Melancholy
- To think there was still a human like you left in this era. Kheheheheh.
Even as his severed head rolled across the ground, Nergas Morbiterion laughed. I glared down at the demon’s decapitated face and demanded,
“What’s so funny?”
“We are immortal. In time we shall be reborn in that sacred place. But look at your right arm. My attack has rendered it useless, has it not? Neither potions nor holy power will ever mend it. Kheheheheh.”
“……”
He was right. In exchange for willingly offering his neck, he had embedded demonic parasites into my right arm and detonated them. It was a tactic I had never encountered—parasites that chewed straight through mana-clad flesh, boring into muscle and shredding the tendons inside. The mana veins that branched from my bones had stopped a complete amputation, yet it was clear I could no longer function as an adventurer.
“Look forward to it. A new festival will begin soon.”
I had no reason to listen any longer. I crushed his face beneath my boot. The sticky black blood that spilled across the earth caused the tender blades of grass sprouting there to wither and die on contact. Once I finished my report to Saintess Mano, I vanished without a trace.
I bolted upright.
“……”
The morning sunlight stung. My head throbbed from the drinking binge the night before. Yet the nightmare I had just relived remained brutally vivid. Nergas had been sealed. The saintess had assured me every demon was dead. The holy gate under dragonkin supervision had been restored, and she had confirmed it with her own eyes. She had even taken my hands and told me not to worry.
Then why did this anxiety refuse to leave me?
“Have I… grown too soft in peacetime?”
All the years I spent as an adventurer, I had neglected myself. I accepted requests so dangerous that even I questioned whether I was pushing too hard, and I sacrificed everything to save others. The result was a mind that slowly crumbled and a body that eventually gave out. Returning to my hometown had been the best decision I could have made. I felt a parent’s warmth from Doren and received steady support and encouragement from Taron. The friction I once had with Tiar had blossomed into genuine friendship. Teaching the trainees and watching them grow filled me with quiet satisfaction.
If I could just resolve the one matter with Katia—the apology I still owed her—then for the first time in years I could honestly say I was happy.
-Kael. Why are you crying? The ground is soaked in bright red blood. Every member of the party I had formed was dead except one.
-Adventurers can die on the job. That’s obvious, isn’t it?
The request itself had been flawed from the start. The difficulty we were initially given was mid-tier—exterminate a goblin tribe that had hidden in the mountains and was secretly building its forces. It would take time, but we believed our steadily improving party could handle it.
-Really bad luck, huh? We thought we’d only find low-grade magic beasts in droves, but it turned out a high-grade one was pulling the strings.
A high-grade magic beast was the second-most dangerous type, right below a monarch. The difficulty was at least special-grade. Even a party of diamond-badge adventurers could not guarantee victory.
-Ah, but you really are something, Kael. Was that truly your first time?
Viola, with her wavy crimson hair, spoke to me with something like delight.
-Yeah! Anyway, the request is complete, right? Come on. Stop crying, Kael. No amount of tears will bring them back, will it?
I held a funeral for my comrades and cremated them. When an adventurer dies, the guild delivers whatever remains of their assets to their family. Some of my companions had no relatives. In those cases, if no will existed, the right to dispose of the inheritance passed to the surviving party leader. Following my decision, Viola donated the deceased’s share to an orphanage.
-You really are kind, Kael. You truly cared for your comrades…
The guild verified our report and upgraded the request to special-grade. The reward rose accordingly. Having slain a high-grade magic beast, we jumped straight from silver to diamond badges. After the perfunctory awarding ceremony, I walked out of the guild and hurled my new badge into the sewer.
-Kael…
I was furious with the guild for misjudging the request. But such mistakes happened more often than anyone liked to admit. Veteran adventurers called it “stepping in shit.” If only I had been more vigilant… if only I had possessed more experience… perhaps that tragedy could have been avoided.
I was angrier with myself than anyone. I wanted to apologize, yet I could never atone. That reality choked me even more.
-It wasn’t your fault. The ones who were weak are to blame.
I seized Viola by the collar. This I could not overlook. She stared at me with cold eyes.
-Am I wrong? Honestly, I don’t understand you, Kael. Why do you pity them? Did you really think you could spend your whole life with comrades that weak?
“Shut up, Viola.”
-Sigh. I thought you, of all people, would understand me…
Viola pouted.
-Talent is innate. A person must know their place. Only then can they protect their own life and avoid burdening others. Let go.
With an angry glare she pried my hand away by force.
-The entertainment is over. I’m leaving. I thought I might finally make a friend, but in the end even you can’t understand me, Kael. I’m disappointed.
Viola turned to go, then paused and glanced back.
-If you ever change your mind, come find me. Viola Kalbern. That’s my house. You’ve probably heard of it—the most famous sword clan in the kingdom. Goodbye, then.
“……”
Sorrowful memories flickered past. No matter how many good ones existed, these were the ones that buried everything else.
“Haa.”
Something feels off lately.
Tiar had been watching Ray closely and kept noticing the change. His gentle smiles had grown scarce. His gaze often drifted into empty space. He answered the moment she spoke, yet his voice carried no energy.
Is it because of Katia unnie?
If anyone asked Ray who was most precious to him, the answer would undoubtedly be his childhood friend, Katia. That much was obvious.
Haa. I can’t be of any help to him…
These days she visited his house as if it were her own, acting spoiled and trying her best to support him, yet she had failed. In the end she was the only one whose desire for family had been satisfied.
“It hurts.”
Tiar lowered her wooden sword. She had been training alone beneath the waterfall. She didn’t understand the exact nature of this feeling. She only knew with certainty that she wanted to become his strength and leave an imprint on his heart.
“Is this what a real family feels like?”
Having never experienced a proper family, Tiar tilted her head in confusion, then descended the mountain and headed straight for Ray’s house.
Knock knock.
Creak.
When she rapped on the door, Ray opened it.
“Heya~ I came again today~”
“You’ve been training, huh. Good work.”
“Do I smell sweaty? I’m borrowing the bathroom.”
Tiar slipped inside, stripped without hesitation, and washed herself. On the shelf sat a bar of soap resting on its dish, scented with the same distinctive fragrance she always caught on Ray. She picked it up, rubbed it over her skin, and felt a strange flutter in her chest.
What is this feeling?
Once she was clean, Tiar put on the spare clothes Ray had prepared for her and dried her hair with a towel. The moment she stepped out of the bathroom, a delicious aroma greeted her. She dashed straight to the kitchen.
“Whoa, whoa? You can cook?”
“Not really. I’m not very good at it.”
“Who taught you? It smells amazing, though.”
A rich meat stew was simmering. Ray offered a weak smile.
“One of my old comrades loved cooking. I ended up learning from her. Her dream was to earn a fortune as an adventurer and open her own restaurant back in her hometown.”
“Oh… I see. So did she open that restaurant?”
“She died.”
“…Huh?”
Ray ladled the perfectly cooked stew onto two plates. The table was already set with warm bread, fruit jam, and fresh fruit.
“Here, let’s eat. You’re always the one eating my food. I hope it suits your taste.”
“Y-yeah…”
Ray’s meat stew was delicious. But Tiar couldn’t bring herself to say so. She had just glimpsed the abyss behind his recent melancholy, and the words stuck in her throat.
The meal passed in heavier silence than usual. When Ray finished, he cleared the dishes and began washing them. Tiar, realizing she had clumsily touched a wound, stared at his back, at a complete loss.
Idiot! You wanted to be his strength, but all you did was make him sadder! Haa.
After turning the thought over and steeling her resolve, Tiar quietly stepped behind him.
“Um… Ray?”
“Yeah?”
“If… if something’s hard or painful, you can tell me. I mean, I think of you as family. I don’t know how you feel about me, but…”
Ray paused, turned around, and looked at her. His eyes were unbearably lonely and weary.
“I think of you as family too, Tiar.”
“…Really?”
“More like a slightly mischievous little sister, I suppose. When you’re around, I feel stronger. Thank you, Tiar.”
Ray reached out naturally and stroked her hair. A shiver ran through her body just like last time, and her lips parted on their own.
“But I can’t tell you.”
“Huh?”
“I’m sorry, Tiar. It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that even if I pour my heart out to someone, the memories won’t disappear.”
In that instant an unexpected thought flashed through Tiar’s mind.
If it were Katia unnie instead of me… would Ray have spoken?
She couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud. For some reason the thought made her feel unbearably small.