Chapter 17: That's the Right Answer, Alchemist
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 17: That's the Right Answer, Alchemist
Today's lesson was good. I stretched my arms wide and was about to leave when the vampire's voice stopped me.
[Do you have nothing for me today?]
“Nothing?”
[Just what I said. Anything. Something interesting.]
‘The story I heard yesterday, the one about the clothes and the needle, was quite interesting. He has a knack for storytelling. I wonder if he has any other tales?’
The vampire, who had been shut away from the world in her coffin for hundreds of years, seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed the story I told her yesterday. She held me back like a lonely old grandmother.
But it's not like all my stories are interesting, no matter how much she hopes. And I don't really have anything to talk about.
I scratched my head and said.
“Something interesting, huh? Well then, how about I teach you some magic?”
[Magic?]
I'd said it thinking they wouldn't be interested, but both the vampire and the Regressor showed interest at the same time. Huh. This much attention is a bit much.
“Don't get your hopes up. The only magic I can teach you is the Military State's standard magic they teach in secondary school.”
‘Tch. And here I thought he meant Unique Magic.’
The Regressor's interest died down just as quickly. Her standards were so high now that she didn't seem to care for the ordinary skills used by someone like me.
Even though she herself would be considered a ‘mediocre talent who burned through her potential early’ if she were among ‘them’. Hmph. A mediocre Regressor who only gets by on lucky breaks and powerful items. Good for her.
But in contrast, look at this. The vampire's reaction was beautifully textbook.
[You—you can use magic?!]
Humans look up to find motivation and look down to find a sense of security. For me, the one below was this vampire, who was suspiciously old and nothing else.
Ah, my pride is swelling. The theory that modern people are geniuses is real. Because this ancient vampire is looking at me as if I were some kind of prodigy.
My chest puffed out with pride as I spoke.
“Yes. I can use magic.”
The Regressor snorted.
‘It's just the Military State's standard magic that every Tom, Dick, and Harry learns. Showing off about such a useless spell…’
As if she was even a Tom or a Dick in her first timeline. More like a rat kicked to death by a cow's hind leg, maybe?
Just leave already. Why are you still here listening to me?
If you're going to stay for the lesson, you should take a cue from the vampire. That's the kind of reaction that makes explaining things worthwhile.
[Magic is a product of the Arcane, an esoteric art that only the most profound sages could approach! And you, a thing like you, can wield something that even I could not?]
“A thing like me? For your information, where I'm from, I was a pretty big deal.”
I may be a criminal in the Military State and groveling around here, but I was always first in my class at the secondary military school. Even after I dropped out, there wasn't a soul who didn't know of the magician of the back alleys.
Though I was famous more as a clown than a sage…
“And it's not like I'm special. There are so many people who can use magic. It's something everyone tries at least once if they go to secondary school.”
I was just stating a piece of common sense, but the vampire looked as shocked as if she were witnessing the end of the world.
[Everyone… tries it at least once? Magic?]
“Of course.”
[How many of them are there?]
“The secondary school I attended had two hundred students per grade, and there are ten such schools, so… yes. That's a magic-using population of at least two thousand.”
[Two… thousand….]
The vampire was genuinely astonished, clicking her tongue in disbelief.
[Two thousand mages. That's more than the population of a decent-sized city.]
“These days, a population of two thousand doesn't even count as a city. The population has grown so much. You'd have to go to some rural backwater to find a town of two thousand. And you seem to be mistaken about something.”
It's two thousand per grade.
Ah, right. The concepts of schools and grades didn't exist back then. I had to correct her misunderstanding.
“The total magic-using population isn't two thousand. That's just the thirteen-year-olds attending secondary military school. There's an equal number of mages among the fourteen-year-olds, and the same for those a year older, and so on…”
[Impossible! Then, are you saying there are no less than a hundred thousand mages?!]
“Not exactly mages, more like a population that can use magic. And very few of them go on to study it professionally.”
[Still, a hundred thousand. A hundred thousand….]
Back in her day, many countries didn't even have a population of a hundred thousand. It was no wonder she was shocked. I shrugged and said.
“Well, something like that. A thousand years creates quite a gap, doesn't it?”
Thank you, civilization. Thank you, precious history of humanity, for putting me a thousand years ahead of this vampire.
As I was basking in my superiority, a tactless voice cut in.
“Stop feeding her misconceptions. Only a tiny fraction of them actually have a talent for magic.”
The Regressor started picking a fight.
Jeez, she learned magic herself, so why is she so dismissive? She chided me as if she couldn't stand not putting herself down.
“If you actually made them use magic, most of them wouldn't be able to do it properly. Talent is what matters most in that field, so many people just learn the basics and then drop it. It's better to spend that time learning combat or strategy.”
She was probably trying to devalue it, but unfortunately for her, even that was a marvel to the vampire.
[To have the chance to learn magic and give it up? Is such a thing even possible…?]
“Ah, well. It's a long story. Hmm.”
This time, I cut in.
“When knowledge becomes more common than pebbles on the road, people start treating it like pebbles.”
[Even though it would surely become a source of power if they learned it?]
“It just means that power is also a commodity that follows the laws of economics. If it's not rare, there's no need to obtain it.”
[Hah. What a peculiar perspective….]
“Well, that's the new world for you, isn't it?”
[Th-then. By any chance.]
As I spoke nonchalantly, the vampire began to speak hesitantly from inside her coffin.
Like a greedy child coveting something forbidden—no, like a timid girl who would blame herself for being greedy just for desiring it.
[If someone like me were to ask to learn… would you teach me?]
“Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, aren't you unable to learn magic?”
[I'm not saying I would use it. I just… want to try learning it. Like the others do, in that place called a school….]
“Ah. So you want to be a mature student.”
People who couldn't learn at the right time often have regrets. From a modern perspective, it might not seem like a big deal, but regrets pile up with the passing years. I scratched my head.
“To go to school, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, you'd have to solve your resident registration problem first…”
That would be difficult. The Military State's registration is quite strict. Well, for a vampire of her stature, even the strict Military State wouldn't make establishing an identity too hard. I shrugged and replied.
“If you want to learn, you don't necessarily have to choose a school. As long as you can pay, you can learn perfectly well at a private academy.”
[Really?]
Knowledge may be common, but it's not completely worthless like a pebble. The Military State keeps a tight grip on anything from 3rd-level strategy magic and up, but private academies teach up to 2nd-level battle magic.
As I shrugged.
[In that case. Could you perhaps teach me magic?]
“Huh? Me?”
[Yes. Right now, my only windows to the world are you and Shei.]
Me? Teach magic to a thousand-year-old vampire, a Progenitor whose every deed is recorded in legend?
That's ridiculous. I'm a master of theory, but my practical skills are garbage. I was the guy who could read a magic teacher's mind down to the last detail and still only manage 0-level illusionary magic, forcing me to drop out.
This isn't false modesty. Even if magic isn't my major, if they see me barely scraping by with 0-level spells, they might doubt my abilities. This was something I had to avoid, no questions asked.
Just as I was about to refuse.
‘Did he say it would cost money? No matter. I have more than enough gold….’
Money.
It was always the same. Gold was a metal that blinded people.
A detestable prize that stands atop one person's head, makes steel shed another's blood, and then aloofly moves on to the next crown.
Even a gentleman might despise money, but he wouldn't shun it. The same went for a serious and considerate person like myself.
My attitude changed in an instant. I clenched my fist and placed it over my heart.
“I suppose I could teach Trainee Tyrkanzyaka.”
Then I made a circle with my thumb and index finger and gave it a little shake.
“Ah, but you see. Even for an instructor, it's a bit much to teach magic for free. And the security classification gets higher as the level increases. So, there's the matter of payment.”
[Are you asking for gold?]
“Not necessarily. Just a token of your sincerity. Something to motivate me.”
My tone was so transparently greedy that the Regressor clicked her tongue and glared at me. I didn't need to read her mind. She was probably about to criticize a Military State officer for lining his own pockets.
But you know what? A few hundred years ago, bribes were ‘common sense’.
[Gold is a modest price. Very well.]
Creeak. With that sound, the coffin lid opened at an angle. From within the still-surging darkness, a pitch-black hand floated up, holding something.
Whoa, really? She's really giving it to me?
As expected, crisis is opportunity. The crisis of having to live in the same space as a thousand-year-old vampire was equivalent to the opportunity to fleece a rich old woman who knew nothing of the world!
I desperately hid my impatience and focused on the object the black hand was bringing. It was… a golden crown that dripped with elegance at a single glance.
A windfall. I cleared my throat to keep my joy from leaking out and said.
“Taking it out of a coffin makes it look like a burial good. Ow!”
[That's enough nonsense from you.]
Did she have to throw it, though? What if this precious thing got scratched? Wary of even leaving a fingerprint, I pulled my sleeve down over my hand and carefully accepted the crown.
My god. The weight of it. A real crown? If this was all gold, even with the price drop due to alchemy, it would be worth…
…Wait, hold on.
Alchemy, a thousand years ago, the technological gap, and that strangely gullible attitude…
No way. Just in case, I examined the golden crown.
Ah, why are my bad feelings never wrong?
“This is fake!”
[…?]
“Come to think of it, this is gold from before the Alchemic Revolution, isn't it? That means it's fake gold! Oh, for crying out loud!”
The vampire was genuinely bewildered.
[Gold is gold. How can there be a distinction between fake gold and real gold?]
“There is. As of a hundred years ago.”
[Wh-what. Don't tell me.]
‘Again, I've failed to keep up with the times… is that it? Is it that pattern again…?’
I felt like I'd been scammed and thought about taking my anger out on her, but after reading her thoughts, I felt too sorry for her to have the energy. Right, I'd lost a bit of money I was supposed to receive, but the vampire had essentially lost everything she owned.
Times like these, mind-reading is a curse. If I hadn't known, I would have shaken her down until she couldn't squeeze out another tear.
Sigh. Just my luck. And here I thought I was about to make some money.
“Normally, I'd have to arrest you for counterfeiting gold coins, but since knowledge of alchemy was nonexistent in the era Trainee Tyrkanzyaka lived in, I'll let it slide. Now, look.”
I drew a star in the center of the crown with my finger. If it were pure gold, nothing should have happened, but it glowed red-hot, as if seared by a branding iron.
“A golden crown implies shininess and weight. That would probably be the third and fourth corners. Hmm, it's definitely old alchemy; the alchemical grade is low. Even I can undo this.”
I tapped the third and fourth corners. I scraped the front and back with my fingernail, tracing a circle. Tuk. Finally, I pushed mana along the line, and the golden crown began to melt away, changing color.
What was revealed was a dull, ink-colored metal.
It was alchemic steel—far more useful, more common, and cheaper than gold. It was certainly several times more useful than gold… but as with all things in the world, value is not proportional to utility.
I placed it on the teacher's desk and said.
“It's gold created through alchemy. Long ago…”
Wait. "Long ago" wouldn't even be half the vampire's age. I corrected myself.
“In the not-so-distant past, a human succeeded at alchemy. He managed to perform the forbidden art of turning base iron into gold, which until then had only been a legend. After that, those called alchemists realized they could create gold from alchemic steel with a bit of skill. As they kept making it, fake gold gradually began to flood the world. It didn't take long for the owners of real gold to notice something was wrong.”
The people who owned gold feared this change. They had done nothing, yet their wealth was diminishing as if it had a half-life. A few who caught on early were outraged and scrambled to figure out what was happening.
“And the moment they realized the truth, they immediately shut their mouths and started selling off the gold they owned.”
[Why? Without punishing the alchemists who created the fake gold?]
“Because they had to get rid of their gold before everyone else found out it was fake. If they punished the alchemists, everyone would know, wouldn't they?”
[They knew the gold they owned was fake. And knowing that, they sold it?]
“They sold it because they knew.”
It would be foolish to just sit there while the wealth you've accumulated evaporates in real time. It was the natural thing to do.
[But what about those who bought the fake gold, believing it to be real? Surely they didn't just stand by.]
“Correct!”
She's full of eagerness to learn. It's rewarding to teach her. I spread my hands with a broad smile.
“It's hard to summarize what happened after that. The buyers were furious, the sellers denied everything, and they fought, bickered, and started wars. It was absolute chaos, I hear. One historian commented that a weight in blood equal to all the gold in existence was shed. They even gave it a grand name: the Curse of Gold.”
Anyway. I waved the crown made of alchemic steel around and said.
“To put it simply, the price of gold is peanuts now. Thanks to alchemy, you can't tell the real from the fake. If I were to exaggerate a bit, it's probably worth about as much as a pile of firewood. The only exception is the Holy Gold, consecrated and guaranteed by the Sanctum, which still holds immense value… but the Sanctum's greatest enemy wouldn't have that kind of gold, would she?”
In other words, most of the vampire's wealth had become worthless. I sighed in disappointment, but still looked at the vampire with pity.
Things like liquor, pickled foods, or antiques might increase in value if aged properly. But as is the way of the world, if too much time passes, everything spoils. A thousand years was too long.
The vampire paused for a long moment before speaking.
[History, and even alchemy… How do you know all this? Don't tell me.]
Oh, still curious even now. I was pleased by her attitude and gave a big nod.
“That's right. I learned this at ‘school,’ too.”
[Again!]
“It's not just alchemy. Mathematics, biology, natural sciences, foreign languages, magical studies, mechanical engineering, ballistics, and so on. They teach all of it in secondary school.”
[What in the world… is this place called a school? Is it a place where talented children gathered from all over the world come to study? A Sage's Tower, something like that?]
“Nope. Anyone between the ages of fourteen and seventeen who graduates from elementary citizen school with excellent grades can get in if they want to.”
[I-impossible.]
She must have been deeply shocked, because her voice from the coffin grew quieter. The culture shock must have been pretty severe.
Then again, back in her day, the very act of learning something was a privilege reserved for the highest echelons of society. The path of learning was narrow, winding, and perilous. It was also exclusive, so many reached the end of the path only to despair before a firmly shut door.
Have things really gotten better compared to then?
“Anyway. You get it now, right? What a shame. Phew. That was exhausting. I guess we'll cancel class for today.”
[U-uhm. Wait.]
The vampire, unable to easily accept this changed world, finally tried to cross-reference with the Regressor.
[Shei. Is what he says… true?]
“…It's all true. But.”
‘Even if they learn it, not many people are as proficient as him. The Military State pursues specialization. Everyone delves deep into the field that suits their aptitude. It's strange that he's knowledgeable in both alchemy and magic, on top of being able to block my sword strike….’
She overestimates me just because I deflected her damn blade. Jeez. I can't even imagine how she would have treated me like scum if I hadn't.
Ah, my arm would have been cut off. I really would have become scum crawling on the ground.
“But it's not as amazing a place as he makes it out to be. If you get your hopes up, you'll be sorely disappointed.”
The Regressor said it nonchalantly. It was true that it was an ordinary place, so I didn't bother to argue.
The vampire, who had been marveling, suddenly voiced a question that occurred to her.
[Shei, did you also graduate from this secondary military school? Were you two perhaps classmates?]
“No, I only finished elementary citizen school.”
[Ah…, I see.]
‘Mmm. I see. Even the way they speak is different. There seems to be a gap between them….’
The vampire trailed off apologetically. The Regressor, sensing the pity hidden in her tone, hurriedly made an excuse.
“No?! The reason I only went to elementary citizen school is because I was an orphan and couldn't afford the tuition!”
[Oh, dear.]
“No! I mean! I didn't need to go to secondary school! I was good enough without it!”
[I understand. Do not worry. I will do my best to teach you Bloodcraft.]
“That's not what I meant!”
Hah, I wasn't exactly trying to brag, but it ended up this way. I wiped my nose and said.
“For the record, I didn't have parents either, but I attended on a scholarship. I was first in my class all the way through secondary military school.”
“You shut up!”
“The boughs that bear most hang lowest, and the fullest pockets are the quietest when shaken… If you insist, I shall remain silent.”
“You call that shutting up?!”
This is why uneducated people are so… Hah.
I did as she asked and just sighed quietly, but even that seemed to displease the Regressor. She fumed and pulled something out of an unseen space.