Chapter 206
Translator: uly
Chapter: 206
Chapter Title: Part 2 Episode 69
I ran through gates in a daze.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I headed to a gate, and I imagined killing monsters until I closed them again.
The association president, counselors, and others contacted me occasionally, but I ignored them. I also avoided picking up calls from the Abyss kids unless absolutely necessary.
I just wanted to be alone for a bit.
Everyone had concluded that I should give up on awakening, but rather than their subjective advice on my condition, I wanted real help and solutions for the current situation.
Either wipe out all these gate monsters quickly or awaken me.
Truth be told, their presence felt a bit awkward to watch, too.
It was lonely, but knowing they all had normal lives without me stirred a slight sense of rejection. To me, they were everything.
If I dressed it up nicely, it was me stepping back so as not to disrupt their lives. Bluntly put, it was just childish petulance.
Better they just leave than pity me half-heartedly.
[Kieeeek!]
I slashed repeatedly at the monster's nape with my knife.
Even so, awakening might soften this twisted mindset a little.
I didn't know why.
But I felt like my mind would ease a lot once I awakened, even if just to F-Rank.
Gaining even that much power might alleviate the helplessness and self-loathing.
It could be because it would give hope of running high-rank gates with the kids again.
Or because it would let me feel more often like I was a necessary presence to someone, not a burden.
I cut down monsters without hesitation, praying inwardly.
Give me strength.
Tell me I have strength, too.
How much more effort do I need?
What more do I have to do? Just tell me. Whatever it is.
In my frenzy slaughtering monsters, I neglected defense and took a fatal wound, losing consciousness.
Everything turned pitch black and red around me. Darkness persisted briefly before I came to in a comfortable place.
I was covered by a black blanket that smelled of fresh forest air. My wounds had been treated.
“?”
Opening my eyes, I realized it was Seol Do-yoon's house, so I tried to sneak out without him noticing, but there wasn't a single hair of him in sight.
Good thing, too—I didn't have the energy for another argument. The headache was gone.
In place of Seol Do-yoon, a steaming cup of coffee sat on the small table beside the bed.
My throat was parched, so I took a sip.
‘Lukewarm.’
Seol Do-yoon's coffee taste was unique, that's for sure.
Still, the subtle aroma spreading out was oddly appealing the more I drank it.
After finishing the coffee, I left the house and dove back into gates. I swung my weapon mindlessly again.
* * *
I opened my eyes to find myself in Seol Do-yoon's house once more. No idea how many times this had happened.
The fatal wounds were perfectly healed, and beside me was a warm cup of coffee.
At this point, it felt exactly like a game's respawn point. Like how in games, you come back fully healed at the start after dying.
Anyway, since I was alive, I had to hit the gates again.
I gulped down the coffee like it was noodle soup and left the house to hunt for more gates.
No awakening yet, but yesterday I saved a couple from dying to monsters that burst out of a small emission-type gate.
‘Thank you, thank you so much. Really.’
Getting my abilities acknowledged made me feel on top of the world.
Thinking that awakening would let me earn that recognition from those close to me again lifted my spirits.
Trying to awaken in this hopelessly blocked state made it harder and harder to keep running gates.
As time passed, the vagueness was blurring my motivation.
Whenever that happened, I recalled saving the Abyss kids, finding Byun Woo-jin, rescuing that mother and daughter.
Knowing I was saving someone's life exhilarated me.
In those moments, I loved how completely they depended on me.
I loved how their lives were temporarily bound entirely to mine.
I couldn't make their lives mine just by saving them, but holding onto that even briefly brought happiness.
Saving strangers was great, but clutching hope that I could protect the kids who'd endured hard times with me, I gripped my weapon.
I thought villains were just monsters while running gates, but there were hunters who called themselves villains.
Was that why? While diligently killing monsters day by day, I snapped to attention to find myself beating the crap out of someone.
Looking at his face, he was a fairly famous hunter.
Combat against an awakener was disadvantageous, so I deployed a gate shelter (monster concealment device—it instantly nullifies mana) to strip both our mana, then pummeled him thoroughly.
‘Huh? Why am I beating a hunter instead of a monster?’
“Y-you damn XX!! I'll make this all public! I'll drag it into the spotlight and bury you!”
I snapped to my senses.
Here's what happened.
A monster appeared on a quiet street, attacking civilians, and a well-known hunter nearby just walked past pretending not to see.
The civilians begged him to exterminate it, but he argued that other hunters would be assigned soon anyway—why should he bother?
He had ad shoots and interviews coming up.
By the time I arrived running, a kid had already died first.
Every time someone died right in front of me, it overlapped with all those scenes of my friends dying, choking me up.
If I'd been just a bit faster, could they have lived? I glared at the hunter's back as he walked away, ignoring it despite his power.
That bastard has power.
That bastard has power.
That bastard has power.
Rage boiling, I cleared the surrounding monsters and grabbed the hunter, telling him to help clean up.
“Having power doesn't mean you have to use it to save people, right?”
Fair point. But wouldn't it be great if we all just quickly wiped out the monsters together?
If we weren't too lazy, lots of people could avoid the despair and anxiety I'd felt.
“Oh, you're an F-Rank hunter? Pfft. Low-rankers always get all righteous to compensate for their hunter insecurities. That's why I hate low-rank hunters and wannabes. I get exactly why you live like that. If you're jealous of a top hunter like me, stop meddling in others' lives and grind more gates to raise your rank~”
That set me off, and I lost it.
A speck of dust strutting around reminded me of Kim Woo-sung, too busy to save people.
It irked me how he reveled in superiority from his lucky powers.
No obligation to empower the unlucky whose lives got screwed, but at least don't mock them.
Suddenly, I recalled all the people who'd refused help during the Abyss Project days.
One side desperate with nothing, the other mocking their desperation.
It's just luck—you're not superior. If you're only using power to show off, give it to me. Let me protect the people I love. Let me safeguard the world they live in.
I wanted to rip away that unearned privilege.
So badly.
When I came to, I was at the police station.
“Kim Ina, it was mutual fisticuffs, so it's ruled mutual assault, but seriously, no more of this. You've boosted your rep catching gate crimes multiple times—you don't want to ruin that image.”
Ugh.
I rubbed my nape and sniffed unnecessarily. After a scolding, I nodded and stood up.
I'd wasted gate time on pointless drama.
Though it felt like I'd started it, I decided to think of it conveniently.
Days passed after that.
That guy had said he'd publicize it, and sure enough, people's gazes toward me shifted a bit.
Before, people responded warmly when I approached, but now mentioning I was Kim Ina earned sharp glares.
“I'm disappointed.”
Who was that?
Strangers kept coming up saying they were disappointed.
Tracking it down, the guy had time on his hands and spread my story online.
‘So this is the extent of his "public burial" threat.’
Their ambitions, living off their own hype, were pathetically small. Disappointing.
I didn't want to just take it lying down, so I countered with my hunter rank he'd omitted, a recording of his words, and medical proof it was mutual.
After that, my track record spoke for me.
My history of catching gate crimes lent weight to my side.
I'd sent him to rock bottom in return, then hit a pointless slump and brooded.
‘I really need to control my temper.’
Frustration made me want to lash out and tear down.
The earlier guy had some justification, but I might flip out over minor crap from lesser jerks.
The Abyss kids strutted on their fame and power too, but I saw them enjoying what they'd earned, while I wanted to kill those who didn't. Contradictory.
Honestly, if I got power, I might want to flaunt my status too.
And hunting needs some ego boost to draw volunteers.
That jerk's words about low-rankers preaching justice came back.
Pondering it, he wasn't entirely wrong. Without power, you act nice for opportunities.
People are contradictory, so my contradictions didn't urge change, but I didn't want to lose persuasiveness later from rash anger.
Vowing not to snap easily, I headed to a gate outbreak.
“Save your own damn lives, you pathetic lot.”
A hunter was snapping at civilian unawakeneds and leaving. I wished he'd surrender his power.
‘Should I kill him?’
But his mana rank was A4, auto-cooling my rage. I'd get wrecked before deploying gate shelter.
A mutt only bares teeth at easy prey.
I successfully quelled my anger without issue.
* * *
I ran countless gates again.
No count, no awakening news. Still, sending people out alive from gates brought small fulfillment.
It felt like forgiveness for failing to save loved ones in the past.
This time, in a gate with guildmates, heavy iron stones rained from the ceiling.
Some moved sluggishly and died.
But I herded the rest through an upper passage I found, saving them. Even if it meant I got crushed.
A pile of stones poured before me, separating me from the survivors. They desperately called my name from beyond, but couldn't cross.
Trapped in the rocks, I wept seeing corpses crushed beside me.
Misery, injustice, grief welled up. Memories of those strutting on unearned power swelled them double.
“Give me strength too!!!!!!”
My voice cracked hoarsely. It echoed everywhere at full volume.
“Please, give me strength too!!!!!”
Screaming, a metallic tang rose in my throat.
My legs were crushed, numb. Blood flowed from my side, pierced by a monster on the way.
Losing blood badly, my head spun. I struggled to crawl from the crushing pile, inching forward, but lacked strength.
Straining briefly, I blacked out again.
When I briefly regained enough strength to open my eyes, I was on someone's back. Someone was carrying me out of the gate.
Vision blurry, I couldn't tell who, but the scent was familiar.
Oddly安心 washed over me, emotions spilling out.
“Fuck, this sucks……. Hic.”
“…….”
“They died.”
“…….”
“Hic, I could've saved them all. If I'd been a bit faster…….”
“…….”
“My body hurts…….”
“…….”
“Useless bastard, I fucking hate it…….”
“…….”
“Ugh, fuck…….”
I pressed my forehead to their back and sobbed. After a long silence, they spoke.
“I checked—they're all alive. Thanks to you, we barely rescued everyone.”
A pleasant, calm voice.
“You saved them all.”
“……Really?”
I couldn't believe it and asked back.
“Yeah. It's because of you.”
The soothing, patting tone brought sleepiness.
“You protected everyone. You can keep protecting them.”
The string of obvious lies quelled my anxiety. Leaning on the sweet reassurance, I quickly fell asleep.
Current Accumulated Mana: 80.2%