Chapter 82: The Eraser Within My Mind
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 82: The Eraser Within My Mind
No matter the circumstances, an unmarried man and woman could not spend the night in the same room. To Tyrkanzyaka, this was a piece of common sense that could not be questioned.
After leading him into the room, Tyrkanzyaka laid him down on the bed. She couldn't bring herself to undress him, so she had to let him lie there fully clothed, uncomfortable as it might be.
Perhaps it was due to the accumulated fatigue of three days. The moment his head hit the pillow, he was fast asleep.
Tyrkanzyaka silently covered him with a blanket and left, settling herself in front of his room. Perched atop her coffin with her parasol resting on her shoulder, she passed the night with the sound of his breathing as her backdrop.
Then, just before the daytime lights flickered on, the Dog King appeared. Azzy, the Dog King, walked lightly down the long corridor. For a moment, Tyrkanzyaka’s grip on her parasol tightened.
“Woof?”
But upon seeing Tyrkanzyaka, Azzy merely tilted her head.
Tyrkanzyaka was reminded anew of what she had regained, and she felt a small surge of emotion.
The simple fact that the Dog King did not bark was, to her, a small joy. The emotions she had regained touched her in such trivial moments.
“You truly do not bark…”
Azzy spoke to Tyrkanzyaka, who was blocking the door.
“Woof! It’s morning! Time to wake him up!”
“Wait. I shall wake him…”
“Woof! Woof!”
In the instant Tyrkanzyaka opened the door, Azzy shot through the gap like an arrow. She then bounded around the room, barking furiously.
Startled, Tyrkanzyaka followed her inside.
Azzy was certainly loud enough. Loud enough to wake even someone who had lost their memories.
He slowly sat up like a mummy. Despite having slept, his eyes were still vacant, staring into the empty air.
“Are you awake?”
Tyrkanzyaka spoke to him as she had the day before. She didn't expect an answer. She simply wanted to create a routine for him.
Just then.
“Hello…”
The voice from the bed startled Tyrkanzyaka so much she felt her heart drop.
“Shei! Shei!”
Tyrkanzyaka immediately had him sit in the coffin and flew straight to Shei. When a bleary-eyed Shei opened the door, Tyrkanzyaka presented the dazed man and exclaimed.
“I think he’s regained his memories!”
“Huh?”
“This morning, he greeted me the moment he woke up. Surely his memories must be returning!”
Tyrkanzyaka’s voice was still thick with excitement. In contrast, Shei’s reaction was lukewarm.
“I don’t know. He still looks pretty out of it to me. Look at that blank face. It’s completely different from his usual self.”
“Is he not better than yesterday? Yesterday, he was only repeating my words now and then, but today, he spoke on his own. He must be remembering his words!”
Seeing Tyrkanzyaka so thrilled, Shei hesitated. The truth would only disappoint her.
But Shei lacked the ability to tell pretty lies. It wasn't in her nature.
“Losing your memory like that isn’t about losing information. Knowledge, language—that kind of information is still in his head. It’s just that the ego, the self that connects to it and draws it out, has disappeared.”
He didn't seem to realize they were talking about him. He just sat blankly in the coffin, listening.
Shei muttered, looking at him.
“See? He’s not reacting at all. He probably doesn’t even know who he is right now.”
“But he is a little different. Watch.”
Tyrkanzyaka trotted over to him. He, who had been sitting vacantly, finally reacted as she approached. Tyrkanzyaka gently tapped his shoulder, then pointed at Shei and whispered.
“There, now. Try to greet Shei.”
He sat there like a child, blank-faced, while Tyrkanzyaka doted on him.
Watching the scene, Shei muttered to herself.
Ah, I think I’m getting cognitive dissonance.
On the surface, they were a grown man and a young girl. Yet the girl was caring for him as if she were his mother.
Worse, the man was the warden of the Military State who, just a few days ago, had been smirking slyly and radiating a suspicious aura. The very man who had put Shei on edge time and again was now sitting with a look of pure innocence, being attended to by Tyrkanzyaka. It was enough to make her head spin.
I understand how Tyrkanzyaka feels. Something must have gone wrong while he was fixing her heart, so she must feel a great sense of responsibility.
But Shei still couldn't let her guard down. This man, who could read everything from his seat and toy with people using simple notes, was the exact type of mastermind she detested.
If he were just a mastermind, that would be one thing. But because he had so easily fixed the Progenitor’s heart, Shei couldn't even begin to guess his true intentions.
He was a being close to chaos, neither a complete villain nor entirely pure.
This isn't really an act, is it? There's no reason for it, but…
Even without a reason, he was the kind of person who would commit an act of madness with a straight face. She wanted to dismiss her suspicions, but they lingered like a stain in the corner of her mind.
As Shei glared at him with sharp eyes, he spoke.
“Gree…ting.”
Understanding Tyrkanzyaka’s words, he gave Shei a timid nod.
“Ah, hello…”
Even this behavior seemed suspicious, a testament to his past conduct. Shei waved her hand dismissively.
“This doesn’t mean anything. You can still greet people even if you’ve lost your memory…”
“…Sis.”
“?!?!”
Goosebumps erupted on Shei’s arms.
A chill ran down her spine.
Along with a sense of physiological revulsion, her mind went blank. Shei shouted frantically.
“W-w-what are you talking about?! You mean ‘bro’!”
Tyrkanzyaka pointed out.
“Shei, shouldn’t he call you ‘brother’?”
“Ah, right, brother, no, I mean, I’m younger—wait! Stop! Everyone freeze!”
When acutely flustered, Shei had one response. She grabbed Chun-aeng, which was floating by her head, and stirred up a wind.
Fwoosh. Compressed air spread in all directions. A complex airflow formed around Shei, and as the wind rushed through the narrow doorway, it created a sound like the howling of a beast.
“What is this all of a sudden?”
Tyrkanzyaka lowered her parasol to block the wind, frowning as she looked behind her. Fortunately, because she had blocked the gust, he hadn't been knocked backward.
Shei fiddled with her beloved sword, Chun-aeng, and regained her composure.
“Hoo. Just needed to cool my head for a second.”
“Cool it twice more and you’ll uproot the entire prison. Be careful. In any case, do you see now? Why I said he was different?”
“Yeah. I guess I see…”
The term ‘sis’ was what a younger woman called an older one. It required the ability to objectively gauge the distance between oneself and another.
In other words, it meant he had some awareness of himself, as well as the ability to recognize others…
“But why ‘sis’ of all things?! That’s the complete opposite!”
That bastard is a man, so why does he perceive himself as a woman?!
Though her words were aimed at him, Tyrkanzyaka misunderstood and cupped her chin, looking Shei up and down.
“Hmm. You are rather pretty. It wouldn’t be strange to mistake you for a woman… For a woman…”
Her words trailed off as her brow furrowed sharply. Tyrkanzyaka glanced back and forth between Shei and the warden several times with a grave expression, then groaned as if worried about something.
Then, she approached him and began to explain softly.
“Do not be confused. Although Shei has a small frame, slender limbs, and a pretty face, he is clearly a man. An indisputable man.”
“A… man?”
“Yes. A man, so you must remember. Not ‘sis,’ and certainly not ‘noona.’ To make such a mistake is the height of rudeness.”
Her tone was less about correcting a misunderstanding and more filled with caution. Seeing Tyrkanzyaka glare at her, Shei felt an indescribable emotion.
It’s just like her attitude yesterday. No, it can’t be. Did he really melt her frozen heart? Has my suspicion actually become reality?
A moment later, Shei realized something strange.
As Tyrkanzyaka said, Shei was currently disguised as a man. This was due to an artifact and worked without her paying much attention to it.
But he had called her ‘sis.’
‘Sis.’ In other words, a term one could only use if they recognized the other person as a woman.
Wait. Did he see through Agartha’s Mask? How?
A new suspicion arose. Could it be that he had seen through Shei’s disguise from the very beginning?
But Shei quickly dismissed the thought.
That’s impossible. Agartha’s Mask is definitely working. Tyrkanzyaka and everyone else still believe I’m a man. And it would be strange for him to reveal it now if he’d seen through it.
Then how?
Shei quickly arrived at a logical hypothesis.
Right. My artifact, Agartha’s Mask, has the ability to determine a first impression. A first impression is a crucial factor that influences all future encounters… but the artifact can only affect the first impression. It doesn’t work on someone you’ve already met.
This meant one thing. He wasn't seeing Shei for the first time, but his first impression of her was gone.
In other words, he had truly lost his memory.
It seems he really has lost his memory. I can let my guard down… No, maybe I can use this as an opportunity to naturally clear up the misunderstanding about me being a man…
She had disguised herself as a man to enter the Abyss, and had maintained it in case of emergencies… but Shei wasn't particularly attached to the disguise. She herself often forgot she was even wearing it.
Rather than maintaining the charade, it might be better to clear up the misunderstanding now and build a more comfortable relationship. Not that she wanted to rip off her clothes to forcibly reveal her gender.
If this could naturally plant the idea that Shei might be a woman…
“A… man.”
“Yes. A man. You remember now?”
As Tyrkanzyaka finished speaking, he nodded emphatically and muttered.
“Somehow, you seemed… ambigayous.”
Somehow. Ambiguous.
Though not formed into words, the phrase that should have filled the space echoed in her ears: it meant it was ambiguous ‘to see her as a woman.’ And not just because of Agartha’s Mask…
A vein throbbed in Shei’s temple. With a terrifying expression, she beckoned to him.
“Hey. You, get over here for a second. You remember, don’t you!”
The instinct for self-preservation kicked in before his ego. Terrified, he hid behind Tyrkanzyaka. With a benevolent smile, Tyrkanzyaka soothed him before turning to scold Shei.
“Shei. Don’t frighten him so. Can’t you see he’s scared?”
“What, isn’t that suspicious? Look at the way he’s talking! He’s starting to get under my skin!”
“It is a fact that you are ambiguous. For a man, your features are delicate. Even I have been confused at times.”
“And that’s all it is, confusion?!”
Wait a minute. A moment ago, that bastard… didn’t he say something other than ‘ambiguous’?!
As Shei glared, Tyrkanzyaka moved even closer to shield him. The parasol she held obscured his face.
“It might have been different before, but now, having lost his memory trying to help me, he is no different from a child who knows nothing. How can you think of blaming him?”
“The fact that he’s confused about my gender is suspicious enough, but it makes no sense for him to perceive himself as a woman in the first place! There’s no reason for it! Hey! You, tell me the truth. You haven’t lost your memory, have you?! You’re just laughing on the inside, aren’t you?!”
“Now you resort to slander? For a man to be so petty. You go too far. Don’t you agree?”
Because Tyrkanzyaka defended the warden to the end, Shei could only fume, unable to do anything. However, her glare was so fierce that he, left with only his instincts, grew frightened and hid behind Tyrkanzyaka’s back.
And Tyrkanzyaka secretly enjoyed this fact. It was one of the reasons she didn't reprimand Shei more harshly.
Feeling a hand clutch her collar, Tyrkanzyaka soothed him again.
“Do not worry. Did I not say I would take responsibility for you?”
“Th-thank you. Um…”
When his voice trailed off, Tyrkanzyaka added gently.
“I told you earlier, did I not? Call me Tyr.”
“Yes, Tyr.”
“Good, you’re a good boy.”
Shei’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
I wasn’t even planning on attacking him! Stop making me out to be the villain!
It was getting more and more ridiculous.
Suspicion bubbled up, even when she tried to suppress it. If he was pretending to have lost his ego, that was one astounding thing, but even if he had truly lost it, it was still incredible. How could a person remain so suspicious even after losing their memory?
As she ground her teeth, a good idea suddenly occurred to Shei.
“Wait. Why didn’t I think of this?”
If he had truly lost his memory, he would answer any question honestly.
If he was pretending, he would falter when asked a difficult question.
In the former case, I can find out his secrets. In the latter, I can see through his act. This is my chance!
Either way, she had nothing to lose. Shei said excitedly.
“Tyrkanzyaka. Now’s our chance. This is our chance to get information out of him!”
Of course, Tyr wouldn't agree right away. But Shei was confident she could persuade her.
As expected, Tyr’s immediate reaction was negative.
“Information? You mean to interrogate someone who has lost their memory? What more are you trying to dig up? Absolutely not…”
“His name, his rank, or the reason he came here, or his abilities! If not now, we’ll never have another chance to find out!”
But, if she could pique her curiosity. Shei smiled triumphantly and made a subtle suggestion.
“How about it?”
Tyr, who had been about to vehemently object, stopped mid-sentence.
“His name, you say. His name.”
Muttering to herself, Tyr glanced at him with a face that was half curiosity, half guilt. Then, she closed her eyes slightly and took a step back, showing her reluctant agreement to Shei.
“…To look after him from now on, I suppose I need to know the bare minimum. Like his name. Ahem.”
The wall that had been protecting him was gone. He stared at Tyr, but she simply averted her gaze.