The Ice Calamity (4)

I swam across the river of saliva pooled inside the Ice Ghost Dragon's mouth. Then I twisted my face into a hard grimace.

"Fuck… It reeks like hell, and it's all sticky. This is disgusting…."

Being completely soaked in the Ice Ghost Dragon's drool left me feeling thoroughly filthy. I let out a small sigh at my miserable state, bought some water from the general store, and dumped the entire thing over my head.

Splash.

"…Fuck."

The water pouring over my head washed away some of the Ice Ghost Dragon's saliva, but the lingering stench of its drool and the foul reek of its mouth still stabbed at my nose — no, it felt like it was stabbing my entire body.

"Ugh… Sorry, Oppa… I can't take any more…!!"

"J-Jinwoo-ssi… I'm truly sorry!"

"…Hang in there, Jinwoo-ssi."

"………………."

Rattle! Clack!

Lee Jihye, Lee Hyunsung, and Lee Seolhwa — who had been casually watching the Ice Ghost Dragon's interior through My Room's open window — went pale green at the creature's godawful breath and scrambled back from the glass.

Last of all, Yoo Joonghyuk, face contorted in silence, wordlessly slammed My Room's window shut.

"…Son of a bitch."

That damn turtle bastard. I'd felt a little bad about roasting its asshole with the Flame of Destruction earlier, but that apology was hereby revoked. The second I got back outside, I wasn't just going to sear its asshole again — this time I'd slap an ice enchantment on the Flame of Destruction and give that hole a proper cold compress.

I stepped across the Ice Ghost Dragon's soft, strangely warm tongue and walked deeper into its body.

Before long, I found its uvula.

"…Hmm."

I stared at the Ice Ghost Dragon's uvula and fell into brief thought. Should I punch that sandbag-looking thing on my way down, or just keep going?

"Eh, just hit it."

It took me all of five seconds to settle that dilemma.

The crime of dunking me in its spit (?), the crime of never brushing its teeth and thus having breath that could kill a man (?), the crime of having a uvula that looked like a punching bag from the start (?), plus assorted other offenses — I clenched my fist hard as they all came to mind.

Black energy rose around my body, and I felt a little stronger.

Next I activated Agile Footwork and started laying down my steps.

After that, I pulled on the black gloves I'd bought last time inside My Room so I could receive the effect of Advanced Weapon Tempering Lv.1.

I activated Amplification and boosted the striking power of my fist.

When I activated White Pure Demonic Energy next, blue-white energy flared around my clenched fist.

Then I wrapped the wind of Path of Wind around my whole body, finishing my preparations to boost my movement speed and drive the punch in even harder.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"You damn turtle bastard. Let's see you die properly for once."

I slowly lifted and set my feet on the Ice Ghost Dragon's tongue, repeating the motion as I worked through my footwork. And then—

Thud!

I activated Acceleration last and kicked my speed into overdrive.

Power flowed from the tips of my toes through my legs, waist, shoulders, and arms, amplifying the destructive force of my fist. My Strength of 63, my Agility, and every skill effect all lent a hand to make this single punch as effective as possible.

Then, feeling every muscle in my body contract and expand in a single instant, I slammed my fist into the Ice Ghost Dragon's uvula with everything I had.

KRAAAAAAANG—!!

Hit dead-on, the uvula rocked like a real sandbag. The spot my fist had struck caved in, and blood poured from the wound.

Drip.

"Mmm… Still, it's dragon blood. Should I collect some?"

I bought empty plastic bottles from the general store and started catching the Ice Ghost Dragon's blood. Midway through, the creature's interior suddenly began to shake hard.

Rumble-rumble-rumble—!

"…Now what?"

When the inside of its body started quaking like an earthquake, I scowled and kept filling the bottles with its blood.

Once I'd roughly filled them, I stashed the bottles in My Room and was about to walk deeper into its body again — when, far ahead, something opaque and liquid came surging toward me, with lumpy masses floating inside it.

Those lumps were the Ice Ghost Dragon's vomit. Its stomach acid and the corpses of the monsters it had eaten for dinner had clumped together and were overflowing in my direction.

"…Shower."

Right before the vomit could touch me, I linked My Room's door to the shower and dove inside.

Thud!

"…I'm seeing way too much nasty shit today."

Getting roasted by a turtle's breath, getting skewered in Jihye's place, staring at a turtle's asshole, and now looking at turtle puke — today really was a hell of a day. Screw this.

Once inside My Room's shower, I stripped off every piece of clothing soaked in Ice Ghost Dragon drool and took a quick rinse.

With the creature's vomit flooding the outside right now, even someone with a stomach as strong as mine couldn't reasonably keep going through its insides with that stuff all over me.

Maybe I shouldn't have punched the uvula…?

A wave of regret hit me for a second, but it had been a pretty satisfying bit of revenge, so I decided to let it slide.

I finished my light shower while my mind wandered, changed into fresh clothes, and stepped out into My Room's living room.

There I found my companions staring out the window, faces pale as death. For some reason they were in a full-blown panic, screaming as they peered through the glass.

"O-Oppa? Jinwoo Oppaaaaaa!!"

"J-Jinwoo-ssi? Jinwoo-ssiiiiii!!"

"W-What do we do?! What are we supposed to do?!"

"C-Calm down. If it's him, he'll be fine… fine… No, it's hopeless after all. What a wretched end…."

Lee Jihye and Lee Hyunsung were bawling their eyes out calling my name, while Lee Seolhwa shook Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder in a panic.

Yoo Joonghyuk herself was deathly pale, stammering as she tried to calm Lee Seolhwa, then suddenly muttered something under her breath.

"W-What? Why are they acting like that?"

"…That actually makes sense. You're smarter than I thought, huh?"

I ignored my little dragon buddy and looked back at the group. Lee Jihye wailed through her sobs, voice thick with despair.

"What do we do about Oppa…. Masterrr… What do we do about Oppa…?! W-What do we do for real…? Did Oppa just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠get swept away in that turtle's vomit and die?! Th-This can't be right…."

"Ah, ah… Jinwoo-ssi…. W-We, I… I'm so sorry I couldn't be of any help…."

Beside Lee Jihye, Lee Hyunsung's simple, honest eyes welled up, and fat tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"……………."

Lee Seolhwa stopped shaking Yoo Joonghyuk's shoulder and sank to the floor with a hollow expression, staring blankly through My Room's window.

Last of all, Yoo Joonghyuk squeezed her eyes shut, then gazed out the window with a mournful look and said nothing.

This is fucking hilarious. Why are their reactions so delicious?

Watching them from behind, I snickered quietly to myself and headed for My Room's kitchen.

Clunk.

I opened the freezer, pulled out a Melona, peeled off the wrapper, and stuck the bar in my mouth.

Yep. Sweet.

With the sweet melon-flavored ice cream between my teeth, I headed back to the living room. The surge of vomit had died down a little, and the four of them were clustered in front of the window, eyes wide, searching for something beyond the glass.

Adorable. I should watch a little longer.

Even after confirming the scene, I said nothing and just kept watching. Someone out there would probably ask me:

'Why are you standing there watching your companions worry about you?'

And to that person, I would answer:

'Because it's cute.'

Aside from Lee Hyunsung, when else was I going to get to watch these people wear their emotions so openly?

Ah, right. Film it. Film it.

I'd almost forgotten. When else was I going to capture a group blackmail moment like this? With pure, wholesome intentions (?), I pulled out my smartphone to record them.

I opened the camera app, hit the video record button, and started filming my companions as they cried and desperately searched for me.

"I-I don't see him here! Soldier-ajusshi, did you find Jinwoo Oppa?!"

"N-Not here either! Seolhwa-ssi, Joonghyuk-ssi — can you see Jinwoo-ssi?!"

"I can't see him either…."

"I don't see him either."

The longer time dragged on, the more urgency flooded their faces — and gradually, despair rose to the surface.

Thud!

"I-It's no use. I can't see him at all…."

Watching Lee Jihye tear up, looking so fragile and delicate, I felt a lump form in my chest for no good reason.

So our Jihye really did care about me that much…. This Oppa is so happy.

Since I'm happy, I'll film plenty. If not now, when else am I going to capture your fragile side, the way you cry?

"Jinwoo-ssi…."

Lee Hyunsung shed tears with those pure, cow-like eyes of his.

"…I haven't even repaid the favor yet."

Lee Seolhwa, whom I'd only met a few days ago, quietly cried as she stared through the window, as if something about this was unbearably sad.

"……………."

Yoo Joonghyuk gazed endlessly out the window, then clenched her fist tight and lowered her head.

Mmm~ So good~!

Munching on my sweet Melona while filming my companions' darkest hour, I wore a bright, sunny smile.

"But if not now, when am I ever going to see my companions looking this cute?"

These bastards are starting shit again? People can be like this sometimes, for fuck's sake.

I wanted to dump a whole bucket of curses on the Constellations picking a fight, but if I did that, the people right in front of me would definitely notice — so I held it in.

Then, suddenly, Yoo Joonghyuk put her hand on My Room's window and began speaking to the others.

"…Everyone, pull yourselves together. Are you going to waste the chance Park Jinwoo prepared to subjugate the Ice Calamity like this? Stand up. And take up your weapons. Only then can we avenge him."

Huh?

What just came out of Yoo Joonghyuk's mouth? Was she saying she'd take revenge for me?

I stared at her with a blank expression. I'd been planning to film a little more, then jump out with a Ta-da! I was here the whole time! — but the timing, the atmosphere, had shifted into something awkward.

Lee Jihye looked up at her master from where she sat on the floor. Whether she was still grieving my death (I wasn't dead) or not, tear-drops still clung to her lashes.

"…M-Master."

"Lee Jihye. Take up your sword. At the very least, we must avenge him. Then our hearts will find peace, and Park Jinwoo will be able to rest easy as well."

"Yeah…. We have to…."

Lee Jihye roughly wiped her eyes with her arm at her master's comfort, then shot to her feet with murder and vengeance burning in her gaze.

"Lee Hyunsung, take up your shield. Lee Seolhwa, throw hidden weapons from the rear, and prepare to treat the wounded immediately in case of emergency."

"Yes, understood."

"Yes…."

At Yoo Joonghyuk's words, Lee Hyunsung and Lee Seolhwa steeled their resolve and began checking their shield and throwing weapons respectively.

Then Yoo Joonghyuk turned back, about to say more to the group — and her expression froze solid.

Because behind them, she had spotted me standing there with a smartphone in one hand and a Melona in my mouth.

"………………."

"………………."

A heavy silence fell over My Room's living room. I clamped my mouth shut, hastily shoved the phone into my pocket, and dropped my eyes. Yoo Joonghyuk slowly twisted her face into a hard scowl, then glared at me with murder in her eyes.

I kept my gaze lowered, then snuck a look at her face. She apparently knew what shame and humiliation felt like — both of her pale cheeks had gone bright red.

She must have realized I'd overheard everything, including her, and flushed with embarrassment and mortification.

"Master? What are you staring at so hard that you're fre—"

Lee Jihye cut herself ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠off mid-sentence. When she saw Yoo Joonghyuk frozen and staring somewhere, she turned her head the same way — and she, too, found me, going rigid as she stared blankly in my direction.

Lee Hyunsung ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and Lee Seolhwa turned next, puzzled by the other two's reactions, and had the exact same response as Yoo Joonghyuk and Lee Jihye.

"………………."

"………………."

Fuck. What do I do?

All four of them stared at me with the light gone from their eyes, and terror locked my body in place. Yoo Joonghyuk's and Lee Jihye's gazes in particular were no joke.

When I saw both of their hands slowly reaching for the swords at their hips, I deliberately stretched with a big, loud yawn.

"Urrrgh… Wow~ My whole body got soaked in turtle drool so I just hopped in the shower for a bit. Something going on, everyone? Why's the mood like this? Oh my? Time's really gotten away from us. I'll resume the turtle-body expedition now!"

Thud-thud-thud-thud! Bang!

I kicked My Room's door hard enough to nearly smash it and bolted outside.

Fortunately, once I was out, the Ice Ghost Dragon's vomit had stopped flowing. Confirming that, I pinched my nose shut and sprinted deeper into its body.

Otherwise the four people still inside My Room were going to tear me apart.

I moved my feet diligently, and soon found a dark, deep pit. That pit was the Ice Ghost Dragon's esophagus.

If I go down there… I'll reach its stomach.

I could go to the Ice Ghost Dragon's stomach like during the Sea Commander fight with Kim Dokja and raise hell there to subjugate it — but this time I was going to take a different approach.

I would climb partway down the esophagus, punch a hole through the middle section, and find the Ice Ghost Dragon's heart.

A dragon-turtle is still a dragon. If I take its heart, I'm bound to get some incredible effects out of it.

Even if the effects weren't that great, it didn't really matter. The content of this sub-scenario was ultimately just to kill the Ice Ghost Dragon.

I would kill it, extract its skills, extract its parts, and then use those parts and the core I extracted from it to craft weapons through the Dokkaebi Bag's exchange.

…Is it time to graduate from Barisada?

I stroked the scabbard of Barisada hanging at my hip and gave a bitter smile.

An A-grade weapon obtained from the Theater Dungeon's reward room. I'd used it well all this time, but I could feel its edge growing dull.

I didn't fully understand why, but items other than Relics supposedly had to be replaced as time passed — more precisely, as scenarios progressed — because the performance gap with mid-to-late-game items became too large.

Whether that was true or not, the blade didn't feel as sharp as it had back in the Theater Dungeon when I first used Barisada.

And if I craft a weapon from the materials I get hunting the Ice Ghost Dragon, it'll be a huge help killing that damn mutant snake bastard that shows up in the sixth scenario.

Someone might ask why I didn't make a weapon from the parts I got killing Ignir. But there was a reason for that.

I was planning to gather more necessary materials later and craft something with those.

I was spacing out for a moment, imagining the weapon I'd make from the Ice Ghost Dragon materials, when—

Rattle!

The sound of My Room's window opening came from beside me. I was about to turn my head when—

Whack!

"Ack?!"

Someone smacked me hard across the head. I clutched my skull on pure reflex and yelped at the sudden impact.

Once I'd calmed my startled heart and looked at My Room's window, there was Lee Jihye — face flushed red, tears still at the corners of her eyes — glaring at me with a face twisted in rage.

She huffed so hard her face went crimson, then bellowed at me.

"Oppa! How could you pull a prank like that on us?! Do you have any idea how worried we were!!"

"Nooo… I wasn't trying to mess with you, I really just barely made it into My Room's shower right before the turtle vomit hit me, took a shower, and came ou—"

"Shut up! Don't make excuses!!"

"…Hngh."

Our cute little Jihye yelling at her Oppa like that. Kids really do hit puberty early, huh? Ah, right — our Jihye is a high schooler.

Shing.

Then I heard the sound of someone drawing a blade. A chilling sensation followed, and I hurriedly threw myself sideways.

Flash!

A small light glittered inside My Room's window, and a blade of sword-energy came flying straight at me.

Slash!!

I flinched hard as the blue sword-energy tore through the spot where I'd been standing. Forcing my trembling eyes to move, I snuck a look at My Room's window.

Yoo Joonghyuk was staring me down with a face frozen cold, the Jincheon Blade in her hand.

"This time I really will kill you, Park Jinwoo."

Whether she truly meant to kill me or not, the cold, fiercely burning murder ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in both her eyes made cold sweat run down my back as I spoke to her.

"J-Joonghyuk-ah? Just hear me out for a second, okay? I can totally explain everythi—?!"

Slash!!

I was still talking when Yoo Joonghyuk moved her hand again, and I scrambled clear of her sword-energy.

"I'll hear your excuses after you're dead."

"People can't make excuses after they're dead, you know?!"

"Shut up. This time I'll tear that mouth of yours apart for good."

With that, Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes spun completely off their axis and she started flinging sword-energy at me with wild abandon.

I twisted and dodged through this unexpected game of death tag. Considering Yoo Joonghyuk's overall stats and the level of her Breaking the Sky Energy Force, taking even one of those blades would mean a critical injury I couldn't avoid.

Slash!! Slash!! Slash!!

"Wai—! Just a—! Joonghyuk-ah?! Let's talk this thr—! Talk it out!!"

"…I'll kill you! Kill you! This time I will definitely kill you!!"

The more sword-energy Yoo Joonghyuk threw, and the more I dodged it, the more wounds from her blades carved into the Ice Ghost Dragon's body.

GROOOOAAARR…!!

A massive scream from the Ice Ghost Dragon swept past my ears. Apparently Yoo Joonghyuk's swordplay was hurting it too.

Well, if someone crawled inside your body and started swinging a sword around, of course it would hurt….

I activated White Pure Demonic Energy, poured mana into Barisada, and — just like Yoo Joonghyuk — started firing blades of White Pure Demonic Energy at her sword-energy.

Slash!!

Slash!!

KRAAAAAANG!!

The collision of the two sword-energies set off a massive explosion. Even so, Yoo Joonghyuk still couldn't contain her rage and kept flinging blades.

BOOM!! Bang!! KRAAAANG!!

KWOOOOOO…!!

Fuck. Sorry, turtle.

As successive explosions erupted from the clashing sword-energy, the Ice Ghost Dragon's screams rang out again. I apologized to it in my heart.

I dodged in a panic as Yoo Joonghyuk kept launching blade after blade without rest.

Squelch!

"Ugh, damn it…."

Then I stepped in a nearby puddle of Ice Ghost Dragon vomit, face crumpling as I swung my sword to block her energy.

After several minutes of dodging, blocking, and canceling her blades with my own, I gave up on persuading Yoo Joonghyuk and started begging the three people glaring at me from My Room's window for help.

"Joonghyuk-ah!! I-I really was wrong?! Jihye-ya!! Hyunsung-ssi!! Seolhwa-ssi!! Please save me!!"

But reality was colder than I'd expected.

"No. It's your fault, Oppa. Deal with it yourself."

Lee Jihye scowled at my plea and whipped her head away.

"I'm sorry, Jinwoo-ssi…."

Lee Hyunsung glanced at my face, then squeezed his eyes shut and fell silent.

"…You reaped what you sowed, Jinwoo-ssi."

Lee Seolhwa just watched me with a cool little smile.

"Kh…! I just took a shower! And, and I just watched while eating a Melona!!"

Hearing me, Yoo Joonghyuk ground her teeth hard and poured even more mana into the Jincheon Blade. I went pale and, just like her, poured mana into Barisada.

"Park Jinwoo!!!"

"Joonghyuk-ah, I really was wrong. Please forgive me!!!"

KRAAAAAAANG—!!!

Gwooooorr……….

Thirty minutes had already passed since one side started throwing sword-energy to kill me and the other started throwing it to defend.

The Ice Ghost Dragon's voice, which had screamed so loudly at first, had lost its strength and now sounded like a weak, ailing moan.

I rolled my eyes and took in the sight — its mouth was torn open with massive wounds from the sword-energy Yoo Joonghyuk and I had been flinging, blood pouring freely.

I grimaced at the grotesque scene. But unlike me, Yoo Joonghyuk still seemed to have energy to spare, huffing as she kept pouring mana into the Jincheon Blade.

"Argh, damn it!"

At this rate, the only outcomes were Yoo Joonghyuk exhausting herself with no end in sight, or me dying. One or the other.

All or nothing….

I'd fire Der Freischütz at where the Ice Ghost Dragon's brain should be and cut off its life.

Then I'd quickly extract skills and parts from the dead Ice Ghost Dragon's corpse and get the hell out.

With the plan set, I stashed Barisada in My Room and pulled out my Relic — Der Freischütz.

Click.

"Hooo…."

Gulp! Gulp!

To recover the mana I'd burned throwing White Pure Demonic Energy blades for thirty minutes, I bought a mana potion from the Dokkaebi Bag and downed it immediately.

Preparations complete, I activated the skill.

"Hooo… The recoil on this thing is so brutal I really don't want to use it…."

Whoosh!

The moment I activated the skill, blue flames wrapped around the Relic. A cloak of perfectly blended blue and gold settled over my shoulders, and blue fire bloomed in my eyes.

"……?!"

Yoo Joonghyuk, mid-swing, froze in that exact posture, face crumpling as she glared at me.

Lee Jihye, Lee Hyunsung, and Lee Seolhwa — seeing me like this for the first time — stared with blank faces.

"Cough…."

That single bullet drained more than fifty percent of the mana I currently had. The backlash from the mana leaving my body so fast made blood start flowing from the corner of my mouth.

"Huff… huff…."

I slowly steadied my breathing while blood ran from my lips, then began activating other skills.

The black energy rising around my body began gathering at Der Freischütz's muzzle.

When I activated Amplification, formless energy soaked into Der Freischütz.

I layered Acceleration onto it so the magic bullet inside Der Freischütz would fly even harder.

"Huff… huff…."

The massive wave of power gathering in Der Freischütz made my fingertips tremble for no good reason. Or was it because I'd used too much mana? I wasn't sure.

Drip.

Every time my mana heart recovered power, Der Freischütz greedily devoured it and grew stronger.

Because of that, my body was gradually turning into a wreck. Blood that had only been flowing from my mouth now started pouring from both nostrils as well.

Damn it… In this state, the Flame of Destruction or Enchantments are out of the question.

I'd used skills while chugging mana potions just to get this thing to Level 2, and the mana cost was still enormous.

But that was exactly how devastating this skill's power was.

Click.

I aimed the muzzle at the spot where I estimated the creature's brain to be. Then I slowly began to pull the trigger.

As I did, a blue magic circle started forming in front of Der Freischütz's barrel.

At Level 1, a magic bullet wrapped in blue flame had simply flown out. At Level 2, a blue magic circle formed like this.

BANG——!!

The moment I fully pulled the trigger, a bullet wreathed in blue flame shot toward the Ice Ghost Dragon's palate.

Fwoooosh!!

The magic bullet that touched the palate punched straight through it in an instant and kept flying upward without stopping.

KRAAAANG!!!

A sonic boom erupted belatedly in the path the magic bullet had taken. Centered on the hole it had punched through, blue flames began to burn the Ice Ghost Dragon's palate.

And then—

"Puh—!! Uweeeegh…!!"

The recoil from firing Der Freischütz made me cough up blood.

The amount pouring from my mouth was incomparable to the trickle from earlier.

…Kh!! Damn it…!! I really shouldn't have stacked all those other skills on top…?!

I'd lost so much blood that my vision started to swim. Blood kept flowing nonstop from my eyes, nose, and mouth.

"———!!!"

"———!!!"

"———!!!"

Someone was shouting something loud near my ears. But I'd lost so much blood that I couldn't make out the words.

Forcing strength into my eyes, I glanced sideways and saw Lee Jihye, Lee Hyunsung, and Lee Seolhwa running toward me with urgent faces.

I stared blankly at them — and a system message rose before my eyes.

That message meant the Ice Ghost Dragon was dead. The magic bullet I'd fired had killed it.

I felt joy at the massive coin reward, satisfaction that my magic bullet was strong enough to kill the creature, and—

Looking at Lee Jihye, Lee Hyunsung, and Lee Seolhwa staring down at me with tears in their eyes, and finally at Yoo Joonghyuk as she sheathed the Jincheon Blade and gazed down at me in silence — I felt relief.

Do you know why I used Der Freischütz, a skill that eats mana like crazy and has brutal recoil in exchange for its power?

The answer was surprisingly simple.

This way, the kids won't give me any more shit….

Everyone in front of me was a good person. Yoo Joonghyuk's humanity had worn thin from regression, but originally she was a kind person too.

Would people like that really get angry at an injured companion? They'd yell at me once I woke up later, sure.

But not right now.

I felt a small wave of relief at that, closed my eyes, and lost consciousness.