The Regressor's Bitter Beginning
One side of my vision is stained red. I shake my head, trying to clear the dizziness caused by blood loss, but the motion only makes the world spin faster, so I stop. With my one remaining functional eye, I stare at the man who claims to be the greatest warrior of the barbarians.
‘Damn that woman.’
I want to curse aloud, but I can’t. This wretched Count’s estate has ears even in the walls; if word reached the Countess’s ears, it wouldn’t end with just a nagging. I have nowhere else to go if I’m kicked out, so I have no choice but to swallow my resentment.
“Haa…”
I pull a cigar from my pocket and light it on the balcony. This is the only place in the entire estate where I can be alone. There’s no Countess to ignore me, no maid acting as her eyes and ears, and no butler to watch my every move. As I light it with a worn-down, smooth flint, the smoke clouds my mind. My negative emotions seem to scatter like the haze.
‘They say you marry when your judgment is clouded, and divorce when your patience runs dry.’
To think I married a woman like her—my judgment must have been severely compromised. Seeing as this bitter cigar tastes sweet to me right now, I’m clearly still not in my right mind. Then again, how could my spirit be sound when my self-esteem is whittled away by constant criticism every single day? There’s no way a child would ever come from a marriage like this. I wish she’d take another man; then, perhaps, her attention would finally drift away from me.
A son-in-law of the Count, the legal husband of the Countess—a life spent like a doll in a display case, unable to do a single thing. My situation will never change until the day I die.
“Cough, cough.”
“Pfft.”
I choked on the smoke. A mocking laugh followed immediately. I turned around to see the new maid the Countess had hired.
“Sir Edward. The Countess has asked me to deliver a message.”
This again. Every time a new maid arrives, there’s a ritual of mocking the ignorant newcomer. I can see the anxiety in her eyes, wondering if she’s even allowed to say these things.
“…What is it?”
“The Countess said… it’s late, so stop moping around out here and go inside to sleep.”
Seeing the maid squeeze her eyes shut as she blurted it out, I felt a complex mix of emotions. Then again, what fault does this young girl have?
“…I’ll be in shortly.”
“Then, I’ll be going.”
The maid fled as if escaping. Seeing that nothing happened to her even after saying that, she’ll probably start ignoring me just like the other servants. In this castle, there is almost no one who treats me like a nobleman.
I lit a second cigar out of pure irritation, and then I heard footsteps behind me.
“It’s cold out here. Why are you doing this?”
“Mother-in-law, what brings you here…”
Vera Rystein. In the Rystein household, where I don’t have a single ally, she is the only one I can open up to. She had found me while I was moping and smoking on the only balcony where I could be alone.
“It seems my daughter is causing trouble again. I’m sorry. It’s my fault for raising her that way…”
“No, it’s not your fault, Mother-in-law…”
She was a woman of elegant beauty and a kind heart. What could I possibly say to someone who had once risked a falling-out with the Countess just to take my side in front of her daughter?
“She was such an obedient and kind child when she was young, but after she lost her father…”
My mother-in-law began her usual lament. She certainly had enough reasons to be burdened. I gave half-hearted responses, letting her words drift past me.
“You know I don’t have a son. You know I cherish you like my own son, Sir Edward, don’t you? If my daughter gives you a hard time, come and tell me immediately. Don’t stay out here alone like this.”
“Haha, yes, I will.”
I’ve been hearing that she considers me like a son for over ten years, but I have never once thought of her as a mother. She looks only five or six years older than my wife; how could I possibly see her as a mother?
“I’ll be heading in now. It’s late, so you should go inside and get some sleep.”
“Yes, I wish you a peaceful night as well, Mother-in-law.”
“Then, goodnight…”
That was last night—the moment I was left alone to smoke my cigar in the cold, empty air.
Cough.
There is no strength left in my body. When I heard the news that the northern part of the territory had been lost to a barbarian raid, or when they said the enemy had reached the very gates of the castle, I didn’t feel much. Or perhaps, I was even welcoming it, thinking I might finally escape this hellish situation.
‘Though, I didn’t want to die…’
When they said the greatest warrior had emerged from among the northern barbarians, I felt no excitement. How many ‘greatest warriors’ had already fallen to my sword?
But this one was different. The warrior who had united all the northern tribes was stronger than I could have ever imagined.
“Knight of the pale skin, the outcome seems decided. Shall we stop here?”
“That is… impossible.”
Surrender to these barbarians? As a knight, that is absolutely out of the question.
“If that is your choice, then so be it.”
The barbarian warrior gripped the red-glowing stone hanging around his neck.
“My name is Ujal, the wind from the North. Warrior of the pale skin, reveal your name.”
“I have no name to give to a barbarian like you.”
“Then you shall die without leaving even a name behind.”
A name left in the history of barbarians—it’s not an honor, it’s an insult. I didn’t answer Ujal. One could say I didn’t have the strength to answer.
“Instead, I shall end you with this well that holds my mother’s blood. This stone is a vessel that captures the blood of strong warriors. A warrior of your caliber, even if you leave no name, you can at least leave your blood.”
What kind of nonsense is that? I thought it was rare to find a barbarian who could actually speak, but it seems that just because they speak the same language doesn’t mean they aren’t still barbarians.
The barbarian sat down in front of my fallen body.
“Farewell, nameless warrior.”
The last thing reflected in my eyes was the red stone rapidly approaching my head.
After that, my vision went black, and my consciousness sank as if falling into a deep sleep.
And so, I regressed.