Did You Get Cold Feet?
Did you get cold feet?
“…Excuse me.”
She already had permission, of course.
Irina carefully opened the door and stepped inside. A fairly spacious room greeted her.
Once she was in and the door shut behind her, she let out a sigh of relief and gave a little shiver. The tension was written all over her.
It made sense. She was probably far more flustered and nervous than Aria herself.
Still, pushing as hard as she had paid off. At least it was clear now that she had misunderstood.
That remark from the (former) commander about being skilled at handling “this”… honestly, it had looked like a lie. Or maybe just her usual brand of bluster.
Because, well…
If she was going to claim that… and she wasn’t sure she should even say this, but wasn’t it a little… pathetic?
The person seeing it for the first time had barely touched it a few times before it exploded and sprayed everywhere, and yet she still claimed to be skilled. Not exactly convincing.
So that part, at least, didn’t seem worth worrying about. Looking back, the fact that she had even thought that way felt hasty.
She was pretty picky about those things even when I was serving at her side.
Irina was turning over the past with a faintly wistful expression when her face suddenly took on a strange look.
Because the way Aria had suddenly gone after those weird drugs overlapped with things she used to say from time to time.
This old man will take his leave now.
Even if you praise me like that, this old man has nothing to give in return…
Her former commander had strangely seemed to believe she was a man. Especially when she called herself “old man”… the dissonance had been considerable.
With that body and that face, who on earth would nod along if she insisted she was an old man?
Anyway.
The fact that the current commander had put her hands on those strange drugs might have been an expression of that mindset. Irina knew better than anyone that she was a woman, so the possibility seemed fairly high.
She had confirmed it again today. With her own two eyes she had clearly seen there was a hole beneath the male organ.
…
Her face heated up for no good reason. She had one of those herself, yet somehow it still felt fresh. Fanning herself with her hand out of awkwardness, she looked around the interior and a wry smile rose to her lips.
…Still the same, it seems.
No interior design to speak of—just the bare essentials of furniture and objects sitting there forlornly. Empty enough that she could pack up and leave at any moment.
Now that she’s settled in like this, I don’t think I need to worry about that.
She let out a sigh of relief, found the powder room, stripped off her clothes, and dropped them into the laundry basket provided. Even so, wandering around looking like that was a bit much.
Walking around naked was still… awkward, of course, but that hadn’t changed.
In any case, she showed off the body Aria had praised as subtly sexy while she searched for the wardrobe. Another wry smile. Calling it a wardrobe was generous—there was just a single freestanding closet.
Even so, this is a bit much.
She opened it to find identical shirts and identical pants lined up in a row. Irina pressed a hand to her forehead without thinking.
Those weren’t going to fit her, so she eventually picked out a pair of loose-looking pajamas and finally headed back toward the bathroom.
And there, in the powder room, she ran straight into the former commander. Apparently Aria had assumed she was already finished washing, because she was casually stripping out of her clothes.
Only then did Irina realize she had spent quite a lot of time looking around the place.
Sensing someone enter the powder room, Aria froze in an awkward half-undressed pose and blinked.
“…Irina?”
“You’ve arrived.”
“Uh, yeah… I figured I should wash too… By the way… you haven’t washed yet?”
“…I didn’t know where anything was, so I was a little late.”
“Ah, right. Got it. Then you go first—I’ll wash later.”
With that, Aria really did start gathering her clothes back up as if she meant to wait.
Irina spoke quickly, though she kept her voice even.
“Why don’t we just wash together? It’s quite spacious.”
“Come on, how could we.”
“What’s wrong with it? We’re both women, after all.”
“Huh? Th-that’s not—”
She looked about to start in on some weird line about being an old man again, so Irina decided to strike first.
“We’re not so distant that we can’t even bathe together, are we?”
“…That’s…”
“If I was the only one who thought that, then I apologize.”
It worked. In the old days the private rooms would have made it fall flat, but the situation was different now.
Sure enough, Aria scratched her cheek, averted her eyes, and mumbled,
“…Fine. We can go in together.”
“It saves time—how nice is that?”
“Can’t argue with that.”
With those words Aria hurriedly stripped and rushed into the bathroom. Wondering what the hurry was, Irina followed… and was treated to a rather peculiar sight.
Aria was sitting in the empty bathtub. When Irina blinked at her, she finally seemed to realize and turned on the water.
Lukewarm water poured down like a waterfall.
“Wh-why are you doing that…?”
“…This is how I wash.”
“Is that so…?”
They had never bathed together before, so Irina accepted it at face value—until she realized why Aria was acting that way.
In the gradually filling tub, that thing between Aria’s legs was erect just like earlier.
…It seemed smaller a little while ago.
Glancing at it, Irina was struck by a sudden realization that felt like a bolt of lightning.
She might have been a virgin, but she wasn’t without knowledge. So she knew that was an “erection.”
And she also knew what it meant: that its owner was feeling sexual arousal.
In short, under the present circumstances it was reasonable to conclude that her former commander had gotten sexually excited looking at her body.
…
Did the commander like women?
Thinking back, she had never gotten involved with men. When they cooperated with others and other men showed up, those men might have followed her around one-sidedly, but the commander herself had never chased after anyone.
Thump. Thump.
Irina suddenly felt her heart pounding hard in her chest.
Realizing that Aria had felt sexual excitement toward her made her feel embarrassed, yet at the same time strangely… elated.
Maybe she had been excited even before. It just hadn’t shown when that thing wasn’t there.
Thinking that made her feel a little resentful all over again.
Because she remembered how, when she had mentioned “practice,” Aria had asked if she had any worries as if it were nothing at all.
Well… that was very much like her commander, too.
And then—
Perhaps wanting to hide the erection out of embarrassment, her commander stepped on a landmine all by herself.
“B-by the way, how are the others doing?”
Ah. You’re asking me that right now?
Irina decided special measures were in order.
Right. If the commander—no, if Aria—insisted on claiming she was a man, then why not just play along?
She was prepared to match whichever way Aria went.
Of course she hadn’t planned on doing anything this soon. To begin with… she still wasn’t sure how Aria saw her, or even what she herself wanted.
She had been living just as busily as anyone else; there hadn’t been time to sit and ponder those things.
But what was she supposed to do when the other person kept making her angry? Aria wasn’t her superior anymore.
They were equals who shared the same memories.
…Wasn’t it all right to be a little mischievous, then?
A strange little smile on her lips, she stepped into the bathroom where the water had already risen.
She felt no fear that Aria would suddenly pin her down with that hard thing. If Aria were that kind of person, she would have caused an incident long ago.
And rather—
That… might not be so bad either.
“…Huh? Irina? Wh-why are you coming in all of a sudden?”
“Hmm, well? I thought I’d try following the boss’s washing method.”
I’m going to lose my mind.
I had made up some half-assed excuse to hide the erection and climbed into the tub, and that had apparently been a terrible move.
Because Irina had come in after me saying she wanted to try it too.
With a splash, water equal to Irina’s presence sloshed over the side.
Not that much, really.
One glance made it obvious why.
The body that had been hidden under her clothes… was excellent. Long, straight limbs, breasts with just enough volume to notice. And yet she was slim enough that a delicate fragility still came through.
No, but seriously—what is this kid thinking all of a sudden?
The atmosphere had gotten weird enough that the question I’d asked a moment ago seemed to have been naturally forgotten.
In the meantime Irina had come right up close and reached out with worried eyes. Her slender, long fingers stroked over my stomach.
It wasn’t a weird touch; it was more like she was carefully feeling the scar where the hole had been.
Not that my cock knew the difference—it twitched on its own.
“Here… it left a scar after all.”
“Can’t be helped. Honestly, being alive like this is a miracle.”
“…Yes. Do you know how shocked I was then? The person who’d gone out on inspection saying something felt off came back with a hole through her stomach, and I really…”
“Ah, ahaha, that’s all in the past now. And… in the end, going out turned out to be the right call.”
“…Well. Honestly, I think the problem was the squad members on site getting careless.”
“Couldn’t be helped. Sirin was still short on experience back then. Ah, speaking of which—how’s Sirin doing? She’s not going around badmouthing me now that I’m gone, is she?”
I thought I’d transitioned the conversation pretty naturally.
“Well… I get the feeling she’s cursing me more than she’s cursing the boss.”
“Huh?”
“Because she thinks I hid you.”
“…She did?”
“Yes. Thanks to that it was a little… difficult.”
“…Sorry. Because of me.”
I had stepped on a landmine without even realizing it. The problem was that it was a landmine I shouldn’t have dodged. Looking at it like this, I really had done something awful to Irina.
“It’s fine. I expected it. By the way…”
“Hm?”
“That… got big again.”
“…Haha. Um, uh…”
“Is it because of me, perhaps?”
“Huh?”
“It was quiet until I came in, from what I could see.”
How the hell was I supposed to answer that?
Saying no was a problem, and saying yes was a problem, wasn’t it?
If I said no, I became someone who just got horny at random times, plus it would be like telling Irina she was an unattractive woman.
But if I said yes… uh, um… that was also a bit…
Sudden checkmate. Cold sweat started running. Then Irina gave a bitter little smile and murmured in a faint voice,
“Well, how attractive could I possibly be to make you like that. It’s probably just the drug.”
“No, Irina is plenty attractive.”
Earlier too, it had seemed like Irina was carrying some kind of worry. Thinking she had no charm—who the hell had whispered something that terrible to her?
That was why I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut. I had answered almost on reflex. I didn’t want to see her look disappointed.
I hadn’t thought about the aftermath at all.
“…Really?”
“Of course.”
“Then… is it true that it’s because of me?”
“…Couldn’t help it. Irina is an attractive woman.”
It wasn’t a lie, so my conscience didn’t sting. I just had the feeling it was going to be too awkward to look her in the face afterward.
…Well, we weren’t working at the same place anymore, so maybe it would be fine.
If Irina never came to visit again it would be a little sad, though.
But the flow of the conversation started heading in a direction different from what I’d expected.
“Then I should take responsibility.”
“Huh?”
“Like earlier… I’ll calm the boss’s that down for you, is what I mean.”
“…You really don’t need to go that far.”
“Is that so? But the boss’s place seems to think differently.”
“It’s a physiological reaction.”
“Or maybe, like earlier… you’re scared it might finish too quickly?”
“…What?”
“Ah, sorry. That was a slip of the tongue.”
Irina smiled lightly as if she understood and glanced at my cock.
I hadn’t said a word, yet it felt like my masculinity was being chipped away.
Remembering why I had gone after this drug in the first place, this was an insult I couldn’t just swallow.
…But was this really okay?
Earlier had been force majeure. This wasn’t.
Ah, whatever.
My head was starting to heat up too.
Yeah—as long as there was no insertion, it should be fine, right?
After finishing that little rationalization, I looked at Irina.
“…Then, want to make a bet?”
“A bet?”
But I had the feeling something had gotten tangled up—was that just me?
I didn’t know. My head was too hot for good judgment.
My mind was full of the same urge to come that I’d felt a little while ago.