Enjoyable Office Life

Back in the day.

There was this cartoon I watched as a kid where some little yellow sponge bastard had the gall to say he liked Mondays.

I was just a little kid back then.

Looking back, I have to wonder if that was the exact moment my lifelong hatred for that yellow sponge bastard began.

And the reason I'm even thinking about this is…

"…Ah, I want to go home."

Because it was Monday morning.

Motherfucker.

Letting out a nice, full-bodied curse first thing in the morning made me feel just a tiny bit better.

Still, as a working stiff who had to earn a living, I had no choice but to leave the house and catch the bus. Hop off, transfer to the subway, walk a little farther, and there it was—the company.

"…How long do I have to keep doing this?"

Should've gotten into crypto.

Should've gotten into stocks.

Should've started a business.

Spouting empty regrets like that wouldn't turn back the clock. Odds were I'd keep grinding away in loyalty until the company treated me like absolute garbage or kicked me out first.

In that case…

"……."

Maybe I ought to take this rare opportunity I'd stumbled into and actually enjoy my office life for once.

And right on cue…

"Jichan-ssi, good morning."

"Ah… yes. Good morning, sunbaenim."

One of my Management Targets, Chu Yeonju, flashed a bright smile and headed into the building ahead of me. I followed her inside and stepped into the same elevator, taking a spot right beside her.

The moment she noticed I was standing next to her…

"Did you have a nice weekend?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Yes. How about you, sunbaenim?"

"I had a good one too."

We exchanged a bit of everyday small talk in the faintly noisy elevator.

Purity.

If the keyword for Park Eunseo was seductive, then the keyword for Chu Yeonju was pure, unadulterated innocence. Nearly 170 centimeters of slender height. Long hair cascading all the way down to her waist with every little sway. And her figure… even more impressive than Park Eunseo's already excellent one.

But Chu Yeonju's greatest charm of all was still…

"Do your best today too, Jichan-ssi. Fighting!"

"Ah… yes."

…that face.

A big, freely smiling mouth. Gently drooping outer corners of the eyes. And that tear mole that made you want to look at those eyes a second time. They say some people have a face that could kill—and calling Chu Yeonju's the most beautiful in the entire company wouldn't be an exaggeration in the slightest.

Unfortunately, though, Chu Yeonju belonged to Planning Team 2 while I was in Planning Team 1, so at some point we had to go our separate ways.

"…Tsk."

I watched the sway of her hips—looking even wider than Park Eunseo's—as she walked off first, then turned away.

"Jichan-ssi, any word from Seongyeon?"

"I already sent it over."

"Let me know the second you get a reply."

"Yes."

"Assistant Manager Choi Jichan, could you take a look at this for me?"

"Ah… you'll need to get confirmation from Finance on that one. If we handle it on our own and it goes wrong, we're in serious trouble."

"Got it, thank you!"

Office life was an endless slog. Seriously—what the hell were people even doing that the work never, ever stopped coming?

"Haa…."

"Heeey—."

"…Hm?"

"Smoke?"

"…Yeah."

Still. Having at least one entry-cohort buddy I actually got along with made the place halfway livable. Park Humin, holding up two canned coffees and pointing outside with a finger, was seductive in a completely different way from Park Eunseo the other day. A seductive little bastard who knew exactly how to summon a cigarette break.

Pop—!

The second I took the canned coffee he held out, I cracked it open.

Click!

I snapped the neck of my turbo lighter and lit my cigarette, and the moment the flame caught…

"Haa… Mondays fucking suck."

Just like last time, I laid my current mood out for Park Humin without a single filter.

"What about work? It's been a little over a week now. You settling in?"

"More or less."

"Yeah, it seems like it. Yo, word about you is even reaching our side."

"…Why is talk about me making it all the way to the PR Department?"

"They're saying you're good at your ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠job. You're basically pulling two-and-a-half people's weight right now."

"Ahh…."

…So that was what this was about.

"Gotta do what you gotta do to eat, motherfucker."

Even as I answered like that, the strange little thrill I felt at being told I was good at my job made me wonder if I really was a corporate drone down to my bones. Which only made it suck even more.

But then someone appeared who could soothe this shitty mood of mine.

"…Whoa, it's Chu Yeonju sunbaenim."

"……."

Chu Yeonju. Naturally she hadn't come out for a smoke… she seemed to have stepped out briefly to grab a drink from the vending machine. Even the way she stood in front of it, a finger resting against her chin as she deliberated over what to pick, radiated pure innocence from every angle.

On top of that, from where Park Humin and I were standing we had her in profile, which meant Chu Yeonju's S-line was on full, dizzying display. At a glance, her curves ran far richer than Park Eunseo's already ample figure. Drop your eyes lower and her ass twitched with a cushiony fullness that looked almost overflowing. And the stretch of waist between all that volume was so impossibly slim it nearly vanished from sight.

Park Humin lost his mind looking at her.

"…She's gotta have a boyfriend, right?"

"Ah, stop with the loser talk."

"The fuck? You're the bigger freak for looking at someone like that and not saying it. You ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a eunuch or what?"

"Bullshit. You seen one?"

"Don't need to see it to know. How the fuck do you not say something like that? As a man, you're neglecting your duties, you bastard."

"What did Jichan-ssi do wrong?"

"Huh?"

"N-no, nothing!"

Fuck. Our bickering must have gotten a little loud, because Chu Yeonju—who had already picked out an electrolyte drink at some point—had wandered over our way. She smiled, that pure, innocent smile filling her whole face…

"I-i-it's nothing, sunbaenim. We were just chatting a bit as entry-cohort buddies… hahahahaha…."

…and Park Humin short-circuited on the spot.

But he wasn't the only one. I short-circuited right along with him, going stiff as a board at the sight of Chu Yeonju's slight eye-smile. We'd just broken down in different ways, that was all.

"It's so nice seeing entry-cohort friends getting along. I'd love to have fun at work with my own cohort too… but I guess I'm just not the kind of person people welcome."

"No way. If you're really that bored, we'd be happy to be your friends—ahaha!"

…What a clown. This was the same bastard who had no trouble snagging girls' numbers at bars, and even I couldn't figure out why he was acting like this…

"Thank you, Humin-ssi. You too, Jichan-ssi. See you around."

"…Yes."

…Actually, never mind. I got it.

"See you around, see you around, see you around…!"

"Ah, you idiot. Tone it down."

This guy was taking it way too far, though. Fortunately, someone showed up who shut Park Humin's nonsense down in a single stroke.

"Uh… it's An Jihye."

"……."

An Jihye. The lines of her women's suit, tailored perfectly to her body, looked genuinely good. Her short, gently waved bob that didn't quite reach her neck looked genuinely good. The way she registered the glances of men sneaking looks at her with those haughty eyes looked genuinely good.

But "looking good" was all it was.

"Ah, that fucking bitch."

"…You're still on that?"

"She can go fuck herself. She's goddamn unbearable."

"You don't even have one to fuck with."

"Oh my fucking god."

She had a temper from hell. Since we butted heads on work matters at every turn, she was the kind of woman who looked fantastic but whom I had zero desire to actually deal with.

An Jihye shot me a glance, gave a sharp little frown between her brows, grabbed the drink she wanted, and immediately left the terrace.

"Don't go liking that kind, Humin."

"'That kind'? Harsh words."

"Harsh is fine when it's her."

The reason I disliked An Jihye this much went back to not long after she'd joined the company. Watching her treat other guys ice-cold while giggling and fawning over the silver-spoon types had pissed me off to no end. Back then I hadn't been thinking about women at all—I'd been so swamped myself I barely had room to notice. But once I did start noticing, the way An Jihye treated me started giving off the distinct impression that she looked down on me.

No matter how pretty or fuckable she looked. I wasn't enough of a sucker to go kissing the feet of a woman who looked down on me.

But then…

"Come to think of it, she's also…."

…Wasn't An Jihye on the Office Romance Management list too?

"…Huh."

Roughly… about half a year. Right around then, An Jihye's patterns had seemed to shift a little as well.

Wait. Half a year?

"What are you mumbling about by yourself?"

"Ahh… nothing. I'm heading back in."

"Yeah yeah, hang in there."

As if the bickering had never happened, Park Humin and I exchanged a perfectly friendly goodbye, and I hurried off to lock myself in a bathroom stall and open the Office Romance Management App.

Then I checked again.

…Incidentally, there was still an exclamation mark after Park Eunseo's name, but that wasn't something to mess with right now. Ever since I'd slept with her, Park Eunseo had been moved down from Management Target into her own Special Management Target category.

Before that, Park Eunseo had been…

"She was right between sunbaenim and An Jihye."

In that case. Were the names listed in the order Manager Kim Yuhon had added them?

Yeah, that actually made sense. Seon Yeonwoo, Chu Yeonju, Park Eunseo, An Jihye. Just looking at that, it clearly wasn't alphabetical. And if you followed the order…

"…Yeah. Seon Yeonwoo would've been the one he wanted most. Then sunbaenim showed up next, then Eunseo… then An Jihye."

You could also look at it as the order they'd joined the company. Of course, Seon Yeonwoo was a bit of a special case here…

"A third-generation chaebol heiress… yeah, she'd naturally be the first one who came to mind."

The granddaughter of the Gaon Group's owner. She was the youngest of the bunch and had joined the company latest, but she was undeniably "connected" to the place. And given how Korean conglomerates worked… plenty of people entered the company through family ties. Maybe he'd even put some kind of advance reservation on Seon Yeonwoo.

And if that was right, I might stand to gain something else entirely.

Meaning…

"…Right. Is there a way to add more people to this?"

It didn't necessarily have to be an "employee" of our company. For example…

"…Hyung-soo-nim."

…Like Manager Kim Yuhon's wife, maybe?

"Hmm… I'll come back to that later."

I didn't have enough time to dig into that right now. I'd already burned a fair chunk of time going out for a smoke with Park Humin earlier. Sure, I occupied a pretty central position in the department, so even if I slacked off there wasn't really anyone who'd call me out to my face. Even the team leader was quietly watching my reactions these days. Not in a good way, mind you—more the "if that bastard bails too, I'm fucked" kind of watching.

…Put another way, the only one who got fucked in the short term when I put off my own work was me.

So.

"Hoo…."

Clackclackclackclack, tap, clackclackclackclack—

I sat back down at my computer and started hammering the keyboard like a slave. Before ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I knew it, it was already eleven.

Ding—

…With a little time still left before lunch, Park Eunseo texted to ask if I wanted to grab lunch together in a bit.

I thought about it for a moment… a very brief moment.

Once we'd settled on the menu, Park Eunseo admirably went ahead and cut down our wait time too.