Chapter 343: Its Name is Azzyberus
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 343: Its Name is Azzyberus
Wow. This is new. Me, having a dream.
Ordinary people try to diminish the meaning of those chaotic fantasies by calling them nonsense dreams. But I know better. In many cases, a dream is more than just nonsense.
Sleep is when the human consciousness is at its weakest. A dream is the static that slips through when the signals flowing through your nerves are faint. It’s hard to decipher, covered in layers of noise, but at its very center lies the root of an unconscious you weren't even aware of.
Well, most people can't find it, so their dreams end up being nonsense… but my case is a little different.
A memory that burrowed into my mind while I slept. Fill the room? Whose memory is this?
“Woof! Woof woof!”
“Wake up! Wake up!”
The sound of a dog barking pierced my ears. I scowled, my eyes still closed, annoyed by the interruption to my thoughts. A nonsense dream is better than a real dog. At least a nonsense dream doesn't wake me up.
“Azzy. Can you stop the barking?”
Of course, words weren't going to stop her. Azzy patted the bed and shouted.
“Wake up! It’s morning!”
“Lazybones!”
“I’m not a lazybones. I’m waging a holy war against the tyranny of morning that seeks to dominate humanity.”
“Lazybones!”
“You have to be diligent!”
She’s not the King of Roosters, but she sure wakes me up every morning. Tch. I was hoping to get some deep sleep for once. Animals are worse than humans.
Fine, I’m getting up, I’m getting up. I’ll think about that dream later. What was I dreaming about, anyway? I’m pretty sure it was just some nonsense.
“Ugh. Anyway, why are you two singing in a round?”
As I said that and opened my eyes, I saw two of Azzy’s heads side-by-side, staring down at me. I yelped in shock.
“It’s Cerberus!”
“Woof! It’s me, Azzy!”
“Cerber…? Is that food?”
“Not Cerberus, then. It only has two heads! A two-headed dog?”
“I have one head!”
“Idiot!”
“I don’t want to be called an idiot by a puppy that’s grown a second head!”
What in the world was going on? I opened my eyes to find Azzy had been cloned. Did the King of Stray Dogs wander in from somewhere? This was a problem. One was already a handful, but two…
I instinctively started to use my mind-reading ability, then paused. Right. My opponent was the Dog King. I could only read what Azzy chose to reveal on the surface. It would be useless to even try…
‘Look at that surprised face. How rare~.’
I can read it? What’s happening? Did she get locked up somewhere, eat something weird, and turn human? Or did my mind-reading powers awaken?
‘Father, who usually shows no openings, looks quite defenseless while sleeping~. The King of Humans may have lost all his power, but does he truly have no means of protecting himself? Further observation is necessary!’
What the. ‘Azzy’ was Hilde all along.
Tch. And here I thought I was having a growth spurt. Then again, there’s no way a human could read a dog’s mind. Not that I need to read it to understand her, anyway.
Let’s just try it once.
‘Wake up! Woof! Wake up! Woof!’
Ugh. Yep, can’t read it.
I don’t need mind-reading to know that Azzy is trying to wake me up. But all my power can glean is her mood or actions, and even that is too chaotic to be of any use.
It seems she's trying to be kind to me. Though in this case, letting me sleep would be the kindest thing.
“What? What’s all this noise… huh?”
The Regressor, who had irritably drawn the curtains, saw the cloned Azzy and her eyes went wide. I cupped the two Azzys’ faces in my hands like a pedestal and announced.
“Ta-da. It’s Azzyberus.”
“It has two heads!”
Is that what’s important? Just ignore the minor details.
“Woof woof! Stop right there!”
“Woof woof woof!”
Unlike other humans, Azzy showed no particular wariness upon seeing an identical ‘Azzy.’ In fact, when ‘Azzy’ started running around energetically, she wagged her tail furiously and joined in. The two of them played a precarious game of tag, narrowly avoiding knocking over the furniture.
“Maybe because there are two of them, they’re twice as chaotic.”
“One of them isn’t Azzy. It’s the Camarilla, pretending to be Azzy.”
The Regressor grumbled as she watched Azzy and ‘Azzy’ play.
“What is she even doing? Putting on dog ears and a tail and running around like a dog? There’s a limit to bad taste… What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You know, that applies to the real Azzy, too. Putting on dog ears and a tail and acting like a dog is exactly what Azzy does.”
“What are you talking about? Azzy is the Dog King! What’s wrong with the Dog King acting like a dog!”
“That’s strange. Didn’t you treat Azzy like a human, Shei? You threw a fit when I was playing with her, saying I was being too rough. You grumbled when I tried to give her leftovers. And now you’re saying it’s natural for her to have dog ears and a tail and act like a dog? That’s a contradiction.”
Honestly, I think treating a dog like a human is a bigger problem than a human acting like a dog. If you’re going to treat a dog like a person, you should make it fulfill the corresponding responsibilities and duties. If it doesn’t work, is useless, and gets treated like royalty, is that a pet? Or the master of the house?
“The Dog King is the representative of all dogs. It’s only natural for her to do dog things!”
“So you admit that Azzy is essentially a pure dog who has merely taken on a human form?”
“I admit…”
The Regressor, having said that much, swallowed the rest of her words and shouted again.
“…I don’t! But that doesn’t mean I can treat her like a real dog!”
“Seriously. So stubborn.”
As the Regressor’s voice grew louder, Azzy stopped playing, tilted her head, and showed interest. ‘Azzy’ followed suit, cautiously approaching.
Tsk. Is she planning on staying transformed until I guess correctly? This woman has some seriously bad taste. It would be suspicious if I picked her out right away, so maybe I’ll make her show her true colors first.
“Azzy.”
“Woof!”
“Woof!”
Azzy and ‘Azzy’ answered in unison. I confirmed it last time, but I can’t tell them apart by voice either. I never knew she could imitate the tone of a dog’s bark so perfectly.
“Azzy. Don’t you have any thoughts about seeing a creature that looks exactly like you right in front of you?”
“Woof? Looks the same?”
“What does?”
Azzy and ‘Azzy’ tilted their heads in unison. Whoops. Right. I didn’t think of that. Azzy’s a dog, so she doesn’t look in the mirror much and wouldn't be conscious of her own appearance. Besides, their scents would be completely different. To Azzy right now, ‘Azzy’ is just a human acting similar to her.
“Alright, Azzys. I’m now going to conduct a simple test to determine which one of you is the real Azzy.”
“Woof? Toast?”
“Food?”
Sigh. It’s probably too much to expect a dog to have a sense of dignity and uniqueness. I should just get this over with instead of trying to explain.
Among the food the Regressor had brought out were some dried fruits. I picked up a dried persimmon and tore off a piece. Befitting the Regressor’s taste, the large persimmon had a luxurious aroma that caught Azzy’s eye. As I waved it from side to side, the eyes of both Azzy and ‘Azzy’ followed my hand.
I shouted.
“Azzy, sit!”
“Woof!”
“Stand!”
“Woof!”
“Good girl! Here, eat!”
“Woof woof woof!”
I tossed the piece of persimmon into the air, and both Azzy and ‘Azzy’ leaped for it. After a mid-air struggle, the one who claimed the prize was Azzy.
After tasting the persimmon with a series of loud chomps, Azzy’s eyes widened and she licked her lips. Swallowing it in an instant, she began to jump up and down, her eyes sparkling.
“Yummy! Sweet! Yummy!”
“It’s good, right? It’s a dried persimmon. I hid them because I was afraid if you got one taste, my share would disappear.”
Now I’m going to lose my fruit to Azzy every time I eat. Musing on this sad fact, I turned to ‘Azzy.’
‘Ugh. The Dog King is on a whole other level. How am I supposed to snatch that from her? I’m going to be found out too easily~.’
No matter how much of a pushover she seems, the Dog King is still a king. It’s hard to match her agility. In any case, I’ve laid the groundwork. From this point on, it won’t be strange for me to identify Hilde.
“Want some? Here. Come and get it.”
I tore the persimmon into small pieces and hid them in both hands. Then, I slightly parted my fingers to create a gap and held my hands out to them.
“Woof woof! Woof woof woof! ‘Simmon!”
“It’s per-simmon.”
Without a hint of hesitation, Azzy shoved her snout into the gap between my fingers. When the gap proved too small for her mouth, she stuck out her tongue to try and get the persimmon. When that didn’t work either, she just licked it.
‘…Mmm. It’s not like I can’t copy that.’
The original was providing a perfect example right before her eyes. Alright, Hilde. You have to follow her lead, right?
There was a slight hesitation, but Hilde stuck her tongue into my hand without much difference. On the outside, you couldn't tell, but the sensation on my fingers was distinctly different. Azzy was bold, but Hilde’s tongue held a slight reservation.
‘As an actor, I shouldn't be feeling this, but… this might be a little, just a little, embarrassing?’
When you think about it, it is pretty peculiar. Though both are animals, humans feel the strange emotion of shame.
“…You have some seriously bad taste.”
I’ll just ignore the Regressor’s muttering. If you don’t want to see it, close your own eyes.
As my hands were getting soaked in saliva, Azzy started getting frustrated and snapped her teeth. Startled, I opened my hands and revealed the pieces of persimmon. Azzy and ‘Azzy’ devoured them in the blink of an eye.
“Sweet! Yummy!”
“Yummy! Yummy! Yummy!”
Look at that reaction. It’s rewarding to feed them. After swallowing every last bit, their gazes naturally shifted to the remaining persimmon. I held up the piece, which was now half its original size.
“Want more?”
“Woof! I’m hungry!”
“I got hungry!”
“Haha. But what to do?”
In the brief moment my hands crossed, I hid the persimmon up my sleeve. After a few meaningless gestures, I spread my palms wide and showed them.
“Ta-da! The persimmon is gone!”
“Woof?!”
Azzy looked like her world had ended. A child would have known it was a simple sleight of hand, but Azzy the Dog King had no immunity to such magic. If it disappears before her eyes, she believes it’s real.
Hilde, unaware of this fact, was a little late with her acting, but she coolly assessed the situation.
‘The Dog King would know the persimmon isn't gone because of the smell. I've been a step behind until now, so I'll take the initiative this time.’
‘Azzy’ lifted her nose and started sniffing. Hearing the sound, Azzy began to sniff as well.
Then, as if on cue, they both looked at me.
“It’s there! It’s not gone!”
“I smell persimmon!”
Following Azzy’s earlier example, ‘Azzy’ immediately shoved her head into the opening of my sleeve. But of course, her face wouldn’t fit. Instead, she tried to use her hand to pull it out.
However, the persimmon was already deep inside. A bulge was clearly visible near my sleeve. Pretending to have found it by smell, ‘Azzy’ sniffed her way up my forearm. She got closer to the persimmon, but a thin layer of cloth separated ‘Azzy’ from her prize.
‘It's too deep. I don't think I can get it out without ripping his clothes. What would the Dog King do in this situation...?’
In a bind, ‘Azzy’ glanced at Azzy for a hint.
Azzy was currently enjoying a feast, a whole dried persimmon in her mouth.
‘Huh?’
“Ta-da. There were actually two persimmons.”
I had put one in my pocket beforehand.
If the premise is false, then all subsequent propositions are also false. A magician’s trick must always begin by subverting the premise. There was never just one persimmon, and Azzy, with her superior sense of smell, figured it out immediately. While ‘Azzy’ was distracted, Azzy had already retrieved the persimmon from my pocket and was savoring it.
Which means, the ‘Azzy’ who was practically climbing on top of me, burying her face in my chest, was Hilde.
‘Azzy’ took another look at herself. At her own form, climbing on me, nose pressed against me, sniffing away.
‘Azzy’ froze as if she had malfunctioned. I pulled the persimmon from my sleeve and said.
“Hilde.”
“…Woof.”
“Even for you, this is a bit embarrassing, isn't it?”
“…Yeees.”
“What are you doing? Change back.”
‘Azzy,’ no, Hilde, slowly sat up. The shock must have been significant this time, as the tips of her ears were tinged a faint red.
Hilde scratched the back of her neck with an awkward expression.
“Ahaha. You completely got me~. I should've known I can't beat you, Father.”
“Don't be too disappointed. The person solving the quiz has a massive advantage over the one who creates it. You were just like a real puppy.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“It is. Here, a prize. The persimmon you wanted so badly.”
I pushed the now-slobbery persimmon into Hilde’s mouth. She shot me a glare but tasted it with a look of displeasure. The taste hadn’t gone anywhere just because it was hidden in my sleeve, and Hilde’s mood quickly improved.
“I thought it would be easy since she’s the Dog King. It was ‘my’ miscalculation.”
“Hold your head high. There’s no shame in being found out by me. Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to guess. Right, Shei?”
The Regressor, who had been watching silently, answered with a start.
“…No, I figured it out a while ago.”
‘It’s confusing just by looking, but it’s clear if I use the Seven Colored Eyes. Seven Colored Eyes, Jade Eyes, activate.’
The Regressor looked at Hilde with green pupils. The Jade Eyes were the eyes that pierced through things. While she couldn't see through a body filled with Qi, the Regressor had found another use for them.
‘Yes. Just as I thought. The Jade Eyes can’t see inside the body, but… they can see the material of the clothes. Azzy’s clothes are a standard-issue shirt, but the Camarilla’s is a special Clothing Packet. So that’s how the Camarilla changes her outfits. It was thanks to a specially made Clothing Packet.’
True, even if you transform, your clothes can’t do the same. When she transformed into Tyr last time, Tyr herself had fashioned clothes from darkness, but Azzy doesn’t even know what she’s wearing.
Even Hilde can’t carry every type of clothing in the world. Instead, she uses a special Clothing Packet that can become any type of clothing. An alchemic piece of equipment that can not only become clothes, but also weapons, gear, or even puppy ears and a tail, depending on how it’s made.
The General’s Combat Arm, Limitless Transformations.
It might seem like a superior version of my cards, but Hilde’s ability to use it by creating a mold with her Qi is what’s abnormal. If it were me, my Qi and mana would be depleted after a single transformation.
‘The ears and tail are attached to her skin, too. It looks like she’s even using a bio-receptor. I have to admit, that transformation art is impressive… but since I have Agartha’s Mask, there’s no reason for me to learn it.’
The Regressor, ever on the lookout for a power-up, shook her head and spoke.
“Anyway, why do you keep giving these ridiculous quizzes? You always get found out.”
Why give a quiz? How could she not know something so obvious?
“You really don't get it, do you, Shei?”
“Get what?”
“There's only one reason to give a quiz. It's because you want someone to get the right answer.”
Because you want someone to notice you.
No matter how she transforms, no matter who she imitates, she keeps testing us because she wants to be found out. I can’t believe I have to explain something so obvious. We have a long way to go.
My kind explanation didn’t seem to clear things up for the Regressor, who tilted her head and asked.
“So why do we have to be the ones to answer it?”
I guess regression costs you your emotional intelligence. Too lazy to explain further, I ignored her and went to eat my persimmon. I should at least get a taste.
I removed the stem from a persimmon and tore it in half. A sweet fragrance rose from the long, torn flesh. Just as I was about to pop it into my mouth after savoring it with my eyes and nose, a thought drifted over from across the room.
‘I see. So 'I' wanted someone to recognize 'me'.'
It was Hilde’s thought. She had stopped chewing her persimmon, lost in thought, repeating my words to herself.
‘That I am here.’