Chapter 56
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 56
Chapter Title: There May Be No Bad Dogs, But There Are Guys Worse Than Dogs
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“Crown Prince... this joke has gone far enough...”
“Speaking human words, are we?”
Strangely enough, human speech was coming from the dog's mouth.
“Doggie... I studied a bit of northern history and mythology, you see?”
Belial stared at me blankly, too caught off guard to respond to the out-of-left-field remark.
“History records it like this: 'The northern nomads would boil and eat their hunting dogs after the hunt.'”
Belial's throat bobbed as he finally processed the words.
-Gulp
He's probably thinking right now that he just poked the wrong madman.
With the Crown Prince standing before him looking deadly serious, Belial was no doubt imagining himself tossed into boiling water.
His brain, already frozen from witnessing magic beyond comprehension, simply shut down.
I chuckled at the dumbfounded Belial.
“Do something I like, and I'll promote you to human.”
His face drained of color, but Belial nodded vigorously.
'Never know when I might need it, so better keep some insurance.'
I patted Belial's shoulder and said,
“Handle the patent law cleanly on your own. See you next time?”
I'd dropped a subtle hint to boost his favorability, but he was too rattled—especially by that "see you next time"—to notice.
I ignored him and headed straight for the written exam hall.
The examiner waiting at the entrance greeted me.
“Greetings, Crown Prince. Before entering, please place your hand on this magic orb, which binds you to not leak the exam contents.”
A minor contract to prevent leaks, apparently.
I nodded and placed my hand on the orb the examiner indicated.
'Oaths, vows, gags... quite the variety.'
The orb glowed, and the magic—woven from various keywords and spells—seeped into my body.
I could have resisted, but with no intention of leaking anything, I let it take hold.
Inside the exam hall, I scanned for the protagonist or hero, but neither was there.
'Not today, I guess.'
Seemed like a different exam day for them.
Shrugging off the disappointment, I turned to the test paper.
I breezed through morals, history, math, and more, submitted my answer sheet, and left the hall.
Outside, students had formed a circle, and at the center...
“Jenia?”
“Crown Prince!”
Even my quiet mutter had her lighting up; she called out to me excitedly.
As all eyes turned my way, a path cleared to Jenia.
Standing before her was a beggar-dressed golden-haired man.
He stood tall, arms crossed defiantly—though his rags clashed with the expensive sword at his waist and the subspace bracelet on his wrist, fitted with a listening magic tool.
Wondering what the hell was going on, I looked to Jenia.
“Uh... Jenia, care to explain?”
As Jenia pressed a finger to her temple like it ached and opened her mouth to reply...
“Ah... what happened was...”
“You're the Crown Prince, are you?!”
[Ugh! Shut up...]
The golden-haired man bellowed at the top of his lungs.
I answered the rude, dignity-free bastard.
“Yeah... I'm the Crown Prince. And you are?”
“Perfect! Let's duel—for the Crown Princess of the Luminaria Empire!”
“What...? Duel for what?”
“If I win, I take the Crown Princess!”
I had no idea what this lunatic was babbling about. In utter disbelief, I glanced between him and Jenia.
Jenia frowned and spoke up.
“Sigh... that guy's the Third Prince of Valiant Dandellion. He's... a romanceable character, for now. We were in the same group for the entrance exam, and he suddenly confessed. I even explained we're engaged and that I'm the Crown Princess...”
I got the picture. She'd gotten tangled with a real headache.
You know the type—dimwitted, poorly raised at home...
“This romance fantasy world is wild...”
“It really is...”
The romance fantasy world was truly terrifying.
A prince from one kingdom boldly challenging for another's fiancée, even with the neighboring empire's Crown Prince right there? It screamed brain damage from some plot contrivance.
“Accept my challenge, Crown Prince!”
This wouldn't do... With a neighboring prince acting like this, the future was predictably doomed.
'That's why Valiant Kingdom hesitated to send him to the academy—he ran away on his own...'
To enlighten this pitiful lovestruck fool, I calmed my anger and explained patiently.
“Sigh... Third Prince of Dandellion, I don't make a habit of betting my fiancée. Are you sane? A third prince charging in like a wild colt, ignoring international relations? If this sparks a war, can you take responsibility for the deaths? A war over coveting another's fiancée... utterly idiotic.”
“Urk!”
At a loss for words, Dandellion scowled. I sighed and moved to take Jenia and leave.
“I trust you get it. Then, if you'll excuse—”
“So let's settle it man to man, clean and fair!”
[Whoa!]
I didn't know what that whoop meant, but it snapped my last thread of restraint.
'Never liked your face anyway.'
“Li... Liam! No!”
As I reached for the whip on a beast who wouldn't listen, Jenia paled at my expression and grabbed me.
“Romanceable character! Worldview! Causality!”
“Got it, Jenia. I won't kill him... It's fine, let go...”
“Gently! Absolutely gently!”
I gently shook off her grip on my hand and told Dandellion,
“We'll duel here. Starts in three seconds.”
“You're on!”
Dandellion drew his sword and wrapped his body in mana.
A golden aura matching his hair enveloped him.
“2... 1... Begin—”
I used telekinesis to flatten Dandellion, pinned his limbs, and splayed him spread-eagle.
“Wh... what is this?! Cowardly sorcery!”
I slowly approached and pressed my foot on his face.
“Urgh! You coward!”
Still delirious, he bared his teeth, so I yanked out a molar.
-Crunch!
-Kyaaak!
“Arrrgh!”
I had no intention of talking; I knew words wouldn't work anyway.
I ripped out another from the screaming fool.
-Crunch!
“Aaaagh!”
“Surrender and lick my shoe, and I'll let you live.”
“You coward!”
-Crunch! Crunch!
'Was my explanation not clear enough?'
My good mood from acquiring a dog soured at this mutt-worse-than-a-dog.
My head burned hot.
“Uwaaaagh!”
Looking down at screaming Dandellion, I spotted knights bearing Valiant Kingdom marks sprinting toward us from afar at breakneck speed.
“Huff... huff... please wait a moment!”
The strongest-looking knight gulped upon seeing their prince pinned beneath me.
He bowed deeply at once.
“We see the Empire's Star—”
“Enough. You're Valiant knights?”
“Y... yes...”
Sweating bullets from the sprint, gasping for breath, I addressed him.
“I heard you were pursuing your runaway Third Prince and even opened a teleport for you. Is this Valiant's intent?”
“We're sorry...”
“Your king sent a 'peace gift' recently... Is this it?”
“No, sir!”
“I'll be lodging a formal complaint with your kingdom... Now get him out of my sight.”
“Thank you! Blessings upon the Radiant Empire!”
Couldn't even manage their idiot prince—that was crime enough.
Planning to squeeze Valiant Kingdom dry over this, I knocked out the gagged Dandellion and tossed him to the knight.
The knight bowed repeatedly, signaled his groveling underlings.
They scooped up the scattered teeth, then bowed so low their torsos nearly touched the ground before fleeing swiftly.
-Murmur murmur
'Ah... screwed...'
This mad bastard had turned entrance exam day into a hot mess from the start.
Feeling my head heat up, Jenia sidled close and laced her fingers with mine.
“Us... can we handle it?”
Her soft “us” stirred a flood of thoughts.
“Now that I think about it, our first meetings... I signed a contract right away, and you only 'practiced' out of fear of twisting the plot...”
Come to think of it, he kinda reminded me of myself...
-Thud!
Embarrassed, Jenia bumped her head against my shoulder.
“Ro... romance fantasy world is scary...”
“Scary...”
“Think the Third Prince can still enroll?”
“Dunno...”
-Murmur murmur
The crowd noise swelled, so Jenia and I slipped away together.
It was still a chilly spring.
Before we knew it, exams done, we headed for the carriage.
“Huh? For real?”
“Puhahaha!”
Veronica tilting her head in confusion, Lancelot roaring with laughter.
Laughing at such a serious issue...
“Lancelot, this isn't funny... Who knows how many like him are in the academy.”
“Huh? I like that guy! Full of spirit! Puhaha!”
Jenia and I gaped at Lancelot.
Come to think of it, he was one of the characters too.
A rampaging troublemaker type.
What if our real enemies were closer than we thought?
“What? Why stare like that?”
“I'm starting to doubt the Verstappen family education.”
“Indeed... gotta be raised like that to wreak havoc in the original...”
Lancelot, unperturbed, declared proudly.
“My father always told me... A man must be mad!”
Everyone's faces went blank at how faithfully he followed the family motto.
“It's Maxim...”
“I can imagine what the Emperor dealt with, Your Highness...”
I pictured my father enjoying happy times on vacation with Mother and Serena.
'Gotta be more filial from now on...'
Father... can you hear me? I finally get it—how did you endure?
“Let's go...”
Giving up on further thought, we continued on our way.