Chapter 538: It's Just a Feeling
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 538: It's Just a Feeling
San'gun left with a full stomach. That would have been fine if it hadn't been my food, but thanks to him, I was now stuck with a delivery job I never signed up for. Food for a bedridden Regressor and a gluttonous dog. I struggled back to the mansion, carrying the meal for the two of them on a rack.
As I entered the yard, Azzy came running out barefoot.
“Woof! Food! Food!”
“Are you only happy to see the food, not me?”
“You brought food. I’m happy to see you!”
“Thanks for saying that, even if you don't mean it.”
With Azzy trotting alongside me, tongue out and spinning in circles, I headed into the mansion. Normally, I would have just tossed Azzy a piece of meat and eaten at the table, but I had to play nurse to a Regressor who couldn't even get up on her own.
I grabbed some simple dinnerware and headed for the master bedroom where the Regressor was lying.
“Are you going to eat or not? Just so you know, if you skip this meal, you’ll have to wait for the next one. Azzy won’t leave any leftovers.”
“…I’ll eat.”
What’s this? Willingly eating this commoner’s food? Well, it’s not like the Regressor insists on a Bountiful Table because she’s a picky eater, but because it’s convenient and safe. Still, I’ve never seen her this compliant before.
While I tossed Azzy a chunk of meat and started unpacking the food, the Regressor stared at me, lost in thought.
‘…Hughes likes me?’
Huh? What? What is this new and sudden bullshit? Dumbfounded, I had to stop myself from shooting her a look of contempt. All she’d done was think, but if I couldn’t control my expression and made eye contact with her, she’d find out about my mind-reading.
‘Of course, he probably doesn’t like me in that way… I never got that impression. He’s been helpful, but that was always a matter of mutual use, or because I pushed him into it.’
Ha? That way or any other way, how about you start by questioning the very premise that I would ever like you? And the only reason I’m cooperative is because you’re a Regressor, you know? I can’t afford to get on the bad side of a broken character who can turn back time itself if things go wrong. If you can’t beat them, join them.
‘…But still. Tyrkanzyaka was friendly to me in the last timeline, but this time, she was hostile. Had she changed that much with the apocalypse looming? Or… did she pin her hopes on my regression?’
So she told the last timeline’s Tyr about her regression. Makes sense. Even for someone like Tyrkanzyaka, if she was facing the end and was offered the hope of regression, she’d want to bet on it.
‘In comparison, Hughes is cooperative even without knowing I’m a Regressor. Well, though it seems like he’s tried to ditch me from time to time.’
I know! I know, damn it! That’s why I’m cooperative! And that’s also why I try to ditch you!
‘Right. It’s ridiculous. Azzy must have been mistaken. In the first place, I’m not gentle like she said.’
At least her self-assessment is objective. That’s a relief. If she actually believed she was a gentle person, she’d be a lost cause.
Wait a minute. Azzy, what the hell did you say while I was gone? What? That I like her because she’s gentle?
This is why you can’t trust animals. They only judge the presence of goodwill, not the intentions behind it. You could be fattening them up to make them into dog soup, and they’d just be happy you’re giving them lots of food.
The only reason I’m taking care of the Regressor’s meals right now is because she’s my only link to the Sanctum. I’m helping her so I can use her.
I ladled the soup into a bowl—a thick stew made with a meat broth seasoned with salt and spices, filled with onions, carrots, and cabbage. It was a simple dish, but the fact that it had survived for thousands of years in the world of cuisine proved its worth. I placed the soup, a single bowl that offered both nutrition and satiety, in front of the Regressor.
“Ugh. Thanks… Agh!”
The Regressor tried to sit up, but grimaced and collapsed back down. Even after drinking precious elixirs like water and receiving Azzy’s healing, the internal injuries from San'gun’s attack still lingered.
Even Azzy, who had been burying her face in her bowl, approached with a worried look.
“Woof? Does it hurt?”
“Ugh, I feel like I’ll be better in just a little while…”
“Eat! You have to eat to get better!”
“I want to, but…”
Looks like San'gun gave her a thorough lesson in manners. I’ve never seen the Regressor this weak. They say being sick makes your mind wander, and true enough, her head was filled with more useless thoughts than usual today.
No, wait. Let’s think about this differently.
Whatever the reason, it’s better for me to be on the Regressor’s good side. As long as I can’t read memories from before her regressions, I have no way of actively learning anything unless she reveals the truth herself.
And right now, the Regressor is considerably more open to me. Goodwill is like a commodity; you have to stock up when it’s on sale. Especially with a Regressor this difficult and suspicious, I might not get another chance to properly connect with her.
I used the spoon to break up the meat, added some vegetables, and scooped it all up in one spoonful. Then, carefully steadying it with my other hand, I held it out.
“Here, Shei-ssi.”
“Huh?”
“Say ‘ah.’”
“Ah…?”
I moved the spoon toward her open mouth. The Regressor, without understanding why, was about to accept the food when she flinched in surprise and snapped her mouth shut.
“Wh-wh-what are you doing?”
“What does it look like? I’m personally nursing Shei-ssi, who can’t even move her hands or feet.”
“Why are you suddenly playing nurse? It doesn’t suit you at all!”
“It’s not a big deal. It’s normal to help someone who’s sick and injured. Even a dog will share its food if its friend is ailing.”
“W-woof?”
Startled, Azzy looked back and forth between her meat and the Regressor. Looking like a guilty puppy, Azzy cautiously approached, squeezed her eyes shut as if in great pain, and pushed her bowl of meat toward the Regressor. The way she was trembling, you’d think she was giving up one of her own limbs.
“No! Azzy, it’s okay.”
“Woof? It’s okay? Then I won’t be shy!”
You should learn some shyness. How can you start scarfing it down right in front of her after she refused?
“Anyway, look. You have to eat to regain your strength. That’s just basic common sense.”
“That may be true, but…”
‘They say you’ll die if you do something out of character… What is this? Why is he suddenly being so kind?’
“Agh. Stop muttering. When someone shows you kindness, just accept it gratefully. It’s not like I’m going to do this for you once you’re better.”
“Mmph!”
I forced the spoon into her mouth. The Regressor seemed startled for a moment, but she eventually gave up and ate the food. She frowned, as if even chewing was a bit painful, but she wasn’t so injured that she couldn’t swallow. She just mumbled with a sullen expression.
“Keep chewing. You’re going to finish this whole bowl.”
“Mumble, gulp… No, you don’t have to. Mmph.”
“The fact that you’re talking tells me your mouth is empty.”
I diligently fed her one spoonful at a time, and before I knew it, the bowl was nearly empty.
“No, really, I’m full. Stop.”
“That’s just an illusion. It’s a false sense of fullness trying to trick you. Here.”
“Aghmph…”
‘This is so strange. He’s not this kind of person… is he? Or have I been looking at Hughes in too negative a light?’
Finally, her thoughts have arrived at that point.
‘Hughes is aggressive. To be precise, he’s barbaric. But he’s never actually committed any noticeable evil acts. Not in the Military State, the Fallen Dominion, or Ende. Far from being tainted by sin, he’s even helped people. He may be barbaric, but he’s not evil. As if barbarism itself isn’t necessarily evil.’
Looks like the plan is a success. Humans are animals, after all. When they’re hungry and sick, they’re bound to feel grateful to anyone who helps them. This makes taking care of her worthwhile.
‘…Could it be? Does Hughes really like me?’
Ah, shit. What a way to ruin the mood. Should I just dump the bowl on her?
‘My goal is to defeat the King of Sins and stop the apocalypse. Since Hughes is the King of Humans, maybe he wants to help me save humanity.’
Then think that way from the start! Don’t make things confusing even for me, the guy with mind-reading!
It wasn’t that the Regressor’s actions were faster than her thoughts. The woman had no transitions. Her thoughts and actions would realign based on whatever sudden idea flashed through her mind. A thought process truly worthy of a beast.
She’s practically my natural enemy. Right. It’s better to be on the same side as your natural enemy than to fight them. Patience, patience.
“I’m done.”
“How many days do you think it’ll take for you to recover?”
“I should be able to move in about three days. The rest will heal slowly over time.”
“Three days, with those injuries? Are you even human?”
“What are you talking about? I’m more human than the guy who came back to life after being torn apart by San'gun.”
She has a point. Now that I’ve realized the true nature of a Divine, my own life thread has become tougher than the Regressor’s. Ah, I guess I can’t whine about being weak and play it safe anymore.
“By the way, is it okay for the King of Humans to become a vampire?”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Vampires are human, too.”
“But you’ve always refused the offer to become an Elder until now, haven’t you?”
“Because if I became an Elder, my thoughts and will would fall under Tyr’s control. Neither she nor I wanted that. What Tyr truly wanted was for me not to die or get hurt in vain, not to turn me into her puppet.”
“You make it sound as if you’re different from a vampire now.”
“I am different. Because this isn’t a vampire, it’s a Divine.”
“A Divine…?”
“Yes. Ah, did I not mention it? Tyr eventually reached the level of a Divine, too. Not that it makes much of a difference from how she is now.”
The Regressor’s eyes, as she lay there, went wide.
“Why are you only telling me something so important now!”
“Oh? Did I not tell you?”
“You didn’t! This is the first I’m hearing of it!”
“Well, it’s a good thing I told you now, then. Anyway, just know that. I mean, even if she became a Divine, vampires already exist, right? It might not cause any major changes in the world.”
“How could that be?! Absolutely not!”
“Huh?”
‘What will happen if Tyrkanzyaka becomes a Divine? The good thing is that, like Nevida, she’s still alive, so her Divine power won’t be unleashed without a will to guide it… but there’s one problem. Both of them utterly despise the Sanctum.’
A living Divine is less of a threat than a dead one. The reason is simple. Not because the Divine is weak, but because they are still bound to life.
A Divine who is already dead and remains only as a tool can unleash all sorts of power according to the user’s will. Even in death, a being who has reached the level of a Divine is engraved upon the world, so their power never wanes. In contrast, a Divine who is still alive will hesitate to use their immense power, because their Unique Magic, which can sway the world itself, could sweep up themselves and everyone around them.
Just as the Golden Lord did, and the Grand Master. The only thing more unrestrained than someone prepared for death is someone who is already dead.
But what if the two Divines decide to destroy the Sanctum, even at the cost of their own lives? With a clear will and intense fury, even the Sanctum would not escape unscathed.
‘Even if they had the chance to destroy the Sanctum, those two would refuse at first. They’d have to thoroughly desecrate and defile the Saintess and the Sky God first. And if they’ve become Divines… they have the power to do it. Of all things, it had to be the Tree of Genesis and Bloodcraft.’
Hearing that, their Divine powers do seem quite related. Are they going to form an alliance or something? Well, it’s not like an alliance between them would be a bad thing for me.
‘Ugh. This will affect what happens later… What should I do? If the Great Descent occurs, the Empire and the Sanctum will form a complete battlefront… A war will break out immediately.’
Great Descent? Battlefront? Sigh. There she goes again, thinking things only she understands.
I decided to stop trying to read and analyze the Regressor’s thoughts. It’s pointless to struggle to read and piece them together when she’ll just come up with some other idea in a few days and render it all meaningless. I’ll just feed her, apply her medicine, and build up some goodwill. That’s the fastest way.
While reading the anxious Regressor’s thoughts, I took out my own portion of food. Now that I’ve fed her, it’s time for me to fill my own stomach.
I shoveled spoonful after spoonful into my mouth, filling my hungry stomach. The warm broth seeped into my body, bringing a feeling of utter contentment. Even with an undying body, it seems I still feel hunger.
A Divine is one who engraves their Unique Magic onto the world. Through Tyr’s will, I am now engraved upon the world as ‘Hughes.’ I don’t think I’d die from starvation… but hmm. No need to test that theory. It would just be hungry and painful.
They say even a ghost looks better if it died on a full stomach. So, I’ll eat. I was scraping the bottom of my bowl with my spoon when it happened.
“Hey! You, what are you doing?!”
The Regressor suddenly shouted. I nearly dropped my spoon. Wiping my mouth, I said.
“Agh, you scared me. What’s with the sudden yelling? Even dogs are left alone when they’re eating!”
“Woof? I’m a dog, and people bother me.”
“Really? So they made an idiom and don’t even follow it? It just goes to show how little integrity humans have. On behalf of all humanity, I apologize.”
“Woof! It’s okay! You can bother me all you want, just give me food!”
While I was reaching this dramatic compromise with the dog, the neglected Regressor shrieked.
“Not that…! That’s the spoon I was using!”
“What about it? It’s natural to use a spoon when you eat.”
“Use a different one! There are plenty of spoons! Why are you putting the one I used right into your mouth?!”
“Ah, so that was the problem? Jeez. Making a fuss over a spoon.”
She’s seen so many disgusting things, yet she’s arguing about hygiene over a single spoon. I can never figure this woman out. She seems to have been through hell and back, but she has no resistance when it comes to the weirdest things.
“If you’re going to complain about a little saliva, then is Azzy, who drools all over the place, a walking plague? You’re being picky about the strangest things.”
“It feels gross to use something someone else just used!”
“You have no reason to feel gross. The spoon was clean when it went into your mouth. If anyone should feel disgusted, it should be me, so why are you making a scene? And it’s weird to make such a big deal about a little saliva. What’s going to happen to my body? Gasp! Someone else’s bodily fluids entered my body! I might get pregnant!”
At that, the Regressor’s face turned bright red as she shouted.
“P-preg…? You’re insane!”
“Hey, it was sarcasm. What’s with that reaction? It was a joke, and besides, I’m a man. I can’t get pregnant.”
“There’s a limit to jokes!”
“It just shows how over-the-top your reaction is. A normal animal wouldn’t even care. Look. Here, Azzy.”
To demonstrate, I scooped up some meat and held it out to Azzy. Azzy, who had already emptied her bowl and was licking her chops, chomped down on the spoon. She didn’t care who had used it.
Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp.
Her long tongue covered the spoon again and again. As if determined not to leave a single drop of broth behind, Azzy meticulously chewed, sucked, tasted, and savored the spoon.
…You should at least care about who’s going to use the spoon next. This is too much. The spoon is soaked. I stared down at the spoon, now pooled with Azzy’s saliva.
The Regressor noticed my anguish and sneered.
“Hmph. I thought you said you didn’t care about a little saliva? Why don’t you take a bite?”
“…I think you were right, Shei-ssi. This is a level of repulsion that makes me worry about getting pregnant if I eat it.”
“Why do you have to use that as a metaphor?! There are other things you could say!”
“I’ll go get another spoon.”
Tch. To think the day would come when I’d admit the Regressor was right. But don’t think this is over.
I’ll save this spoon and use it to feed you tomorrow. Let’s see if you can tell which spoon has saliva on it.
And the next day. It was only after I had fed the Regressor and finished my own meal that I remembered I had saved the saliva-covered spoon from yesterday. And the fact that I had brought it with me.
I was never able to figure out which spoon was the dirty one, but that only made one thing clearer.
It really was just a matter of feeling. With a 50% chance of feeling disgusted, I shared this precious emotion with the Regressor.