Chapter 49: You Can't Be Happy
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 49: You Can't Be Happy
“Well said. Let me take this opportunity to say something myself. You asked me to teach you. And swept up in the moment, I took you as my disciple and have been teaching you, but…”
A cold fire did exist. Otherwise, the vampire's crimson eyes could not have been so chilling. Taking a step closer to my side, the vampire scolded the Regressor.
“You show me no respect whatsoever.”
“Re-spect?”
“Or reverence, a symbol, a token, a sentiment. Anything of the sort.”
The jet-black parasol came to rest lightly on her shoulder. The vampire sighed softly and glared at the Regressor.
“Even a small gift would have been fine. A simple 'thank you,' or even just words of gratitude would have been enough. And yet, Shei, you have given me nothing.”
“That’s…”
“In contrast.”
This time, her gaze turned to me. I quickly raised a hand and waved, and the vampire offered a faint smile. She was playing along for the Regressor’s benefit.
A clear difference in temperature. Even if it was a feigned expression, it was enough to shock the Regressor.
“This one, insolent as he is, at least revered me with his words. He was rude, but he gave me what I needed. When I asked, he told me stories, and when I wished it, he shared his knowledge. But you? What have you done for me?”
She learned Bloodcraft. That’s all.
From the Regressor's perspective, the vampire was a harbinger of the apocalypse. Whenever the world was ending, the vampire was always cited as a reason.
However, in a previous timeline, the Regressor had, through great effort, managed to free the vampire from her shackles and make her an ally. The two had been comrades-in-arms who fought shoulder to shoulder, as well as trusted allies. As they were both castaways in the river of time, they formed a bond of empathy and quickly grew close.
That was why the Regressor had come down here—to learn Bloodcraft and, while she was at it, to ‘protect’ Tyrkanzyaka. For her sake.
But.
“As for, payment… well, treasure or something…”
“Treasure? Just because my gold has become useless, do I look as though I'm demanding treasure from you now?”
The vampire of this moment was not the fragment of the apocalypse she knew, but truly existed as the Progenitor, Tyrkanzyaka.
“I, too, was once a ruler of this world. I adorned my head with all manner of precious things, draped my body in beauty, and laid softness beneath my feet. I was a being of darkness, yet I possessed all things that glittered—save for the sun. Would such a person as I covet power? Would I lust for riches? Or would I seek some paltry honor? A little sincerity would have been enough.”
In truth, the vampire didn't dislike the Regressor that much. It was merely a complaint tinged with disappointment.
But the Regressor, who had only ever built relationships through regression, had little experience with such situations and didn't know what to do.
“T-Tyr…”
“Enough. The only thing you wanted from me was Bloodcraft anyway. If you've taken what you wanted, then just leave.”
At the vampire’s cold declaration, the Regressor trembled before lowering her head. The vampire rested the parasol on her shoulder and spun around. The jet-black parasol created a divide between the vampire and the Regressor.
As if driving the final nail in the coffin, the vampire turned to me and spoke gently.
“Let us go.”
“Just a moment. I have one thing to say to Trainee Shei.”
“Be brief.”
At my words, the Regressor slowly raised her head. Doubt swirled in her eyes.
‘What is he going to say now?’
I gave a small cough, then shot her a vile smile. I stood with my legs apart, tilted my chin up, and laughed cheaply like a third-rate villain.
“Well, that’s how it is. Keheheheh. Don’t you worry, Trainee Shei. I will take the utmost care of your master.”
‘…Is he making fun of me right now?’
You’re only realizing that now? You’re impossibly dense. That’s why you get scolded even by someone as easy to handle as the vampire.
Ah, while I’m at it.
I pulled the Ace of Diamonds card from my pocket. A strange, inexplicable light glinted from the red, diamond-shaped pattern.
The Regressor realized what that color was and cried out.
“You, that’s…! Original Blood!”
“Kyahahaha! Do you see now? I asked for just one drop, and she gave it to me right away. Your master has already given me her heart, her blood, everything! You're finished…!”
“You little brat.”
A crimson fist suddenly grazed the back of my head. As I groaned in pain, the vampire scowled and chided me.
“You need to learn to shut your mouth. How can you trivialize my anger like this?”
“Why? I have my own grudges, so I was just messing with her.”
“When an adult is angry, you should stay quiet. When an underling adds their two cents, it diminishes the original meaning.”
“Oh? What’s this? You seriously want me to treat you your age? Should I?”
‘Until now… he wasn’t being serious? He can do more than this?’
Terrified by my words, the vampire quickly shook her head.
“…No, never mind. It is your freedom to do as you wish, how could I fault you? Do as you please.”
Having brought the vampire to heel in an instant, I smirked and mocked the Regressor to my heart’s content. See? I can make a vampire back down with a single word. You can't, can you?
“See that? I’m leaving now. And sorry, but from now on, I'd appreciate it if you didn't 'bother' me with the affairs of an 'unrelated' 'stranger.' Stop being so 'clingy'... Khek-kik-kak-kyakyakyakya!”
‘That bastard…! Just you wait! I’ll rip that mask off and expose every last inch of his hideous face!’
Leaving the furiously seething Regressor behind, I walked away with the vampire. I thought about provoking her a little more and went to put my arm around the vampire’s shoulders, but as my hand drew near, the vampire’s parasol billowed out like smoke, firmly catching me and pushing me away. The touch was polite but so powerful I couldn’t get any closer.
How is a parasol stronger than me? And why is it moving on its own? Am I so weak I can't even beat a parasol?
Meanwhile, the vampire walked slowly, lost in deep thought.
‘Shei. She is a talented child, but something is amiss. It has nothing to do with her strength or talent, but some part of what makes her who she is… is lacking. But what is it? I cannot quite put my finger on it.’
We’ve decided to call that ‘social skills.’ The Regressor, who would destroy the world and flee to the next timeline whenever things went wrong, was apparently lacking enough for even a vampire to worry about her.
To have no one in the world to point it out… Tsk, tsk, tsk. A bloodsucking vampire worrying about someone's personality. How ridiculous.
‘How did I end up taking that child as my disciple? It is commendable how she trains so diligently even when no one is watching, but that is merely my observation as her master. She is not a naturally affectionate child. Normally, I would not have given such a child a second glance… Why did I?’
Following her thoughts, the vampire’s gaze gradually shifted to me. A pure white question filled her red eyes.
‘It was this one, back then as well. This one provoked me, leading me to take Shei as my disciple. And whenever something happens, it is always this one who muddies the waters and creates these situations… Could it be?’
Proactive thinking is good, but settling up comes first. Even the most beautiful sights are best seen on a full stomach, but you have to pay for the meal beforehand. I held my hand out to the vampire.
“So, about that artwork?”
At my question, the vampire snapped out of her reverie. She lifted her parasol slightly and gestured.
“…Ah, yes. That’s right. I promised to give you a sculpture.”
At that, the vampire’s coffin stopped in front of me and the lid creaked open. One by one, sculptures emerged from the still-roiling darkness within. A jet-black current carefully grasped the statues and arranged them before me.
A totem carved from jade, a statue of a person sculpted from marble with delicately rendered folds in the clothing, a bronze statue of a warrior on a horse rearing its front legs.
Each one was a sculpture of immense value.
“These are the sculptures I possess. I wasn't sure what you would like, so I just picked out a few to bring…”
The vampire spoke cautiously, but there was a hint of pride in her voice, as if this was a collection she cherished. Her claim of just picking a few wasn't an exaggeration; the materials themselves looked precious, and each sculpture was exquisitely and intricately detailed.
This was a jackpot. The vampire’s coffin was truly a treasure chest—no, a treasure vault!
This was an age where the tombs of even the most renowned emperors were picked clean by treasure hunters. In the midst of that, these sculptures, having crossed a thousand years with the vampire, held an astronomical value.
The technique was classical but not dated. And there wasn't a single scratch on them. It seemed they had been influenced by the vampire's aura, retaining the exact appearance they had when they were created.
If their historical value was recognized, this was an El Dorado that could make me fabulously wealthy.
“Wow…!”
However.
This required some thought.
When dealing with a sucker, you can't just take all their money at once. If you do, the sucker will just leave the table with empty pockets and a bad memory.
The basics of fishing are to set the hook. You chum the waters, gently coax them, let the line go slack a little, and then, the moment they take the bait, you reel them in.
A true gambler knows when to let the line go slack for a bigger prize.
The vampire, who had even gifted me a drop of her Original Blood, was giving me her precious art because she felt indebted to me. I had told her interesting stories and was giving her heart massages. In contrast, the crown she gave me before was fake gold, and she was mired in an inferiority complex, believing her knowledge and possessions were hopelessly outdated.
Telling the truth and taking them right now was one option, but…
I let my expression fall and dropped the sculpture from my hand.
“These are heretical idols…”
“What? Heretical?”
“Things from local faiths… Druidism, Totemism, Beast King worship, and so on. Remnants of that era. All of these are treated as heretical idols and are usually destroyed on sight.”
As I spoke with feigned regret, the vampire’s mood soured.
“What? Who, who on earth would dare treat relics of the past as heresy?”
“Who do you think decides what's heresy? The Sanctum, of course.”
“The Messengers of the Sky God… It’s them! They are good for nothing!”
It wasn't a lie. Just a slight exaggeration.
Not everyone in the world was an apostle of the Sky God, so it wasn't impossible to sell them. The Military State, in particular, was the only nation that taxed its shrines. With my mind-reading ability, getting a fair price would be a piece of cake.
But.
What if I acted like it was difficult and refused this treasure?
“Just in case, do you happen to have any paintings or divine statues that feel similar to Biblical illustrations?”
The vampire fidgeted with her fingers as she answered.
“…If you mean one stained with my blood, I still have it.”
“Goodness. The moment something like that is revealed to the world, an extermination order will be issued.”
I put on a troubled expression, a look that said the payment she brought was unsuitable for me. And so the vampire, believing she had lost her ability to pay, felt a sense of apology toward me.
“It seems I have been of little help again.”
“Not at all. The thought alone is more than enough.”
Hiding my disappointment, I pretended to refuse. I acted like I wanted to accept, but that the payment offered was unsuitable. I dragged out my words, adding to the burden on the vampire's heart.
‘In the end, nothing I have was of any help.’
Hearing the quiet guilt transmitted from the vampire’s mind, I smiled inwardly.
“It’s fine, I tell you. Don’t be discouraged. It’s not like I did it expecting a reward in the first place. Well, I’ll keep giving you the electric massages!”
Even my consolation couldn't lift the shadow from the vampire's heart.
“It is I who am sorry. I never thought I cared for material wealth, but now I see how fleeting time is. Even if I remain, all that I possess has withered away with time.”
“I already received your Original Blood. That’s more than enough, so please don’t worry about it.”
“But.”
“Hey. I said it’s fine.”
Good. I’d burdened her enough. Now it was time to ease up a little.
I grinned broadly and held up my index finger.
“Alright. Enough of this gloomy talk. I'll give you that massage. Go on, open up your chest. If you hold it open with both hands, I'll stick my fingers deep inside and sprinkle my mana all over.”
A joke so blatant even an idiot would get it. The vampire, who had been so down with guilt, scowled as if she’d never been sad at all.
“Could you not choose your words more carefully? It's uncomfortable, as if you're describing some lewd act.”
“Should I describe it seriously, then? Alright, let's see. The ribs and fascia are wrapped tightly around the cardiac region… I need to flip the lungs, but the angle's not right, so if you could just move them a bit—Ugh. Wait. I'm getting nauseous. Blech.”
“…Hah, I see I cannot win against you with words. Fine. Do as you will.”
The mood had lightened sufficiently. With a dry laugh, the vampire promptly opened her chest.
Not long after, her face flushed, the vampire clutched at her chest and moved away from me, asking me to do it again next time.
After the vampire left, I let out a long sigh. The fingers that had shot out lightning were trembling faintly.
…The heart massage that so easily raises the vampire's affection level… It's all well and good, but it's terrible for my mental health. I feel like I can still feel that squishy texture on my fingers.
I may be used to looking inside people's minds, but I never wanted to look inside their actual bodies.
I made a meat dish today, but every time I saw the red flesh, my stomach churned, and I couldn't bring myself to eat it, so I gave it to Azzy. Azzy, none the wiser, yelped happily.