The Price of a Fantasy
"I am trash, I will accept the judgment of the people. Pa-ppa pa-ppa-ppa— pa-ppa pa-ppa-ppa—"
I woke up to the sound of the bugle. Yerim was already gone from my arms. I felt a pang of disappointment, thinking it had all been a dream. Wait, wasn't I supposed to be on night watch? "Uh, well, last night, nobody else would wake up. So I just did the first shift and that was it." Huh, it ended because I couldn't wake up? I felt a bit guilty. But the guys in my barracks were staring at me blankly, glancing my way every now and then. What? No, isn't it a good thing if I didn't have to do the night watch? Then one of the guys spoke up.
"Whoa, I had such a realistic dream last night. I still haven't fully woken up. But hey, Mr. Kang Min. Did you... date your girlfriend since you were in the army?"
"No, that's not it."
"That's strange. I saw your girlfriend in my dream last night."
"Oh, me too!"
"I saw her too!"
"Hey, did you guys also see her getting beaten up by a guy named Lee Bong-gon?"
The chubby guy jumped in surprise and raised his hand. "Ah, Lee Bong-gon is my senior! He ended up getting reported and went to the military prison!"
"What? You had that dream too?"
People started talking about the vivid military dream they’d all had. It seemed like everyone had been collectively swept into Yerim's dream. I quietly kept my mouth shut and said I didn't know anything about it.
Time passed, and it was time for mental education. But one thought wouldn't leave my head. What Yerim said last night kept looping in my mind.
'Oppa, you masturbated while watching my video yesterday, right? I knew because my magic power went up!'
If masturbating to Yerim's video fills her magic power, does it apply to other people besides me? Yerim said at the very beginning that the energy released when desire is satisfied is the source. I bit my pen and wrote on the back of the handout I’d been given.
Satisfaction of Desire -> Magic Power
If someone else watches Yerim's video and masturbates, does that also convert into Yerim's magic power? I tapped my desk, brimming with excitement. If that were the case, learning alchemy wouldn't just be a dream. I did a quick calculation. In reality, sex with a human is 1 Athe. In a dream, it drops by 10%, so 0.1 Athe. What did she say about masturbating to a video? She said 10% or 5% of the dream value. So if someone masturbates to Yerim's video, that's 0.01 Athe, or maybe 0.005 Athe.
If I uploaded Yerim's video to a place like Pornhub, how many views would it get? My heart pounded as I opened Pornhub. Naturally, it was blocked. Ah, right, VPN bypass. Current popular porn rankings in Korea. 792k views, 16.1M views. 792k means 790,000 views, right? If I multiply this by 0.01... 7,920 Athe.
I licked the inside of my mouth in excitement. Even if it gets cut in half, that's about 4,000 Athe. Of course, there would be people who just watch and leave without masturbating. Even if I set the ratio of people who masturbate to 10%, if just one video hits it big, that's 40 Athe. That's 40 days' worth of sex-magic power coming in all at once. Even if alchemy is a stretch, I could spam Materialization or Shape-shifting magic. It even looked possible to reside in the Akashic Record for 24 hours. My mouth went dry from the tension. I calculated the case for 16.1M views. How much is 1M? These American units are so difficult. One million. Sixteen million. 16,000,000 multiplied by 0.001. Sixteen thousand Athe. That was enough to learn alchemy and even start it up. Gold shimmered before my eyes. If I upload the video to Pornhub, sixteen thousand Athe...!
"Everyone! If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear! This is a saying from The Art of War!"
Ah, shit, you scared me! The instructor standing at the front shouted loudly to wake up the sleeping reservists. People jumped up in surprise. I clutched my pounding chest. I looked at my calculation again. I almost suggested uploading the video blindly based on a momentary judgment. Yerim said yesterday, didn't she? She didn't know if magic power would go up if someone else masturbated. If this is a phenomenon that only happens because I'm Yerim's contractor, then this is really a useless calculation. If I upload the video to Pornhub, I'd at most earn revenue per view. Unless I officially apply to be a porn star. If not that, I could sell videos on OnlyFans.
And then my eyes widened. Oh, that's not a bad idea either. I could make money even without magic power. Receiving revenue per view or selling videos on OnlyFans both seemed quite attractive. As I was pondering, the instructor shouted again to wake up the reservists.
"However, if it is not the right path, you must not take it. Everyone! Do you know about General Kim Young-hwan and General Jang Ji-ryang?"
The reservist instructor shouted once more. I stared blankly at the podium at the words "not the right path."
"These two generals were ordered to bomb Haeinsa Temple on the pretext of mopping up communist guerrillas. However, they refused to the end, saying it was an impossible thing to do. President Syngman Rhee ordered them to be executed, but it was eventually aborted. Who among these people is someone who will not be ashamed in history?"
"Everyone, keep this in mind! Live a life you are not ashamed of. I have learned little in my 50 years of life, but I can be confident that I have lived a life that I am not ashamed to stand here. This pride is the only thing I will take with me when I die. That is all."
When the speech ended, the reservists clapped out of habit. It was the kind of applause that meant, "The second day is finally ending." But I buried my face in my hands and fell into thought. If I upload a video of having sex with Yerim to Pornhub, what will happen to the real Yerim? The eyes that smiled at me. The shoulders that sighed in trouble while turning away customers who confessed to her. The back that heaved while sobbing that it was hard. The lips that apologetically rejected my confession. The memory of being rejected pricked me like a thorn.
And if I uploaded Yerim's video, the real Yerim's remaining life would be a mess. A scene of her begging to have her "butt virginity" pierced. Sure, I could earn magic power and money. Hey, they say Yerim is a slut who’s already been taken from front to back anyway. What difference would one or two videos spreading make? They’ll just think one of her ex-boyfriends leaked it. It won't even be found out. The dark voice inside me whispered.
Shut up. Whether she’s a slut or not is irrelevant. Just because she lived a promiscuous life doesn't mean it's okay for a video to spread. I chased away the dark voice inside me and lifted my head. First, I had to test it before uploading Yerim's video. If someone other than me watches Yerim's video and masturbates, does the magic power go up? Who should I ask? Asking people around me to masturbate sounded like a crazy thing to do no matter how I thought about it. Then, should I upload it to the internet with her face blurred? Could I control it from spreading? Would someone recognize my voice? Would someone recognize Yerim even with a blur? Should I modulate the voice too? There were too many problems. I didn't want to upload a video I couldn't control and screw up my life and the real Yerim's life.
I held my head and fell into thought. Unfortunately, it wasn't a problem with an easy answer. I thought about it throughout the remaining reservist training time, but I couldn't come up with any answer until I was discharged. I'll have to discuss it with Yerim first. I trudged toward the main gate.
"Oppa! Over here!"
Yerim was jumping up and down, waving her hand. It was the outfit from when I first met her. Black turtleneck, jeans. I wonder what kind of underwear she's wearing? The closer I got, the more my heart fluttered. Yerim, seemingly without a care, came up to my side and took my hand. "Oppa, I missed you!"
Everything I had been worrying about disappeared like cotton candy washed away in water. Whether Yerim had been okay while I was at reservist training, how she got here. I was only curious about things related to Yerim.
"Yerim, how did you get all the way here!"
"I took the bus~"
Yerim held out her hand and made a V sign. "It was my first time using a T-money card. Buses are much more comfortable than carriages!"
Just then, a grumbling sound came from her side. Yerim's face turned beet red. "You didn't eat?"
"I did eat, but..."
Looking at her up close, there were tear tracks around Yerim's eyes. What is this? And her gait looked tired. "Did something happen on the way?"
"No..."
I looked at Yerim's feet. They were the slippers I used to wear, but they were scuffed and damaged here and there. This reservist training center was really quite far. It took me a long time to get here too. Wait, could this be...
An alarm went off in my head. I had vaguely assumed Yerim would be able to take the bus just fine. So, distracted by thinking about Pornhub, I gave her the address and told her to find her way. Yerim said she could come, but if she was just bluffing without being used to it...
"What time did you leave?"
"Eleven... o'clock..."
It's five-thirty now. That means she’d been wandering for a whole six hours. The corners of Yerim's mouth, who was talking, suddenly dropped. When you're too sad and exhausted, you can't control your mouth. Tears flowed out like a dam breaking. "Hic, I didn't ask, I thought I could, come... in the middle... I took a wrong turn into a strange place... and I waited for the bus for an hour, but it didn't come..."
Wiping away the dripping tears, she buried her face in my shoulder. "I really thought I was lost and wouldn't be able to see Oppa. It's really too far here. I was so scared..."
Damn it, I’m an idiot for thinking about Pornhub discussions while having sex after this was over. Damn it! I beat my head in regret and comforted Yerim. She's a girl who’s never even ridden a bus before! Even if I told her to wait at the main gate, I should have just told her to take a taxi!! I felt like I’d rather die in her place.
Yerim's sobbing only subsided after she’d used up almost a whole box of tissues. She turned her head, perhaps not wanting to show her completely swollen face. My heart aches...
Just then, a car pulled up and stopped next to us. It was a New Avante. What is this? When the window rolled down, I saw the guy from the same barracks. It was the guy who left by Dodge. "Hey, is something wrong? Should I give you a ride to the outside?" It seemed the guy from the Dodge was a nice kid after all.