Opening Party (1)
Friday morning dawned. The hamster wheel of school and work that never stopped spinning was finally about to pause at the threshold of the weekend.
"..."
But I didn't particularly welcome the weekend. Having time to myself was fine, sure.
The problem was, I'd already had four straight days of it. Even without resting or indulging in hobbies, the fact remained that I'd been alone.
Of course the lecture halls were packed with students, and at the office there were people who called me a colleague.
But we were only linked by a shared purpose. Calling that a genuine human relationship would have been a stretch.
I've been talking in circles, but what I mean is I'm lonely. Maybe because of the special circumstances that keep me from any real socializing, my threshold for loneliness has dropped without me even noticing.
I shook my head hard.
What the hell was I thinking? The moment I started seeking people out under the excuse of loneliness, the pheromones would get in the way again.
I'd only just been discharged; I still wasn't fully adjusted. So if I just killed the whole weekend memorizing the Pokédex...
"You're just getting here?"
"...?"
The second I sat down in the lecture hall, though, I got a visit from Yu Jiyeon. As always, both hands were stuffed in the pockets of her department jacket, and she was looking down at me with those characteristically indifferent eyes of hers.
"Yeah. But why are you here? If this was a retake I should've run into you at least once."
"I'm not here for class. Soojung said you can't make the opening party because of your part-time job?"
"Oh... You two must be pretty close if you're trading that kind of trivial gossip."
"Where's the job? From when to when?"
"Gasan Digital Complex. Six to midnight."
"That's cutting it insanely tight. You head straight there the second class ends?"
"Yeah."
Getting ambushed out of nowhere was already confusing enough—why was she grilling me like this? Yu Jiyeon rolled her eyes slightly, clearly calculating something.
"Come to think of it, where do you live? Doesn't seem like you're in the dorms like before."
"I'm living alone near the Jjoogi back gate."
"Behind the welfare center?"
"Too expensive over there. In front of the bowling alley."
"I see... Got it."
"...?"
And then she just left—as if she'd extracted every last scrap of information she wanted, she drifted off lightly on her feet.
What the hell was that conversation? She'd interrogated me like a detective on a stakeout and never even bothered to say why she'd come looking for me in the first place.
Class ended. Everyone filed out of the lecture hall chattering excitedly about the opening party and whatever else.
I slipped into shadow mode myself and glided down the stairs. Three weeks of diligently practicing my stealth arts had paid off—not a single person recognized me first and said hello.
And so I trudged home in a somewhat depressed mood.
Why was it? Why did today feel different from usual?
Probably because of the opening party. If it had just been an ordinary Friday, my heart wouldn't have felt this heavy.
I don't mean I wanted to go play social butterfly. It's just that I'd never felt so keenly that I was alone as I did today.
I must have been overwhelmed by the excited atmosphere everyone around me was giving off. At the thought that today, everyone except me would be together, my resolve started to creak.
I shook my head again.
What was I doing, already making weak noises? The semester had only just begun.
How many school events were on the calendar? I'd have to go through the same situation several more times—what good did it do to collapse before it even started?
Snap out of it and think about the weekend schedule. Think of the 1,025 species of Pokémon waiting for me...
"Ha! Look at this. I've got you now!"
"…?"
But why was Yu Jiyeon here? When I rounded the last corner before home, a scene unfolded that felt like a morning déjà vu.
It was Yu Jiyeon. Unlike her indifferent morning self, her face was full of anger, ears bright red, eyes wide open.
"J-Jiyeon? What are you doing here?"
"What about you? You said the job starts at six. Doesn't that mean you should head straight to Gasan without even stopping home?"
Yu Jiyeon's characteristically slightly smaller black irises flashed. A chill ran down my spine like I'd just met a rattlesnake in the barren Texas desert.
"That's... I left something at home, so I was going to grab it."
"Oh yeah? Then bring it out."
"What the... That tone, like you're going to check what it is?"
"I've got something in Gasan too. Same destination, so we can go together, right?"
"..."
Absolutely not. Even if I didn't want to get caught in the lie, I had zero desire to go to the trouble of actually traveling all the way to Gasan.
"Haa... You knew and waited, didn't you?"
"So you're admitting you lied? Wow, this is so absurd I can't even laugh."
"Rather than saying I lied, maybe think of it as me expressing a bit more roundaboutly that I don't want to go to the opening party? From Soojung's perspective she probably prepared pretty hard, so turning her down to her face..."
"Why don't you want to go?"
"What the... Do I have to explain even that? We're not high schoolers, and it's not like it's mandatory."
"Of course it's not obligatory. But I'm curious why you'd go so far as to lie just to avoid going."
"I just don't want to. I don't want some returning student showing up and spoiling the mood, and for the rest of my college life I just want to quietly rack up credits alone and graduate."
"The first one's the usual bluster, so I get that. But the second doesn't add up, does it? I don't know where you learned about college life, but these days the social butterflies pull better grades. What were you planning to do without a single piece of exam info?"
"Study hard... well... do my best..."
"..."
Actually, when I'd set my philosophy for the rest of college life, that was the part I'd worried about most. True to a country where you can't do anything without connections, sharing was more advantageous for grades too.
Anyway, I'd lost on logic, so I had no choice but to exercise my right to remain silent. Yu Jiyeon looked at me like I was pathetic as she spoke.
"Nothing to say? Then come with me."
"Where? The opening party? Hey, aren't you a junior? Isn't it about time you stopped showing your face at those things?"
"It's the opposite. Because I'm a junior, I'm only going up through the opening party. You still haven't told the other classmates you returned, right? Today's your last chance, so go apologize for that."
And with that she yanked—snatching my wrist and looking ready not to let go. Why the hell was she going this far?
"I don't get it, Jiyeon. So you're saying you were sure I lied and deliberately came all the way here to wait? I get that you're a little miffed I returned without saying anything. But do you think that gives you a reason to drag someone who doesn't want to go?"
"It's not that you don't want to go."
"What the... How would you know whether I want to or not?"
"You think I don't know you? Even as a freshman you never missed a single event. You think it makes sense that after a little military service you're suddenly avoiding people?"
Looking at it now, there was a rational reason for Yu Jiyeon's fussing.
She just couldn't accept that the most active social butterfly among the classmates had, in an instant, become a Voluntary Outsider.
But Jiyeon? You're thinking about the cause and effect all wrong.
It wasn't me who never missed school events—it was you. I just stuck to you like a shadow because I wanted to be with you somehow.
"You say that because you haven't been to the military. It's a place that completely remakes a person. I do think it was rude to ignore my classmates when I returned. But I said I'll take the heat, okay? You guys can talk shit behind my back, tear me apart, enjoy yourselves, turn me into the biggest piece of trash in history, and I won't complain a word..."
"It's because of that rumor, isn't it?"
"..."
But here Yu Jiyeon dropped a checkmate. She blinked as if she couldn't believe she'd said it herself, then bit her lip and started gauging my reaction.
"Rumor..."
"That's why I came. Because I don't believe 'that rumor.'"
"..."
There was no need to make Yu Jiyeon recite what "that rumor" was out of her own mouth. The fact that she—who was basically a corpse without confidence—was this flustered already spoke to the seriousness of that statement.
"Uh... Jiyeon? This might sound funny coming out of nowhere, but can you tell me why you don't believe it?"
"Because you're not that kind of guy. Sure, we only went to school together for one semester. But I think that was enough time to know you. The you I know would never do something like that. No matter what people say, I've never paid it any mind."
"..."
So that was it. The reason Yu Jiyeon had spent her precious time wandering around near my place, wherever that was, was right there.
Yu Jiyeon hadn't come to punish me. She'd come to save me.
"Of course I might just be assuming on my own. But you're avoiding us because of that, right? Afraid you'll get suspected for no reason, afraid even kids who don't know anything about it will start talking. But the more that's the case, shouldn't you be more confident? If you really want to show you're innocent, shouldn't you go out there today like nothing's wrong and say hello first?"
"..."
It was an unusually long-winded explanation for her. That meant she was taking the seriousness of this situation that highly, and I figured she must have agonized dozens of times before coming here.
"Jiyeon? Can I ask you just one thing?"
"What?"
"Are you still dating Junhyeon hyung?"
"What's with that random timing? I don't even remember how long ago we broke up."
Yu Jiyeon's expression twisted as if she never expected that question. But the real important part started here.
"Then is there someone you're seeing now?"
"Your questions keep getting weirder. If I have to answer, I'm in a resting period. I want some alone time these days."
Still, the fact that she answered every single one meant she really wanted to drag me there. So what choice did I have?
I had to do as she wanted.
"Fine. Let's go."
"What the... What's the intention behind those questions? If I'd said I was seeing someone, what were you going to answer?"
"I was going to refuse to the end."
"So you're asking why my relationship status would affect that decision?"
Because you can't be exposed to my pheromones. Of course I had no intention of telling the truth.
"Why play dumb? I liked you a ton, remember? If I'm getting dragged around like a dog, I need at least one hopeful thing, don't I?"
"Ha!"
Yu Jiyeon burst out with a hollow laugh as if it were ridiculous. Half truth, half lie.
So it was the optimal excuse—one that naturally drew a laugh.
Of course, it wasn't like I still had any lingering feelings for Yu Jiyeon. Even so, I had to give at least the minimum repayment to someone who had gone to that much trouble and believed in me to the end.
Of course that might not have been the primary reason. If I'd wanted, I could have plastered my face with iron and shouted "No" to the end.
But I couldn't. Because it wasn't just a simple "rumor."
I was clearly and certainly involved in "that incident." Not just a mere "person of interest," but the true "main culprit" existing everywhere in the tangled causal relationships like a ball of yarn.
But I couldn't disappoint Yu Jiyeon, who was appealing for belief without any sense. And more than anything...
I didn't have the confidence to reveal that the start of it all was her herself.