The Cyberpunk Dictator Tin Can Cannot Retire
The Cyberpunk Dictator Tin Can Cannot Retire
"I won. Fucking finally...."
It's been 10 years since I possessed an android girl in a medieval fantasy grand strategy novel.
Whirr-!
I lightly fling my body into the wheeled CEO chair and look around at the scenery.
"The sight of the teeming workers looking as small as ants, this is it...! Ahhh!"
The floor-to-ceiling windows, open on all sides, allow me to look down at the city from any angle.
This is the Management Bureau building in the A-1 sector, the very center of the ultra-high-tech industrial city, Lunatium.
It is a luxury office in Lunatium, a gargantuan vertical metropolis that rubs shoulders with the clouds floating outside the window.
It means that the cyberpunk SF city full of neon signs and skyscrapers down there is now mine.
'I won, you son of a bitch!'
I point my middle finger at the blue sky in a gesture of victory.
I can't even begin to describe how desperately I struggled to climb up to this point.
[Yggdra Chronicle].
A trashy romance fantasy web novel that committed massive tag fraud by claiming to be 'medieval,' 'fantasy,' and 'grand strategy.'
A random SF city in a medieval fantasy? I could have let that slide.
Because the main stage of the novel wasn't here, but in a solidly medieval fantasy-style Empire.
But watching the protagonist spout absurd advice like, "Order ten people to surround and annihilate a thousand," or "Humans are herbivores, so forage for military provisions locally," and then actually seeing that advice accepted and succeeding, I just lost my mind.
As a heavy gamer who usually enjoyed playing grand strategy simulation games like the Destiny series, Stellaros, Womankind, Total War 3, and Tropica, I felt an unbearable sense of insult and had to hammer out a somewhat passionate feedback post of 5,700 characters—
And the moment I saw the author's reply notification and checked it, I had possessed this android tin can girl.
'I feel like blocking my language module.'
Being a machine, the polite speech that pops out without discretion or backbone has long since become familiar.
I don't know if it was the author who possessed me or whoever, but anyway, as of today, I have won.
"Ha, just watch. I'm going to be the happiest person in this messed-up world."
Seeing as the author, who was pissed off by my sound feedback, possessed me here, they must be a person with a petty and stingy personality who wanted to see me fall into a pit of misery.
But surprise, I survived so desperately and ate the city.
[General Director Trixie-nim! Is there anything you are uncomfortable with? Please let me know and I will correct it immediately!]
"No, I am too busy teabagging right now and am very satisfied, so please leave me to enjoy my alone time."
[Understood! But please feel free to call me, Elara, whenever you need me! No matter what anyone says, Trixie-nim is our Lunatium's benefactor and the only qualified General Director!]
Swish-!
I wave my hand to dismiss Elara, the Management Bureau hologram personal secretary AI who is fawning over me.
That's right.
As Elara said, I am the one and only ruler of this cyberpunk SF city that exists out of nowhere in this fantasy world.
If the guy who possessed me is watching from above, it's a situation that would really twist their gut.
They threw me in thinking, "Hehe, die once, you annoying bastard," but I survived tooth and nail and instead ate the strongest city in the world view?
Even I think this is infuriating.
"Thanks to that, I turned my life around."
Human -> Machine
Male -> Female
Room-dwelling gamer NEET -> Big city General Director
Wow. It's a perfect strikeout reversal.
Thanks for freeing me from a human body that was aging and getting sick.
Thanks for giving me a cute face instead of the lower parts I had no use for anyway.
Thanks for the super-overwhelming status upgrade from a low-life who couldn't even earn minimum wage.
Maybe the author wanted to change my life!
"...But what is this inexplicable anxiety."
Spin-!
I spin the CEO chair in place.
Starting today, it's the beginning of a permanent, happy dictator life with nothing to worry about.
I counted the things I had handled so far by folding my fingers.
One.
I made all the guys who thought they were something—gangsters, gangs, yakuza, mafia, cartels, triads, etc.—bow down under me.
Two.
I nationalized or normalized the companies that were playing price games with essential base resources like energy, food, and water, stabilizing prices.
Three.
I made an example of the malicious megacorps that were holding hands with human ethics and taxes to embezzle both, butchering them and splitting them all up.
Four.
I fought the runaway city government autonomous personality AI secretaries in a Yacha-rule match and beat them into submission, just like Elara.
Five.
I personally stopped an alien invasion that occurred when crazy mad scientists messed with dangerous technology beyond regulatory limits and opened an outer-space rift...
Etc., etc.
I think I've solved quite a lot besides this.
Now, I should be able to lie down and slack off as a salary thief, living a happy cyberpunk semi-permanent retirement life where I extort the fruits of the market logic that citizens earned with blood and sweat under the guise of taxes.
[Ah, General Director-nim! As of today, your appointment date, your access to diplomatic documents has been renewed! Would you like to check them right now?]
"Diplomatic documents?"
Ah.
Of course, if there are domestic problems, there must be foreign problems too.
Why is there such an endless pile of things to deal with just when I thought I was done?
Surely other countries would have made reasonable demands in a pedantic and rhetorical diplomatic tone, so I should just be able to tell Elara to package my intentions nicely and reply.
I queried the oldest document.
<148 years ago>
"Hmm?"
A document I haven't even read is from 148 years ago?
From this point on, I should have sensed that I was fucked.
[Dwarf Alliance, unilateral declaration of 20,000% tariff on Lunatium imports]
"Huh?"
I doubted my eyes.
What is this absurd number? Am I seeing this right?
It means if we want to sell our products, we have to pay the Dwarf government 20,000% of the cost price to enter...
No sane company would pay that tariff, and no sane Dwarf consumer would buy a Lunatium-made product at a price exceeding 20,000% of the cost.
It effectively means they will never let Lunatium products in.
"They're going to have some fun ripping us off while keeping the money for themselves?"
But even if I rub my eyes, there is no trace of negotiation or expression of intent from Lunatium.
Just how much has this city been losing while living like this?
"Elara. Were you scammed or what? Why did you condone such unfair treatment?"
The Management Bureau AI Elara answered triumphantly, brushing her hologram pigtails with her hand.
[Because I didn't have the authority!]
"What did you say?"
What kind of dog-eating-grass nonsense is this?
[As you know, General Director-nim, our Lunatium has had a vacant General Director position since its inception, and diplomacy and treaty establishment are the exclusive authority of the General Director. If I, a secretary AI, were to overstep and interfere, it would be an act of exceeding my authority!]
What kind of crazy talk is this?
[But that's over now! Since Trixie-nim has wonderfully taken office, I believe you will be able to solve it wisely-Eeeekkkkkkk!!?]
"You inflexible, blockheaded AI secretary. Even so, you accept the demands of those poison toads without even refuting them? If it were the funds lost because of this tariff measure, the number of incidents and accidents that could have been easily solved with that money is...! Is there no acting authority or succession system in this haphazard Management Bureau? The city has been running in this state, which is why I've been rolling around like crazy all this time."
[Eeeekkkkkkk!!! P-please calm down, General Director-nim...!]
Crunch-!
I pull on the hologram pigtails of the Management Bureau AI Elara, whom I have a love-hate relationship with.
Because things like this were managing the city, it was heading toward the path of ruin on its own despite having overwhelming technological power.
Slurp-
I even enjoyed the cheek-morphing of my anger before a thought suddenly struck me.
If this is the oldest document from 148 years ago.
What kind of outrageous stories do the documents that have piled up since then contain?
"Elara. It goes without saying, but I'm asking just in case. Did you condone or accept all these unfair diplomatic measures?"
[Ye, yes... no matter what, I couldn't intervene on my own....]
That is true.
An AI should do what a human tells it to.
"Go stand facing the wall with both arms raised, knees slightly bent, and standing on tiptoes, and reflect on yourself for not being more proactive."
[Yes ㅠ]
Leaving Elara, who is dutifully carrying out the punishment as ordered, behind, I scan the documents that have been gathering dust.
Even so, surely there's nothing harsher than a 20,000% tariff-
<97 years ago>
[Elf Guard, committing acts of looting trade routes without notice]
[We will never overlook the polluting acts that disturb Mother Earth... Listening to unofficial remarks by the Elf leader]
"Ha."
These guys are openly looting.
If it's a sin to hope for common sense from primitive forest-monkey bastards who don't even know the document-ism that is the basis of communication between nations, then it is a sin.
<73 years ago>
[Beastman Kingdom, confiscation of local corporate assets, imprisonment of dispatched employees, and notification of severance of diplomatic ties]
[Reason: Total ban on commercial activities that disturb the solemn status order within the kingdom and hinder good customs]
"Huh."
These beasts have been picking out production facilities, technology, and know-how with just empty excuses?
No wonder, in the novel, despite being a gathering place for horny beast bastards, they had well-laid waterworks in residential areas and were quite advanced like a modern city; so this was the context.
<49 years ago>
[Tower of Demons, nullification of extradition treaty and total denial of charges of interfering in Lunatium's internal affairs]
[Publicly criticizing that the Demon God will closely watch Lunatium until there is a sincere apology from Lunatium for the grave diplomatic discourtesy of daring to suspect us]
"...Ke, kekeke."
Who do these guys think they're fooling?
The high-ranking officials of the megacorps I already butchered were spouting nonsense about Demon Gods and the like, and their spirits were clearly defective; so it was the work of these guys.
I thought it was strange that people were so corrupted, even for a cyberpunk setting.
"Phew... let's endure, let's endure."
I barely calmed my exploding anger.
As a result of scanning everything, it was more manageable than I thought.
I'll have to teach them a lesson, but it wasn't enough to hinder my semi-permanent dictator retirement life.
I've overcome so many difficulties; this much is not even a problem.
[Human Empire Official Document]
[There are a total of 5 items]
Now, this is the last one.
No matter what unreasonable demands come crashing in, they won't be able to disturb my permanent, leisurely, happy life.
<58 years ago>
[Human Empire, proposal for marriage alliance with Lunatium]
<47 years ago>
[Human Empire, demand for technology transfer from Lunatium]
<33 years ago>
[Human Empire, proposal for vassalization of Lunatium]
<18 years ago>
[Human Empire, order for conversion of Lunatium]
<9 years ago>
[Human Empire, urging duty to protect human species within Lunatium]
<1 year ago>
[Human Empire, proposal for absorption and merger of Lunatium]
.
.
.
<28 days ago>
[Human Empire, ultimatum based on the premise of transferring Lunatium's sovereignty]
[Casus Belli]
[1] Eradication of heresy that avoids, denies, and turns away from the true faith
[2] Liberation of human compatriots who have been persecuted and treated unfairly within Lunatium
[3] Following the orders of His Majesty the Emperor, the agent of God and the pinnacle of humanity, is not a choice but a human duty and...<See more>
One-line summary.
If you don't hand over the city within 3 months, we will wage a holy war.
"You fu-cking thugs!!!!!!!!!!!"
[Hieeeek-!?]
Alright, let's do this, you beasts who don't even know your place.
I spent 10 years fighting for my life, bleeding out, just to get the house in order, and now what?
You're declaring war? A hooooooly waaaar??? You're going to take the city I barely protected for free?
No. Absolutely not. I will never let you take it while I'm alive.
Since it's come to this, I will definitely stomp you out.
I will bring all these damn, messed-up romance fantasy world-view thug nations, who have eaten up common sense, concepts, and morality, to their knees under me.
That is my only rest, normalization, and shortcut to retirement.
I looked out over the high plains stretching far beyond the outer iron fences and shields of the city boundary, and dreamed a new dream.
I smile brightly at the trembling Elara.
"Elara. From today, we are conquering the world."
[Ye, yes?! The world? Suddenly from the first day of taking office?!]
"The world wants me so desperately, so what can I do?"
[Hieeeek-! General Director-nim is making a sinister smile that only an evil dictator would make...!]
Ah, you guys really messed with the wrong person.
Let's see who wins, you primitive, uncivilized romance fantasy bastards.