate Midday Tryst first, but Kim Dokja messaged me first through the group chat.

While we briefly exchanged messages about being careful and that I’d catch up soon,

sparks began to fly above the Warp Crystal, and from those sparks the low-grade dokkaebi Youngki appeared with an urgent expression.

【Wait a moment…! I’m really sorry, but there’s an emergency announcement!】

The people gathered around the Warp Crystal began to murmur at the low-grade dokkaebi’s words.

【I completely forgot, but the initial allocation of participants from Seoul Dome is eight people, not ten.】

"What the hell are you talking about all of a sudden?"

【Well… while the fifth scenario was in progress, part of the dimension twisted and some people already crossed over into the sixth scenario.】

"What? There are already people who went in?"

【Yes. Currently two people from Seoul Dome have already entered the scenario.】

Kim Dokja looked at me as if she had realized something.

I nodded at her gaze, confirming that what she was thinking was correct.

【Even though they entered due to a scenario error, for the sake of fairness we will subtract two people from the original allocation.】

"What?! How is that fair?"

"That’s your responsibility! Why are you dumping it on us?!"

The ones who hadn’t even been selected made the biggest fuss.

Our companions also looked troubled as they turned to Kim Dokja.

"What do we do, Dokja-ssi?"

At their question Kim Dokja also looked troubled as she stared at the low-grade dokkaebi ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Youngki and the Warp Crystal.

"Ah, whatever. Just insert them first."

I began taking out the talismans stored in My Room.

The Imuntar Tribe Talisman obtained by capturing Ignis.

The Parasite Tribe Talisman obtained by capturing Myeong Ilsang.

The Invago Tribe Talisman obtained by defeating the Disaster of Floods, Shin Yooseung.

The Mistilteinn Tribe Talisman obtained by capturing the Ice Dragon.

The Belkia Tribe Talisman obtained by capturing Orcanox.

When I took out all five talismans, a system message appeared in front of the Warp Crystal.

At that message I inserted the talismans one by one.

When all five talismans were inserted, a bright light burst from the Warp Crystal. Then the five pillars surrounding it opened, and the Warp Crystal floated gently into the air.

Soon a blue dimensional gate formed beneath the Warp Crystal floating in the sky.

I looked at it, then turned to my companions who were staring blankly this way and said,

"Now leave two people out and get in already."