This is a Boss?! # 8
This is a Boss?! # 8
Lee Si-hoo screamed internally.
'What the hell is going on?!'
Not only had she shown Kim Geun-cheol her breasts—the very picture of her shame—but he'd called her a Doppelganger Slime on top of that. Of all things, he says that here? She was so bewildered by this completely unexpected turn of events that she didn't know what to do.
Whatever the case, it's over.
What am I supposed to do?
Now that it had come to this, she was going to be found out for sure someday. Right now he was going on about slimes and whatever, but once he'd seen them, there was no hiding it.
'Uuugh!'
The unfamiliar monster they'd just killed, the situation Kim Geun-cheol was in—none of it mattered anymore.
What on earth was she supposed to say to her best friend, waiting there for her?
* * *
"Th-th-that."
I stared at Slahu as she ran toward me.
Because she'd covered her chest just barely enough, the destructive power was no joke. And since she was running with my clothes wrapped around her chest... things were bouncing all over the place.
Watching that, I reached a conclusion.
It was impossible after all.
Si-hoo was actually a girl. And she'd hidden it from me.
I'd considered that hypothesis, but no. If that were true, there's no way she could've hidden breasts that big.
Thus, my final conclusion.
"That thing copied more than just Si-hoo's body—it partially copied his personality and memories."
This is insane.
This is incredibly dangerous, a massive threat to humanity. Cold sweat was pouring down my back.
An otherworldly monster that copies someone's appearance and personality? Is this The Faculty? There's this old movie called The Faculty that was super popular among my classmates back in the day. It was about an alien that steals bodies and takes over an entire university in no time—a truly excellent body-snatcher flick.
Because of that thing, all of humanity might be subsumed by slimes.
While I was agonizing over that—
—Fwoosh!
The surroundings shook violently and the background began collapsing rapidly. Then, like a shell cracking, we returned to the real world.
"We're back."
The surroundings looked just like they had right before time stopped and the scenery changed.
Lots of people, normal sky, normal buildings. We'd taken care of those unknown monsters and returned to our own world.
But.
"Huh?"
There was Slahu still... no! A crazy entity strutting through the streets with a weird cloth wrapped around her chest!
"You lunatic!"
Pulling that kind of insane shit with Si-hoo's body!
"You bastard! Get over here right now!"
She looked like a complete pervert!
She was drawing people's attention.
We need to get somewhere quiet first.
"Geun-cheol?!"
I grabbed her wrist and pulled; Slahu threw a fit. She didn't seem interested in fighting me right now. For now, I had to get us out of sight.
"Hurry! Come on!"
"Ah!"
I scooped her up by the waist and sprinted into an alleyway. Let's hide her somewhere quiet first.
"Okay. This should be good."
I set Slahu down in a secluded spot. Right now, she was hanging her head, covering her chest.
"You monster. First, try to put on some proper clothes."
"Seriously...!"
Slahu wriggled as she tried to put on the clothes. But the problem was, she couldn't get them on properly.
"Put them on, fast!"
"Geun-cheol! I'm Lee Si-hoo! I'm not a slime!"
"Whaa?"
Shall we start the interrogation?
"You're really Si-hoo? Then what's with those boobs?"
Did you get hit by a breast-enlarging ray or something? Patent that shit right now! I'd blast every woman on Earth with it!
"Don't give me that crap, man. You're a slime; you're totally busted."
"I'm telling you, no!"
"Don't give me crazy talk. Do you know how long I've been living with Si-hoo? You bastard. I've even seen Si-hoo's bare chest. His chest doesn't have... boobs attached like yours."
"You've never seen it! You're making that up!"
Slahu cried out as if wronged.
"How did you know that?"
"Because I'm him!"
Come to think of it, I'd never actually seen Si-hoo's chest. That guy had a weirdly obsessive habit of covering his body.
Of course, that alone isn't proof he's a girl.
I'd seen plenty of guys in the military who hated showing skin. Si-hoo was the type who always showered alone in the dark after lights-out. He'd negotiated that right not only with the platoon leader, but with the company commander himself.
"Hmph, you know that because you're sharing some of his memories. Anyway, you bastard. I've spent so long with Si-hoo, there's no way I wouldn't know his gender, dumbass."
Still, with all the time we've spent together, if he were a girl I'd have known ages ago.
"You're definitely a Doppelganger Slime. Maybe you're the kind of monster that even believes you're Si-hoo yourself, without a doubt. If that's the case... I'm a little sorry. But it's the truth. Nothing we can do."
It's a cruel thing to say, but that possibility exists.
One of those famous old movies is called Impostor.
It's a sci-fi film set on an Earth at war with aliens. The protagonist gets arrested, suspected of being an alien suicide spy.
He protests that it's an absurd misunderstanding and he's human, but nobody believes him. Facing death, he makes a violent escape. But... he actually was a spy all along.
He had implanted memories of being human and believed with all his heart that he was one.
"Slahu! You might be that kind of existence!"
"This is really...!"
"And there are tons of others! The robot who thought he was human...! The alien! The werewolf! Even a monkey and a vampire!"
A chimpanzee raised by humans went to the zoo one day and fell into a deep depression!
Whatever the case, the price of that kind of delusion was a horribly cruel tragedy! The moment it realizes it wasn't human, its entire life collapses!
"So you're a slime! If you carry Lee Si-hoo's righteous heart inside you, then use that power for humanity right now, or disappear forever! I'm telling you to admit it now and find your own life!"
This is my answer.
We can't coexist.
But she fought alongside me as a comrade, and she carries Si-hoo's memories, so I'm telling her this at least.
"Ugh...!"
For some reason, tears were streaming down my face...!
"I'm telling you to go, you slime bastard! Don't ever show yourself in front of us again!"
Even if she's a slime, if she has Si-hoo's memories, she might be thinking like Si-hoo right now. So saying this hurt deep in my bones. No. It definitely did.
Slahu fought alongside me. It's obvious that's because she believes herself to be Lee Si-hoo.
"Waaaaaaaahhh!!!"
I have to cut down someone like that...!
"This is a tragedy!!!"
"Shut the fuck up with that bullshit! Geun-cheol! It's all bullshit! All bullshit! I'll explain it properly, so listen! It's important, so brace yourself!"
"What?"
—Grab!
Slahu seized my shoulders tight and shouted.
"No matter what you say... I won't change my mind."
"Then try calling me! If I were a fake Lee Si-hoo, I wouldn't have a phone, right!"
"Could've stolen it."
"Stolen it? Who can take a phone from Lee Si-hoo?"
Well, that's not really possible.
"Hmm... fine. Let's give it a try. But if it's not you, you admit it cleanly."
"You're the one who'll have to admit it, Kim Geun-cheol."
"Fine."
—Beep.
The moment I made the call—
—Ring-ring.
A sound rang from her pants pocket.
"Huh?"
"See? Right?"
"Bullshit! Signal hijacking! It's signal hijacking!"
"What signal hijacking! It's not a plane—I've never even heard of that! Do you wanna die?!"
"Th-this is completely...!"
For real?
"I don't believe it! Explain more!"
"Fine. I'll explain more."
Slahu answered with confidence.
"Geun-cheol. I was always a girl. That's why I refused every single time you asked to go to the baths together."
"Oh."
So she's connecting it like that?
"And after showering, I always came out fully dressed."
"Well, would ya look at that. So that means you're a girl? Then why did you hide your gender? Don't tell me it was to infiltrate the boys' dorm? You bastard, you're a total pervert!"
Crazy!
Now it's a problem even if Si-hoo really is a girl!
My true friend Lee Si-hoo was a total pervert...! If he'd been a male friend, I wouldn't care if he were a pervert, but if he's a female friend, it's a whole different story!
"It's not like that! There were circumstances! Family circumstances!"
"What kind of circumstances?"
"I can't reveal them. I said they're family circumstances."
"So I'm asking what kind of circumstances!"
Oh?
Got her!
She can't answer!
"F-family..."
"Did you think I'd let it slide if you just vaguely said 'family'? You shithead, you are busted, man!"
"Aaagh! They're circumstances I can't disclose! That's why I kept hiding my gender!"
"You do realize that makes logical sense but you can't explain it, right?"
"Ugh...!"
As if mortified, Slahu clenched her jaw tight.
"Th-then!"
"What?"
She shouted as if she'd just realized something.
"Then let's go to the dorms together right now! If Lee Si-hoo isn't there, doesn't that prove I'm the real one?"
"Oh!!!"
So you've finally shown your true colors!
—Shing!
I instantly drew my sword and aimed it at her!
"Yeah...! The academy was your goal from the start! You were planning to infiltrate it!"
"Geun-cheol, why is your imagination so overactive?! When you keep making cold, accurate points, I run out of things to say! You're always acting like an idiot, so why only at times like this?!"
"I'm an idiot? Ha!"
I'm speechless!
"That's your mistake!"
That's the decisive evidence!
"You jerk! I'm a guy who's known as an honor student and a genius at school! Calling me an idiot...! That's exactly the proof that you're a fake!"
"Crazy talk! That's crazy talk! Why do you so earnestly believe you're something like that?! You're the one who sounds like a slime! Stop talking nonsense!"
With nothing left to say, she just kept repeating "crazy talk" like a broken radio. Ah, but since she is a living creature, let's call her a parrot instead.
"And most decisively, man. If you had boobs like those, could you really have hidden them? Think about it logically. Wouldn't I have noticed?"
"That's...! Ah! Right!"
Suddenly Slahu's face brightened.
What now?
"Geun-cheol. Go buy me some bandages."
"Bandages?"
"With those, I can wrap them perfectly. I'll show you. If I show you, you'll believe me, right?"
"Would ya look at that?"
Wrap them with bandages?
"Fine. I'll see for myself. You stay right here and wait."
"Please, hurry back...! I want to clear up this misunderstanding too!"
—Fwoosh!
I kicked off the ground, searched for a pharmacy with my phone, and headed there. I bought the bandages in no time and came back; Slahu had been waiting for me just fine.
"Didn't run away, huh?"
"Why would I run?"
"Here. Bandages. Let's see you try. Let's see if you can cover up something that big."
"Fine. Watch closely... no! Don't watch! Turn around!"
She keeps acting like a girl. Obviously, not falling for it.
"I have to supervise you!"
"You just want to see my boobs!"
Well.
She is a slime.
But, how should I put it? They're well-made.
I'd like to look. But that's not the reason I'm saying this. Supervision is important. And no matter how nice they look... it's Si-hoo, isn't it? If Si-hoo were really a girl, that'd be one thing. But a guy with girl boobs attached, that's a bit much.
"Look? What do you mean look?! It's because I have to supervise to make sure they're properly covered!"
It's not like I trust Slahu.
I just want to make her realize she's a slime through this. If it doesn't work, she'll realize she was a monster.
"Seriously...! Supervise? Fine, supervise then! Fine! If you need to supervise, then watch all you want from there!"
Her face bright red, Slahu shouted challengingly.
"But at least let me turn my body! I just need to turn around; I'll start right away!"
Turn around?
"Turn around my ass. You're a slime, so, uh, you might suddenly turn your body and deflate those things."
"What?! If I could shrink them, I would've done that before showing myself in front of you, Geun-cheol! You idiot!"
"Well... is that so?"
True. If that were possible, she probably would've done it.
She could've fooled me easily then.
"No. It's possible you missed your timing or made some mistake. You could be saying that to make up for it now. So you'll start with your chest exposed. Got it?"
That's the sure way.
"Ugh...!"
Tears welled up in Slahu's eyes.
In the one-in-a-million chance she really is the female Lee Si-hoo, this would be a terrible thing to do, but that can't happen. Even if it were true, clearing her name is more important.
"Crying won't work, man. I'm carrying out this interrogation on the honor and the very existence of my best friend... Lee Si-hoo."
"Why do you have to emphasize friendship at a time like this and make it moving...! You just want to see my boobs!"
"Why would I want to see a same-sex friend's boobs?! Quit yapping and try covering those magnificent boobs of yours with those bandages!"
Because I'm going to watch it clearly with my own two eyes!!!