School Life is Fucking Spectacular # 3
School Life is Fucking Spectacular # 3
"Heh! You all look so adorable sitting there so nicely! The taste of brand-new first-year cadets is truly something else!"
Magic Combat Instructor Kawar seemed utterly delighted. A teacher this full of enthusiasm? I'd never seen one in my entire life, so it felt intensely novel.
Just look at those eyes sparkling.
I could tell. This was someone who genuinely loved teaching. Realizing that, I felt a surge of goodwill. A teacher brimming with passion—how excellent was that? This was surely going to be an instructor I could respect.
It's a little embarrassing to admit, but when I was a kid, I wanted to become a teacher like that too.
I gave up on it after a teacher beat me like a dog, though.
"Oh, do any of you cadets already know who I am?!"
At that, a bunch of students raised their hands.
"We know you! Instructor Hyper Witch!"
"Hyper Witch! Hyper Witch!"
What?
What did you guys just say?
"Getting to learn from Hyper Witch is like a dream...!"
Why—why Hyper Witch?
Can't you at least call her Hyper Witch?
"Ahahahaha! So you all do know me! Oh, you're making me blush!"
Hyper Witch said that while twisting her body as if she were truly embarrassed. No... why doesn't it match her image at all?
—Swish.
Her brilliant golden hair was truly beautiful. What was her hairstyle—seaweed hair? Wavy long hair flowing all the way down to her waist. On top of that, her height and figure were practically model-tier... but seeing someone so gorgeous act so frivolous felt borderline uncanny.
Why is nobody normal here?
Instructor Lee So-ra seemed like the most normal one.
"Anyway! How about a quick introduction for the cadets who don't know me? Hello! I am Magic Combat Instructor Kawar! I'm quite famous in the field of magic! And starting today, I'm also the terrifying instructor who will be teaching you adorable cadets! Rawr!"
She struck a pose as if she were a tiger going rawr.
—Hahaha!
The students burst into laughter. Whatever the case, popular, friendly teachers who get along with students exist everywhere. She already felt approachable.
"Everyone remembers what happened yesterday, right? A mid-sized C-rank monster, the Warp Spider, suddenly appeared and the cadets went into a total panic! Absolute chaos and pandemonium!"
For some reason, my back started heating up...!
Better duck my head a little for now!
"That was all my handiwork! It was an illusion spell I created to test you cadets! Well, the phantom monster intrusion drill is part of the standard curriculum, so please don't hold it against me too much... but something else happened yesterday, didn't it?"
In that instant.
—Swish.
Eyes swiveled toward me. Even with my head slightly bowed, I could still sense it—was it that eye power thing? Something like that.
No, but why...!
You guys got surprised too!
Why are you all looking at me?! Take a good look at yourselves!
But more than anything, a single, scorching gaze was piercing straight through me.
And it came from directly ahead.
"One cadet screamed 'OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIIIIIIIT!!!' loud enough to make the world split apart! Ahah! Ahahahahahaha!"
Please don't laugh!
"Heh... hehehe!"
"Hahahahaha!"
"Pfft! Ha, hahah!"
Right on cue, the other students started laughing too! These bastards got scared themselves and now, because they're embarrassed, they're all dumping it on me! Crafty little shits!
"And the star of that show is sitting right over there! Kim Geun-cheol! Stand up!"
Why are you making me stand up...!
"Uh, n-no... how do you even know who I am..."
"Because I watched it in the faculty office with Instructor Lee So-ra!"
"Still, you shouldn't just expose a student's embarrassing moments..."
"Ah! Our Kim Geun-cheol has gone all red! Ahahahaha! This is fun! Okay, I got a good look at your face, so that's enough! Our Kim Geun-cheol, be seated!"
I sat down immediately.
Have I seriously been marked?
"..."
Even after I sat, the students' gazes didn't retreat.
They were all looking at me and laughing.
"He was so hilarious! I've never seen a cadet that terrified before! But it's fine! Under Instructor Kawar's guidance, you'll all become brave warriors! Now, then!"
—Thud!
At that moment, the instructor struck the floor with the staff she was holding.
—Whoooosh!
Simultaneously, a brilliant blue light erupted and wrapped around the entire classroom like a curtain!
"Wh-what is this?!"
Is this seriously real magic?!
What an incredible effect!
In an instant, the classroom was blanketed in a beautiful blue barrier! Felt like I'd stepped right into another dimension. The other students also ooh-ed and ah-ed while looking around.
"Let us begin Instructor Kawar's first magic lesson! Today, you will experience yesterday's illusion a little more properly!"
"What?! You're showing us that insane monster illusion again?!"
I yelled in shock! Instructor Kawar heard me, grinned, pointed a finger gun my way, twirled it, and declared:
"Hey now, Kim Geun-cheol? Nailing the answer already! Do we have the makings of an honors student here?"
Honors student my ass!
"An h-honors student...! Pffft!"
"He was an honors student, not the Fuckboy?"
"Ha, hahah! Keh-heh-heh!"
Guys, please stop teasing this uncle...!
Coming to school at this age and going through this is way too humiliating!
"Well, anyway! This is mandatory. Mandatory. There may not be many monsters, but among the monsterkin, there are species that use lethal illusions as their primary weapon. Does any cadet know which ones?"
There was an immediate answer.
"The monsterkin of the Kahavel Brigade."
Leona, seated diagonally from me, supplied the answer.
Kahavel Brigade?
"Oho! As expected of top cadet Leona! You're wonderfully knowledgeable!"
"I'm from the European sphere. I've gotten thoroughly sick of hearing about those bastards' infamy."
"After all, they're foes even Mister Dominators couldn't easily subjugate."
From what I gathered, it sounded like a monsterkin group that used lethal illusions as its main weapon. According to what I'd looked up on the internet yesterday, monsterkin are 'intelligent races' from the Otherworld.
Aliens, so to speak.
They want to invade Earth. And apparently, some species have actually occupied parts of Earth's territory.
"Anyway, those monsterkin disturb human senses with extremely lethal illusions and hunt us down. They are exceptionally dangerous, so we do this drill periodically as a warning. You know how when you enlist, you do CBRN training? That fun time where everyone breathes gas together hacking and coughing? Just think of it as experiencing that!"
Everyone here is a minor—is that really an appropriate example?
"Be careful. Instructor Kawar is famous for her masterful handling of illusion magic."
"You'd better stay on your toes. Yesterday won't even compare."
"Th-that's terrifying..."
Students who'd already gotten friendly among themselves were deliberately feeding me ominous lines to rattle me.
I'm scared half to death.
Still, I was fully aware that it was an illusion this time. So I wouldn't make a fool of myself like yesterday. What's there to be scared of when I already know it's an illusion?
Let's aim for an image transformation here. I cannot afford to destroy my rep any further.
"Have you all exchanged your thoughts? Then, let's begin the first lesson! I'll cast an individual illusion on each of you, so do your best to endure it!"
Individual ones, huh... I felt tense but also a little excited. I'd just witnessed real magic right before my eyes. What would an illusion actually feel like?
"Oh, and if you endure it, I'll give you a kiss!"
Excuse me?
"A k-kiss! Kiss, kiss, kiss!"
"Kiiiiiiisssssss!"
"Wooooooh!"
At that tacked-on remark, the excessively worked-up male students shot up from their seats and roared. Nobody's normal here. No matter how I look at it, those bastards are psychos. I'd better not get tangled up with them.
"Ahahahaha! Such great reactions! Then, presenting Cool-Sexy-Beauty Instructor Kawar's Illusion Terror Express! Let the experience begin! I hope you all endure well. Now, who should go first... drumroll, drumroll, drumroll, drumroll, drumroll!"
Utterly thrilled, Instructor Kawar made the drumroll sound with her mouth while waggling her finger.
In times like this, staying quiet is the answer. I'll just observe how the first guy reacts and figure out how to cope. Kinda feels like that Harry Potter Dementor test.
"Kim Geun-cheol!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO?!!"
Why!
"Why is my name coming up?!"
Why me!
"Whoa, excellent loud answer! I like cadets with big voices! Anyway, first up is our Kim Geun-cheol!"
"Oh man, Instructor! Why me?! Give me something to work with here!"
This is unjust; I have to argue!
If I just take this lying down, she might only ever pick on me from now on!
"That is, well, just because!"
Just because!
"Just one look told me Kim Geun-cheol is the perfect candidate! Now, come on up front!"
"No, but Instructor, why do you keep calling me Kim Geun-cheol like we know each other..."
"Because that's what the Chairwoman called you?"
"..."
"Hurry up and come forward, Kim Geun-cheol! Oh! And no going 'OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIT' this time! Ahahahahaha!"
—Hahahahahaha!
—Heh-hahahahahah!
We are just straight-up filming a comedy special right now.
Fine!
Laugh it up, all of you!
I am about to change my image right here!
"Hoo... Instructor Kawar?"
"Does our Kim Geun-cheol have something to say?"
"Nothing major. It's just, yesterday that happened because I was startled and reacted reflexively. I'm not normally like that, so I'd appreciate it if you took note."
"Oh my! I absolutely must take note! Whatever our Kim Geun-cheol says!"
Instructor Kawar smacked her own forehead melodramatically at my words. This person's gestures are way too over-the-top.
Anyway, I walked straight to the front, right up to Instructor Kawar.
"And, Instructor."
I said what I needed to say. That's Geun-cheol for you.
"Yes?"
"It seems to me that you're looking at me like I'm a total coward, but illusions? Illusions, whatever—knowing it's an illusion makes it nothing. It's not the least bit scary, so I hope you won't be mocking me from now on."
I said it completely seriously.
"Ahh."
—Grin.
"Is that so?"
In an instant, an incredibly terrifying and dreadful smile bloomed on Instructor Kawar's face... What? What did I just see?
Was that face even human just now?
"In-Instructor?"
Wait.
Whoa.
Hold on. Wait. This felt ominous. Something deadly. Stop. Stop. Please stop, Instructor. No—Big Sis! Big Sis! Please just stop!!!! Why wouldn't my voice come out!!!!
"Let's begin. Do your best? If you endure it well, I'll reward you with a congratulatory kiss. Ah, but for a brave fellow like our Kim Geun-cheol, of course you'll endure it. Now, then... Yap? It's showtime."
—Snap.
The moment Instructor Kawar snapped her fingers right in front of my eyes.
—Whoooosh.
In an instant, the world scattered.
"Uh, uh?"
Pitch-black.
A pitch-black darkness.
My surroundings instantly saturated with shadow. At the same time, a noise utterly grotesque rang out. From within the darkness came the violent slamming of a door, BANG, BANG, and theeeeeeeeeen!!!!
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
MY GUTS!!!! MY GUUUUUUTS!!!! A LONG-NECKED MAN WITH COUNTLESS LITTLE HOLES CLUSTERED ALL OVER HIS INNARDS, CRAWLING TOWARD ME EYELESS, SLIT HIS STOMACH OPEN AND SHOWED IT TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
"HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! SOMEBODY SAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"