Chapter 56: If You Get On My Nerves
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 56: If You Get On My Nerves
The skewer pried its way into the seam of the bracelet. The gap in the simply forged alchemic bracelet widened, and the gray bead hanging in the middle popped off. I picked it up between two fingers and examined it closely.
I was certain. Judging by its structure, it was unmistakably a Clothing Packet. The only difference was that, unlike a normal one, this type operated on its own without a bio-receptor.
Among the compressed packets, the very essence of alchemy, are a few types that can function without being inserted into a bio-receptor.
Papyrus packets containing high-value promissory notes or confidential documents.
Weapon packets that produce simply structured arms like spears, swords, or shields.
Items with simple structures that don't require the user's biometric data are often sold with a device like this to infuse them with mana.
And this one was a parachute packet. An item used to slow one’s descent. Considering this was the Abyss, it wasn't strange at all that someone would fall in wearing a parachute packet, but…
“Still, something feels off. Hmm.”
After imbuing the tip of the skewer with mana, I scraped at a groove in the parachute packet. A part of the packet opened, revealing an empty space inside. After shining a light inside, I turned the parachute packet upside down and shook it.
Tuk, tuk. A small, scattering sound. I set the packet down for a moment and looked at what had fallen out.
“Soil?”
It was just a few grains of soil, an amount so small you could count each one.
On the surface, a single shovelful would yield tens of thousands of times this amount.
But here, in this place cursed by Mother Earth, even these few grains of soil were foreign. In a structure built entirely of concrete, ordinary soil was a rare find.
“So that’s what it was?”
I rubbed the soil between two fingers. The finely crumbled grains scattered across the desk.
Now that the unwelcome guest named Finlay had settled in, things were not going the way I wanted.
I had intimidated Finlay enough that, just as I intended, he had come to fear me, Azzy, and the Regressor.
However, the attitude he adopted from that point on was quite different from what I had expected.
“Ah, Mr. Finlay. There you are. I have something for you to do, come over here.”
“I have no time for that.”
“Excuse me?”
“The Progenitor will be waking soon, and I must be the first to greet Her before She takes the morning air. It is both my duty and my honor to attend to the Blood Lord the moment She awakens.”
Is he kidding me? He’s going to camp out there all morning? Is he just making excuses because he doesn’t want to work?
But after reading his thoughts, I realized it wasn't an excuse. The priority of serving the Progenitor was so high in his mind that nothing else even registered.
And on top of that…
I am now the Progenitor’s direct attendant. I am far too busy assisting Her to do other things. Imagine, the Progenitor’s attendant doing menial chores. How that would tarnish Her dignity! I would rather die than allow that to happen.
To an outside observer, it would look like he was just slacking off, but surprisingly, this was his ‘sincere’ belief. In other words, Finlay genuinely believed that the very act of doing chores would diminish his own dignity, and by extension, the Progenitor’s!
Hah, how absurd. If I had the power, I would have cut off his arm first and then chewed him out. It’s a pity I lack the strength to do so right now.
“Well, who’s going to do the work, then? The cooking? The cleaning?”
“That is for you to figure out. We nobles of the night, granted life by the Progenitor’s great power, do not defecate, nor do we dirty the ground. We require neither food nor light. We demand only blood.”
“What does you not taking a shit have to do with you not working? By that logic, you shouldn’t drink blood either. It’s not like you gave birth to those humans and raised them yourself.”
“Instead, we pay a fitting price. We possess the power and wealth to do so.”
It’s not like you have that wealth or power right now. What gives you the right to be so arrogant? As I stood there dumbfounded, Finlay added one more smug remark.
“Do you understand, commoner?”
“You. How would you like a taste of a punch from the Military State, which abolished the class system?”
Finlay flinched and recoiled as I made a fist and threatened him.
“Kh, kgh. I am the Progenitor’s attendant. I cannot yield to external pressure!”
“You act like you’re part of the establishment, but you talk like a freedom fighter. What is this? The living embodiment of hypocrisy is right here. Are you kidding me? Should I separate your insides from your outsides so you’re not so two-faced anymore?”
If I asked Azzy, she’d do a fine job of separating his bones, flesh, and blood. He’d come to his senses after a taste of the living centrifuge, the doggy death roll. I was in the middle of making my threats.
Just then, the door to the underground armory opened, and the vampire appeared, perched atop her coffin. The moment he saw her, Finlay’s face lit up as if he’d seen his savior.
“O, Progenitor! You have awakened!”
“I have. That will be enough.”
Finlay immediately dropped to one knee to greet the vampire. At the vampire’s leisurely gesture, Finlay rose and stood before her coffin like a herald, then began to shout at me.
“Make way! The Progenitor comes!”
“What the hell is this.”
As the large coffin approached, I had no choice but to step aside. The triumphant Finlay, now serving the Progenitor, and the vampire, sitting on her coffin with a faint smile, passed in front of me.
As she passed by, the vampire murmured.
“Huhu. You must understand. He seems quite excited to be serving me.”
And yet, the vampire saying this was clearly enjoying my predicament.
I was so dumbfounded my jaw hung open. While I stood there blankly, Finlay, overcome with emotion, shouted loudly.
“O, Progenitor! Where shall you go?”
“To the fourth floor. I shall show you the place I frequent.”
“As you command!”
And so, the Blood Lord and her retainer moved on, slowly and as they pleased.
Even after that, Finlay kept getting in the way, like a stone on the path.
“Ah, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka.”
“Ahem! How dare you attach such a condescending title as ‘Trainee’ to the Progenitor’s name!”
“Huh?”
“That is enough, Finlay. I am one who lacks knowledge of this era. I require his knowledge, so the term ‘Trainee’ is not incorrect.”
Finlay immediately fell silent and prostrated himself before the vampire.
“Forgive me! The Progenitor’s will is so profound that my shallow blood could not possibly fathom it!”
“Enough. I will speak with the warden for a moment.”
“I obey the Progenitor’s will!”
As Finlay withdrew, still prostrated, the vampire elegantly opened her parasol and spoke.
“Yes. What were you about to say?”
“What do you mean? Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, you were the one who called for me, weren’t you?”
“Ah, yes. So I was.”
The vampire snapped her fingers. In that instant, Finlay collapsed, still in his prostrated position. Having stolen Finlay’s consciousness in a single moment, the vampire slowly approached.
“It would be a bother if Finlay saw, so I put him to sleep for a moment. He won’t even know he was asleep.”
The Progenitor’s Bloodcraft was on a level where she could perfectly control even the blood of other vampires. She could sever and reconnect one’s consciousness in an instant.
Having silenced Finlay, the vampire glanced around before parting her chest with a finger. Then she subtly leaned her body toward me and whispered.
“It has been a while. Come now.”
“Seriously. Even in this situation, you only think of yourself…”
“I cannot let him see me in this state, can I?”
Something… something about this didn’t sit right with me, but I had no particular reason to refuse. Feeling reluctant, I brought my fingers to her heart.
*
“Warden! The Progenitor asks where today’s discussion will take place!”
“Huh? I wasn’t planning on having one today.”
“Ahem! For one who calls himself a warden to display such laziness! If you are a servant of the state, you must fulfill your duties!”
“…”
“A-hem! I shall return to attend the Progenitor!”
Leaving my glare behind him, Finlay strode away.
This wasn’t just a problem for me. Just then, the Regressor was walking by and, seeing Finlay, called out to him.
“You there, vampire. Freeze. Where is Tyrkanzyaka?”
“Ahem! How dare you speak the Progenitor’s name so casually? A whelp like you cannot hold a candle to the Progenitor in status, age, or ability! You should know to use the utmost honorifics!”
The Regressor, suddenly rebuked, seemed taken aback for a moment, her lips parting and closing. Then her expression hardened as she retorted.
“…Fine. Then I’ll ask you. It’s about my previous question. How did you get into the Abyss?”
“Ahem! Insolent whelp! Do you not understand even when I put it so plainly? Solve such trivial mysteries yourself! I am busy attending to the Progenitor!”
With that, Finlay turned on his heel and walked away. The Regressor watched his retreating back for a moment before raising a hand to grasp Chun-aeng.
“…I’m going to slice him to pieces. Don’t stop me.”
“If you’re going to slice him, please dice him and then slice him on the bias. Make sure the biggest piece is smaller than the drain filter. Otherwise, it’ll be hard to throw him in the slop bucket.”
Of course, we couldn’t attack Finlay while he was under the vampire’s protection. The Regressor had been refraining from antagonizing the vampire since their last exchange, and I was weaker than Finlay.
In the end, the Regressor and I could only watch as Finlay walked away.
*
“Eat up. Don’t make a mess.”
“Woof!”
Azzy was happily eating her meal. The dog, who became endlessly gentle before a food bowl, suddenly bared her teeth and growled.
Normally, her aggressive posture would have scared me, but I was used to it by now. The only time Azzy’s mood soured so suddenly was when Finlay was approaching.
“Ahem! Ahem!”
And right on cue, I heard his thoughts from across the way.
The cloying scent of blood arrived first. Soon after, Finlay entered with a solemn expression, clicking his tongue as he looked around.
“Tsk. There is a shortage of commoners to provide blood here. We must offer blood to the Progenitor. Now, is there anyone willing to offer theirs?”
He was saying it for my benefit. That lunatic had come looking for me, a human with a relatively relaxed demeanor, to procure a snack for the vampire.
His assumption that I would naturally comply if he demanded it was infuriating. Should I teach him a lesson?
I stroked the head of the growling Azzy and whispered in her ear.
“Azzy. Want to bite him?”
“Grrrrrr.”
“W-wait! Stop! I have come to make a legitimate transaction!”
Sensing danger, Finlay urgently held out his hands. I decided to at least hear him out and stopped Azzy, who was about to lunge forward.
“Wait, Azzy. Even a vampire like that deserves some last words for his tombstone.”
“I told you, I’m here to make a deal! This is for the Progenitor!”
“This might be your eulogy, so choose your words carefully. What is it now?”
“It is about blood. I demand that you commoners offer your blood to the Progenitor.”
“For free?”
“Of course not.”
Finlay stroked his mustache and spoke arrogantly.
“In the Duchy of Mist, where commoners and the nobles of the night coexist, a price is paid for the blood offered by commoners. Usually, it is food equivalent to ten times the weight of the blood.”
“Azzy. Aren’t you curious how much meat we could get if we cooked that body?”
“W-wait! However! Since blood is precious at the moment, I will pay in silver coins equivalent to ten times the weight of the blood!”
Ten times the weight in silver? That was worth considering. My attitude changed in an instant.
If things aren’t working out, just prepare more money. Isn’t that what economies of scale are all about?
“Hello, valued customer. Welcome to the Bank of Blood. How will you be making your payment?”
“I will write you a promissory note. You may redeem it in the Duchy of Mist once you get out.”
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“Are you deaf? I said I will write you a promissory note.”
What is he talking about? A promissory note? When even hard currency would barely be enough?
No, more importantly…
“How is a human supposed to travel to the land of vampires with a single promissory note, visit a bank there, and collect the money?”
“That is none of my concern. Why should a noble care about the affairs of a commoner? Collecting the money is your job.”
The vampire said it with complete sincerity. In other words, he just wanted to write me a bad check, didn't he?
After mulling over his words for a moment, I gave Azzy an order.
“Azzy. Chase him outside. But don’t kill him.”
“Woof woof!”
“Aaaargh! Dog King! Stop! I am the Progenitor’s—Gak!”
As Finlay fled in a hurry, Azzy barked furiously and chased him out of the building. I grilled another piece of meat for Azzy, who returned with a proud look on her face.
But this didn't solve the fundamental problem.