Kitty, What on Earth Is This Guy #2
Kitty, What on Earth Is This Guy #2
"No, Leona. Miss me? Miss me how? What about you if I become president?"
"I'd be vice president."
Instant answer.
"What."
Way too natural a response.
"See, I looked into it, and the president has all the appointment powers. If Kim Geun-cheol is president, aren't I automatically vice president?"
"No?"
"What do you mean, no! You wanna die, Kim Geun-cheol! You ever heard of a fist kiss?!"
An enraged Leona raised her fist!
"Oh my god, Leona's threatening me!"
"Conduct! Conduct yourself properly!"
"Kidding! I'm kidding! Of course that's how it should be!"
Of course, that's all under the assumption that I actually become student council president.
"Hmph! Obviously!"
Leona poured water into my cup and continued.
"Anyway, that's that. If Kim Geun-cheol doesn't have any particular plans, then I should be the one to run. I always wanted to, anyway. So... if I do end up running."
"If you run?"
"Support me as vice president, Kim Geun-cheol. With your overwhelming support, that should be enough."
"Heh heh heh, already campaigning, huh."
But it gets me thinking a little.
South Korea's an autocratic superhuman monarchy, Europe's an oligarchic superhuman state, and yet we elect the school president through a democratic vote.
The more I think about it, the more ironic it feels.
"But Leona."
"Yes?"
"Are you really ready for it?"
"For what?"
"Ready to receive my 'support'?"
Receiving the support of this Kim Geun-cheol.
That's heavier than anything else.
"You know what it means to have my support, right? Well, you of all people would know."
I said it with all the gravity I could muster, and Leona answered with a solemn expression, like something out of a graphic novel.
"Of course I know. To receive Kim Geun-cheol's support means inheriting that very will."
"In that case."
"I'll show you. Grand unification of the first years!"
"As expected! Leona, you're someone I've had my eye on! If it's you! If it's you, Leona, you can realize my ambitions!"
"Ohohohohot! That goes without saying! Any ambition is but a morning pastime before me, Leona Kainus! I'll realize it as easily as eating a piece of cake!"
"Hahahahahaha!"
So we're babbling nonsense like that, hitting it off and running our mouths, when—
—Thunk.
At last, the Universe-Destroying Asura Jjamppong had arrived.
"Ah."
It's finally here.
This food of hell.
—Bubble bubble.
Even inside the bowl, it keeps boiling, forming red bubbles, a truly grotesque sight. And yet, I feel an immense appetite looking at it.
—Crack.
I split my wooden chopsticks.
"Okay. So the plotting ends here. If we go into the election, support me as vice president."
Leona said, picking up her chopsticks too.
"Heh heh heh, sure. Oh right, but Leona? Why do you want to be president so badly?"
"Hmm, well, it's not that important, really. But if there's a title to be had, shouldn't I wear it? Besides, I'm a foreigner. I need to learn more about the academy system."
"Ah, that thing you mentioned?"
"Yes. There are academies in Europe too, but the best academy is in Korea, after all."
Hah.
"I'm thinking of doing some benchmarking. It's an essential step for better nurturing the next generation of heroes. Becoming student council president will let me know the school better."
And I'll help you know it better.
"Well, that's one of the reasons I decided to study abroad. My mother was Korean, too. And, well, there's a lot to learn from the Korean-style autocratic superhuman monarchy... it's that, in many ways. Study abroad, study abroad. Now, let's eat!"
"Alright!"
—Slaash!
I jab my wooden chopsticks into the bowl, like lava about to erupt, and lift a tangle of Chinese noodles soaked in blood-red broth.
—Wispy steam.
The noodles gave off steam.
And then.
—Sloop!
I dunked them back into the crimson broth, letting even more soup soak between every strand.
"Uooooooh!"
After drenching the noodles like that, I yanked them out like a ghost.
"Kuhap!"
Before the broth clinging to the noodles could fall away, I shoved it all into my mouth!
"Hrk, kruoooo...! Slurp!"
The pain was long and intense. A horrifying spiciness slammed into my tongue and spread throughout my entire mouth. But what I felt in the midst of it was a supreme flavor.
Energy's recharging!
"Kruhaaaaaack!"
Next to Leona, who ate quietly, I waged a desperate struggle, devouring the jjamppong. Sweat poured like rain, but it was so delicious I was going insane...!
"Kreuh! As expected of Kim Geun-cheol! You eat so well! You've grown so much! Let's walk the path of the 'Spice Tyrant' together at this pace!"
An excited Leona shouted... Yeah, Leona definitely has a twisted hobby of watching other people suffer from spicy food.
* * *
"Look at this bastard, mouth hanging open."
After annihilating the jjamppong, I met up with my friends. These two are spice wimps, so they ran away when I said I was eating jjamppong and only came back now.
Cowards.
"Yu-ri. You gonna go have a bowl too?"
"Uh. Fuck off. I'm never eating that."
"Really. I wish Woo Yu-ri would learn the taste of Asura Jjamppong too."
"It's fucking spicy!"
"Si-hoo. How about you, then?"
"I won't eat it!"
"End times, I tell you, end times. How can Koreans skip out on spicy food? This is the real dystopia."
Anyway, we went into a cafe with the crew, grabbed a seat, and as I slurped away at my medium latte as usual, we talked about the student council president.
"So, in the end, Leona's president? Hey. You should fight for something like that, man. Why are you meekly giving it up?"
"Hey, hey. I never had any plans to do it in the first place."
"How boring. Anyway. So Leona's president and you're vice president, Kim Geun-cheol? Then what do I do?"
"Yu-ri, you're the janitor."
"Fuck you."
"Alright, alright! Coffee duty!"
"Wanna die?"
Yu-ri, sitting across from me, raised her fist to threaten me, but the student council president (provisional) was already at my side.
"Leona! Punish Woo Yu-ri with the authority of the president!"
"That's enough out of you. Woo Yu-ri? Attack."
"Got it!"
"Ack!"
I have no allies!
"Hoo. Si-hoo. This won't do. You be the janitor."
"That's abuse of vice presidential authority!"
"In my reign, the concept of 'abuse of authority' does not exist. Understood? Lee Si-hoo?"
"Geun-cheol's already drunk on power!"
"They say the position makes the person... Hoo."
Leaning back in my chair and crossing my legs, I sucked on my latte haughtily, and it really did feel like the actual power of the vice presidency was palpable.
"This guy and his goddamn histrionics."
"Still, if Kim Geun-cheol becomes vice president, he'll work hard again. Anyway. Woo Yu-ri, Lee Si-hoo! Both of you, help me out when it's election season!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Okay. Will do."
Is this what you'd call Leona's Faction?
Already, the school's influential students have been co-opted into helping with Leona's campaign. But honestly, we don't even have to work that hard since there's no one else really gunning for the student council president spot.
We're the top rankers of the Warrior Class, so that goes without saying. Even the Mage Class has already pledged their support to me.
The only ones left are the Noncombat Class kids, but I don't really know them, and their numbers are fewer than the Warrior and Mage Classes combined anyway, so it's nothing to worry about.
Power's already decided, huh.
"But you really are just divvying it up among yourselves. So this is the student council?"
"Hohoho, what's wrong with that? It's only a one-year term, and you don't actually do that much. It's just something you breeze through, so we're just helping ourselves."
A truly righteous mindset.
"Anyway. The festival's coming up soon, too. They said the election is right after the festival ends, so let's both work hard! Kim Geun-cheol! You'll have to campaign anyway, so you should enter some festival events to get your face out there!"
"Just order me around, order me around everywhere!"
But.
I might kinda want to sing?
* * *
I came back after having a ton of fun with my friends.
The time is evening. There's still a while until midnight.
"All preparations are done."
All combat preparations are complete. I've got my gear, my rations, a few consumables, everything ready. At this rate, I'll have no problems even after I go to the otherworld.
And above all, Kitty is here.
Alright, let's see.
There's some time until midnight, so I'll just rest and recover my stamina while I wait. It makes me nervous, but it's also a good opportunity.
"Fragments."
All my secrets are hidden there. And right now, I'm also training the Lion's Roar.
The world connected to the Fragment is literally a world of monsters. In a place like that, I can freely blast the Lion's Roar and train.
It's exactly what the Chairwoman used to do in her younger days. Honestly, like she said, training through actual combat is the best.
"I want to roar freely, too."
Is it because I've become a Lion's Roar user?
I can feel the impulse to release my voice slithering up from deep inside me. Maybe this... is something every Lion's Roar user goes through.
If you have overwhelming power, you naturally want to use it.
—Vwoong.
As I had my eyes closed and was resting, a gate formed in the living room.
"Geun-cheol. It's about time to go."
Kitty stepped in lightly.
"Ah. Off to the Fragment World again, huh."
"Yeah. You're well prepared?"
"It's important."
I'm fully equipped. Plus, my backpack's stuffed with consumables. I even brought two swords. My own sword and the Antillery General's chitin sword.
Armed enough.
"Then show me the way, Kitty."
"Okay."
Kitty nodded.
"Ah, but Geun-cheol. When we get there, I want you to find something."
"What? Find what?"
Is there something to find other than the Fragment?
"Here."
Kitty held out an antique-looking letter envelope.
"Check it once you're inside. It contains magic power. It'll guide you, Geun-cheol."
"What do you mean? You're coming with me to guide me. Do it there."
"Uuum, well."
Kitty suddenly scratched her cheek like she was in a bind.
"Circumstances. I can't come with you this time."
"What?! Why!"
What the hell is she suddenly saying!
"You're my ace in the hole, Kitty!"