Chapter 143
Chapter 143
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 143
Chapter Title: Romance of the Three Kingdoms
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Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
A novel written by Luo Guanzhong based on Chinese history from about 1,800 years ago.
It unfolds starting from the decline of the Han dynasty, China's unified empire after the Qin.
In short, it's the story where all the famous heroes we know—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Cao Cao, Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun, and so on—pop up and clash chaotically.
In the end, the three kingdoms of Wei, Shu, and Wu are established, and they battle it out until one dominates—that's the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
In the game based on that, the Gongsun Zan I was playing was a figure active before the three kingdoms formed.
A total normie among normies who just stubbornly held out against his rival Yuan Shao before committing suicide.
Still, he had some solid potential from capturing northern barbarians.
However….
Playing Gongsun Zan starting from the 195 Warlords era has one massive enemy.
"The castle's fallen."
- Yuan Shao's too OP
- Dude, just leave Gongsun Du alone, even if you go there it won't work
"No way I'm leaving an unstable rear exposed to fight? Especially against that Yuan Shao."
None other than Yuan Shao.
The guy who's gobbled up all of Hebei, the finest land in China at the time—like a pig stuffing itself. He's the strongest faction right now.
Ample supplies, tons of troops, and on top of that, elite generals like Yan Liang and Wen Chou, plus Zhang He, along with brilliant strategists. He's undeniably the top power.
And to make matters worse, there's Gongsun Du lurking behind, eyeing his back like a bandit gang. No answer to that.
-Diplomacy time
-Bring Zhao Yun and bail?
Sure, at this point Gongsun Zan has Zhao Yun, the absolute best unit in the Three Kingdoms game... but with so few soldiers, he's useless.
"Even Zhao Yun can't handle Yan Liang and Wen Chou 2v1."
-Zhao Yun could tho? lol
-Just send him with Dangun and some archers
-You go too, Gongsun Zan's stats are solid
"Then who's blocking Yuan Shao and Zhang He, High Lan? They're coming with 20,000 troops each."
No matter what battles I try, it's not just the troop numbers—the overall quality of their generals is way higher.
Three Kingdoms is basically a general slugfest, and attacking Yuan Shao—who has near top-tier Yan Liang, Wen Chou, Zhang He, and a bunch of solid sub-tiers—is impossible.
-Just don't do it ffs
-Play Cao Cao
-Just play as Yuan Shao??
"Weak factions are what make these games fun."
That said, they can't be too weak.
In that sense, Gongsun Zan is perfect.
It's tough early on, but put Zhao Yun up front, grit through it somehow, and flip the script once—just once—and you snatch Hebei's fertile lands and skyrocket.
-Only pros play weak factions
-You're sucking hard rn
-Pls just play Liu Bei??
"Liu Bei's not easy either, you know?"
Liu Bei might be the poster boy for Three Kingdoms, but reality's not that forgiving.
Strong enemies everywhere no matter the era.
Plus, foes on all sides—front, back, flanks—exhausting for the player.
Might as well face one strong enemy like Gongsun Zan. Less brain drain.
Just defend.
"Watch and see. Northern hero Gongsun Zan will devour Hebei and march on the Central Plains."
Just beat Yuan Shao.
Beat Yuan Shao, gobble up Hebei's riches and talents, then crush Cao Cao, Lu Bu, Sun Quan, Liu Bei—whoever—and conquer the land.
-Yeah defending then pushing works
-But from our viewer POV??
-Pls just play LoL
-So sleepy ffs...
Viewers might find it boring, sure... but that'll toughen them up.
"And the winner in the Central Plains will come for Hebei, right? Open a second front then and devour Yuan Shao."
Right now in the Central Plains, Lu Bu, Cao Cao, and Liu Bei are going at it hammer and tongs.
Yuan Shao's poking from across the river too.
Eventually, someone conquers the Central Plains and comes to subjugate Yuan Shao, yeah?
Bide time, fortify, wait it out.
But to reorganize in peace....
"Gotta eat Liaodong first, huh?"
Gotta deal with Gongsun Du constantly eyeing the rear.
Same Gongsun clan—why the backstabbing?
-No no no
-Just leave him
-Land there sucks anyway
-Super far
Viewers say chill, but what do they know about Three Kingdoms?
Threats from behind must be eliminated.
Zhuge Liang conquered Nanzhong before the Northern Expeditions, right?
[Anonymous, 1,000 won donation—thanks!]
Dude send troops there and who's blocking Yuan Shao?
"Huh? Zhao Yun's got it."
-That... might work
-Zhao Yun can hold
-Who conquers then if Zhao Yun holds?
"I'll go."
Gongsun Zan himself is the northern ghost who rose through talent and marriage.
Just take a few Gongsun bros and Dangun.
Marched confidently to Liaodong like that... but....
"Uh, what?"
Just as I left to siege the castle.
Troops and generals burst from Yuan Shao's castle.
-Hurry back
-We're screwed lol
-This ain't it
"Just a bit longer!"
Even if I take this place, no home base means no future—so I prepped to withdraw troops in a hurry...
Was I too hasty?
Troops poured from the Gongsun Du castle I was sieging and grabbed my ankles.
"Uh, wait, this—"
-Sigh
-lolololol
-Ffs screwed
-LoL time?
"No, Zhao Yun's holding. Heavenly Realm equivalent of Miro—total one-man army."
-???
-Wut
-Miro??
Anyway, Zhao Yun's got it.
He'll block like a Hextech Gunblade tank.
"See? He's holding."
-Whoa lol
-Insanely broken
-Holding solo
Zhao Yun lived up to the hype.
Bought time against Yuan Shao's forces—several times the size—with minimal troops.
Slipped away from Gongsun Du in that window and raced back to the castle... but....
-But now how to hold?
-Enemy troops still overwhelming tho?
Too many losses from the outing and Zhao Yun's solo defense—got casually wiped after.
Total buzzkill.
-Ffs
-No more Three Kingdoms
-U absolute trash lololol
"Hmm, okay."
No thick skin to drag it out—quit Three Kingdoms cold.
"Anyway...."
Glanced at chat.
Hmm, about time?
Just two days ago, trolls spamming cam/red pill every 100 messages. Now? Gone.
Planned more Three Kingdoms, but ending early seems fine.
"Game's done. Time for year-end live and MV behind-the-scenes?"
-???
-Wtf sudden?
-Fr??
Never dreamed it'd go like this—chat panicking...
"You hate it?"
Would they?
Nah, they'll love it.
Feels like a reward for enduring Three Kingdoms.
-No no no
-Good
-Do it
-Pls
"Alright, ask away—I'll answer most."
Gotta do it sometime.
Best right after fleecing the ants like this.
Like Yuan Shao stabbing my empty castle just now.
"Ask your questions. Keeping it quick."
Wrap before rumors draw trolls.
Too late—they get nothing.
What about regular viewers who missed the stream?
NerTube it is.
Fake Mirodan skipping for Three Kingdoms are the problem.
-How'd you get the song??
-What's with Slim Gold?
-You two close?
-Featuring??
-Tell us MV process
As expected, questions mostly about the song.
Other members already spilled on year-end live.
"Yeah, song and featuring process...."
Time to address it.
Most here know, but some might not.
That I'm buddies with Hyun-su.
But that's Kim Suhyun, right?
Contract-wise, I'm VTuber Miro—little-horned imp or whatever.
"Graciously, Slim Gold said he's a Miro broadcast regular."
So Miro's not tight with Hyun-su.
Calling BS? Fair.
Can't just go "Oh yeah me and Hyun-su besties hehe~"
-???
-?
-Fr?
-He watches VTubers??
"So now I've got this mega song."
So, Hyun-su.
Lemme sell you out a bit.
You watch my streams, right? Regular even.
Viewers won't buy chat claims anyway.
This is my stance going forward.
Whether I acknowledge red pill or not.
Guideline for how fans should act.
"Oh, and lately rumors flying about me."
Take it further.
Irresistible momentum.
Idiom from when Wu—the last survivor at Three Kingdoms' end—fell.
Split bamboo clean through—finish strong.
Fired up NerTube, pulled highlights from my variety show appearance.
"The lady here is supposedly me... but just wore this hat and was too pretty—guest and Miro aren't the same, so no misunderstandings please."
-????
-No
-This how you do it
-Insane lol
Straight-up frontal assault.
Honestly, nobody'll believe it.
But optics matter.
Now I have grounds to smack latecomers mentioning red pill.
What if they troll anyway?
Answer's in history.
1,800 years ago, when China split three ways.