Rewriting the Beginning 2
The mahogany staircase leading down to the first floor was luxurious. As always, dressed in just my training shorts and nothing else, I toweled off my damp hair with a white towel as I descended.
My little sister's cheeks were puffed out quite a bit as she sat at the dining table.
"Fuck… Hey! Hadojin! Did you die in the shitter? It's been thirty damn minutes."
My cute little sister grumbled, spoon in one hand and chopsticks in the other. I flashed her a grin and lightly ruffled her hair. I had this ingrained DNA that made me want to pet any cute living thing I saw first.
"Rina, sorry~"
"Don't touch my hair! Fuck. Just drop dead!"
Harina. My one-year-younger stepsister. Porcelain skin white as china. A straight bob that swayed with every move, framing her tiny, almost vanishingly small face. Walking down the street together turned every head—men, women, young, old—in a miracle of attention. Guys on public transport wouldn't stop handing her their business cards. No description in the novel could capture her beauty. She was just fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous enough to make you cry, and the shocking part was she wasn't even the heroine.
"What're you staring at?"
"Just 'cause you're pretty?"
"You crazy bastard. Just eat your damn food."
But her mouth was filthy. And for a girl, her punches packed a wallop. The first day I arrived here, when I pretended to have amnesia, she clocked me right in the solar plexus. They say a Korean fist fixes everything in one hit? I didn't block it thinking it was just a girl's punch and nearly ended up in the ER gasping for air. That shit stung.
Harina was set up to know martial arts. The country I lived in was the Daehan Kyoguk. Fucking wild—it was like Korea but a completely different world. Buses, subways, cell phones existed, but so did magic, elves, dwarves, and demonkin living side by side. A bizarre mashup of modern science and medieval fantasy. Guns or bombs would break the balance, so modern tech was there but weapons didn't exist.
"The author's gotta have a shitty brain. If science develops, weapons should too, obviously."
The Daehan Kyoguk was one of three independent kingdoms on the northern continent. Naturally, the real ruler was my father, the Cult Leader. Humans and humanoids coexisted on the north with demonkin types, while fairies dominated the south. Humans and humanoids teamed up against the fairies but ultimately lost the southern continent to them. Pushed to the cold northern continent the fairies couldn't invade, it was a forced era of peace.
"What's the point of such a plausible setup?"
The hallmark of porn novels was endless fucking without plot progression. All that plausible worldbuilding, and the fairies just ended up as a benchmark to show the protagonist's strength later.
"Hey. Quit mumbling to yourself and eat!"
At Harina's scolding, I picked up my spoon. My little sister Harina shows up mid-novel as the heir to the King of Fists. She retires early thanks to her weakness of being trained as a cumdump by the Cult Leader—a character fans regretted losing.
"Oh… this is delicious~♥"
As expected, the food my stepmom made was fucking amazing. But the girly exclamation that just slipped out wasn't from Harina—it was me.
"The seasoned spring greens are killer, right? Try the angelica root salad too—it's insane."
The total opposite of me, Harina ended every sentence with a curse. If the original Hadojin was an Egenam, Harina was the Tetoman girl position. (Tetoman: a woman overflowing with testosterone.)
"Yeah, it's good~♥"
Shit. Another soft, sweet voice leaked from my throat. My stepmom's miso stew, kimchi pancake, angelica root salad, seasoned spring greens, soft-boiled egg, and sticky rice made from premium Sin-dongjin grains—it was a spread that made my mouth water.
Stepmom had prepared breakfast and headed to work early.
"Hey, Hadojin. If you don't come down right away next time, you're getting hit."
The old Hadojin would've shrunk back, begging and pleading. I just grinned confidently and tossed a "Sorry" at Harina.
"What's with you lately? You nuts? Cosplaying a real man now?"
Harina's face flushed a bit. Probably because the Egenam scent was starting to turn into Tetoman pheromones. Egenam wasn't my type. Flower arranging? Knitting? No clue why anyone would do that shit. My original knowledge mixed with the novel Hadojin's, creating memory gaps, but now I was just… me, in Hadojin's body. A new existence.
"Hng~ So good~♥"
Except for the occasional gay-ass faggot slips from my mouth.
I carefully scooped the intact egg yolk from my fried egg and plopped it onto Harina's rice spoon.
"You like the yolk, Rina!"
"Did getting punched make your skull echo or something? You hurt anywhere?"
"Nah? Not hurt. You love yolks, Rina."
"Tch… Who said I like yolks?"
Harina squinted one eye and tilted her head. Oh. Right. Her liking yolks was a later reveal. …She sucks the Cult Leader's dick every morning and drinks his cum, so she hates whites and only eats yolks. Sad backstory.
"Whatever, keep it or not."
"Fucking psycho."
Harina gave an exasperated look but shoved the yolk-topped rice into her mouth. Plump cheeks, tiny face that could vanish. She was really pretty.
"Wow. This is seriously good. Amazing."
I couldn't help but marvel at stepmom's cooking. First time seeing MSG used this masterfully. She was the culprit who got my body hooked on it.
"Don't slurp so loud. Gross."
I had to purse my lips and chew quietly. Normal guys slurp, right? Eating silently was drilled-in table manners. Was this gaslighting how they made an Egenam?
"Hey, Rina. How do you eat without me?"
"What bullshit. Fuck."
"What if the apocalypse hits and you're alone?"
Harina couldn't eat alone. It was almost pathological. She blinked her big eyes thoughtfully, then said,
"Starve and die, duh."
"Doesn't food go down if you're solo? Just curious."
"Shut up. Unless you want a fist."
The author forgot Harina's "can't eat alone" trait mid-writing—it dropped without payoff when she retired. A character full of plot holes… that was Harina.
"Even mad, you're cute."
She was so adorable it drove me nuts. Terrifying to early Hadojin, but to me, just a cute little sis. Honestly, no blood relation, so yeah, I could see dating her. Genre being what it was…
Bam. Harina slammed her spoon on the table.
"Hey. Fuck, don't look at me like that. Ruins the food."
"Oh. Sorry, sorry. Eat up."
Her eyebrows shot up in an inverted V—punch incoming. The moment she sensed I found her cute, she got aggressive. I checked the clock and kept eating. 9:59… 10:00. Good, Harina's bowl was nearly empty.
Ding-dong, ding-dong.
"Who the hell this early?"
Harina grumbled, but I knew exactly who it was. Today was D-Day. The start of my plan.
"Who is it!"
Harina's sharp voice rang out.
- Yes. Neighborhood generator's out, here to fix the power!
"Coming!"
Harina opened the door. She was kinda dim sometimes. Didn't even ask what a generator outage had to do with our house. Novel characters' IQ never exceeds the author's. Authors cover their own stupidity with contrived settings, but it just annoys readers. For me inside the novel, though? Opportunity. Seemed like all the characters had low IQs. Makes sense—the author forgot his own setups, and I had to point them out in comments.
These guys… from the cult. Here under pretense of electrical work, but actually the cleanup team retrieving the hidden cameras and bugs installed in the house.
I pretended to eat while eyeing them one by one.
"Mr. Jang. You sure about the contact? Not three days from now, today, right?"
"Sure as hell. Came from up top. Code checked out. Excuse us~ Won't take long~"
The workers chatted as they entered. Their talk confirmed they were cult. I'd called from a payphone, entered the retrieval code, and requested 'emergency' removal. Advanced the schedule by three days. Orders from above, so they came running. Right on time too. They moved like clockwork, pulling hidden cams and bugs. Their bags filled up.
'Whoa… that many hidden cams?'
I was stunned. After cleanup, they swept again with some beeping device.
"Repairs done. Call noise and static should be gone now."
"Oh? The static pissed me off during calls~ Glad it's fixed."
Harina was thrilled. After they left, I let out a long sigh.
"Still going to plan."
Normally, retrieval was three days after excommunication. From today, no more recording or filming in this house. Meaning doormat Hadojin was out as heir. Already decided internally. Process meant stepmom hadn't gotten the notice yet.
In other words, I was fucked… and stepmom, the cumdump saintess, thoroughly discarded by the Cult Leader.
Her death was exactly three days away. Excommunication notice hits, mental breakdown from the Cult Leader's disownment, jumps into the Han River.
I had three days to save stepmom. For her miso stew… no, because she's family I want to protect.
Everything according to plan.