Kim Geun-cheol's Bizarre Adventure # 4
Kim Geun-cheol's Bizarre Adventure # 4
I'd grabbed the key.
Did Kitty leave it here before?
All sorts of thoughts popped up.
"Good."
I took out the phone from my pocket. At least I always kept my phone in my pocket, so I could bring it with me.
—Snap.
I took a picture of the monument right away. I focused especially on the writing so it'd be legible. There wasn't any real reason to photograph it, but maybe I'd be able to read it someday, so I just took the shot.
And then I used my phone to sketch a rough map.
"Hmm."
I marked the path I'd come from, the branching points, that sort of thing. When I went that way before, it turned into a dead end. Let's try a different direction.
"How big is this place, anyway?"
I couldn't grasp how enormous this meaningless maze really was. After all this running around, I'd only found one room. The rest of the place was completely packed with monsters.
Anyway.
If there's a key, that probably means there are other rooms too.
"Let's go."
I resumed my search.
"Kitty! I'm going to keep exploring!"
Look at this kid, seriously not answering.
* * *
—Slice!
[Coin Obtained: 19]
I slaughtered every Banker I came across while exploring.
It seems like these Banker bastards laid eggs or something inside the maze. How the hell did these bastards get in here?
"I should manage my mana distribution better."
As I kept killing them, I got used to it. I minimized my mana expenditure by only channeling mana into the sword right when I slashed a Banker. On another note, this sword seems pretty decent. I'll take it and use it as my backup weapon.
"Where's the treasure?"
Whatever the case, now that I have a key, there might be some treasure. That's what dungeons usually mean, after all. So where does this key go?
A treasure chest?
Or a new room?
Honestly, this ain't a game, so no crazy bastard would set up a treasure chest right here in a maze. It's probably a key to open some door... Ah, but come to think of it, having monsters live in a maze where there's nothing to eat or drink is also unrealistic.
Or maybe there's a water source somewhere?
Monsters are still living creatures. They'll collapse if they don't eat something. If that huge mass of monsters is active, then maybe there's some kind of food source somewhere.
—Thud, thud.
That's when it happened, while I was mapping and steadily exploring.
"Ooh!"
I found a door!
A genuine exclamation slipped out. I immediately pulled the key from my pocket and tried it in the keyhole. I didn't think it would work right away, but... Click. The door opened.
"Holy shit, that's perfect."
I already get to use the key.
I hope there's something good inside.
—Creeak.
Right after I opened the door and stepped in.
I discovered something bizarre.
"Whoa."
Skeletal remains.
A skeleton draped in rags sat propped against the wall.
"What the fuck is this?"
Why are there bones here? Could it be a skeleton that'll animate? Tension rising, I aimed my sword and slowly approached. Hopefully it won't suddenly start moving.
—Tap, tap.
I poked the skeleton with the tip of my blade.
No reaction.
"It's actually just bones?"
The skeleton wore tattered rags. They probably used to be proper clothes, but looked worn down over time. And on its hand... it wore a ring. On its head rested a corroded circlet.
"A ring and a circlet, huh."
Right next to the skeleton lay what looked like a dagger.
"..."
I snatched up the dagger and examined it. It was rusted and weathered, but clearly used to be a magnificent ceremonial dagger.
"What the hell is this bastard?"
A skeleton in this kind of get-up.
Most of all, the design of the dagger. No matter how you look at it, it doesn't seem modern. It literally looks like an antique blade. And look at that crown-like circlet. Seriously, who goes around wearing something like that?
"Wait, was it Kitty...?"
For a moment, dark thoughts crossed my mind—that Kitty had stashed a corpse here, or maybe thrown in a person like she did to me.
"Shit."
I shook it off immediately.
Now's not the time for that kind of thinking.
—Swipe.
I searched the skeleton.
I removed the circlet and slipped off the ring. It felt a bit grimy, like grave-robbing a body, but if these bones are this ancient, it's actually better that a living person handles them.
Think about it.
I'm the skeleton. As a skeleton, I'd been trapped in this maze just sitting still for ages. Under those circumstances, you naturally start missing people. If anyone came and touched my old bones, I'd be overjoyed.
With that sentiment, I finished looting.
"A rusted ring. A weathered circlet. And an old dagger."
Why is this person here? Did they hide in here to escape some monster, and then just... die?
The instant I thought that,
I realized something obvious.
"Ah."
This bastard's skeletal structure... isn't it incredibly similar to a human's?
No.
It's similar.
Incredibly similar. I'm no bone expert, but haven't I seen what human bones look like plenty of times? I've seen them all the time at hospitals, or through media.
These are definitely human remains. I should've suspected they belonged to a monsterkin, but it looked so natural that I concluded it was a person without even a moment's doubt.
"Why?"
Why is there a body like this inside Kitty's dungeon?
"..."
Anyway, I'd looted everything there was to loot.
I pushed down the creepy feeling, opened the closed door, and stepped back out—
—Flash!
"Huh?"
A blinding light erupted!
* * *
"I'm back?!"
The instant the flash burst out, I was returned to my own room!
"A gate!"
Did Kitty somehow install a gate on that door? The sensation felt incredibly similar to when I first entered the dungeon!
"You wicked little brat! Kitty, aren't you coming out!"
I'm extremely relieved she sent me back, but that's one thing and this is another! Sending me to a place like that without permission!
"Kitty!"
I called for Kitty as I dropped my gear. But there's no response. Fine. So she's not gonna come out, huh? If she'd come out immediately, I was going to forgive the spanking, but no more.
No matter what, I'll teach her a lesson.
—Beep, beep, beep.
I instantly dialed Kitty.
—Brrrring.
"Huh? You're still not picking up? Kitty! So you're ignoring my calls, huh!"
The moment I shouted that.
—Shooo.
I felt a presence behind me!
I spun around!
"Geun-cheol."
There she was, Kitty!
"Hey! Kitty! What the hell did you do!"
"What did I do?"
"Sending me off to a place like that out of nowhere!"
"Hmm? What are you talking about, Geun-cheol?"
Kitty acted innocent and gave a sly smile.
"A place like what? Hmm? What sort of place?"
"Look at this. You can't even ask for forgiveness and you're playing dumb? You just sent me to a weird place! I suddenly went there without any weapons, I thought I was dead!"
"There's no way you'd die from something like that, Geun-cheol."
So she admits it!
"Don't be too mad, Geun-cheol. That was a gift from Kitty."
"Even if you're giving a gift, hey! You gotta tell me first! What am I supposed to do if you just drop me into a place like that all of a sudden! Without any weapons!"
"Geun-cheol. Please forgive me."
Kitty smiled gently, came up beside me, and wrapped her arms around mine.
Looks like she plans to diffuse the situation by acting cute, but it won't work today. No matter what, I'll give her some corrective education.
"But you fought the monsters hard, didn't you? Haven't you grown from that?"
"Nah, you think killing a few monsters makes you grow?"
"Experience piles up. If this were a game, you'd just level up... but in reality, experience accumulates. Geun-cheol. That's what becomes your power."
Kitty said that.
"So then, Geun-cheol. How much have you grown?"
Her voice suddenly got a little lower as she said it.
Oh, yeah.
So she's doubting my current state. Yeah. I know that. Maybe her whole scheme was to make me fight monsters and test the result.
Of course.
It won't work today.
"I'LL—!!!"
"H-Huh?"
As I screamed, Kitty flinched away from me.
"A gift is a gift, but you can't send me to a place like that out of nowhere! And you're still not even apologizing! Kitty, do you know how much you freaked me out!"
And then, with a dead-serious expression, I scolded Kitty while staring right at her. I gave her a truly heartfelt chewing-out, one that could bring someone to tears.
"Geun-cheol?"
As I scolded her like that, Kitty smiled a little, flustered, and took a step back from me.
"That's it! Kitty, you keep teasing me! And on top of that, you dropped me in a place like that without a single word and had a good laugh!"
"That's not it, Geun-cheol. That was, how should I say—"
"Today, Kitty, you're gonna get a real scolding. Get over here, right now!"
"Ack."
—Grabbed!
I immediately seized Kitty's wrist and pulled her down to sit on the bed.
"A-Ack. Geun-cheol..."
And I made her bend over my thigh. From now on, I'm going to spank Kitty's butt without an ounce of mercy. Since ancient times, the proper way to discipline an impudent kid like this is to spank them.
"Kitty, are you sorry or not!"
"S-Sorry, Geun-cheol. Let me go."
Kitty turned her head slightly, trying to look at me, clearly flustered. Still, a kid is a kid. Look at her flustered face just because she's getting disciplined!
She's cute, but no!
Today, I'll establish discipline!
Kitty here has scared me way too much up until now. Do you know how terrified I was? It's time to make her feel the weight of an older brother.
I can't let her push me around forever.
"I don't feel the sincerity! The sincerity! Kitty, you need to be disciplined today!"
"U-Uh... I don't want to be scolded. Geun-cheol? Kitty says she's sorry, so first, this one..."
Ignoring Kitty's muttered words.
—Swish!
I raised my palm and opened it flat, then landed a decently firm smack on Kitty's butt!
—Smack!
My palm wrapped around Kitty's butt, covered in the black dress.
"Kyaaah!"
Kitty screamed at the same time.
"Geun-cheol?!"
"Kitty's getting disciplined today. This is a punishment, so hold still!"
"Wait!"
One more time!
—Smack!
"Ah!"
"Where do you get off being so dramatic!"
"I-I'm not being dramatic—"
—Smack!
"Eep! Eep!"
I didn't even hit her that hard, and she's already pretending it hurts!
Honestly, spanking Kitty's butt like this doesn't make me feel great, either. But Kitty is a kid who needs to be properly disciplined once. If I keep letting her be, thinking she'll figure it out, she'll turn into a brat with no manners like the new generation.
"Geun-cheol...!"
"Kitty. Let me tell you, I'm genuinely worried about you. That's why I'm sincerely disciplining you. There are things you can do and things you can't do in this world. What Kitty did today was something you shouldn't do. Understand?"
"B-But that was only a gift I gave for you, Geun-cheol..."
Kitty's voice trembled.
Seeing her make excuses, it looked like she knew what she'd done was wrong. So I gently stroked her back and said,
"I'm thankful for the gift, Kitty."
"Huh?"
"You gave it to me while thinking about me. Fighting the monsters was a little dangerous, but... if Kitty gave me that for my sake, then I'm grateful."
"Then why..."
"Even so, dropping me in a place like that without any warning was wrong! Kitty! I appreciate the thought, but if you made a mistake, you need to be disciplined!"
Once more!
—Smack!
I spanked Kitty's butt!
"Ahp!"
Then, after yelping once, Kitty squirmed out of my arms like a little mouse!
"Kitty, where are you going!"
And then she suddenly scurried to make a gate!
"You come back to me right now!"
"E-Even my sister has never scolded Kitty like this..."
"What?"
"I hate you, Geun-cheol."
—Scuttle!
Leaving those last words, Kitty slipped right into the gate!
"That brat?"